• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

They are lying in pursuit of an agenda.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

This has so much WTF written all over it that it is hard to comprehend.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

rich, arrogant assholes who equate luck with genius

If you are still in the gop, you are either an extremist yourself, or in bed with those who are.

Is it negotiation when the other party actually wants to shoot the hostage?

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

The words do not have to be perfect.

The snowflake in chief appeared visibly frustrated when questioned by a reporter about egg prices.

Jack Smith: “Why did you start campaigning in the middle of my investigation?!”

In my day, never was longer.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

They love authoritarianism, but only when they get to be the authoritarians.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / This is too delicious to

This is too delicious to

by John Cole|  February 6, 200212:53 am| Leave a Comment

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

This is too delicious to avoid comment. So I won’t.

Lindh Lawyers Cite ‘Coercive’ Treatment by U.S. Forces

Lawyers for John Walker Lindh, the American captured with anti-American forces in Afghanistan, said today that Mr. Lindh had been treated harshly in “highly coercive conditions” by his American captors after being abused by forces friendly to the United States.

Yeah. He was probably handcuffed. I bet they pointed a gun or two at him, those Green Beret bastards. I don’t want to say this too loudly, because I will cause massive indigestion among the upper crust in the U.K., but they may have even put a hood on him. He was not, however, mobbed by fanatics and terrorists and essentially bitten to death, which was the fate of another American who happened to be in the region. His name was Mike Spann.

As a federal grand jury indicted Mr. Lindh on 10 criminal charges today, his lawyers filed an unusual statement with the court that offered Mr. Lindh’s harrowing account of his treatment after he was captured in November near Mazar-i-Sharif, following what his lawyers said was a 50-mile trek through mountains with little food or water.

Sorry. The limousines his lawyers are used to are notoriously hard to navigate through mountains and the Khyber Pass. It should be noted that he was probably fed more food and water than your average Afghani. At least enough to sustain him so that he can now, through his lawyers, emit a whine heard throughout the world.

The statement, signed by George C. Harris, one of several lawyers representing Mr. Lindh, was part of an effort to win Mr. Lindh’s release on bail. It said Mr. Lindh, who converted to Islam in his teens, narrowly escaped death at the hands of American-backed anti-Taliban forces during an uprising at the Qala Jangi fortress.

I love that phrase- ‘the American-backed anti-Taliban forces.’ Also known as HIS SWORN ENEMIES THAT HE TRAINED TO KILL AND THEN SHOT AT IN THE NAME OF ALLAH. Even funnier, the main reason the Marin County Mullah is still alive is most likely because as soon as he was captured, he blurted out he was an AMERICAN. And our allies respected that, and he was probably afforded a fate much better than many in the region, because of the influence of the country he trained with Al Qaeda to destroy.

His lawyers said Mr. Lindh, 20, was abused by his American captors, who bound him to a stretcher with heavy tape, placed him in a windowless metal container, gave him little food or medical attention and refused to allow him to speak with a lawyer.

However, he was not hung by his wrists, beaten until his internal organs resembled blood pudding, and then had his testicles zapped with a cattle prod, all before being thrown from a tall building. Cruel fates like that are reserved for individuals whose chief offenses against humanity are practicing Christianity and being homosexual.

At a news conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft expressed little sympathy for Mr. Lindh.

“The United States is a country that cherishes religious tolerance, political democracy and equality between men and women.” Mr. Ashcroft said. “By his own account, John Walker Lindh allied himself with terrorists who reject these values.”

Word.

The 10 charges accuse Mr. Lindh of training to fight with Osama bin Laden’s terror network and then conspiring with the Taliban to kill Americans in Afghanistan.

“John Walker Lindh chose to train with Al Qaeda, chose to fight with the Taliban, chose to be led by Osama bin Laden,” Mr. Ashcroft said. “The reasons for his choices may never be fully known to us, but the fact of these choices is clear.”

Word up.

Mr. Lindh’s lawyers said in their statement that their client was with other prisoners in a dank basement while under arrest by anti-Taliban forces commanded by Gen. Abdul Rashid Dostum, now the deputy defense minister of the interim government of Afghanistan. During the uprising, Mr. Lindh’s captors threw grenades and fired rockets down ventilator shafts, killing prisoners below.

Crude, but effective. But wait a minute. These are not the people he is accusing of mistreating him, are they? Oh, who cares. Good show, chaps.

At one point, General Dostum’s men poured oil and diesel fuel down a duct and lighted the fuel, starting a fire that killed many prisoners, the statement said.

At the end of a week, the anti-Taliban troops poured ice water through the ducts into the basement. “As the water rose,” the statement said, “Mr. Lindh was able to stand up with the help of other prisoners to avoid drowning. Around Mr. Lindh other prisoners who could not stand up were drowned.”

Here is a thought. They could have surrendered. In fact, they eventually did. And guess what!! The grenades, rockets, fire and ice water STOPPED.

Today, Mr. Lindh’s lawyers said the government had produced nothing that showed Mr. Lindh had engaged in any violent acts.

“There are no allegations and no evidence that he ever so much as fired a shot, even at Northern Alliance soldiers,” the lawyers said in their court filing.

What the hell do they think the 10-COUNT INDICTMENT is?

What they are actually doing is a creating a cute little straw-man argument. The actual indictment can be found here. Thanks to Instapundit for the link. Their argument is that no one is accusing him of activities that would be considered treason, which requires a higher burden of proof (although I think it is there). Essentially, it is the same as if Mike Tyson were indicted for rape, and his lawyers came out and said: “Listen- no one is accusing him of murdering anybody.” No. They are accusing him of rape. Same with the Tali-Boy. No one is accusing him of treason. They are, however, accusing, alleging, indicting- choose your word- that he engaged in the following criminal acts:

Conspiracy to Murder U.S. Nationals (18 U.S.C.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Ok.. I thought I was
Next Post: At least one more person »

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - BarcaChicago  - Off the Gunflint Trail/Boundary Waters 6
Image by BarcaChicago (7/7/25)

World Central Kitchen

Donate

Recent Comments

  • p.a. on On The Road – mayim – Digging out Dad’s work (Jul 8, 2025 @ 6:52am)
  • Mai Naem mobile on On The Road – mayim – Digging out Dad’s work (Jul 8, 2025 @ 6:51am)
  • Baud on Late Night Open Thread: Elon’s Latest Public Tantrum (Jul 8, 2025 @ 6:36am)
  • Gloria DryGarden on On The Road – mayim – Digging out Dad’s work (Jul 8, 2025 @ 6:36am)
  • Josie on On The Road – mayim – Digging out Dad’s work (Jul 8, 2025 @ 6:36am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
No Kings Protests June 14 2025

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Feeling Defeated?  If We Give Up, It's Game Over

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!