Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty. ~Thomas Jefferson

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

So many bastards, so little time.

Polls are now a reliable indicator of what corporate Republicans want us to think.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

If you cannot answer whether trump lost the 2020 election, you are unfit for office.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

We are builders in a constant struggle with destroyers. keep building.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

People are complicated. Love is not.

The revolution will be supervised.

We’re watching the self-immolation of the leading world power on a level unprecedented in human history.

There are times when telling just part of the truth is effectively a lie.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

It’s a good piece. click on over. but then come back!!

You are here: Home / TV & Movies / Movies / What the???

What the???

by | 18 Comments

This post is in: 

I feel like I am in a wayback machine, because I think the Instapundit got confused on this one– the new movie is Episode III, not Episode II.

At any rate, I am sick and tired of people injecting politics into the damned movie series.

I am going to say something really daring and really uncool here.

I liked the Star Wars movies. All five of them. I bet I will like the new one coming out this week.

I liked Han Solo’s cheesy lines, Ray Park’s double-bladed lightsaber, Princess Leia’s bad hair, Natalie Portman’s mole, Chewbacca’s grunts, C3PO’s dry humor as the straight man, and Samuel Jackson’s purple light saber. I thought Boba Fett ruled, and we all wanted to be him when I was a kid. I know I have been insulted if you tell me I am ‘bantha fodder.’ I like the story line, the soundtrack, the over-inflated sense of cosmic importance to the whole thing, and I like that the good guys mostly win.

I liked the Star Wars board games, books and action figures when I was a kid, and I liked the two Knights of the Old Republic RPG’s as an adult. I liked Republic Commados, even if the ending pissed me off. I even like all the fan flicks- they make me laugh.

So everyone lay off Star Wars for a little bit. Lucas isn’t the source of all evil in the galaxy, even if I would like Jar Jar Binks to be killed by an Ewok that spontaneously combusted.

Star Wars has gone a long way to make my life a lot happier- much more than I can say for a lot of other Hollywood endeavors. In fact, I might just pop in the Empire Strikes Back in tonight.

So everybody just lighten up. This isn’t about Republicans or Democrats or George Bush or the United Nations. It is about millions of people like me who are going to go out and watch the last installment of a movie series that has been making them happy since they were kids.

Quit trying to spoil it.

And someone tell Prof. Bainbridge that Episode III comes before Episodes 4-6, so it is entirely possible for Obi-Wan to reject black and white logic in Episode III, and then come to embrace it later on. An encounter with Darth Vader, your former pupil, and the destruction of the Republic might just do that.

In fact, it not only ruins the story line, but enhances the innocence and purity of Luke Skywalker, who rejects the binary thinking of both his masters and the Sith. I guess it would be snide and condescending to point out that the original movie was Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Luke Skywalker was the new hope.

At this point, my uber-geek cover is blown, but I must ask- would it also be too much for me to point out to Bainbridge and others that the New Hope, in the form of Luke, was right to reject black and white logic. Do you forget who turned to his son and threw the Dark Lord to his demise? The force is weak in Prof. Bainbridge.

But anyway, I digress. Quit messing with my Star Wars, or I will have harsh words for you.

And one last thing. Bitching about bad dialog in Star Wars is like getting pissed off because Heidi Klum has a German accent. It is simply the nature of the beast.

Reader Interactions

18Comments

  1. 1.

    Stormy70

    Thank you! I refuse to read any review or stupid article that has to do with Star Wars. I want to see this movie untainted by today’s political shenanigins, or some idiot reviewer reading their political views into it. Uber geek Kevin Smith gave this a spoiler-heavy rave review, but I didn’t read past the link to it. I trust the geeks on this movie, because they love the entire premise. I have been waiting for this movie for YEARS, so quit dumping on my parade!

    John, have you read Timothy Zahn’s trilogy? Best Star Wars books out there. I made sure I didn’t schedule any appointments on Friday, because I will be with the other Rebel scum at the movies.

    My sister-in-law loves Jar Jar, and can quote most of his lines, and I make no apologies for her!

  2. 2.

    Stormy70

    Plus, Obi-Wan is much older in Episode IV, and talked about mistakes in his youth.
    Concerning all these Star Wars nipickers, I find their lack of faith…disturbing.

  4. 4.

    Randolph Fritz

    “Star Wars has gone a long way to make my life a lot happier- much more than I can say for a lot of other Hollywood endeavors.”

    I think Lucas is one of the great artists of our time, and he deserves his audience. Go John!

    “I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of the reader. I think that many confuse ‘applicability’ with ‘allegory’; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author.”–JRR Tolkien

  5. 5.

    Tman

    I agree 100% John, it’s a freaking movie, not a Joint Resolution to Congress.

    Now if we could just get Lucas to shut up long enough so we can enjoy the movie, I might actually enjoy myself at the movies twice in one month, which I believe to be a record.

    (Hitch Hikers Guide-Loved it-don’t care what you think of it.)

  6. 6.

    TJJackson

    Starwars should have ended after the second movie. Lucas lost it and brought increasingly moronic characters and concepts into the films. Death to Jar Jar and the Ewoks.

  7. 7.

    Justin Faulkner

    Isn’t it strange (and sad) that Star Wars and Star Trek are ending at almost precisely the same time? (May/June 2005)

    Now…release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy me!

  8. 8.

    Justin Faulkner

    In a very real sense, everything is political to a degree. Popular culture just has a very narrow (and negative) definition of what “politics” means.

  10. 10.

    B. Minich, PI

    I e-mailed Bainbridge with the same observation – arguing that perhaps Obi-Wan was blind to absolutism in the Jedi at his time as well. After all, he had proven blind to it in the examples Bainbridge quoted, all while telling Luke that “I was right in saying Vader killed your father, from a certain point of view.” Obi-Wan believed that the only the Sith thought in terms of absolutes, but that doesn’t make it true.

  11. 11.

    Halffasthero

    “Bitching about bad dialog in Star Wars is like getting pissed off because Heidi Klum has a German accent.”

    Good analogy!

    “I find their lack of faith…disturbing.”

    Amen.

    Back to work.

  12. 12.

    TM Lutas

    I find it very unlikely that the Star Wars franchise will end. Episodes 7-9 were in the original arc, the financial compensation for making them would be enormous. It may not be Lucas doing it but somebody is going to do them, perhaps his heirs.

  13. 13.

    anomdebus

    RE: First paragraph

    First, I.P. is quoting someone else.
    Second, I think it is arguable to say that ‘latest’ would refer to the latest released, not planned or even scheduled to be released. Or is the future the latest of them all?! :P

  14. 14.

    D. Vader

    Why would anyone worry about anything said by Obi-Wan, of all people? Sure, he may LOOK like a great Jedi Knight: brave, self-sacrificing, humble. But the other side of the coin is that Obi-Wan is an inveterate liar who simply CANNOT tell the truth if he can think of a more attractive deception. Even when he’s been turned into a disembodied spirit he continues to lie, mislead and spew deceptive half-truths to his disciple. His instinct is always to skulk in the shadows, pull strings, drop a few cryptic riddles and back down in the face of pressure.

    Why do you think his first apprentice turned against the Jedi Order? And his second began ignoring him outright. They both learned from bitter experience that Obi-wan could not be trusted.

  15. 15.

    Stormy70

    Yo, D. Is Grand Admiral Thrawn single, and could he turn me to the Dark Side on his day off?

  16. 16.

    Dinsdale Pirahna

    “At any rate, I am sick and tired of people injecting politics into the damned movie series.”

    You know what that’s called, don’t you? Wanking, spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, yanking the crank, whatever. And for all the grunting and sweating and gasping and moaning, nothing useful is conceived from it. Just a wet sticky spot in a kleenex, or the National Review. Maybe that’s why Jehovah smote Onan.

  18. 18.

    Halffasthero

    Incidentally, my favorite Star Wars was the first chapter/4th movie. I thought Liam Neeson was great. It was too bad he had to be killed but that was inevitable since it was a prequel.

    I could do without Jar Jar myself – that brought the movie down.

Comments are closed.