Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

’Where will you hide, Roberts, the laws all being flat?’

When you’re in more danger from the IDF than from Russian shelling, that’s really bad.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

Quote tweet friends, screenshot enemies.

Hi god, it’s us. Thanks a heap, you’re having a great week and it’s only Thursday!

It is possible to do the right thing without the promise of a cookie.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires.

Insiders who complain to politico: please report to the white house office of shut the fuck up.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Let me file that under fuck it.

Republicans want to make it harder to vote and easier for them to cheat.

I really should read my own blog.

The real work of an opposition party is to hold the people in power accountable.

GOP baffled that ‘we don’t care if you die’ is not a winning slogan.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

Roe is not about choice. It is about freedom.

The desire to stay informed is directly at odds with the need to not be constantly enraged.

Museums are not America’s attic for its racist shit.

Speaker Mike Johnson is a vile traitor to the House and the Constitution.

Come on, man.

You are here: Home / Sports / Just Shoot Me

Just Shoot Me

by | 8 Comments

This post is in: 

Great:

Steelers guard Kendall Simmons has a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee and is expected to miss the rest of the season.

The injury is a major setback for the Steelers, who were hoping to avoid the injury problems that plagued them along the offensive line in 2003. But it is also a major disappointment for Simmons, who was diagnosed with adult on-set diabetes last August and never played to the same level he displayed as a rookie in 2002.

“It’s crazy man. There’s not very much I can do about it,” Simmons said. “I’m going to deal with whatever cards I’m dealt and go on.”

Simmons had a magnetic resonance imaging exam this morning that revealed a slight tear in the ligament. He said he will get a second opinion next week from Dr. James Andrews, a noted knee specialist in Birmingham, Ala., before determing he cannot play in 2004.

I want to cry.

*** Update ***

My mother is trying to kill me. I was just on the phone with her, and she said “What are we going to do without Kendrell Bell?”

I sat bolt upright and responded “What the hell happened to Bell?”

She laughed and said- “Oops. I meant Simmons.”

I didn’t know you could break into cold sweats that fast. Thank goodness for 81 mg aspirin.

Reader Interactions

8Comments

  1. 1.

    sisyphus

    Hey John, you doofus,

    Don’t you know the Steeler’s never had a chance for the playoffs anyway? If they made it into the playoffs, a superior AFC team would have kicked their arse. And if they made it to the big game, then of course they would cower in the face of the Patriot Juggernaut.

    But hey, a good conservative like yourself must have access to many manly firearms. Please feel free to just shoot yourself.

  2. 2.

    sisyphus

    Oops, I just realized the Steelers ARE in the AFC. You must excuse me for forgetting they aren’t the weaker of the 2 divisions.

  6. 6.

    jeff

    If it’s any consolation, John, a lot of preseason college mags have your Moutaineers ranked pretty high.

    At least you’ll win the “Backyard Brawl”.

  7. 7.

    Ralph Gizzip

    As a Browns fan all I’ve got to say is …

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that’s directed at you, not Kendall Simmons)

Comments are closed.