I am babysitting my sister’s pets while she is on the river, and they are driving me insane.
Sid, my sister’s 20+ pound polydactyl cat is so damned big, he misses the damn litter box and leaves presents the size of cow patties all over the place. Plus, he is just mean, so he attacked my sister’s lame old beagle/lab, Irie, so much that Irie wet the living room floor.
Meanwhile, the excitement got my cat, Tunch, so worked up that he spazzed out when I tried to print some documents I have to have proof-read and type-set by Tuesday morning. He attacked the printer, and slit my hand from finger to palm when I tried to stop him, and it caused a piece of paper to get irretrievably jammed in my expensive printer.
In other words, there is hair everywhere, shit in the kitchen pantry, urine in the living room, blood all over the place in the office, and a piece of paper jammed in my $600 printer, and I can’t get my work done. Not that I can type without re-opening my damned cut.
This all happened within thelast ten minutes, and none of them realize how damned irritating they are.
I am going to start drinking. Or punting animals.
*** Update ***
I just *found*, by way of bare foot, more urine in the hallway.
Until early 2002, I had owned cats for my entire life. But when Cleo died at 16 years, I opted to go without a pet. Though I do miss having one in some ways, in other I’m just happy to not have the hassle.
Methinks that if you found a hamster ball big enough for your sister’s cat, problem solved.
Cats will definitely teach you humility. Our four furballs piss me off on a daily basis.
That’s why I go out late at night with a flashlight looking for the one that is overdue coming in for the day.
when in doubt….punt.
You poor, dear man. You get brownie points for babysitting. Some advice:
If your place is big enough, put the cats in separate rooms, with water and food and litter pan, and keep the doors closed. Give them toys (if you have any). If your place isn’t big enough, just put Mr. Missed-It in a separate room.
Put thick pads of newspaper or other cheap covering on the floor near Mr. Missed-It’s litter pan.
I nominate you for brownie points, too.
Jeeze, without bad luck you’d have no luck at all! Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.
May tomorrow be peaceful, serene, and puddleless.
P.S. I think you need a bigger box for the big kitty. He’s probably deeply ashamed that his large girth causes him to miss the box and crap on the floor. His shame makes not play well with others and be mean to the dog.
Very good point, Shawn; I didn’t think of that. John, try Shawn’s idea. You can get really huge litter pans at PetCo or PetSmart – they’re actually meant for dogs, so they’re amazingly capacious for a cat.
And, if it makes you feel any better, Sid and Irie are probably freaking out at least as much as you and Tunch. They’re in a strange place – no familiar smells or places – with a strange cat who hates them, Mom’s gone… and there’s some wierd guy who keeps screaming :)
Good luck John…I love animals but you are a better man then me by putting up with those animals. Hope the wound heals quick.
Bigger litterbox for bigger cat, plus rip up any carpeting around the thing and lay down tile. Then put down easily removed slick mats because you know that chunkbucket is going to bomb the surrounding territory.
“there is hair everywhere, shit in the kitchen pantry, urine in the living room, blood all over the place and a piece of paper jammed in my $600 printer…”
Now that is way funny…
Sounds like the lyrics from the New Mainstreet Singers. Or maybe the Folksman.
PS. I just saw “A Mighty Wind”.