This is just beautiful. Will Warren beats Alex Beam with a rhyme. I have not laughed so hard since the Heather Mallick poem.
He’s the ’62 Mets of the features page,
The de Havilland Comet of the modern age.
As solid as the Tacoma Narrows Bridge,
As sure as the Exxon Valdez, or Tom Ridge.
He’s the fourth Stooge, Charlie Brown without the nice,
The Titanic steaming madly toward the ice,
The Ottoman Empire of the copy desk,
With head so marbleized it’s quite statuesque.
Of prose pros in Beantown, he’s the shoddiest,
Of all Hub nimrods, he’s the nimroddiest.
He’s the ornament of the All-Schlump team:
Hail King Alex, news crap-out supreme!