• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

… looking like a winsome Bee Gee who has stumbled into teaching geography

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

“That’s what the insurrection act is for!”

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

Republicans are the party of chaos and catastrophe.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

If you’re pissed about Biden’s speech, he was talking about you.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Teach a man to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Russian mouthpiece, go fuck yourself.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

And so it is for the politically and morally bankrupt Kevin McCarthy.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

When do the post office & the dmv weigh in on the wuhan virus?

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

I’d try pessimism, but it probably wouldn’t work.

Bark louder, little dog.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

Mobile Menu

  • Four Directions Montana
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Politics / Media / Someone Start a Media Campaign Fast Before We all Catch the “Gay”

Someone Start a Media Campaign Fast Before We all Catch the “Gay”

by John Cole|  December 14, 20055:24 pm| 58 Comments

This post is in: Media, General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

It looks like Cliff Kincaid over at Accuracy in Media is trying to give Neil “Muleback Mountain” Horsley a run for his money in the stupidest quotes contest for 2005. What, you might ask, is bothering our heroes at AIM? Anti-Bush bias? The liberal media? Janet Jackson’s nipple?

Nope. The dearth of anti-homosexual lifestyle campaigns in the media:

Have you noticed that many news organizations, in honor of former ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings, have embarked on a quit smoking campaign? So why don’t our media launch a campaign advising people to quit engaging in the dangerous and addictive homosexual lifestyle? Life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases among homosexuals are on the increase.

***

That’s performing a good public service. But let’s take this humanitarian impulse one step further. We would suggest that ABC News take on another dangerous practice—homosexuality. The latest reports indicate a rising pattern of sexually transmitted diseases nationwide. The 2005 estimate for syphilis cases is the highest in a decade, and the number of gonorrhea cases will exceed any other year’s count since 1993. Federal officials attribute the increases mostly to HIV-positive homosexual men having sex with one another. The practice is called “serosorting.”

The practice shows the dangerous and addictive nature of the homosexual lifestyle. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the homosexual men are HIV-positive, they simply cannot stop having sex with other men. So they are still having sex, this time with other HIV-positive men. They think this is “responsible” sex. But they are increasing their risk of acquiring other sexually transmitted infections, including new resistant strains of HIV.

It appears that the homosexual lifestyle is as addictive as smoking.

I hope Cliff and his buddies act fast, because although I have been interested in women my entire life, without quick action by the media in the form of an anti-gay lifestyle campaign, I might catch a nasty and deadly case of the “gay.” Last night I almost watched an old episode of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” but thankfully came to my senses and decided to watch the much more heterosexual “Boston Legal.” But for fate, I might have started to get addicted to the gay lifestyle.

You can’t make this shit up.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Yet Another Plame Update
Next Post: This Is Cool »

Reader Interactions

58Comments

  1. 1.

    Pb

    December 14, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    Don’t kid yourself–“Boston Legal” isn’t that much more heterosexual. :)

  2. 2.

    Geek, Esq.

    December 14, 2005 at 5:29 pm

    Just wait until Brokeback Mountain opens in a theater near him.

    Or when it wins the Oscar!

  3. 3.

    John Cole

    December 14, 2005 at 5:29 pm

    Don’t kid yourself—”Boston Legal” isn’t that much more heterosexual

    .

    Shit- maybe I already have the gay!

  4. 4.

    Shygetz

    December 14, 2005 at 5:34 pm

    Ok, sorry, can’t resist channelling DougJ here…

    Why doesn’t anyone ever mention the GOOD things that gay bashing brings us?

  5. 5.

    Lines

    December 14, 2005 at 5:35 pm

    Why, just the other day I caught myself exclaiming “fabulous” and “you look good enough to eat sweetheart!”

    I have tried washing my hands with liquid ammonia, but I just think I’ve come down with the gay.

    Maybe Pastor Swank can pray some of the gay out of me.

  6. 6.

    Lines

    December 14, 2005 at 5:37 pm

    Its just another example of the intolerance of intolerance. Why can’t those of you that claim you are so damn “tolerant” be more tolerant of those that are intolerant to the homosexual’s in life?

    Havn’t we turned the corner on intolerance of intolerance?

  7. 7.

    Lines

    December 14, 2005 at 5:47 pm

    I was against tolerance before I was for tolerance.

  8. 8.

    Call me insane

    December 14, 2005 at 5:49 pm

    Is there anyway to treat the gay? I’m really scared. This is just down right laughable. I love it. Remind me again who is against torture here? In the case of this guy, I’m all for it.

  9. 9.

    Stormy70

    December 14, 2005 at 5:56 pm

    Then you better steer clear of Project Runway, as they do bring the gay.

    Brokeback Mountain just looks like a stupid chick flick/obvious Oscar bait movie. It seems too earnest, which usually means BORING. It is no Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Now, that was a good movie.

  10. 10.

    Marcus Wellby

    December 14, 2005 at 5:56 pm

    Does being sick of hearing about this movie make me homophobic? What about thinking Will and Grace is completely overrated?

    Seems to me, you want a good review, make sure you have a gay theme — has anyone seen Rent? Good god, how an awful show like that got made into a movie I will never know.

  11. 11.

    Lines

    December 14, 2005 at 5:58 pm

    Speaking of the gay, it appears that those with the infection won a major battle to be included in massive advertising campaigns: America Blog

    And I think its just fabulous!

  12. 12.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:01 pm

    I like the men…oh shit, I’M gay!

  13. 13.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:02 pm

    By the way, this gets my nomination for “Best Thread Title of the Year.”

  14. 14.

    Marcus Wellby

    December 14, 2005 at 6:06 pm

    Is this Cliff Kinkaid guy any relation to band manager Reuben Kinkaid?

  15. 15.

    Steve

    December 14, 2005 at 6:10 pm

    The heterosexual lifestyle is pretty addictive too, and it can lead not only to disease but also to child support payments!

  16. 16.

    Mac Buckets

    December 14, 2005 at 6:12 pm

    Where do you go to treat a Gay Addiction? The Tom Ford clinic?

    What, no rimshot? Too obscure?

  17. 17.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:15 pm

    Where do you go to treat a Gay Addiction? The Tom Ford clinic?

    LOL

  18. 18.

    Geek, Esq.

    December 14, 2005 at 6:15 pm

    Brokeback Mountain just looks like a stupid chick flick/obvious Oscar bait movie. It seems too earnest, which usually means BORING.

    Best film I’ve seen since 2003.

  19. 19.

    Mac Buckets

    December 14, 2005 at 6:17 pm

    You’re a woman of fine taste, K.

  20. 20.

    Mike in SLO

    December 14, 2005 at 6:21 pm

    Hey, is there any chance I can catch the “straight”? It would make my life a helluva lot easier if I could just get a case of the “straights” and end my decadent gay lifestyle. Ya think if I hang our at Hooters I could get infected???

    BTW, my gay partner and I can attest to the addictiveness of the homosexual lifestyle: After 7 years together we’re just your average couple…we haven’t had sex in over a year! Maybe we could catch the “gay” and put some excitement back into our lives!

  21. 21.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:21 pm

    You don’t know the half of it, honeybunch… ;)

  22. 22.

    Ancient Purple

    December 14, 2005 at 6:22 pm

    I am dying to see this film. Not only because my friends in NYC and L.A. have said the film is fantastic, but also because I can’t wait to see guys in the audience squirm when the two guys have a very passionate kiss.

    Always good for some comic relief.

  23. 23.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:23 pm

    I can’t wait to see guys in the audience squirm when the two guys have a very passionate kiss.

    Or my version:

    I can’t wait to see guys in the audience squirm when the two guys have a very passionate kiss.

  24. 24.

    Drew

    December 14, 2005 at 6:25 pm

    “Seems to me, you want a good review, make sure you have a gay theme—has anyone seen Rent?”

    Actually Rent pretty much got panned… and come to think of it, I swear i’ve seen a bunch of movies with favorable reviews that had no gay themes whatsoever. So what was your point again?

  25. 25.

    Steve S

    December 14, 2005 at 6:35 pm

    Brokeback Mountain just looks like a stupid chick flick/obvious Oscar bait movie. It seems too earnest, which usually means BORING.

    I probably will not go to see it, as the homosexual lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me. Where I differ with Republicans, is I feel no need to enforce my non-participation through legislation.

    That being said, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a good movie or entertaining for some audiences.

    BTW, I went to see King Kong. Pure unadulterated over-hyped crap. I feel sorry for Peter Jackson.

  26. 26.

    Geek, Esq.

    December 14, 2005 at 6:37 pm

    Well, if you feel sorry for Peter Jackson, remember that he’ll probably make over $100 Million from King Kong alone–not to mention what he made from the Rings films.

    Oh yeah, he has three Oscars as well.

  27. 27.

    John Cole

    December 14, 2005 at 6:40 pm

    I have zero desire to see Brokeback Mountain or King Kong.

  28. 28.

    Steve

    December 14, 2005 at 6:41 pm

    Rent is the new Cats, where it used to be a big deal, but now it’s difficult to understand who still goes to see it. Even Cats ran out of Japanese tourists to buy tickets in the end.

  29. 29.

    Ancient Purple

    December 14, 2005 at 6:41 pm

    I can’t wait to see guys in the audience squirm when the two guys have a very passionate kiss.

    Indeed, Krista, you are a woman of very good taste.

    OMG! Mac Buckets and I agree on something.

    /faint

  30. 30.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:44 pm

    Jake Gyllenhaal = yummy
    Heath Ledger = tasty

    Together, they’re better than Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

  31. 31.

    Stormy70

    December 14, 2005 at 6:48 pm

    Now Kong looks awesome and chock full of creepy crawlies and dinosaurs. I will be there.

    I think lots of people will probably enjoy Brokeback Mountain, but I do not care for the Chick Flickish Genre. Just because Heath is in it does not draw me into the theater. I can just catch any naked sreenshots on a blog, soon enough. I didnt have to see Jarhead to see Jake dancing around in a Santa Hat and a smile. No need to torture myself by watching a depressing love story, gay or straight. I may catch Memoirs of a Geisha, as I found the book to be a good read.
    All the Golden Globe movies do not really hold any appeal for me.

  32. 32.

    Krista

    December 14, 2005 at 6:49 pm

    I may catch Memoirs of a Geisha, as I found the book to be a good read.

    Tha’s the tricky thing though, that book wasn’t a good read, it was a great read. Beautiful and haunting. It’s going to be damned hard for the movie to do it justice.

  33. 33.

    RSA

    December 14, 2005 at 6:55 pm

    Jake Gyllenhaal = yummy
    Heath Ledger = tasty

    Together, they’re better than Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

    Hey, you got Gyllenhaal in my Ledger! You got Ledger on my. . .oh, never mind.

  34. 34.

    CaseyL

    December 14, 2005 at 6:55 pm

    Skinny so far on the flicks (not my opinion, since I haven’t seem any of these yet; just what I hear):

    Brokeback Mountain = very good

    Memiors of a Geisha = eh

    King Kong = major media reviewers love it. Not sure about true Movie Cognescenti.

  35. 35.

    Perry Como

    December 14, 2005 at 7:24 pm

    I have zero desire to see Brokeback Mountain or King Kong.

    Ahhh, but what if they combined the two?

  36. 36.

    JWeidner

    December 14, 2005 at 7:32 pm

    Ahhh, but what if they combined the two?

    Brokeback Kong?
    there’s something more scary than ‘the gay’ in a film like that. Sounds like something Neil Horsely could really get into.

  37. 37.

    neil

    December 14, 2005 at 7:44 pm

    No worries, John — according to the IMDb message board, the movie isn’t even being shown in West Virginia.

    The good news is, when it comes time to repopulate the Earth, you will be one of the few straight men remaining and thus will likely be very busy.

  38. 38.

    SeesThroughIt

    December 14, 2005 at 7:44 pm

    Ya think if I hang our at Hooters I could get infected???

    If you hang out at Hooters, you’ll get infected, alright. It just might not be the infection you want.

  39. 39.

    dorkafork

    December 14, 2005 at 7:56 pm

    On the internet, the correct spelling is “teh gay”

  40. 40.

    r4d20

    December 14, 2005 at 8:21 pm

    Its A-dick-tive.

    Sorry. someone had to.

  41. 41.

    Bob In Pacifica

    December 14, 2005 at 8:23 pm

    Where’s Jeff Gannon? Now that business at the White House is done, there’s a Mister Kincaid who needs someone to take dictation.

  42. 42.

    Geek, Esq.

    December 14, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    The Village Voice said that Memoirs of a Geisha seemed like someone tried to combine Raise the Red Lantern and Showgirls.

    Eeks.

  43. 43.

    DougJ

    December 14, 2005 at 8:40 pm

    The Freepers are calling that new movie “Bareback Mount Me.” I though that was funny.

  44. 44.

    Sojourner

    December 14, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    Check out Sam Seder’s take on the war on Christmas.

    http://www.crooksandliars.com/

  45. 45.

    neil

    December 14, 2005 at 8:43 pm

    I prefer my entendres single, thank you!

  46. 46.

    Steve S

    December 14, 2005 at 8:54 pm

    I honestly can’t figure out how media reviewers liked King Kong. Ok, honestly… yes it did have some good moments. It’s just so damned long, and it has like nothing to do with the Ape.

    How can you have a movie called King Kong when Kong isn’t the main character? Just don’t get it.

    I’m not sure I have a desire to Memoirs of a Geisha. Maybe. Maybe if it was naked Geishas.

  47. 47.

    CS

    December 14, 2005 at 9:32 pm

    Not to be pedantic or anything…

    …But on the Internet, it is never “catch the gay”; it is always “catch teh gay”. Please refer to your stylebook for any further clarification.

    Carry on.

  48. 48.

    Jon H

    December 14, 2005 at 10:40 pm

    I wonder how many times Cliff has tried to quit….

  49. 49.

    KC

    December 15, 2005 at 12:33 am

    Late to the party, but Hahahaha . . . that was a funny post.

  50. 50.

    DougJ

    December 15, 2005 at 12:45 am

    Last night I almost watched an old episode of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” but thankfully came to my senses and decided to watch the much more heterosexual “Boston Legal.”

    Enough lying! The lying is through! C’mon, John, the
    masquerade is over. You’re thin, late thirties, single…

  51. 51.

    Shygetz

    December 15, 2005 at 7:39 am

    Enough lying! The lying is through! C’mon, John, the
    masquerade is over. You’re thin, late thirties, single…

    And you teach at a university and own a cat!

  52. 52.

    Faux News

    December 15, 2005 at 9:18 am

    “Now Kong looks awesome and chock full of creepy crawlies and dinosaurs”.

    Darlin, I think you just described our Congress.

  53. 53.

    Krista

    December 15, 2005 at 9:39 am

    Shygetz and DougJ — here now, let’s not start rumours.

  54. 54.

    Jack Roy

    December 15, 2005 at 4:23 pm

    You can’t make this shit up.

    I beg to differ.

  55. 55.

    Soul

    December 16, 2005 at 7:04 pm

    http://incomprehensibledemoralization.blogspot.com/2005/12/awful-truth.html

  56. 56.

    NursePam

    March 19, 2006 at 6:16 pm

    It’s too late for me. But let me implore my fellow citizens who remain heterosexual to jump on the bandwagon before they too succumb to the dreaded “Gay”. Save yourselves while you can!

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Oliver Willis » Fear The Gay says:
    December 14, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    […] Cliff Kincaid of AIM alerts the citizenry to the threat of homosexuality. Stay vigilant, fellow Americans. […]

  2. Bloodless Coup says:
    December 15, 2005 at 9:43 am

    “It appears that the homosexual lifestyle is as addictive as smoking.”

    John Cole finds someone – who Cole suggests should be nominated for stupidest quotes of 2005 – who is frothing at the lack of anti-gay campaigns, as we have against smoking. Cole’s response? I hope Cliff and his buddies act…

Primary Sidebar

2024 Pet Calendars!

Order 2024 Calendars

Recent Comments

  • Gvg on Open Border, Open Thread (Dec 6, 2023 @ 5:14pm)
  • Martin on Open Border, Open Thread (Dec 6, 2023 @ 5:12pm)
  • Subsole on Open Border, Open Thread (Dec 6, 2023 @ 5:10pm)
  • schrodingers_cat on Open Border, Open Thread (Dec 6, 2023 @ 5:10pm)
  • Subsole on Open Border, Open Thread (Dec 6, 2023 @ 5:10pm)

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Fundraising 2023-24

Wis*Dems Supreme Court + SD-8
Virginia House Races
Four Directions: Montana

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
What Has Biden Done for You Lately?

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Twitter / Spoutible

Balloon Juice (Spoutible)
WaterGirl (Spoutible)
TaMara (Spoutible)
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
ActualCitizensUnited

Cole & Friends Learn Español

Introductory Post
Cole & Friends Learn Español

Walter’s Fund (Athenspets)

Donate

Four Directions Montana

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!