It looks like Cliff Kincaid over at Accuracy in Media is trying to give Neil “Muleback Mountain” Horsley a run for his money in the stupidest quotes contest for 2005. What, you might ask, is bothering our heroes at AIM? Anti-Bush bias? The liberal media? Janet Jackson’s nipple?
Nope. The dearth of anti-homosexual lifestyle campaigns in the media:
Have you noticed that many news organizations, in honor of former ABC News anchorman Peter Jennings, have embarked on a quit smoking campaign? So why don’t our media launch a campaign advising people to quit engaging in the dangerous and addictive homosexual lifestyle? Life-threatening sexually transmitted diseases among homosexuals are on the increase.
***That’s performing a good public service. But let’s take this humanitarian impulse one step further. We would suggest that ABC News take on another dangerous practice—homosexuality. The latest reports indicate a rising pattern of sexually transmitted diseases nationwide. The 2005 estimate for syphilis cases is the highest in a decade, and the number of gonorrhea cases will exceed any other year’s count since 1993. Federal officials attribute the increases mostly to HIV-positive homosexual men having sex with one another. The practice is called “serosorting.”
The practice shows the dangerous and addictive nature of the homosexual lifestyle. As if it wasn’t bad enough that the homosexual men are HIV-positive, they simply cannot stop having sex with other men. So they are still having sex, this time with other HIV-positive men. They think this is “responsible” sex. But they are increasing their risk of acquiring other sexually transmitted infections, including new resistant strains of HIV.
It appears that the homosexual lifestyle is as addictive as smoking.
I hope Cliff and his buddies act fast, because although I have been interested in women my entire life, without quick action by the media in the form of an anti-gay lifestyle campaign, I might catch a nasty and deadly case of the “gay.” Last night I almost watched an old episode of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” but thankfully came to my senses and decided to watch the much more heterosexual “Boston Legal.” But for fate, I might have started to get addicted to the gay lifestyle.
You can’t make this shit up.
Pb
Don’t kid yourself–“Boston Legal” isn’t that much more heterosexual. :)
Geek, Esq.
Just wait until Brokeback Mountain opens in a theater near him.
Or when it wins the Oscar!
John Cole
.
Shit- maybe I already have the gay!
Shygetz
Ok, sorry, can’t resist channelling DougJ here…
Why doesn’t anyone ever mention the GOOD things that gay bashing brings us?
Lines
Why, just the other day I caught myself exclaiming “fabulous” and “you look good enough to eat sweetheart!”
I have tried washing my hands with liquid ammonia, but I just think I’ve come down with the gay.
Maybe Pastor Swank can pray some of the gay out of me.
Lines
Its just another example of the intolerance of intolerance. Why can’t those of you that claim you are so damn “tolerant” be more tolerant of those that are intolerant to the homosexual’s in life?
Havn’t we turned the corner on intolerance of intolerance?
Lines
I was against tolerance before I was for tolerance.
Call me insane
Is there anyway to treat the gay? I’m really scared. This is just down right laughable. I love it. Remind me again who is against torture here? In the case of this guy, I’m all for it.
Stormy70
Then you better steer clear of Project Runway, as they do bring the gay.
Brokeback Mountain just looks like a stupid chick flick/obvious Oscar bait movie. It seems too earnest, which usually means BORING. It is no Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Now, that was a good movie.
Marcus Wellby
Does being sick of hearing about this movie make me homophobic? What about thinking Will and Grace is completely overrated?
Seems to me, you want a good review, make sure you have a gay theme — has anyone seen Rent? Good god, how an awful show like that got made into a movie I will never know.
Lines
Speaking of the gay, it appears that those with the infection won a major battle to be included in massive advertising campaigns: America Blog
And I think its just fabulous!
Krista
I like the men…oh shit, I’M gay!
Krista
By the way, this gets my nomination for “Best Thread Title of the Year.”
Marcus Wellby
Is this Cliff Kinkaid guy any relation to band manager Reuben Kinkaid?
Steve
The heterosexual lifestyle is pretty addictive too, and it can lead not only to disease but also to child support payments!
Mac Buckets
Where do you go to treat a Gay Addiction? The Tom Ford clinic?
What, no rimshot? Too obscure?
Krista
LOL
Geek, Esq.
Brokeback Mountain just looks like a stupid chick flick/obvious Oscar bait movie. It seems too earnest, which usually means BORING.
Best film I’ve seen since 2003.
Mac Buckets
You’re a woman of fine taste, K.
Mike in SLO
Hey, is there any chance I can catch the “straight”? It would make my life a helluva lot easier if I could just get a case of the “straights” and end my decadent gay lifestyle. Ya think if I hang our at Hooters I could get infected???
BTW, my gay partner and I can attest to the addictiveness of the homosexual lifestyle: After 7 years together we’re just your average couple…we haven’t had sex in over a year! Maybe we could catch the “gay” and put some excitement back into our lives!
Krista
You don’t know the half of it, honeybunch… ;)
Ancient Purple
I am dying to see this film. Not only because my friends in NYC and L.A. have said the film is fantastic, but also because I can’t wait to see guys in the audience squirm when the two guys have a very passionate kiss.
Always good for some comic relief.
Krista
Or my version:
I can’t wait to see
guys in the audience squirm whenthe two guys have a very passionate kiss.Drew
“Seems to me, you want a good review, make sure you have a gay theme—has anyone seen Rent?”
Actually Rent pretty much got panned… and come to think of it, I swear i’ve seen a bunch of movies with favorable reviews that had no gay themes whatsoever. So what was your point again?
Steve S
I probably will not go to see it, as the homosexual lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me. Where I differ with Republicans, is I feel no need to enforce my non-participation through legislation.
That being said, it doesn’t mean it isn’t a good movie or entertaining for some audiences.
BTW, I went to see King Kong. Pure unadulterated over-hyped crap. I feel sorry for Peter Jackson.
Geek, Esq.
Well, if you feel sorry for Peter Jackson, remember that he’ll probably make over $100 Million from King Kong alone–not to mention what he made from the Rings films.
Oh yeah, he has three Oscars as well.
John Cole
I have zero desire to see Brokeback Mountain or King Kong.
Steve
Rent is the new Cats, where it used to be a big deal, but now it’s difficult to understand who still goes to see it. Even Cats ran out of Japanese tourists to buy tickets in the end.
Ancient Purple
Indeed, Krista, you are a woman of very good taste.
OMG! Mac Buckets and I agree on something.
/faint
Krista
Jake Gyllenhaal = yummy
Heath Ledger = tasty
Together, they’re better than Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
Stormy70
Now Kong looks awesome and chock full of creepy crawlies and dinosaurs. I will be there.
I think lots of people will probably enjoy Brokeback Mountain, but I do not care for the Chick Flickish Genre. Just because Heath is in it does not draw me into the theater. I can just catch any naked sreenshots on a blog, soon enough. I didnt have to see Jarhead to see Jake dancing around in a Santa Hat and a smile. No need to torture myself by watching a depressing love story, gay or straight. I may catch Memoirs of a Geisha, as I found the book to be a good read.
All the Golden Globe movies do not really hold any appeal for me.
Krista
Tha’s the tricky thing though, that book wasn’t a good read, it was a great read. Beautiful and haunting. It’s going to be damned hard for the movie to do it justice.
RSA
Hey, you got Gyllenhaal in my Ledger! You got Ledger on my. . .oh, never mind.
CaseyL
Skinny so far on the flicks (not my opinion, since I haven’t seem any of these yet; just what I hear):
Brokeback Mountain = very good
Memiors of a Geisha = eh
King Kong = major media reviewers love it. Not sure about true Movie Cognescenti.
Perry Como
Ahhh, but what if they combined the two?
JWeidner
Brokeback Kong?
there’s something more scary than ‘the gay’ in a film like that. Sounds like something Neil Horsely could really get into.
neil
No worries, John — according to the IMDb message board, the movie isn’t even being shown in West Virginia.
The good news is, when it comes time to repopulate the Earth, you will be one of the few straight men remaining and thus will likely be very busy.
SeesThroughIt
If you hang out at Hooters, you’ll get infected, alright. It just might not be the infection you want.
dorkafork
On the internet, the correct spelling is “teh gay”
r4d20
Its A-dick-tive.
Sorry. someone had to.
Bob In Pacifica
Where’s Jeff Gannon? Now that business at the White House is done, there’s a Mister Kincaid who needs someone to take dictation.
Geek, Esq.
The Village Voice said that Memoirs of a Geisha seemed like someone tried to combine Raise the Red Lantern and Showgirls.
Eeks.
DougJ
The Freepers are calling that new movie “Bareback Mount Me.” I though that was funny.
Sojourner
Check out Sam Seder’s take on the war on Christmas.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/
neil
I prefer my entendres single, thank you!
Steve S
I honestly can’t figure out how media reviewers liked King Kong. Ok, honestly… yes it did have some good moments. It’s just so damned long, and it has like nothing to do with the Ape.
How can you have a movie called King Kong when Kong isn’t the main character? Just don’t get it.
I’m not sure I have a desire to Memoirs of a Geisha. Maybe. Maybe if it was naked Geishas.
CS
Not to be pedantic or anything…
…But on the Internet, it is never “catch the gay”; it is always “catch teh gay”. Please refer to your stylebook for any further clarification.
Carry on.
Jon H
I wonder how many times Cliff has tried to quit….
KC
Late to the party, but Hahahaha . . . that was a funny post.
DougJ
Enough lying! The lying is through! C’mon, John, the
masquerade is over. You’re thin, late thirties, single…
Shygetz
And you teach at a university and own a cat!
Faux News
“Now Kong looks awesome and chock full of creepy crawlies and dinosaurs”.
Darlin, I think you just described our Congress.
Krista
Shygetz and DougJ — here now, let’s not start rumours.
Jack Roy
I beg to differ.
Soul
http://incomprehensibledemoralization.blogspot.com/2005/12/awful-truth.html
NursePam
It’s too late for me. But let me implore my fellow citizens who remain heterosexual to jump on the bandwagon before they too succumb to the dreaded “Gay”. Save yourselves while you can!