If this is the last post ever at Balloon Juice, it is because I defied everything I ever learned in math and statistics courses and went ahead and bought some lottery tickets for the $300+ million powerball.
So, if you never hear from me again, it is because I am on a beach somewhere in the Carribean, where my only worries are booking flights to my other beach house when hurricanes (created in part by my unending loyalty to the Republican party polcies that caused global warming) might come too close to my primary beach house.
Oh- and folks at the lottery commission- I refuse to do any press conferences. I don’t want criminals to know what my newly rich ass looks like.
*** Update ***
I didn’t win. Press conferences remain a non-existent worry.
Brad R.
Oh please. You’ll be back within a week, right after you grow bored with your new trophy wife.
Besides, I know you can’t stand to be away from ppgaz for more than a coupla days.
Krista
Tunch would be dining on the finest paté for the rest of his days…
buzz
The math says if you buy a ticket you have a chance slightly higher than zero. OTOH, not buying a ticket knocks you down to zero. What the hell, I bought two.
Dave Ruddell
Booking flights? You mean a G5 isn’t going to be among your first purchases?
Nathan Lanier
Let Tunch do the press conferences!
norbizness
Loan me $3.50!
tzs
Well, if you win, get a Javelin (two-seater jet that goes .9 Mach) and I’ll be happy to fly you wherever you want to go….
(Have been drooling over one of those little beasties ever since I saw one in a magazine. Unfortunately, the price tag is a leetle too much for my present budget…$2.1M)
rayabacus
Hey! Since you didn’t win, maybe I did.
Krista
$3.50! Goddamn Loch Ness monster!
(South Park reference, for anybody scratching their heads, and wondering what the hell I was talking about…)
Stormy70
Suckers! I won…wait, how could I have lost?! It’s rigged!
Jim Allen
Typical Republican attitude — win $300+ million and immediately head offshore with it.
Sheesh.
Krista
Hey, who wouldn’t take off if they won that much? I’d divvy my time between France, Fiji, New York, and right here at home.
Rome Again
So, I’m curious John, even though you didn’t win, what kind of powerball winner would you be? Would you take the lump sum or would you be willing to take payments for the whole 340 million?
Would you call in sick for a few days, yet keep your position; or quit your job altogether?
Would you give any money to family and friends; or keep it all for yourself?
Would you give any away to charity; or are you your own favorite charity?
Would you go on a huge shopping spree until the money was gone (most common I hear); or would you sock it away for future wellbeing?
Would you implement some kind of dream with that capital and if so what would that dream be?
Rome Again
I wouldn’t Krista, that’s who. I’d try to help the poor with 2/3rds of it, and better my lives of my husband and myself with the other third (including investing for the future).
John Cole
I wouldn’t make that decision until consulting with a team of investment brokers, tax lawyers, and accountants.
I would finish out my contract and then move on.
What is the point of being rich and lonely? Of course I would give money to friends and family.
I would probably look into starting a foundation/charity of my own.
Umm- with 340 million, I think it is safe to say I could have a huge shopping spree and still sock away a bunch for the future.
I would start a restaurant.
Krista
Well, of course…helping those less fortunate is pretty much a given. But even after using 2/3rds of it to help the poor, that still leaves you with $100 million. Even after taxes, if you just throw it in a very basic, secure investment, you’d still make enough off of it to travel wherever in heck you want, and you’d never have to touch the principal. It’s a win-win situation, really. :)
Rome Again
I do like to eat, please let me know when and where your restaurant is located (should you win) so I can try it out.
I’m glad to see the answers you chose, with the exception of a restaurant, most of your answers would be the same answers I would have chosen. I’m curious, why do you think so many people gain so much in lottery winnings and then go broke? As you said, you assumed it would be safe to say that even with a shopping spree you would have enough left over, yet, many winners end up destitute a few years later.
Personally, if I won, I wouldn’t look for the biggest and best of anything, just something nice. I don’t need a hummer or a ferrari, a nice Jeep Liberty would do me fine. I don’t need to own the biggest or most expensive house, just a nice three or four bedroom in a good neighborhood would suite me perfectly. I would like to have a 130 foot cruiser though, one day maybe I’ll have it.
My dream would be to open a homeless shelter where the residents get specialized training and help in finding a good job and buying a home.
Crank
There’s nothing irrational about buying lottery tickets. Economists who say there is, by comparing the long odds to the dollar value of the payoff, fail to take account of the substantial non-monetary value of the marginal extra dollar that lets you quit your job and retire if you win.
But you have to follow my two simple rules. One, never buy a ticket for a jackpot you couldn’t retire on. And two, never buy two tickets for the same drawing. If you break those rules, you are treating the lottery like an investment, which it is not.
Me, if I won, I’d quit my job, but I’d blog a lot more, not less.
Rome Again
Maybe it’s because my parents travelled so much and took me with them when I was a child, I don’t really feel the need to travel much. I would like to go on a ancestral homelands trip though, and search out my roots in Germany, France and England. After that, I think I’ll stay planted in one area for quite a while.
Krista
Yeah, I can see that. My parents only travelled very locally, as my mom hates to fly. So when I took my first “real” trip this year, to France, Belgium and the Netherlands, I was bitten by the travel bug…hard. I’d still have to have a home base, and would spend much of my time there, but I’d probably spend about 3-4 months out of every year seeing new places and re-visiting old favorites.
tzs
Some lottery winners (few) manage to actually do well of their winnings. Far too many do end up back where they started from. It’s amazing how much one can fritter away if one isn’t careful.
If I won the lottery….hmmm. Most major ticket would be getting a small airplane (and putting aside enough capital to support its upkeep.) Some Roman law books (expensive because you usually have to find some 17th century edition). Some $$$ to foundations I think do good work. Rest goes into investment.
Geoduck
Gotta agree with John about (not) holding a press conference. I wouldn’t even want my name released to the papers if I won that much money. I wonder how anonymous the various lottery commissions will let a big winner be..
Jim Allen
I think most lottery commissions have some small print somewhere that says the winner’s face belongs to them and can be used for advertising. I understand that some have gotten around this by creating some form of legal entity and transferring ownership to it before making the claim. That way the lawyer or other rep can show up and collect the winnings on behalf of the Balloon Juice Foundation, keeping John’s happy mug out of the papers.
Carpbasman
Well, of course…helping those less fortunate is pretty much a given. But even after using 2/3rds of it to help the poor, that still leaves you with $100 million.
Actually, no she wouldn’t have 100 million. The “300 million jackpot” is actually more like 150 million (it depends on prevailing interest rates) with which the people who run powerball will buy 30 year annuity. Most people take the cash value because over time a more comprehensive investment strategy involving more risk will yield better income on the principal than the almost no risk annuity investment (and this is pretty much what John’s hypothetical team of lawyers [you’d probably want a lawyer for things other than taxes], financial planners and accountants would tell him).
After that comes income taxes. Federal taxes will reduce the jackpot to about 90 to 100 million dollars. If you live in a state with an income tax it will be more like 70 to 80 million dollars. Not really the kind of money where it makes much sense to be buying a jet considering the cost of upkeep and storage. (though a Cessna, if you are a recreational flyer, wouldn’t be unreasonable).
Just to make it easy, using the 90 million dollar as our final figure, a third of that would be thirty million dollars. Certainly not chump change, but 100 million dollars it isn’t.
Oh, and I checked into it and you would not have to give a press conference, but the state is required by law to release your name if you win the jackpot (though they do recommend talking to the press because apparently reporters hound winners who don’t hoping to get an “exclusive” interview). So, if you have a listed number and you win the lottery, change it. Because every crackpot under the sun with a “can’t miss” investment scheme will be calling you within a week if you don’t.
James
comfy cottage in Maine, farm in Pa, villa in carribean, hinckley sou’wester 52′ for destinations between cancer and capricorn. global home-schooling for the future kiddos.
multi-various investments, family trusts for the young ones, and a family charitable foundation for altruistic and tax-advantage purposes.
modest but comfortable lifestyle in perpetuity…
(payoff or no, the opportunity to consider this one entry is worth the dollar entry fee…)
Rome Again
Yeah, but it’s still more than the 6 million my mother pissed away in less than 15 years, and the 400,000 I never got. LOL
I could do what I want to do on 30 million, I really am not asking for much.
Rome Again
I just now realized the irony of this whole conversation. While I’m sitting here talking about fantasy lotto wins, I’m in denial over the fact that a huge hurricane is supposed to come slamming directly into my hometown in about 72 hours (current models show my hometown as the most possible landfall location, CNN and the other news stations are showing storm surge animations of my hometown which would be nothing but water) and completely washing away what little I do own.
Such is life I guess.
Stormy70
Probably too late for anyone to see, but what kind of restaurant would you open?
I would be out of here so fast my head would spin. I would be at my new cabin in the mountains outside of Dubois, Wy. I would just need DSL, and marshmallows for the fire. I would bring my cats and my husband, too.
Peter ve
First: transfer ownership to a corporation in the Cayman Islands. Second: buy a Ferrari 365 GTB 4 Daytona. Third: Donate to Habitat. Fourth: Do not go into a strip joint with half a mil in cash. Doh!
Crank
The thought of a “Balloon Juice Foundation” just warms my heart.
Clearly, John, you aren’t lucky like Judd Gregg.