I just discovered Greg Gutfeld’s double secret hidden blog (what is the story on this- did they ban him from the rest of the site?), and it is just jam-packed with stuff that made me giddy. A swipe at Cindy Sheehan:
QUOTE OF THE YEAR: I feel I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.” – cindy sheehan, the guardian, dec 12 2005.
no, that’s just michael moore.
A swipe at the HuffPo lefites:
some commenters to my recent post noted that Tookie Williams was not executed for writing children’s books, but for killing four people. Christ, I must have missed that small fact when i was reading about Williams on the Huffington Post. I thought all he did was write children’s books!
thanks for the heads up!
A swipe at George Galloway:
thank god for UK celebrity Big Brother. Dennis Rodman is on it, but more important, so is the self-important sleazebag George Galloway. What a cock. you should have seen him boxing in his cute little shorts and his “Cuba” sweat shirt. You should see him walking around the big brother house, telling anyone who will listen that he’s “the most famous person here, i am known all over the world, and by two hundred million arabs” (or muslims – i can’t remember).
Some unspeakable observations:
-Badly behaved children are never kidnapped or murdered
-being a dictator would fucking rule
-butterflies are just attractive flies. Kill them
-even pacifists think guns are cool
-people always look more attractive when they’re dumping you
-racism is okay if it’s directed toward a majority
-toilet paper means we haven’t tried hard enough to find another, better way
A swipe at lefties in general:
LESSONS IN LEFTISM: When someone brings up James Frey’s fabrications in his book “A Million Little Pieces,” simply sigh, and sniff, “Really, how is he any different from George Bush?” For extra credit: “You know, there’s another book out there that’s full of embellishments: It’s called the Bible.”
There you go: I have just summarized how to act and sound like a predictable, lame-ass lefty in two simple sentences! What do I win?
(remember: when saying these things, you need to adopt the same voice a grad student would employ when saying “checkmate” to himself while playing computer chess.)
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