So one day, you are just lying somewhere in abject poverty with a very grim future in some backwoods third-world (excuse me, “less developed”) country, and out of nowhere swoops Angelina Jolie, who picks you up and whisks you off to Hollywood to live a life of luxury. Some might say that was a touch lucky.
It just got better. Brad Pitt wants to be your daddy.
cd6
That only happens if you are in poverty and adorable
J. Michael Neal
In this scenario, would an Oedipus complex be understandable?
dan
J.-
Not just understandable, but probably unavoidable.
Jackmormon
Jolie-Pitt is an unfortunate last name.
Krista
The child’s name will be Zaharah Pitt. She’ll have to be rich to get past that.
DougJ
Let’s just hope that Brad doesn’t let his good buddy Sean Penn drag these poor kids along when he goes out “rescuing” disaster victims. What Whacko Penno did in New Orleans was truly a disgrace.
Krista
Exactly, Doug. He hurt FEMA’s morale, which is why they performed so poorly. If only people would learn to keep their mouths shut about the U.S’s non-existent failures, then everything would be peachy keen.
demimondian
Krista, we don’t talk about non-existent failures. We need to spend more time talking about the United States’ successes.
And sneering at cheese eating surrender monkeys.
But nobody could have foreseen that the successes have failed. Meanwhile, we’re doing a heckuva job!
Brian J.
Excellent financial planning on Jolie’s part. When they inevitably divorce or move on, he’s on the hook for maintaining the waif’s exhorbitant lifestyle.
Mike
Yes we should only talk about failures.
THAT’LL teach our kids to have hope and take pride in their country.
Silly little bastards.
As for having Hollywood parents?
Hmmm, trading poverty for a lifetime of psychiatric care and living among blithering idiots? Tough choice. I think I’d take the poverty.
DougJ
I hate to be cynical, but those kids will all be in rehab by age fifteen.
BIRDZILLA
I wouldnt ever go to hollywood i would,nt fit in im too conservative i fit in more with old hollywood of the past
The Disenfranchised Voter
Who would be considered conservative according to our times. In their times they were considered “liberal”.
Get a clue jackass.
Gray
Hmm, so what? This is the second time you raise this topic. What’s your point? You’re against adoption? You don’t like Brad Pitt? You don’t like Angelina Jolie? What is it, John?
The Captain of the O
I don’t like Brad Pitt purely because he’s banging Angelina Jolie and I’m not.
Gray
Hehehe, now this is an honest opinion! I wonder if John feels the same :P
Anderson
And the best part is, you can have sex with your parents and it isn’t even incest!
Okay, it’s still pretty gross.
Faux News
“And sneering at cheese eating surrender monkeys”
Demimondian:
Please refer to your Faux News handbook for blogging:
Chapter 3 paragraph 5: “Liberal Elites do not merely eat cheese. They eat FRENCH Brie! You may also use a homosexual innuendo when making this posting if you wish”
Thank you!
Krista
Most neocons aren’t good at sneering. Sneering requires a certain amount of subtlety and cleverness. The necons are way too ham-handed to effectively sneer. They are quite good at disparagement, reviling and condemning, however.
Kimmitt
I’d be surprised, in all honesty. Pitt seems level-headed.
BIRDZILLA
JOHNNY DEPP is the worse person they could pick to do a kids movie he made a rotten WILLIE WOKNA becuase GENE WILDER did it better