Unfortunately I am a die-hard Pirates fan. I don’t know what to say about this:
During the famed “Sausage Race” after the sixth inning, Simon swung a bat at one of the costumed participants, hitting a 19-year-old girl. She fell near the Pirates’ dugout and another participant, a 21-year-old girl, tripped over her. Both girls were sent to the stadium First Aid station and treated for scrapped knees.
Milwaukee County sheriff’s deputies reviewed tape of the incident and interrogated Simon at the stadium before transporting him in handcuffs to the Milwaukee County Jail, where he was expected to be booked and released early this morning. Simon is to appear before a district attorney this morning.
I guess having a losing record for ten years is not enough to humiliate my Buccos. Streaming Video can be found here. I really don’t know what to say, except that with the Pirates team batting average, I am surprised he hit them.
*** Update ***
I just took a trip down memory lane and looked up a bunch of quotes from probably my favorite Pirates player ever, Andy Van Slyke. He was an unbelievable defensive outfielder, funny as hell, and an all around great guy. Here are some of his best quotes:
“Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.”
“I have an Alka Seltzer bat. You know, plop plop fizz fizz. When the pitcher sees me walking up there they say, ‘Oh what a relief it is.'”
“If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn’t play. I’d find a safer way to make a living.”
“It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.”
“I’ve never even hit batting practice before a crowd (1,519 on 4-18-88) that small at Busch.”
“Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn’t bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.”
“My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can’t figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.”
“They wanted me to play third like Brooks (Robinson) so I did play like Brooks – Mel Brooks.”
“With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.”
Andy Van Slyke, on why the Pirates didn’t catch the Mets: “You can’t expect Mr. Ed to keep up with Secretariat.”
And my favorite of all time, when he was asked “If you could be anyone else for one day, who would it be?”
His response: “My wife, just to see how wonderful it is to spend the day with me.”
Goodness, I miss him.