She Aims To Please

In an effort to prove she has not yet hit rock bottom, Mo-Do wastes the priceless NY Times Op-Ed space on a stream of consciousness that flitters from a defense of gay marriage to a make-over for the top players in the Bush administration:

When it came to the president’s possibilities, he got really excited: “Cowboy boots are fine for a certain kind of saucy backyard barbecue. But wearing them as often as he does, with those big belt buckles in the shape of Texas, it seems like he’s trying too hard to prove his masculinity.

“He’s definitely on the right track with low-stress weight lifting, but if he really wants a physique for the ages, a little yoga would help uncoil that gunslinger hunch.

“His hair is too tightly clipped. It looks painted on. And he’s a huge squinter. The corner of his eyes are starting to look lined. Botox alert!

“He needs to dip into the merciful world of cosmetic products and avail himself of some kind of lip balm or gloss that helps mask the fact that he misplaced his lips somewhere.

“In open-collar shirts, he has a tiny little island of lost chest hair. It is too low to be a shaving oversight and too high to be a peripheral outgrowth of Alec Baldwin chest mat. It’s neither fish nor fowl, so he should wax it out of there.

Groan. Bill Keller, please hire ANY of the liberals down to the right in my links section to take over this hideous waste of space.