• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

In my day, never was longer.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

SCOTUS: It’s not “bribery” unless it comes from the Bribery region of France. Otherwise, it’s merely “sparkling malfeasance”.

If you thought you’d already seen people saying the stupidest things possible on the internet, prepare yourselves.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

He really is that stupid.

We need to vote them all out and restore sane Democratic government.

I did not have this on my fuck 2025 bingo card.

People are complicated. Love is not.

Bark louder, little dog.

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

Jesus watching the most hateful people claiming to be his followers

You come for women, you’re gonna get your ass kicked.

Dear media: perhaps we ought to let Donald Trump speak for himself!

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

fuckem (in honor of the late great efgoldman)

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

You are so fucked. Still, I wish you the best of luck.

We know you aren’t a Democrat but since you seem confused let me help you.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Media / She Aims To Please

She Aims To Please

by John Cole|  August 3, 200310:00 am| 4 Comments

This post is in: Media

FacebookTweetEmail

In an effort to prove she has not yet hit rock bottom, Mo-Do wastes the priceless NY Times Op-Ed space on a stream of consciousness that flitters from a defense of gay marriage to a make-over for the top players in the Bush administration:

When it came to the president’s possibilities, he got really excited: “Cowboy boots are fine for a certain kind of saucy backyard barbecue. But wearing them as often as he does, with those big belt buckles in the shape of Texas, it seems like he’s trying too hard to prove his masculinity.

“He’s definitely on the right track with low-stress weight lifting, but if he really wants a physique for the ages, a little yoga would help uncoil that gunslinger hunch.

“His hair is too tightly clipped. It looks painted on. And he’s a huge squinter. The corner of his eyes are starting to look lined. Botox alert!

“He needs to dip into the merciful world of cosmetic products and avail himself of some kind of lip balm or gloss that helps mask the fact that he misplaced his lips somewhere.

“In open-collar shirts, he has a tiny little island of lost chest hair. It is too low to be a shaving oversight and too high to be a peripheral outgrowth of Alec Baldwin chest mat. It’s neither fish nor fowl, so he should wax it out of there.

Groan. Bill Keller, please hire ANY of the liberals down to the right in my links section to take over this hideous waste of space.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Great Joke
Next Post: Bizarro World »

Reader Interactions

4Comments

  1. 1.

    Mason

    August 3, 2003 at 10:31 am

    Michael Totten gets my vote.

  2. 2.

    Mason

    August 3, 2003 at 10:32 am

    … and I posted that before seeing the story below this one. ;)

  3. 3.

    Tman

    August 3, 2003 at 9:34 pm

    I wasted a perfectly fine three minutes reading that nitwit this morning. I would rather read Fisk. At least he’s funny.

    Tim

  4. 4.

    Chris

    August 4, 2003 at 12:25 am

    Wow, someone actually took three minutes on the New York Times?

    Ouch. Your eyes need Visine now.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - Albatrossity - Serengeti Day 2, Round 3 9
Image by Albatrossity (6/12/25)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

We did it!

We raised the 25,000 for The Civics Center, and with the external matches, that gives them $60,000 for this Spring effort!

You guys rock!

Recent Comments

  • Jay on War for Ukraine Day 1,204: Off the Looking Glass & Through the Map (Jun 13, 2025 @ 3:48am)
  • way2blue on War for Ukraine Day 1,204: Off the Looking Glass & Through the Map (Jun 13, 2025 @ 3:41am)
  • Odie Hugh Manatee on Well, This is Fucking Horrifying (Jun 13, 2025 @ 3:04am)
  • Bruce K in ATH-GR on Well, This is Fucking Horrifying (Jun 13, 2025 @ 2:59am)
  • prostratedragon on Well, This is Fucking Horrifying (Jun 13, 2025 @ 2:24am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!