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You are here: Home / John F…..g Kerry

John F…..g Kerry

by John Cole|  February 12, 20041:45 pm| 45 Comments

This post is in: Democratic Stupidity

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Looks like John F. Kerry is emulating his idol, Kennedy, and his predecessor, Clinton, becuase he appears to now have his own bimbo eruptions.

Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer.

In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records showing where he was, every minute of every day for the past ten years. This shouldn’t be too hard- they expect Bush to be able to do this for a period thirty years ago.

Second, everyone on the planet must agree that he is innocent- otherwise the charge still stands, and since it is such a serious charge, we simply can not let it go. Yesterday a reporter asked the Bush/Cheney PR guy: ” Does it bother you that these questions have been raised about your candidate?” That really is all that matters- that a question has been ‘raised.’

Kerry must also provide several witnesses- people who will attest that the only person he has ever slept with since marrying Heiress #2 was in fact the Heiress. Then he has to take a lie detector test. Then maybe I will believe him slightly- but then I can start a meme that his statements were lies, the lie detector test was doctored, etc.

The Democrats want to play these games. Fine. I have put up with this faux outrage from the Dems for three years, and I have tried to be reasonable. The last two months let me realize what kind of people we are dealing with. Bring it on.

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Previous Post: « The Building of A Meme
Next Post: The Weird World of The Democrat Mind »

Reader Interactions

45Comments

  1. 1.

    Gregory Litchfield

    February 12, 2004 at 2:19 pm

    Heh. Indeed.

  2. 2.

    Rick

    February 12, 2004 at 2:54 pm

    Even if Jean Francois Kerry releases his urological records, questions will still remain.

    Cordially…

  3. 3.

    CadillaqJaq

    February 12, 2004 at 3:15 pm

    Has Tom Daschle, Senate Minority Leader made his patented TV’d appearance, frowning as he proclaims: “I’m troubled about this.”

    Then will a Republican leader parrot old House Speaker Tom Foley’s remark, “It isn’t about the truth, it’s about the gravity of the charges.”

    Aren’t politics a blast?

  4. 4.

    andrew

    February 12, 2004 at 3:41 pm

    “Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer.”

    Kerry was single at the time, asshole.

  5. 5.

    andrew

    February 12, 2004 at 3:43 pm

    Unless sex out of the bounds of marriage is a scandel this is nothing.

  6. 6.

    Guy

    February 12, 2004 at 3:49 pm

    Andrew: I missed it in the linked story. Where did you see a timeframe on the Kerry intern dalliance?

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    February 12, 2004 at 3:50 pm

    Prove he was single. I want the dates in paper. I want to know when they first mate- on paper. Surely he has credit card receipts from their dalliances. I want to know- was he single?

    Have fun with your own game.

  8. 8.

    andrew

    February 12, 2004 at 4:01 pm

    i read a Wonkette story incorrectly turns out he had sex with another woman who when he was single. My appologies.

    John don’t pretend like you are imune from partisanship. You are going into O’Reily territory with you self rightious “I don’t play the partisan game”.

  9. 9.

    mark

    February 12, 2004 at 4:19 pm

    John Kerry was single – in 1998??

  10. 10.

    Tongue Boy

    February 12, 2004 at 4:31 pm

    “Has Tom Daschle, Senate Minority Leader made his patented TV’d appearance, frowning as he proclaims: “I’m troubled about this.””

    That’s DEEPLY troubled. We must strive for absolute perfection when mocking the terminally stupid.

    “Bring it on.”

    Hate to pick nits but that should read:

    “BRING. IT. ON.”

    After all, John Effin Kerry lumberingly enunciates it that way and since he went to all the proper boarding schools to hone his skills in speaking for the common man, can we really make the case that it should be said any other way?

  11. 11.

    Ricky

    February 12, 2004 at 4:32 pm

    Prove he wasn’t married before he got married.

    That marriage certificate could’ve been a forgery (was it torn?).

    Why won’t he release all his honeymoon records? What does he have to hide?

    Where’s the tin foil?

  12. 12.

    caleb

    February 12, 2004 at 4:32 pm

    Well,

    If we are going by the Bush standard.

    Kerry would release a restaurant bill, a little torn and smugged, with a date coinciding with his single days.

    This obviously would be enough to satisfy your curiousity, no?

  13. 13.

    Jon H

    February 12, 2004 at 4:36 pm

    “I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer.”

    In 2003, the GOP adopted the Schwarzenegger policy, “Eating isn’t Cheating”.

    So you might have to go a long way before you can prove adultery by Republican standards.

  14. 14.

    John Cole

    February 12, 2004 at 4:45 pm

    Andrew- I am a fierce partisan, and have no problem admitting it. I often wonder why, particularly when I agree with Democrats on so many issues.

    However, when people on my side are assholes or unfair, I call them on it. All I have seen is ridiculousness from Demcorats regarding the Bush military story, particularly from a group of people who SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, so I am a little irritated right now.

    I don’t like it when people dig into the private lives of people- but after what Kerry did to Bush, letting his lackies distort and lie about this issue, all I can say is what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

  15. 15.

    shark

    February 12, 2004 at 6:24 pm

    Kerry is an adulterer until he proves otherwise.

    That said, the fact that he helped her leave the country is very shady. Frankly, the coverup seems shadier than the affair.

    Some questions this raises:
    1) Was there hush/extortion money paid to the “other woman”?
    2) Did she have to leave because she was carrying the Senators baby?
    3) Having this woman abroad…is this now not a possible security risk for the Senator, who is privvy to all sorts of inside knowledge?
    4) In these times of war on terror, we need a president who can focus on his job. Can Kerry be trusted to concentrate on fighting terror while cute interns are around?
    5) What does this speak of the judgment of a man – he cheats on his wife who is worth $500 million and owns their Beacon Hill home!

    All legit questions…

  16. 16.

    serro

    February 12, 2004 at 6:44 pm

    Hey, did you know John Kerry’s blog links to this blog?

  17. 17.

    CadillaqJaq

    February 12, 2004 at 6:55 pm

    TongueBoy:

    Yes-s-s-s-s! “Deeply troubled…” Thx,

    j~

  18. 18.

    Charlie T.

    February 12, 2004 at 7:32 pm

    I see conservative atttitudes towards alleged “gutter politics” have shifted slightly in the last 24 hours. Not that I would have expected anything different.

  19. 19.

    HH

    February 12, 2004 at 8:03 pm

    “Kerry would release a restaurant bill, a little torn and smugged, with a date coinciding with his single days.”

    Then Free Republic would say it was definitely not proof, then the full untorn doc would come out and they would say it meant nothing.

  20. 20.

    The Rust One

    February 12, 2004 at 9:41 pm

    That is such a lame argument! Obviously, no one has any “marriage attendance” records. We DO have military records. Mr. Bush claims he’s a tough guy war hawk, yet he barely completed training, let alone any active duty. Would you want someone to teach you a language if they had skipped most of their language classes? You’re complaining about the Democrats’ charges, yet they all seem to be substatiated. Comparing Bush’s alleged AWOL to Kerry’s alleged infidelities is just plain stupid.

  21. 21.

    HH

    February 13, 2004 at 12:46 am

    Except they’re… ahem, not substantiated. And the burden of proof’s on them.

  22. 22.

    Slartibartfast

    February 13, 2004 at 9:05 am

    “Mr. Bush claims he’s a tough guy war hawk”

    Where? When?

    “yet he barely completed training”

    If you think of “learned to fly a squirrely airplane with proficiency” as barely completing training, fine. But we’ll have to sit down and agree on an English-to-Rusty dictionary before we can discuss it further.

  23. 23.

    Chris Muir

    February 13, 2004 at 11:18 am

    John, John….

    Obviously, I’m going to have to steal blatently from your article here and draw something up in this vein.
    Sorry, it’s just too good.

    heh

  24. 24.

    Far North

    February 14, 2004 at 8:15 pm

    Kerry personal relationships and Bush’s Guard duty is like comparing apples and shotgun shells. Most poeple don’t give a rat’s turd about the sex life of Jobn Kerry, Mariah Carey, Jim Carey or Harry Cary. Nor do they care about Bush’s sex life.

    I am concerned about the details of the military career of the Commander-In-Chief. All the details. Remember, this is a guy who decked himself out in a flight uniform for his carrier landing to declare “major combat opations” over. Hell, no other president I can remember has donned a military uniform while in office. Not Kennedy, Eisenhower, Ford, Reagan, Bush I, not one of ’em.

    President photo-op, eh Bush, is the only one who had the gall to do that. I think he’s unworthy of the honor of that uniform, given what we know (and don’t know) about his military career.

  25. 25.

    Slartibartfast

    February 14, 2004 at 9:27 pm

    Jesus, Far North, do a little reading before spewing your oft-debunked crapola, ok? Even your factoids are incorrect.

  26. 26.

    Far North

    February 15, 2004 at 12:54 am

    OK, Slartibartfast, state your case. Are you contending that people do care about the sex lives? Is it the military uniform thing? What are you contending is oft-debunked. Is this from Drudge? Limbaugh. Debunk away, but give some references.

    Debunked, to me, is proven wrong with references and sources.

  27. 27.

    The Rust One

    February 15, 2004 at 2:24 am

    Startiblastfast, I like your screen name/handle/whatever-the-hell-its-called, although I don’t like your politics. Cheers.

  28. 28.

    Slartibartfast

    February 15, 2004 at 8:28 am

    “Remember, this is a guy who decked himself out in a flight uniform for his carrier landing to declare “major combat opations” over. Hell, no other president I can remember has donned a military uniform while in office. Not Kennedy, Eisenhower, Ford, Reagan, Bush I, not one of ’em.”

    That part. The premise is untrue, and the conclusion is therefore untrue.

    Rust, I like Doug Adams a great deal. But I’m not sure you know anywhere near about my politics to decide that you don’t like them. Come to think of it, the same could be said of me.

  29. 29.

    Far North

    February 15, 2004 at 4:36 pm

    Slartibartfast,
    Which president donned his military uniform while in office?

    Why is my statement not true? Because you declare it so?

  30. 30.

    Slartibartfast

    February 15, 2004 at 10:35 pm

    When did Bush don a military uniform? I hope you’re not referring to the flight suit, because it’s not a uniform. It’s a flight suit. If you’re going to do an arrested landing on a carrier, sitting in a crew seat, you’re going to wear a flight suit if you’re a janitor or the President of the United States.

    Your statement contained multiple falsehoods. Let’s handle them one at a time, shall we?

  31. 31.

    Fat Guy

    February 16, 2004 at 8:59 am

    Lets all sing the John Kerry song….Everywhere I go I’m a gigalo…lalalala!!!

    hehehe! Kerry is finnished, his girlfreind is hiding out, and her freind says this is far from over, so it looks like kerry is going to be getting a divorce soon, the hienz queen won’t stand for that. There goes kerry’s money tree… Again

  32. 32.

    Fat Guy

    February 16, 2004 at 9:05 am

    Another question for Democrats…
    Don’t you people have just ONE candidate that isn’t an idiot or a pervert? We had months of Dean Dean Dean!! turns out he’s one step away from the looney bin, now Kerry the clinton wanna-be, Whats the goods on Edwards? I wonder….
    Hey, speaking of the 08 election, have you figured out who your going to run? Or are you just going to fade into history?

  33. 33.

    Delta Yankee

    February 16, 2004 at 5:10 pm

    Far North-

    I seem to recall the media was intensely interested in some asinine infedelity allegations against Bush 41. If you think the complete military records are so vital, let’s see Kerry’s entire file. He claims to have witnessed war crimes. When? Where? His duty as an officer was to report such offenses to his military superiors. Why didn’t he? Oh, and by the way, Clinton was photographed wearing a flight suit.

  34. 34.

    bolivar

    February 17, 2004 at 8:56 am

    I for one don’t need Bush’s military records. The only record that means a damn thing is his record since 9/11 and frankly I am very glad I voted for GW and will do so again without hesitation. The fact that Kerry might or might not be a sleazy adulterer is not likely to change any minds. Their unabashed hatred for Bush will see to that. This simple minded plot to undermine the entire country will be forever on THEIR heads and they should all be ashamed…but remember ALGORE did nothing wrong and the election was stolen from him – BULLSHIT!!!

  35. 35.

    Fat Guy

    February 17, 2004 at 9:23 pm

    Thats exactly what they are doing, undermining the ENTIRE country.
    These fruits, if they succeed, will deserve the wrath they bring upon themselves. The best thing is, we the people, will be under NO OBLIGATION to defend them, every man for themselves. It will take time to restore America, but maybe the purge is what is needed

  36. 36.

    Riggs

    February 18, 2004 at 10:21 pm

    Why do the Neolibs suddenly think Kerrys war record is sooooo important? Clintons lack of military service was a point Kerry himself tried to sidestep in the 1992 election. But now Kerry is the rare liberal “war hero.”
    Sorry libs but war experience wont make you a better president…ask U.S Grant about that one. Famously succesful civil war general…total failure as president.
    Next.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Dean's World says:
    February 12, 2004 at 4:53 pm

    Bring It On (Rosemary, the Q.O.A.E.)

    My, my my. It looks like the worm has turned. Dirty trick started by Wes Clark didn’t surface in time to save his campaign, but…

  2. DiscountBlogger says:
    February 12, 2004 at 5:27 pm

    HOW KERRY CAN PROVE HIS INNOCENCE

    John Cole lays out the standard:Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer. In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records…

  3. Silent Running says:
    February 12, 2004 at 11:17 pm

    Things that make you go…what the fu…

    So, I’m looking through the SR Referrer’s log, just to see where folks are coming in from. And I spot it. Not once, but twice. So, I guess I should say, welcome, to the folks that surfed in from John…

  4. Cold Fury says:
    February 13, 2004 at 10:55 am

    More as promised

    First, let’s take a short trip through part of the blogosphere – the part of it that usually interests me…

  5. Right Wing News says:
    February 16, 2004 at 12:19 am

    Bush’s AWOL Vs. Kerry’s Adultery By John Cole

    Looks like John F. Kerry is emulating his idol, Kennedy, and his predecessor, Clinton, becuase he appears to now have

  6. Just Some Poor Schmuck says:
    February 16, 2004 at 10:13 pm

    If Bush Was AWOL, Then Kerry Had An Affair

    John F…..g Kerry Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer. In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records showing where…

  7. Daily News Brief says:
    February 16, 2004 at 11:02 pm

    Balloon Juice

    John Cole at Balloon Juice: Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer. In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records…

  8. Daily News Brief says:
    February 16, 2004 at 11:02 pm

    Balloon Juice

    John Cole at Balloon Juice: Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer. In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records…

  9. Daily News Brief says:
    February 16, 2004 at 11:40 pm

    Balloon Juice

    John Cole at Balloon Juice: Based on the evidentiary standards created by the Democrats over the Bush military records story, I hereby proclaim that Kerry is an adulterer. In order for Kerry to prove his innocence, he must, release records…

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