Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Not all heroes wear capes.

… pundit janitors mopping up after the GOP

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Michigan is a great lesson for Dems everywhere: when you have power…use it!

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

I was promised a recession.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Something needs to be done about our bogus SCOTUS.

Happy indictment week to all who celebrate!

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

“In the future, this lab will be a museum. don’t touch it.”

I’m more Christian than these people and I’m an atheist.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

“Can i answer the question? No you can not!”

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

Let us savor the impending downfall of lawless scoundrels who richly deserve the trouble barreling their way.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Come on, media. you have one job. start doing it.

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Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    DJ

    Anyone who liked that sketch may be familiar with Andy Samberg’s earlier work (which is brilliant)! The two other Lonely Island guys are now SNL writers and they clearly wrote that skit. Check it out.

  2. 2.

    Paddy O'Shea

    There are only 2 things a self-respecting fellow should be doing at that hour on a Saturday evening, screwing or sleeping off a drunk.

    SNL = Saturday Night Loser

  3. 3.

    Blue Neponset

    Paddy,

    Only a lightweight, girly-man would be sleeping off a drunk at 11:30 pm. You should get a bite to eat in between wine coolers if you want to make it past midnight, my friend.

  4. 4.

    Paddy O'Shea

    Blue: You go out before 11?

    But anyway, if you’re not getting laid what they hell is there to stay up for? Watching TV? Sitting in bar somewhere enduring the company of dreary nitwits such as yourself?

    Better off snoozing.

    Besides, this is a very sad picture Cole paints here. Bottle of some pretentious $180 scotch in one hand, remote in the other, constantly rerunning his favorite scenes from Elf, all the while blubbering about the golden age of SNL, which apparently for him is that wondrius age of comedy before before Will Farrell left.

    Can life become any more wretched than that?

  6. 6.

    Paul Wartenberg

    Paddy O’Shea Says:

    Blue: You go out before 11?

    But anyway, if you’re not getting laid what they hell is there to stay up for? Watching TV? Sitting in bar somewhere enduring the company of dreary nitwits such as yourself?

    Better off snoozing.

    Besides, this is a very sad picture Cole paints here. Bottle of some pretentious $180 scotch in one hand, remote in the other, constantly rerunning his favorite scenes from Elf, all the while blubbering about the golden age of SNL, which apparently for him is that wondrius age of comedy before before Will Farrell left.

    Can life become any more wretched than that?

    Well, there’s always World of Warcraft. LEEEEROOOOY JENKINS!

  8. 8.

    Stormy70

    Well, there’s always World of Warcraft.

    I am a World of Warcraft Widow.

    Chronic, yo.

    PS Did you give Tunch any decent water yet?! Or did you ignore all our advice?

  10. 10.

    aop

    Paddy–if you don’t think:

    “I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling!”

    and

    “Mr. Pibb plus Red Vines equals crazy delicious!”

    is funny, there’s no hope for you.

  11. 11.

    Davebo

    Will Ferrell? You’ve got to be kidding! The only thing worse than the SNL skits with Ferrell are the pathetic movies he’s made since then.

  12. 12.

    pred

    SNL was never funny. Even in it’s so called Golden Age it stunk. (“Cheese-burger, cheese-burger, cheese-burger!”– Oh stop! You’re killing me). Watch the old shows and you’ll be surprised at how lame they were.

    BTW,SCTV was funny and still holds up well today.

  15. 15.

    DougJ

    Besides, this is a very sad picture Cole paints here. Bottle of some pretentious $180 scotch in one hand, remote in the other, constantly rerunning his favorite scenes from Elf, all the while blubbering about the golden age of SNL, which apparently for him is that wondrius age of comedy before before Will Farrell left.

    Can life become any more wretched than that?

    Paddy, what’s the point in just insulting someone that way? You know I share your politics, but I just don’t see how taking cruel pot shots at people is helpful. I expect you’ll say something snotty back to me, now.

  16. 16.

    Krista

    There are only 2 things a self-respecting fellow should be doing at that hour on a Saturday evening, screwing or sleeping off a drunk.

    Maybe that was a typo. Maybe you meant sleeping on a drunk. It’s actually pretty comfortable, as they’re all relaxed. And it’s much better-smelling than sleeping on a hobo.

  17. 17.

    MAX HATS

    Besides, this is a very sad picture Cole paints here. Bottle of some pretentious $180 scotch in one hand, remote in the other, constantly rerunning his favorite scenes from Elf, all the while blubbering about the golden age of SNL, which apparently for him is that wondrius age of comedy before before Will Farrell left.

    Why don’t you spam some more threads with poll results and copy+pasted vitriol. You know, really show Cole how good posts gets made.

    I’ve been reading this site for a while, and this is the first mention of SNL I’ve ever seen. OOOOH JOHN COLE WITH HIS SNL OBSESSION A BLOOO BLOOO BLOOO (crying here) just shut up. Far be it from you of all people to be questioning the value of anyone’s content.

    Consider this the first documented case of Lurker Rage.

  18. 18.

    Shalimar

    The Reverend Leroy bears a passing resemblance to Liberace. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  21. 21.

    Doug

    That was awesome. And nowadays, I can’t even stay up until 11:30 on Saturdays. I’m old, married, and have 2 small children. Fortunately I drank enough in my 20s to last me a couple of decades. As I wrote that, I remembered jotting down “titles” of drinking stories. It’s random goofiness, but I figure I’ll share.

    Just by way of introduction, my nickname in college was “Dog” and Matt & Mark were my roommates in college. Dom was just a death metal playing nut who came to visit us occasionally.

    Anyway, here are the events I jotted down:

    Cabrewing

    30 beers

    Mark & Matt’s 21st

    1st Annual February 29th Case Chase

    Purple Passion in the Pit Party

    Purple Passion in the Pit Party Part II

    The Crowning of the Tahitian King

    Geiser Stabs a Couch

    Geiser & Renner slapping folks around in Matamoros

    Passing around Tequila in Matamoros

    24th Birthday

    Mark Punches a Mirror

    He’s My Roommate, I’ll Decide When He’s Had Enough

    21st Birthday at Rob’s

    21st Birthday w/ Burton & Baer at Mac & Joes

    Burton’s 21st Birthday

    New Year’s Eve at Matt & Gretchen’s

    Dom Liberates the Wild Irish Rose

    His Ugliness Transcends Gender

    Doug & Mark v. the Redskin Linebacker

    Do You Lick Balls?

    Bowling with Harry

    Midnight Dragon: The Malt Liquor that Makes You Angry

    Marsha gets her stomach pumped

    Matt gets lucky at Mark’s mom’s house

    Dom vandalizes Matt’s couch

    Matt pukes across the counter at his apartment

    Matt loses his pants: Dayton

    Matt loses his pants: Ecky & Girlfriend

    Matt loses his pants: Campus Courts

    Matt loses his pants: Jenny’s place

    Matt loses his pants & wets the bed: Key West

    Matt pees on the hardwood floor

    Matt pees on Gretchen’s shoe

    Matt pees on Gretchen

    Matt crosses the river; Dog takes the tracks

    Dog’s first MadDog

    3 Dog Night

    30 goldfish

    Mark goes to Vegas

    Matt & Bailey liberate a computer

    Matt & Mark get ejected from the Saloon

    3 Ring Circus: Mark “Casanova” Nester at the Saloon

    Do you golf?

    Smoking out the corner table at the Saloon

    Mark’s wedding Part I: Kevin sings Mack the Knife

    Mark’s wedding Part II: The Race to Dance with Mark’s mom

    Mark’s wedding Part III: Harassing Elise with “song” & “dance”.

    Mark’s wedding Part IV: Elise plays the trump card.

    Mark’s wedding Part V: Harry & Mark share a special moment.

    Kegger & alcohol poisoning at Triad Townhouses

    Oberlin: Dom’s War with God.

    Did you just sneeze?

    Puking on Mrs. Baer & Lori (Pub Crawl)

    Matt meets my parents, and can’t keep up.

    Drinking myself thirsty

    Puking 13 times during one conversation walking home

    Michelle tries to throw Mark off the Bluffs

    Let’s not be so hasty with the 8-ball

    Mark, Matt, & a Pony Keg come to Bloomington

    Dom & the Fire Extinguisher in Bloomington (Great quote here: “Dom, why is there a bannister rail in here?” “I was walking by those townhouses on the way back here, I thought, ‘those are really nice; I’ll never have anything nice.’ So I kicked it.”)

  22. 22.

    HH

    It’s sort of an antithesis to the idea of “Saturday Night LIVE” but it wouldn’t be a bad thing if we got back to the 1984-85 style of show (with Chris Guest, Short, Crystal, etc.)… the taped stuff lately is better (Christmas for the Jews on the same episode was an instant classic).

  24. 24.

    Paddy O'Shea

    Max Hats: I think you need to pay a visit to The Reverend Leroy.

    Bring your checkbook. He’ll help you, and your salvation will bring him joy, but you’re going to want to leave him a love offering.

  25. 25.

    RSA

    Bottle of some pretentious $180 scotch in one hand. . .

    Sorry, pretentious Scotch starts at $250 a bottle. (My encounter was 25 year old Macallen, a gift from my wife for the traditional academic milestone.)

  29. 29.

    Krista

    Sorry, pretentious Scotch starts at $250 a bottle.

    Ye gods. I like fine booze, but $250 for something you wind up pissing out? I could spend $175 of that on an incredible pair of shoes that I’d have forever, and still have enough left over for a really decent bottle of Glen Breton.

  31. 31.

    demimondian

    The 25 year is good stuff. Had it at a Macallan tasting once.

    Had the 30 year once. Unforgettable.

  32. 32.

    srv

    Maybe that was a typo. Maybe you meant sleeping on a drunk. It’s actually pretty comfortable, as they’re all relaxed. And it’s much better-smelling than sleeping on a hobo.

    Krista, you have alot of experience with that?

  35. 35.

    RSA

    Paddy O’Shea wrote:

    Speaking of dumb white guys and South Asians. . .

    Um, I don’t see anyone speaking of dumb white guys or South Asians except you (neither of which exactly applies to me.) Projection issues, possibly?

    As for Krista’s $175 pair of shoes, well, you can spend it on your feet or on your mouth. My wife would probably go with the former; chacun a son gout. (Now that’s pretentious.)

  36. 36.

    Dave Ruddell

    You can call us Aaron Burr, from the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.

    That made me laugh. Hard.

  37. 37.

    Horshu

    SNL sucked when Ferrell (and that entire crew) started. I think Will Ferrell/SNL, and I think of those ridiculous cheerleader skits that lasted for 10 minutes and had the punchline after the first 30 seconds.
    However, Ferrell was a good SNL character in “Old School,” and “Anchorman,” was a hilarious form of the essential WF character.

  38. 38.

    topsecretk9

    I would just love to thank you (John Cole) and your pet retard for the SENSATION you’ve caused on the blogosphere….DougJ is a verb now, neat!

    Actually, it is totally FUBAR…what it does? is causes new commenters to be ignored or made fun of… And it causes anyone new to a blog OR new to blogs afraid to comment. Swell!!

    I don’t think I need to point put to you to how silly the high school antics Balloon Juice is associated with now….you know what?… it’s just wrong. THE REAL PROBLEM? NOW there are a bunch of copycat ASSHOLE DOUGJ’s…

    THANKS JOHN.

    And I say this, IN TOTAL support of your Dennis the Peasant CommentS…You are right!! and the guy just needs to (slow talk) “L E T IT G O” and you did a great job of telling hom that!

  39. 39.

    topsecretk9

    wait…on second thought, that most likely wasn’t you at Dennis the Peasant,,,it was probably just DougJ. Sorry, Apologies.

  40. 40.

    Geoduck

    Whatever his other flaws, Ferrell did a sketch on Election Eve 2000 which predicted the entire sweep of the Bush years with frightening accuracy. But it was right about then that I gave up on the show…

  42. 42.

    Krista

    Krista, you have alot of experience with that?

    Um…a friend told me what it’s like. Yeah, that’s it! A friend…

  43. 43.

    Krista

    As for Krista’s $175 pair of shoes, well, you can spend it on your feet or on your mouth. My wife would probably go with the former; chacun a son gout. (Now that’s pretentious.)

    Why choose? Split the cost between your feet and your mouth, and not only will you have a sweet buzz, but you’ll look great while doing it.

    And just for the record, it’s not “chacun a son gout”, it’s “a chacun son gout”. I can’t do French characters on this keyboard, unfortunately, so I can’t put in the accent-grave on the “a”.

  44. 44.

    Bilwick

    The Narnia rap was very funny, but nothing beat “Christmastime for the Jews.” Destined to be an all-time SNL classic.

  45. 45.

    Paddy O'Shea

    RSA (Republic of South Africa?): Yes, that was me talking about dumb white guys and South Asians. I’ll bet it was my name being attached to the post that tipped you off, right?

    I’m tellin’ ya, guys like RSA really help to highlight the need on this site for a wood block function.

    But speaking of dumb white guys, it is now becoming apparent that the pro-Iranian fundamentalist Shi’ite majority in Iraq has carried the election and will be the dominant power in the new Iraqi Parliament. Could Bush have foreseen this? Of course not, it’s that old bad intelligence thing again. You know, the kind he was born with.

    The #1 demand of Iraq’s new masters? US troops out of Iraq.

    Which makes sense for them. Get American troops out, and then call in Iranian troops to help them deal with the Sunni terrorist insurgency. You know, the one that threatens Iraq’s brand new fully elected democracy?

    Yeah, that’s it.

    For this we spent half a trillion dollars and the lives of over 2,100 Americans.

    http://indiamonitor.com/news/readNews.jsp?ni=9786

    But I digress. Gilda Radnor? Anyone?

  46. 46.

    Ozymandius

    Um…a friend told me what it’s like. Yeah, that’s it! A friend…

    Yeah, a friend told me that too.

    Though I think I might have been the drunk.

  47. 47.

    Krista

    Ozymandius – You know, I can think of a lot of things to say right now, but none that would give a good impression. So I’ll just smile demurely.

  48. 48.

    The Other Steve

    Speaking of dumb white guys and South Asians

    Wait a minute! This thread isn’t about Neil Bush and whores from Thailand.

    Although, maybe it should be…

  51. 51.

    Tim.G

    he..he
    It’s refreshing to hear (read) about real spirituality, what with all the fake variety we are exposed to constantly.

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  1. […] Via John Cole’s Balloon Juice comes this absolutely hilarious SNL skit. As Cole rightly notes, Saturday Night Live hasn’t quite been living up to it’s reputation, but this video is classic. postCount(‘589’); | postCountTB(‘589’); | Permalink | Link Cosmos […]