• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

The willow is too close to the house.

Consistently wrong since 2002

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

New McCarthy, same old McCarthyism.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Take your GOP plan out of the witness protection program.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

When do we start airlifting the women and children out of Texas?

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

I’m sure you banged some questionable people yourself.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

This fight is for everything.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Humorous / MORE CHEMICAL WEAPONS!!!!

MORE CHEMICAL WEAPONS!!!!

by John Cole|  November 24, 200510:51 am| 13 Comments

This post is in: Humorous

FacebookTweetEmail

The Confederate Yankee reports of another possible ‘chemical weapon’ being deployed by the US military in Iraq, as reported by Think Progress:

Think Progress has intercepted the following communication and warns of L-tryptophan deployment by U.S. Forces today, and called for our immediate withdrawal from both Iraq and New Orleans.

Shocking! L-Tryptophan apologists everywhere are reporting that the chemical has been in our current inventory for centuries.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « When Victims Collide
Next Post: Alias Cancelled »

Reader Interactions

13Comments

  1. 1.

    Jcricket

    November 24, 2005 at 11:19 am

    Well, it is a chemical. And I’m sure if you aerosol-ized it, you could use it as a weapon. It has caused the death of humans before. :) Oh, but it doesn’t do what people think it does (i.e. put you to sleep).

    On an related note, eating my aunt’s green-bean casserole is definitely torture under the Geneve Conventions (Article 93, Subsection 11, Paragraph 2).

    More seriously, everything is made up of chemicals. That’s why I always laugh when people describe medicines as “unnatural” or “man-made”, even if they are identical in chemical composition to the chemicals found in nature.

  2. 2.

    BumperStickerist

    November 24, 2005 at 11:25 am

    but, John, plastic turkeys don’t have L-Tryptophan.

    And, that’s what Bush served.

    Plastic Turkey.

    You could read about it on dKos.

    :)

    Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

  3. 3.

    ppGaz

    November 24, 2005 at 12:54 pm

    Well, then I’m a criminal. This weekend I’ll be making up a batch of L-Tryptophan Tetrazini to victimize my relatives.

  4. 4.

    Gray

    November 24, 2005 at 1:05 pm

    We shouldn’t come to premature conclusions about L-Tristophan. We should wait until the DoD issued a statement denying that US troops ever handled L-Tristophan. Then we’re gonna crucify them with the picture of GWB cutting that turkey during his visit of an Iraq base :)

  5. 5.

    demimondian

    November 24, 2005 at 3:36 pm

    Look, we know that none of the people worrying about L-Tryptophan are turkeys.

    Why aren’t we hearing the good things about L-tryptophan?

    L-tryptophan is a natural part of life.

  6. 6.

    Gray

    November 24, 2005 at 3:49 pm

    “L-tryptophan is a natural part of life.”

    Now that’s really total spin form the L-tryptophan apologists!
    Uranium is a natural part of life, too. Why don’t you put some 50 lbs into your cellar?

  7. 7.

    demimondian

    November 24, 2005 at 5:53 pm

    Now that’s really total spin form the L-tryptophan apologists!

    Uranium is a natural part of life, too. Why don’t you put some 50 lbs into your cellar?

    I call Godwin’s Law on this! Reductio ad absurdum! E tuo quoque! Ad hominem!

    Errr…what were we talking about, anyway?

  8. 8.

    Gray

    November 24, 2005 at 6:58 pm

    “Errr…what were we talking about, anyway?”

    Grrr. First you wanna downplay the clear and eminent danger of L-tryptowhatever and now you start asking sofishtikayted questions. But I’m up to this task: The topic was, erh, just a second, it’s on my tongue, yeah, balancing a box of wine on your belly. I’m quite good at it, actually. Personally, I prefer a bottle of wine in my hand, cause doin it John’s way it’s difficult to drink and there’s lots of stuff sipping out of the bottom of the box but we liberals are never afraid to try something new. Ha!

  9. 9.

    kl

    November 24, 2005 at 8:37 pm

    “Eating turkey makes you sleepy” is bullshit.

  10. 10.

    Sine.Qua.Non

    November 24, 2005 at 9:02 pm

    …kind of as funny as the guy that came through my neighborhood last night with a bull horn yellllingggggggggg:

    WAKE UP! WAKE UP, EVERYONE!

    IRAQ is BOMBING America! ha…ha

  11. 11.

    Sine.Qua.Non

    November 24, 2005 at 9:03 pm

    Turkeys eat Turkeys.

  12. 12.

    Hunter

    November 26, 2005 at 1:50 pm

    Ha ha ha! Oh, that’s really funny.

    Seriously, nothing is quite as great as when people make funnies over the U.S. killing large numbers of civilians. I really have to hand it to conservative humor, this one was _so_ much more witty than the “lead is a chemical”, or “water is a chemical”, or “pie is a chemical”, or any of the other really hilarious posts that make this into a funny joke!

    Of course, we could argue whether “eight hundred” is a large number of civilian casualties in one assault, and if the United States should bear criticism for conducting assaults that have a 1:1 or 3:2 ratio of insurgent-to-civilian deaths, or what the f–k these people died from, if it wasn’t the stuff raining on their heads — hey, maybe an advanced state of decomposition just spontaneously erupted on thousands of healthy people! You know, like during a Pat Robertson telethon!

    Or, what the hell, let’s all watch some dumbass redneck make farty jokes instead. Yay America! Conservatives are 733t!

    Sheesh. I can see there’s no point to this anymore. Fine, so be it.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. The Politburo Diktat » Blog Archive » Thanksgiving Day - Funny in the Pants says:
    November 24, 2005 at 10:01 pm

    […] Americans using more chemical weapons – The dreaded L-T bomb. […]

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • cain on Well-Earned Schadenfreude Open Thread: C U Next Tuesday, Fer Realz (Apr 1, 2023 @ 12:41am)
  • cain on Well-Earned Schadenfreude Open Thread: C U Next Tuesday, Fer Realz (Apr 1, 2023 @ 12:37am)
  • Ruckus on War for Ukraine Day 401: The Bucha Summit (Apr 1, 2023 @ 12:32am)
  • patrick II on Well-Earned Schadenfreude Open Thread: C U Next Tuesday, Fer Realz (Apr 1, 2023 @ 12:27am)
  • Dangerman on Well-Earned Schadenfreude Open Thread: C U Next Tuesday, Fer Realz (Apr 1, 2023 @ 12:24am)

Balloon Juice Meetups!

All Meetups
Seattle Meetup coming up on April 4!

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Classified Documents: A Primer
State & Local Elections Discussion

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!