The trip to Dallas and back went off without a hitch. No accidents, no tickets (1 warning), and no missed flights on the way home. All is well.
A few quick notes-
– ATTENTION ALL SOUTHERN FOLK- Ford, Chrysler, and Chevrolet all sell something other than monster trucks and SUV’s. They are called cars. You might think they are kinda interesting- they even fit 4 whole people- they have this thing called a back seat- sorta like a bigger version of an extended cab, if you will. I know some of your women were a touch on the hefty size- but other than your dates, I didn’t see you hauling anything to justify the 9 million Dodge Power Ram 950000 monster trucks I saw on the road.
– The life expectancy of a Tennessee State Trooper has to be shorter than that of a D-Day infantryman at Omaha beach. All of I-40 west is named in memory of a trooper- which could explain why there were none on the road issuing tickets. I drove 85 miles an hour the whole way from Nashville to Memphis, and people were passing me like I was going 40. Amazing- so much for the ‘law and order’ South.
– I learned that in the south, the four food groups are barbecued, deep-fried, breaded, and dessert.
– I stopped in Hope, Arkansas, birthplace of the Big Me, aka Billy Jeff. If Arkansas is their vision for the whole country, the Clintons must be defeated at all costs. There was a spectacular hole in the wall BBQ joint there (The Smokehouse?), and I had the best pulled pork sandwich I have ever had.
– Dallas leads the nation in middle-aged bottle blondes with boob jobs.
– If everyone in the South would drive slower and talk FASTER, they would find their life to be much more fulfilling (one theory of mine was that they drive like hell to make up for all the lost time spent speaking at such a slow rate of speed).
– The South is hot. Damned hot.
Yeah, but see John, we know that if we’re driving fast, them northerners KNOW that means get out of the way..
Talkin’ slow.. well, we’re not sure those of you north of the “line” still understand us ::)
Hot? It’s June!!!!
Stop by in August & you’ll realize that *now* is nothing.
They have this thing called a back seat- sorta like a bigger version of an extended cab,
That’s what the Suburban is for John. Jeesh, you yanks are so thick! ;-)
I am not even sure they’ve turned the humidity on yet.
Numero uno: Texas is NOT the South. While I stand with my Southern brethren in most things, we are not Southern. We are Texans. For example, BBQ is brisket, not pulled pig.
Numero two-o: just because you saw a truck in the city doesn’t mean it is not used in rural endeavours. Some of us live in the city for business reasons, but we get the hell out on the weekends. That’s when we use the trucks. Some of us have been able to afford two vehicles, but I ain’t made it there yet. Mebbe this year.
Numero tres: you say that bit about middle-aged bottle blondes and boob jobs like it’s a bad thing. Puzzled here.
Lastly, c’mon down anytime. We love hearing how hot it is from you Yanks — especially in June.
I had brisket while I was in Texas. It was unbelievable. And I found nothing wrong with the boob jobs.
Seriuosly though- trucks/SUV’s outnumbered sedans at a 5:1 ratio. I have no problem with people driving what they want- it just seems to me more people would actually find sedans more practical and useful than did.
For the record, Bill Clinton was born in Hot Springs, AR, not Hope. But Hope sounded better to the PR folks.
Heh heh… and I just went SUV shopping. :)
I wound up going through Hope, Arkansas once thanks to some road construction. It made wonder exactly what Despair, Arkansas would look like.
Hot? its only June.
Most of those aren’t boob jobs, they just grew that way. If you doubt that, just ask them. When you wake up…