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You are here: Home / Open Threads / Most Disturbing Thing Ever

Most Disturbing Thing Ever

by John Cole|  October 11, 20058:02 pm| 44 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

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This is the most disturbing damned thing I have read in years (h/t Feministe).

As you read it, try to cycle through the wrong turns your life would have to take before you would

A.) Find this sexually attractive
B.) Act upon that sexual attraction
C.) Admit publicly to said attraction and subsequent action
D.) Fool yourself into thinking this was a ‘relationship.’

I keep coming back to severe drug use or serious head trauma.

I don’t even know what category to file this under.

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Reader Interactions

44Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    October 11, 2005 at 8:08 pm

    While certainly disturbing, it’s just like… whatever. I mean, if you feel the need to have sex, you can’t get a date, and lefty isn’t doing it for you, just… whatever.

    Just… don’t worry about it. Try not to think about it. Kiss your girl/boyfriend and forget about it. At the end of the day, it’s not doing any real harm so just let the shit slide.

  2. 2.

    JPS

    October 11, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    That’s the most disturbing damned thing you’ve read in years?

    You don’t read Dan Savage much, do you?

  3. 3.

    SeesThroughIt

    October 11, 2005 at 8:18 pm

    It’s the relationship part that’s weird to me. I mean, people jerk off in myriad ways–if you can imagine it, it’s probably been done. Furthermore, folks have been using blow-up dolls for years, and Real Dolls are just the latest iteration of that. It is strange, however, that people consider Real Dolls to be girlfriends.

  4. 4.

    Cassidy

    October 11, 2005 at 8:45 pm

    C’mon, you’ve been deployed. ;)

  5. 5.

    Jack Roy

    October 11, 2005 at 8:47 pm

    And don’t forget:

    E) Wilfully agree to be interviewed, photographed and profiled in a national online journal regarding the same.

  6. 6.

    Steve S

    October 11, 2005 at 9:01 pm

    I don’t know… It’s probably a more satisfying relationship than some of the girlfriends I’ve had.

  7. 7.

    srv

    October 11, 2005 at 9:10 pm

    As Adam Corolla says, “perfectly healthy, perfectly normal”

    Listen to Love Line sometime. Nothing is disturbing anymore.

  8. 8.

    ppGaz

    October 11, 2005 at 9:14 pm

    I will never be able to hear the phrase “real doll” again without thinking about this. This is not a good thing.

  9. 9.

    KC

    October 11, 2005 at 9:16 pm

    I hear you ppGgaz. Thanks for linking to that John, just what I wanted to read.

  10. 10.

    Slide

    October 11, 2005 at 9:30 pm

    perhaps being a NY cop for 20 years has made me jaded, but I’m amazed that you find this so disturbing. Gotta get me to WV some day.

  11. 11.

    DJ Any Reason

    October 11, 2005 at 10:07 pm

    She makes love just like a woman… but she breaks, just like a little girl… err, doll

  12. 12.

    BARRASSO

    October 11, 2005 at 10:11 pm

    Did you read the part about the dog breeder who wanted a dog made, I mean come on what the hell is taxadermy for?!?!

  13. 13.

    TallDave

    October 11, 2005 at 10:29 pm

    Oh, this is nothing, John. Just wait until AI and sophisticated robotics enter into the equation.

    Kurzweil also mentions the idea of FULL virtual-reality sex; silicon-neuron interfaces that are indistinguishable from real perception. You want to give it to Britney Spears and the Olsen twins at the same time? 30 FREE HOURS with AOL!

  14. 14.

    CaseyL

    October 11, 2005 at 10:40 pm

    Did anyone here see ‘Serenity’? And think about Mr. Universe when they saw that story?

  15. 15.

    Giordano

    October 11, 2005 at 11:05 pm

    I agree that this person is sad and truly disturbed. How the hell can you play a video game while wearing a tie?
    I’m sure if he doesn’t get psychological help real quick, he might really go over the deep end and start blogging in his spare time. When he starts doing that, all hope will be lost.

  16. 16.

    Doug

    October 11, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    I would have killed for one of those dolls when I was 14. That and a place to hide it from my parents.

  17. 17.

    Kimmitt

    October 11, 2005 at 11:15 pm

    Yeah, the whole video game/tie thing was bizarre.

  18. 18.

    Mr Furious

    October 11, 2005 at 11:21 pm

    Let me guess…Without looking, is this the “real doll” story?

  19. 19.

    Lauren

    October 11, 2005 at 11:34 pm

    I agree that this person is sad and truly disturbed. How the hell can you play a video game while wearing a tie?

    Did you guys not notice that his RD was holding the other video game controller?

  20. 20.

    Kimmitt

    October 11, 2005 at 11:36 pm

    Sure, but . . . a tie.

  21. 21.

    DougJ

    October 11, 2005 at 11:41 pm

    Don’t laugh, one of those dolls was just nominated for a federal judgeship. Her lack of a paper trail made her a perfect candidate.

  22. 22.

    Giordano

    October 11, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    Yes, the doll was holding the other controller. I just didn’t have the guts to suggest that she often beats him.

    It’s bad enough to get splinters in your penis when you miss the hole, but to lose at Warcraft 3 to an inanimate object is just too embarrassing.

  23. 23.

    pleonastic piranha

    October 11, 2005 at 11:46 pm

    *shrug*. it’s rather on the weird side of human fetishes, but the “most disturbing” thing? not even close. and i figure i better not link to anything i find more disturbing, or you’re gonna have a kitten. :)

  24. 24.

    DougJ

    October 12, 2005 at 12:49 am

    Truthfully, isn’t Bono playing a Rick Santorum fundraiser much more disturbing?

  25. 25.

    Rome Again

    October 12, 2005 at 1:25 am

    No, that’s not really disturbing. I actually came face to face with a webpage link once that featured dildos of Jesus, Baby Jesus and Buddha. THAT was disturbing.

  26. 26.

    rilkefan

    October 12, 2005 at 1:33 am

    Nobody here has seen David Cronenberg’s _Crash_, I take it.

  27. 27.

    Slide

    October 12, 2005 at 4:29 am

    No, that’s not really disturbing. I actually came face to face with a webpage link once that featured dildos of Jesus, Baby Jesus and Buddha. THAT was disturbing.

    I could have done without that visual.

  28. 28.

    Aaron

    October 12, 2005 at 5:14 am

    This is not sick. It’s the future. When the first Sony Pleasurbot ™ arrives on your street you will be envious.

    The only question is whether men will still interact with living women once Pleasurbots become available to the mass market.

  29. 29.

    Veeshir

    October 12, 2005 at 6:18 am

    My favorite quote was that ‘she’ is a “teddy bear with benefits”.

    That’s pretty disturbing.

  30. 30.

    Veeshir

    October 12, 2005 at 6:29 am

    I saw the trackback from the self-proclaimed “Moderate Voice” and while I rarely go there, they certainly aren’t “moderate” except in their own minds, I had to see what this “moderate” blog had to say.
    I especially liked this quote, In other words, it was exactly the approach the right says the left never takes.
    Strawman much?
    So in this one post we get right-bashing, strawmen and misrepresenting Jeff Goldstein’s post.

    A “moderate” trifecta but I prefer my lefty-boilerplate from people who admit they’re lefties.

  31. 31.

    DecidedFenceSitter

    October 12, 2005 at 7:12 am

    Interesting, I think I’m beginning to at least a generational gap.

    I’ve known about the Jesus-Crucifix-Dildo and Judas Buttplug since I was 19 (7 years ago) and it got passed around at college. Along with http://www.technicalvirgin.com. I’ve heard about RealDolls for not much later.

    Then again, I tend to run with the alternative cultured crowd, as do most of my friends, so I don’t know what “normal” 20-something culture knows or doesn’t know about the culture.

    Do I think it’s weird? Well yeah. But then again, I think only having sex in the missionary position is weird too.

    Do I think it’s wrong? Nah. They are not harming anyone, and well, who wants to be lonely. If they want to create a rich fantasy life to color up the drab existence of life, who am I to bitch? They aren’t harming me.

    Heck, I dress up in funny clothes and hit people with sticks on the weekends. We all escape from reality. Some by obsessing over sports, some with a book, or TV, or something. These people have just created a life in which they are important, and as long as they find some peace with it, what does it matter?

  32. 32.

    StupidityRules

    October 12, 2005 at 7:38 am

    Real Dolls are old news. Anyway if you can’t afford one, these are way cheaper and you can carry them around with you without being harassed.

  33. 33.

    p.lukasiak

    October 12, 2005 at 7:55 am

    geez, 33 comments on this subject and not one “salami” reference? You guys are slacking off here….

  34. 34.

    Horshu

    October 12, 2005 at 8:44 am

    That picture looks like something out of an Onion article.

  35. 35.

    Bilwick

    October 12, 2005 at 8:45 am

    If loving my life-size, realistic Bea Arthur doll is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  36. 36.

    Bob

    October 12, 2005 at 10:09 am

    The most shocking thing is that people have $3,500 to spend on one. But in a world where we have a simulated leader what is shock.

    Gotta get back to my Madden 2006.

  37. 37.

    Krista

    October 12, 2005 at 11:10 am

    If loving my life-size, realistic Bea Arthur doll is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

    That’s more disturbing than the Jesus dildo.

    Yeah, the whole Real Doll thing is odd, and a bit creepy, but if they’re not hurting anybody, and if it brings them some semblance of happiness, then c’est la vie, right?

    And John, anybody who spends as much time on the internet as you do, has SURELY seen much more disturbing things than that. I know I certainly have…my ladylike sensibilities were shocked to the core.

  38. 38.

    Nikki

    October 12, 2005 at 11:54 am

    The only question is whether men will still interact with living women once Pleasurbots become available to the mass market

    Why would they when they can interact with each other via Pleasurebots?

  39. 39.

    Jeff Altemus

    October 12, 2005 at 1:02 pm

    John,

    Well, that is weird, true. But the most disturbing thing in years? Try this on for size: Several years ago, I read about a relatively new fetish, the name of which I can’t even remember now. But I went to some sites and, lo and behold, there were pics of it. It was enough to turn my stomach. What was it?

    People getting off on women in high heels stepping on chicks—yeah, baby chickens. That’s disturbing. By comparison, love dolls are downright vanilla.

  40. 40.

    Krista

    October 12, 2005 at 3:06 pm

    Jeff Altemus – And the audience loses a little bit more innocence. That’s appalling. I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to how people get their jollies, but when it involves hurting an innocent creature…that’s when it’s time to seek professional help.

  41. 41.

    Lauren

    October 12, 2005 at 8:03 pm

    $3,500? Try $6500. You can add a penis for a mere $500 on top of that.

  42. 42.

    Mike

    October 12, 2005 at 8:08 pm

    “Aaron Says:
    This is not sick. It’s the future. When the first Sony Pleasurbot™ arrives on your street you will be envious.

    The only question is whether men will still interact with living women once Pleasurbots become available to the mass market.”

    Nah.
    As long as it comes with an “ANNOY/NAG” Switch for if you actually at times miss the real thing, what’s the point?

  43. 43.

    Krista

    October 12, 2005 at 9:24 pm

    Mike – Ah yes, the “annoying nag” gambit. It works really well during an argument, too. Nothing makes a woman see reason like being called a nag, when she’s asked you for the fortieth time to place your dirty laundry in the hamper, as opposed to 3 feet away from it. For extra loving, try doing it when she’s had a hard day at work, or has had a fight with her sister.

Comments are closed.

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  1. The Moderate Voice says:
    October 11, 2005 at 10:25 pm

    Veil of Ignorance

    The right-wing has loved to construct this myth of liberal blame-Americanism so they can continually bash it to pieces. They’re always on the prowl for an example–and when they find one, they’ll prop it up on a pedestal and proclaim to the world tha…

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