This is not a parody:
After reading the paper this morning I’m so depressed that I just want to crawl into a hole and go to sleep forever. I’m afraid that there are days when I just can’t stand to watch any longer as the Republican party continues its ceaseless, step-by-step quest to destroy a great country and a decent society, and today is one of those days.
I guess that means I should pick up the LA Times and celebrate. Let’s see, let me check my agenda today:
1.) Taunt poor, attempt to steal bag lady’s change jar from her grocery cart.
2.) Attack the environment- I think I will drive my car really fast for a while in a circular route around town. Then I will change my oil and throw the old oil into the woods out back. When I am done, maybe I will do some random littering and shoot some small animals.
3.) Next in my ‘ceaseless, step-by-step quest to destroy a great country’ I will try to screw up our international relations. I think I will visit every messageboard on a French web domain and post “America hates cheese-eating surrender monkeys!- Go to hell, George Bush.”
4.) I better do something homophobic- maybe I will squirt KY jelly on all the door handles of the gay bar downtown.
5.) For my final step in ruining the country, I will do what Democrats hate most- I will go to work. Yep- I will work hard, and then earn money. Maybe a lot of it- then they can really hate me and call me greedy, selfish, and unfair. You see, there is nothing noble about earning a living and wanting to keep it.
Seriously- I don’t mean to be picking on the Calpundit (how could I- have you seen his cats?), but if this post is not proof of Jane’s Law, I don’t know what is.
*** Update ***
Go read the comments section this to Yglesias’s post. Pay special attention to the unhinged Zizka. Dearest Zizka- I was not attacking Kevin – I was poking fun at him. This post looked like it was written by Stuart Smalley, not the straight-forward, unabashed moderate that Kevin normally is. Also, this post was typical of the silliness that is always reported about Republicans. You know the drill- we are all mean, we hate the poor, we love to trash the environment, etc. That is what I was making fun of- not Kevin, not his politics, not the issues close to him. Got it?
Nice Zizka quote for you:
The core constituency of the Republican Party consists of neo-Confederates, Armageddon Christians, promoters of a Fourth World War, and anti-government, anti-tax fanatics.
Which one are you?
Ricky
Yup, and that was was in the same week in which he said we’ve been cutting federal spending over the last 20 years.
It’s surely been a bad week for lefties who are nearing wacko status but still considered somewhat reasonable, I guess.
He’s getting ‘out there’.
MommaBear
GO, JOHN !! Uphold the honor for all of us! We have EARNED the right to go do that sort of thing, unlike the slugs that bleat and wail, [and take more than they give].
Matthew
Eh, Kevin’s just upset because he thinks (but won’t say) that Democrats will lose in 2004, and he’s sublimating this disappointment into hysterical anger at the Republicans.
Republicans did this too when Bob Dole turned out to be our nominee in 1996. “Bob Dole sucks, and therefore Clinton is EEEEEEEEEVIL!”
William Burns
Going to work is what Democrats hate most? Than why is unemployment up under Republicans?
John Cole
William- In case you missed it, the list is a JOKE.
Thumb
William- In case you missed it, the list is a JOKE.
Yeah, that part about going to work and making a lot of money in today’s economy was the dead give-a-way. Had me rolling.
Hey, I hear that Burger Hut is starting at $9.75 an hour.
JKC
Well, kids, half the Republican Party spent the 90’s spouting off about how Bill Clinton was the incarnation of Satan among us. So if Kevin wants to have a bad day in public, let him.
And as we celebrate Memorial Day from the comfort of our computer desks, let’s do try and remember that all them nifty munitions cost money, and need to be paid fpr somehow. We can’t run the national Visa card indefinitely.
Michael Farris
I for one have never thought that Republicans hate the poor. To hate someone you have to notice them and think about them.
William Burns
So was my post.
Matthew
You’re not attacking Kevin? You called him insane!!
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Liberae sunt nostrae cogitationes – Our thoughts are free. (Cicero)