• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Today’s gop: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

Humiliatingly small and eclipsed by the derision of millions.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

Take hopelessness and turn it into resilience.

There are a lot more evil idiots than evil geniuses.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

I’ve spoken to my cat about this, but it doesn’t seem to do any good.

You passed on an opportunity to be offended? What are you even doing here?

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

He really is that stupid.

We will not go quietly into the night; we will not vanish without a fight.

Republicans got rid of McCarthy. Democrats chose not to save him.

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

The revolution will be supervised.

We will not go back.

America is going up in flames. The NYTimes fawns over MAGA celebrities. No longer a real newspaper.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

Baby steps, because the Republican Party is full of angry babies.

Giving up is unforgivable.

We are aware of all internet traditions.

Mobile Menu

  • 4 Directions VA 2025 Raffle
  • 2025 Activism
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Speaking of Fools

Speaking of Fools

by John Cole|  September 30, 20052:36 pm| 22 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

Fresh on the heels of ironing lemon pledge into a bunch of shirts, I just accidentally sprinkled Arm & Hammer kitty litter deodorizer all over the floor thinking it was carpet and room deodorizer.

Fabulous. I hope there isn’t much difference between the two, as they are both baking soda based.

I really need to start reading labels.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Another Fool
Next Post: Worst Headline Ever and Friday Catblogging »

Reader Interactions

22Comments

  1. 1.

    srv

    September 30, 2005 at 2:42 pm

    Man, you need a woman.

  2. 2.

    Otto Man

    September 30, 2005 at 2:47 pm

    Since when did you become a clumsy, Clousteau-esque waiter?

    Say “chowder,” Frenchie! Say it…..

  3. 3.

    John Cole

    September 30, 2005 at 2:49 pm

    Man, you need a woman.

    Every time you say something like that, Amanda Marcotte cries.

  4. 4.

    Tim F

    September 30, 2005 at 2:55 pm

    If it makes you feel better I put the lid on a protein transfer gel box on backwards today so that my stupid proteins ran into the stupid buffer. In my defense some numbnuts had repaired the box so that both electrodes were red (it’s usually one red and one black), but I probably should have noticed that.

    Doesn’t it make you feel better to know that your commenters are just as much a bunch of bumbling nincompoops. Jeff Goldstein’s commenters probably win Nobels and stuff.

  5. 5.

    Boombo

    September 30, 2005 at 2:59 pm

    “Every time you say something like that, Amanda Marcotte cries.”

    That’s because she wants you. She just can’t admit it.

  6. 6.

    srv

    September 30, 2005 at 3:01 pm

    Every time you say something like that, Amanda Marcotte cries.

    I think she’d understand as a fellow feline lover. She too would be concerned you’d have a major domestic malfunction and then what would your cat do?

    You do know why you exist, right?

  7. 7.

    Dave

    September 30, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    On the subject of not reading labels closely enough, when I was putting together my lawnmower I accidentally put the oil in the gas tank. No permanent harm done though, just drained it out and filled everything correctly…although the mower smoked like hell the first few times I ran it.

  8. 8.

    RSA

    September 30, 2005 at 3:15 pm

    Jeez, John, next time you’ll be posting from the hospital, saying, “Rat poison? I thought it was granulated sugar I was putting in my coffee!”

  9. 9.

    Krista

    September 30, 2005 at 3:18 pm

    By the way, did you ever get the Lemon Pledge out of your shirts?

  10. 10.

    Ancient Purple

    September 30, 2005 at 3:31 pm

    For the love of God, John…

    Don’t buy rat poison. It looks just like the box for Skinny N Sweet… except for the skull and crossbones.

  11. 11.

    Jim Allen

    September 30, 2005 at 3:41 pm

    Must be something in the air today. I was going to take a shortcut through a darkened conference room this afternoon, and saw someone, heading in my direction, through the window next to the door. I stepped back to let him pass, and then realized it was my own reflection.

    I thought the sweater looked familiar….

  12. 12.

    Slartibartfast

    September 30, 2005 at 3:54 pm

    Sleep-deprived again, John?

  13. 13.

    rilkefan

    September 30, 2005 at 4:08 pm

    My lab’s getting a safety inspection next week. John, please pick another time to tour the linear accelerator.

  14. 14.

    ET

    September 30, 2005 at 4:30 pm

    John, John, John, John

    shakes head

  15. 15.

    Cyrus

    September 30, 2005 at 4:35 pm

    Now, see, even though I was an English major in college and haven’t done anything more complicated with computer programming than HTML tags in 5 years, stuff like this is part of why I’m such a geek, I think. Can you imagine anything more entertaining than “If it makes you feel better I put the lid on a protein transfer gel box on backwards today so that my stupid proteins ran into the stupid buffer. In my defense some numbnuts had repaired the box so that both electrodes were red (it’s usually one red and one black), but I probably should have noticed that.”?

    Or, even better, just picture the fallout (pun intended) from “John, please pick another time to tour the linear accelerator.”

    You don’t have to be an engineer to laugh at them. My job is %60 secretary-type stuff, so my mistakes are boring ones like telling my boss the caller is his friend Kyle when it’s really a Kyla from another state, or whatever her name was.

  16. 16.

    jobiuspublius

    September 30, 2005 at 4:41 pm

    Perfect! You qualify to clean up after Katrina.

  17. 17.

    TexasMike

    September 30, 2005 at 6:12 pm

    Dude

    Gotta stop drinking at lunch.

  18. 18.

    rayabacus

    September 30, 2005 at 6:22 pm

    Just a passing diagnosis. When I suffer from those inexplicable lapses it is because of AD (Alcohol Deficiency) proper doses of good liquor usually clears it up.

  19. 19.

    TallDave

    September 30, 2005 at 9:32 pm

    The really important question here is: do your cats know the difference.

    ‘Cause if not, things could ugly.

  20. 20.

    Soul

    October 3, 2005 at 5:03 pm

    Then there’s the one about an ex-boss of mine who mistakenly thought Ben-Gay was K-Y jelly! OUCH.

  21. 21.

    muddy

    October 12, 2005 at 11:45 am

    I believe both are primarily baking soda, don’t worry about it.

  22. 22.

    muddy

    October 12, 2005 at 11:46 am

    Sorry, bad reading comprehension. You already said that.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

On The Road - lashonharangue - Along the Zambezi River [2 of 2] 4
Image by lashonharangue (12/10/25)

2026 Pets of Balloon Juice Calendar

PLEASE REVIEW YOUR INFO ASAP

Recent Comments

  • YY_Sima Qian on Wednesday Night Open Thread (Dec 11, 2025 @ 4:22am)
  • JoyceH on Late Night Open Thread: Men Doing Manly Things (Dec 11, 2025 @ 4:18am)
  • Doug on War for Ukraine Day 1,385: A 20 Point Proposal Emerges (Dec 11, 2025 @ 4:11am)
  • Scout211 on Late Night Open Thread: Men Doing Manly Things (Dec 11, 2025 @ 4:11am)
  • Ramalama on Wednesday Night Open Thread (Dec 11, 2025 @ 4:09am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
On Artificial Intelligence (7-part series)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix
Rose Judson (podcast)

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Privacy Manager

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!