Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

This really is a full service blog.

The revolution will be supervised.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Let there be snark.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

When someone says they “love freedom”, rest assured they don’t mean yours.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

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Reader Interactions

11Comments

  1. 1.

    TallDave

    Hehe, those college news services are a gold mine of unintentional humor.

    I once got one from my alma mater about a trip to a park on Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive that said “LSD Trip Promises Unique Experience.”

  3. 3.

    Cyrus

    I saw a book once of accidentally hilarious headlines, but unfortunately I’ve never been able to find the same thing online. Probably my favorite: “Bishop defrocks gay priest.” Second best: a photo caption talking about Johnny Cash and his wife, but it’s under a picture of Johnny Cash and a horse.

  4. 4.

    kenB

    I saw a book once of accidentally hilarious headlines,

    Sounds like “Red Tape Holds Up Bridge”, by Jay Leno (he had (has?) a regular bit on funny headlines). Here’s one site (among many) that has a bunch, probably taken from that book.

  9. 9.

    jobiuspublius

    New FEMA Chief
    Paulison Is Skilled at Disasters

    By Spencer S. Hsu and Christopher Lee
    Washington Post Staff Writers
    Tuesday, September 13, 2005; Page A12

    R. David Paulison, appointed yesterday as acting director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, has encountered disaster before: three months before Hurricane Andrew laid waste to part of South Florida in 1992, he became chief of the Miami-Dade Fire Rescue Department.

    …

  11. 11.

    jobiuspublius

    …

    Brown, Chertoff and Bush were not prepared for this foreseen tragedy, but FEMA’s lack of readiness was predicted. By Witt, it turns out. In March 2004, he testified at a hearing conducted by two House subcommittees.

    …

    In an effort to build other Directorates within DHS that need more help, vital pieces of the Emergency Preparedness and Response Directorate–FEMA–are being moved or underfunded to prop up these other very critical areas. Programs–like the very successful Fire Grants–are being moved out of FEMA. And the Emergency Management Performance Grants (EMPG) which provide the backbone to our emergency management systems are being cut and significantly restructured in a very detrimental way. In fact some estimates suggest that the 25-percent cap on personnel costs within the EMPG could result in more than half of the country’s 4,000-plus emergency managers losing their jobs. By throwing all of these disparate pieces together in the DHS stew, we have not only diluted the concentration on some of the most critical parts of our counterterrorism efforts, but we are allowing scarce resources to be directed away from consequence management. Our Nation’s emergency management system has often been held up as an international model; however, this country’s well-oiled emergency management infrastructure–that has been built over many years–is now in great jeopardy as DHS attempts to build capabilities in other areas of the Department.

    …

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