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You are here: Home / Politics / With Friends Like These

With Friends Like These

by John Cole|  September 16, 20047:23 pm| 13 Comments

This post is in: Politics

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I guess websites like this are what they are talking about when they say Kerry’s core supporters are soft:

John Kerry Is A Douche Bag But Im Voting For Him Anyway.Com

It almost goes without saying that there are a few things wrong with this country right now. There is one thing in particular, though, that seems to be the root of all of these problems. I’ll give you a hint: it starts with a ‘G’, and ends with an ‘eorge W. Bush’. Did you figure it out? Millions of Americans already have.

This, of course, brings us sharply to a point: we need new leadership in this country, and we need it badly. I am not one who is known to meddle in politics, or, in all honesty, prior to this election year, vote. However, I feel so strongly that the fate of this great nation, and indeed even the modern world as we know it, hinges solely on this election, that I felt compelled to put my thoughts to word. And those thoughts are…

John Kerry is a douchebag, but I’m voting for him anyway. Well, not really. That is to say, he’s not actually a douchebag, or not nearly as much of one as what the media, George W., and even perhaps John Kerry himself have made him out to be. It seemed that every time I saw, heard, or read something about Kerry, his doucheness factor increased. It wasn’t until I did just a little research on my own that it became clear that most of these occurrences could be explained as lies, deception, media excess, or simply poor campaigning strategy. It is beyond vital that we all overlook these minor blemishes and unpleasantries, and unite in electing John Kerry to be the next president of the United States of America.

Heh.

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Reader Interactions

13Comments

  1. 1.

    Russ

    September 16, 2004 at 9:03 pm

    Kind of reminds me of the “hold my nose and vote” tracking being done at Minion.

  2. 2.

    Uncle Mikey

    September 16, 2004 at 9:49 pm

    This doesn’t seem all that much dumber than Kerry’s actual campaign.

  3. 3.

    Justin O.

    September 16, 2004 at 10:57 pm

    It doesn’t matter who John Kerry is, as long as he ain’t Bush.

  4. 4.

    Oliver

    September 16, 2004 at 11:33 pm

    Then again, he wants to vote for a douche bag, rather than your candidate.

  5. 5.

    Justin O.

    September 17, 2004 at 12:02 am

    If Kerry’s a douchebag, what’s Bush?

  6. 6.

    bone

    September 17, 2004 at 1:25 am

    John Cole, on the razor’s edge of things that other people saw months ago!

  7. 7.

    None

    September 17, 2004 at 1:26 am

    “If Kerry’s a douchebag, what’s Bush?”

    A scumbag, used.

  8. 8.

    John Cole

    September 17, 2004 at 3:55 am

    I had never seen it. Shrug.

  9. 9.

    Toren

    September 17, 2004 at 12:35 pm

    I can’t wait to see what the bug-eyed crowd like Oliver write in the days following Bush’s landslide re-election. This is going to be real entertainment.

  10. 10.

    charles austin

    September 17, 2004 at 1:31 pm

    Now I know why John Kerry’s campaign is so lame, look at the people he’s trying to court.

  11. 11.

    Eric Pobirs

    September 17, 2004 at 9:14 pm

    If it requires such desparate rationalization to vote for Kerry, isn’t it really a plain indication you need to reassess your dislike of Bush.

    These guys should just do everyone a favor and vote for Nader. That way they can vote against Bush achieve the best result.

  12. 12.

    kjo

    September 18, 2004 at 1:43 pm

    I’ve been a Democrat most of my life, voted for Bush last time and will again. The Dems just don’t know who they are anymore. It’s not really Kerry’s fault. He’s kind of typical. Hates the war but supports it but won’t fund it. What kind of stand is that? The Dems MUST rid themselves of the Michael Moores and other assorted wack jobs and try and relearn what the middle class is actually thinking. I don’t know how they are gonna do it. But they have been on the wrong track since McGovern.

  13. 13.

    Justin Ogren

    September 19, 2004 at 1:29 pm

    Go on the bus and talk to some people and see what the poor people are thinking……

    Even talk to most middle class…..they dislike Bush with a reason, and it’s not unfounded either.

    Think of what we tell the kids in school……you think having them believe war is ok? Is any war ok? Could this war have been avoided? Absolutely, because if it’s about removing one man, well hmmmmm lets start right now…cuz we got Iran, Syria and North Korea in the eye? Why don’t we start a war every couple of years, and ‘liberate’ some more countries, YEE-HAW.

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