Balloon Juice - Sports Mania

These findings don’t surprise me at all:

– When given three choices to describe how close they feel to their favorite sports team (1- not close, 2-close, but can survive without them, 3- very close), 75% of respondents claimed they had a very close emotional relationship.

– 92% of respondents claimed they are stressed/nervous when watching their favorite sports team play a critical game.

– 75% of respondents claimed they become angry/irritable after their favorite sports team loses a critical game. 63% claim they have been depressed or have cried after their favorite team lost a critical game.

– 21% of respondents claimed they have gotten into a verbal altercation with someone who taunted them after their favorite team lost a critical game.

– 93% of respondents claimed they feel a friendly connection with other fans of their favorite team. Only 21% of respondents claim they are more likely to befriend a person knowing he is found of a team they root for.

I personally think Browns fans suffer from a genetic defect, and have been known to cross the street to avoid someone wearing Browns gear, so as to make sure I am not tempted to say something rude.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

T R E 4 5 O N

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

In my day, never was longer.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Peak wingnut was a lie.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

They fucked up the fucking up of the fuckup!

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

The party of Reagan has become the party of Putin.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Since when do we limit our critiques to things we could do better ourselves?

This fight is for everything.

I did not have telepathic declassification on my 2022 bingo card.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

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