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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Beats Me…

Beats Me…

by John Cole|  April 25, 20056:41 pm| 26 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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Not much to say today, but I would appreciate it if someone would explain to me what ‘non-genital’ sex is.

Have I been missing out on something all these years?

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Next Post: The Right Response »

Reader Interactions

26Comments

  1. 1.

    Axien

    April 25, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    At a guess, anything that doesn’t involve penitration? If that’s not it, I have no clue.

  2. 2.

    timekeeper

    April 25, 2005 at 7:52 pm

    I think he is referring to any sexual act that does not include the genitals of both participants. Article 125 of the UCMJ reads:

  3. 3.

    sidereal

    April 25, 2005 at 7:59 pm

    Dunno, but that entry about punctuation order you’re linking to sure is anal.

  4. 4.

    Quiddity

    April 25, 2005 at 9:25 pm

    Heavy petting.

  5. 5.

    aw

    April 25, 2005 at 10:58 pm

    Since when is a mouth not a sexual organ?

  6. 6.

    Shinobi

    April 25, 2005 at 11:06 pm

    Is that like Faith F*cking? http://www.absinenceonly.com

    oh… clearly not, Dur, reading is hard.

  7. 7.

    Brad R.

    April 26, 2005 at 6:18 am

    *I* know what’ll get you riled up! The Schindlers’ lawyer is now claiming that Judge Greer didn’t release the “real” abuse documents! Read the headache-inducing details here:

    http://www.lifenews.com/bio934.html

  8. 8.

    Veeshir

    April 26, 2005 at 7:10 am

    From the context, I would guess that “non-genital” sex is the kind Wonkette likes.

    They are talking about homosexuals after all.

  9. 9.

    Andrew J. Lazarus

    April 26, 2005 at 9:08 am

    Yes, John, I’m afraid you have been missing something.

  10. 10.

    Jon Henke

    April 26, 2005 at 11:33 am

    Not much to say today, but I would appreciate it if someone would explain to me what ‘non-genital’ sex is.

    Not sure, but as a guess, I’d speculate that non-genital sex is “not nearly as good”.

    That help?

  11. 11.

    M. Scott Eiland

    April 26, 2005 at 11:40 am

    Has someone been letting Bill Clinton write dictionary entries again?

  12. 12.

    Rick

    April 26, 2005 at 1:01 pm

    WTF? Is Balloon Juice becoming Ace of Spades HQ-lite, or something?

    Cordially…

  13. 13.

    Wrye

    April 26, 2005 at 1:19 pm

    Ah, euphemisms. So tempting, so unhelpful.

  14. 14.

    ppgaz

    April 26, 2005 at 1:46 pm

    For reasons I do not completely understand, and may regret later …I decided to take the question seriously. I read the cited material, and ….

    My parse of it holds that NG (acronym pun intended) Sex is activity which does not involve genital-genital, uh, stuff, between participants. At least one partner is offering up a nongenital point of contact.

    Now, to the real meaning of this, the pith, if you will: Who gives a flying nongenital f__k?

    Sorry, I think the question is begged.

  15. 15.

    John Cole

    April 26, 2005 at 1:54 pm

    Rick-

    I honestly had no idea what ‘non-gential’ sex was…

    Still not sure why they call it that, because all the definitions offered up here involve someones genitals.

  16. 16.

    CadillaqJaq

    April 26, 2005 at 2:46 pm

    I thought “non-genital” sex was a naked Barbie and Ken in the same toy box…

  17. 17.

    Rick

    April 26, 2005 at 2:57 pm

    John,

    Not that I’m wanting to know too much about this subject, but perhaps–apropos Ace of Spades HQ– it involves “squeakholes,” along with fruits, vegetables, personal massagers, and little rodents.

    Cordially…

  18. 18.

    Jon H

    April 26, 2005 at 4:52 pm

    Well, it’s a puzzlement as to what, exactly, was meant.

    Given the probable gender of the author (male) I suspect it means sex where the guy’s wingwang goes in something other than the woman’s hoo-hah.

    However, strictly speaking, an example of non-genital sex would likely include things like …

    (sensitive persons should avert their eyes here)

    ass-to-ass dildo use, or perhaps anal fisting.

    ..

    ..

    (okay, you can look again)

  19. 19.

    JG

    April 26, 2005 at 4:56 pm

    non genital sex would be Bush and Prince Abdullah holding hands while strolling through tall grass in Texas.

  20. 20.

    Rick

    April 26, 2005 at 5:11 pm

    JG,

    LOL! Or maybe Katie Couric interviews of either all-growed-up Clinton.

    Cordially…

  21. 21.

    Rick

    April 26, 2005 at 5:22 pm

    JG,

    I hope your witty remark launches a thousand bon mots on this thread, because it gives play to imagery a bit more uplifting than, say, Jon H. provided.

    Non-genital sex: mainstream media coverage of John McCain.

    C’mon, Juicers–flex those funnybones.

    Cordially…

  22. 22.

    Birkel

    April 26, 2005 at 5:30 pm

    OT-Sorry in advance.

    *****************************

    John Cole,

    Wondering if you caught the C-SPAN sit down Russert did with Scalia, O’Connor and Breyer. They discussed the rhetoric of politicians and the court system.

    I don’t think your point made out well in that discussion.

  23. 23.

    JG

    April 26, 2005 at 5:33 pm

    didn’t Bill O’reilly get sued over some non-genital sex?

  24. 24.

    Jim Anchower

    April 26, 2005 at 6:41 pm

    http://www.electablog.com/oharm.html

    Discuss.

  25. 25.

    bago

    April 26, 2005 at 10:48 pm

    non-genital sex has been outlawed! Now what will they do at the strip clubs?

  26. 26.

    Dave Munger

    April 28, 2005 at 5:11 pm

    My brain when straight to oral/anal. People have been known to “finish” from that.

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