• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Americans barely caring about Afghanistan is so last month.

I really should read my own blog.

Do not shrug your shoulders and accept the normalization of untruths.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Whatever happens next week, the fight doesn’t end.

An almost top 10,000 blog!

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

If you are still in the GOP, you are an extremist.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Not so fun when the rabbit gets the gun, is it?

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Humorous / Captions R Us

Captions R Us

by John Cole|  June 10, 200411:16 am| 23 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

FacebookTweetEmail

What if my liberal blogroll wrote the captions for newspapers:


reaganline.jpg
Long lines of liberals wait up to five hours to view the casket of the man who killed Conservatism– Matt Yglesias

reagan3.jpg
After standing line for hours, onlookers are allowed three minutes to jeer at the corpse of the Least Popular President of the Modern Era– Atrios

reagan4.jpg
Members of the African-American communnity, who long suffered under the burden of Reagan’s unfair tax policies, continue to shoulder the burden for rich white men.– Nathan Newman

reagan6.jpg
Fueled by the media myth of Reagan’s popularity, thousands of Americans line Constitution Ave. to support a man they never really liked. – Ezra Klein

reagan7.jpg
Horrified onlookers demand full release of all Reagan documents to determine if his policies were directly related to the Abu Gharib torture scandal– Kevin Drum

reagan2.jpg
Sections were reserved for Reagan supporters within the homosexual community, but since Reagan killed them all with his indifference and his belief that homosexuals are unimportant, none were available to attend– David Brock Andrew Sullivan

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « MoDo Strikes Again
Next Post: The Tired Old Game »

Reader Interactions

23Comments

  1. 1.

    Josh P.

    June 10, 2004 at 11:55 am

    ROFLOL! So true, especially the last one.

  2. 2.

    MG2

    June 10, 2004 at 12:06 pm

    Thenm of course there is Reuters. This is real: U.S. Ripe for Reagan Nostalgia After Grim Year

  3. 3.

    kelly

    June 10, 2004 at 12:26 pm

    Nice work, John. Nice work.

  4. 4.

    shark

    June 10, 2004 at 12:32 pm

    Amazing how these unwashed and uneducated peasants who live in that useless stretch of land between New York and California (or in some horrible cases, in NY and CA) continually fail to see the wisdom being forced down their throats by the press, left and academia….

  5. 5.

    Kimmitt

    June 10, 2004 at 1:32 pm

    Oh, yeah, because the Press hated and still hates Reagan.

    Oh wait.

  6. 6.

    Rick

    June 10, 2004 at 1:56 pm

    What would Andrew Lazarus say? Oh! I hope to learn!

    Cordially…

  7. 7.

    HH

    June 10, 2004 at 3:08 pm

    Kimmitt, The bashing of Reagan in the papers has been duly noted in blog after blog. It’s TV that has been mostly positive on him because they’ve been broadcasting the funeral for a week. And even then, there’s been some attacks on him on occasion.

  8. 8.

    Ezra

    June 10, 2004 at 4:42 pm

    Gross oversimplifications? Yeah. But it was also really damn funny. Nice work, John.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    June 10, 2004 at 5:06 pm

    Thx. I am glad you saw I was just poking fun.

  10. 10.

    Kadang

    June 10, 2004 at 7:00 pm

    OK, John…

    You owe me a bottle of windex for making me spew pepsi all over my monitor.

    Toooooo Funny!

  11. 11.

    Far North

    June 11, 2004 at 3:16 am

    What significance does the number 138 have to the Reagan administration? Is it the number of times Reagan “kicked ass” on the press”. Is it the number of times Reagan “kicked ass” on the communists? How bout those godless liberals?

    Sorry, conservative sheep. It was the number of Reagan administration officials who were either investigated, indicted or convicted of criminal behavior. When you break down the Reagan administration, corruption was the dominant feature. No matter how much the conservative dominated media tries to revise history, the Reagan administration was infested with unethical and criminal behavior.

    Remember folks, facts are facts. Myth can’t erase the factual criminal behavior of the Reagan rein of corruption.

  12. 12.

    poormedicalstudent

    June 11, 2004 at 7:34 am

    far north: ‘facts’ are usually backed up with links of some sort.

  13. 13.

    Lex

    June 11, 2004 at 8:39 am

    Too funny. Nice work, John.

  14. 14.

    Ricky

    June 11, 2004 at 9:31 am

    far north,

    You can stop fighting….Reagan won.

  15. 15.

    ape

    June 11, 2004 at 12:47 pm

    Yes. And noone protested, anywhere, against a war they all agreed in.

    And Reagan beat Communism all by himself. Particularly in China. It must be true because a splodge-faced commie said something vaguely similar.

  16. 16.

    JPS

    June 11, 2004 at 1:58 pm

    Far North,

    Since facts are facts, and you seem to have a confident command of them, save me some googling:

    1) 138 out of how many? If it’s out of a few hundred, that seems quite shocking. If it’s out of a pool of 10,000, it isn’t so much.

    2) 138, compared to how many in the Ford or Carter administrations (adjusting for their single terms)?

    3) 138, compared to how many in the Clinton administration?

    Now, this–especially #3–is not meant as a So’s-Your-Old-Man defense of Reagan; I’m just asking for calibration. You cite the number alone as though it proves a remarkable level of corruption. You may be right for all I know, but the number itself doesn’t mean much to me.

  17. 17.

    Brian

    June 11, 2004 at 3:23 pm

    This fails on a number of different levels.

  18. 18.

    Hal

    June 11, 2004 at 4:30 pm

    138 indicted, 32 convicted under Reagan.

    40 for Clinton. I believe all were acquitted.

    Still searching for Carter and Ford, but I believe the number is pretty close to zero.

  19. 19.

    Far North

    June 12, 2004 at 1:05 am

    poormed…..,

    I ain’t too hot on the computer skills. Linking? Not at my level.

    I will try to research other past administrations if I get the time.

    On thing I will admit about Reagan…when those in his administration were exposed for their conduct, criminal and unethical, Reagan, on several instances, asked for their resignation or he fired them. You won’t see that with this corrupt Texan currently in the White House.

  20. 20.

    Bill Hedrick

    June 13, 2004 at 10:25 am

    Yup, Far North, that’s why George Tenet still has a job… oh wait.

  21. 21.

    ruprecht

    June 14, 2004 at 11:45 am

    138 indicted, 32 convicted under Reagan and the Soviet Union was defeated.

    40 for Clinton, all were acquitted, Bill got a blowjob.

    Its all a matter of perspective really but I think when the history books are written Reagan will come out ontop in the comparison.

  22. 22.

    LOL!

    June 18, 2004 at 4:17 pm

    Yeah, you REALLY don’t want to assess Clinton’s blowjob “in comparison” to U.S. funding and general support of “anti-communist” South American political elements that thought the Holocaust was a great idea because they believed communism (which they hated, and why we supported them) was one big “JEWISH conspiracy.”

    But let’s do it anyways:

    Number of El Salvadoran civilian dissidents, women and children were killed by the U.S.-backed Hitler-admiring regimes during the course of Clinton’s blowjob:

    Zero.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Dean's World says:
    June 10, 2004 at 10:00 pm

    Embedded Forever

    There are certain images that have embeded themselves into my brain forever. I suddenly realized today that one of those images emblazoned forever upon my…

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • Glidwrith on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Busy, Busy, Busy (Jan 27, 2023 @ 3:43pm)
  • Jim, Foolish Literalist on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Busy, Busy, Busy (Jan 27, 2023 @ 3:37pm)
  • Baud on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Busy, Busy, Busy (Jan 27, 2023 @ 3:35pm)
  • lowtechcyclist on COVID-19 Coronavirus Updates: Thursday / Friday, Jan. 26-27 (Jan 27, 2023 @ 3:35pm)
  • Kay on TGIFriday Morning Open Thread: Busy, Busy, Busy (Jan 27, 2023 @ 3:35pm)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!