I just discovered Greg Gutfeld’s double secret hidden blog (what is the story on this- did they ban him from the rest of the site?), and it is just jam-packed with stuff that made me giddy. A swipe at Cindy Sheehan:
QUOTE OF THE YEAR: I feel I’m carrying the world on my shoulders.” – cindy sheehan, the guardian, dec 12 2005.
no, that’s just michael moore.
A swipe at the HuffPo lefites:
some commenters to my recent post noted that Tookie Williams was not executed for writing children’s books, but for killing four people. Christ, I must have missed that small fact when i was reading about Williams on the Huffington Post. I thought all he did was write children’s books!
thanks for the heads up!
A swipe at George Galloway:
thank god for UK celebrity Big Brother. Dennis Rodman is on it, but more important, so is the self-important sleazebag George Galloway. What a cock. you should have seen him boxing in his cute little shorts and his “Cuba” sweat shirt. You should see him walking around the big brother house, telling anyone who will listen that he’s “the most famous person here, i am known all over the world, and by two hundred million arabs” (or muslims – i can’t remember).
Some unspeakable observations:
-Badly behaved children are never kidnapped or murdered
-being a dictator would fucking rule
-butterflies are just attractive flies. Kill them
-even pacifists think guns are cool
-people always look more attractive when they’re dumping you
-racism is okay if it’s directed toward a majority
-toilet paper means we haven’t tried hard enough to find another, better way
A swipe at lefties in general:
LESSONS IN LEFTISM: When someone brings up James Frey’s fabrications in his book “A Million Little Pieces,” simply sigh, and sniff, “Really, how is he any different from George Bush?” For extra credit: “You know, there’s another book out there that’s full of embellishments: It’s called the Bible.”
There you go: I have just summarized how to act and sound like a predictable, lame-ass lefty in two simple sentences! What do I win?
(remember: when saying these things, you need to adopt the same voice a grad student would employ when saying “checkmate” to himself while playing computer chess.)
The greatest blog in the world!
SmilingPolitely
That’ll fool them neo-cons, John.
*wink*
Good thinkin’!
MN Politics Guru
Wow! A conservative who is actually funny! It probably would have been easier to locate Jimmy Hoffa, but a good find nonetheless.
ppGaz
Okay, translation: My lefties are getting too cocky, time to troll them and throw a bone to my righties.
Yawn. Nice try, maybe some other weekend.
Paddy O'Shea
Ahh, scurrilous speculation. Gotta love it.
Speaking of the genre, TBR News has an entirely different take on the Martha Alioto sobbing inclident. Here’s a couple of key passages:
It seems that Judge Alito has a good-looking son, Philip, and when the family was at the White House recently to meet with Bush and his wife, the president somehow got the son alone and tried to kiss him …
The boy was outraged and told his father that Bush smelled of booze. The father said nothing, wanting the Supreme Court job, but the mother complained to Laura Bush. Laura told her that … “George is under so much stress these days, trying to protect America from terrorists that he ‘slips’ once in a while …”
I immediately passed this to a British newspaperman (Guardian) who shot back that a similar incident had transpired when Bush was visiting England and it was a subject Not To Be Discussed!
(later …)
Right in the middle of the hearing on her husband’s suitability for the supreme Court, Ms Alito suddenly fled from the room, weeping. There was nothing going on at the moment that justified it. My source tells me she is furious because Bush is a pedophile and she is afraid her son will get nailed by the sick creep. Her husband wants his new job and will do nothing to prevent him from getting his position …
http://www.thetruthseeker.co.uk/print.asp?ID=4042
OCSteve
I can’t believe you just found out about that. It was the only reason to ever visit HuffPo.
I can’t believe they have let him stay this long…
ppGaz
I’d be quite proud to say that the main difference between me and a conservative is that a conservative might think that any of that lame shit is funny.
Jesus. Really, that is the lamest list of crap I’ve seen in a long time.
If John wants to troll the lefties, he really needs to find something above the level of Darrell-hung-over.
Stormy70
The article has a picture, too.
Greg is awesome. Been a fan for a while now.
Paddy O'Shea
Stormy: If Norm Coleman were to come to visit you, upon what part of your body would you apply the cream?
Sojourner
Notice that all of these swipes are at lefties who DON’T MATTER.
Unlike the situation on the right:
A lying, spying administration. You know, the folks controlling the presidency of the most powerful country in the world.
A Republican leadership rife with corruption.
A Republican economy that is great for those with money but sucks for everyone else.
An anti-intellectualism and anti-science position that has resulted in positioning incompetent people in positions that really matter and attempts to undermine the scientific integrity of this country.
Come on, John. Why should we interpret this as anything more than the agonized cry of denial by a conservative totally humiliated by the total absence of competence and ethics of those whom he continues to support?
Paddy O'Shea
Soj: No, I don’t think you understand what is going on here. The Right understands that for most of the Twinkie gobbling ninnies that are so great a part of the citizenry of this blessed land, politics is all about the trash culture. If the issues are not dumbed down to the Entertainment Tonight/Access Hollywood/E! level of discourse, they ain’t innnerested. We on the Left rather fancy ourselves as being high-minded and rational and therefore above such things.
And I disagree with that approach. We need to embrace the Swift Boat/Pat Roberts/Karl Rove-style garbage culture that is so much of politics today.
Just like John Cole has.
Jack Roy
I used to think that conservatives who were quite insistent that Jon Stewart and Al Franken were not, in fact, funny, were simply so consumed by partisanship that they had to deny the obvious funny-ness to avoid cognitive dissonance. Unlike honest conservatives like John Cole who’ll listen to and laugh at Patton Oswalt even when he’s on his anti-Bush rant, conservatives like Ann Althouse and her commenters who proclaimed that the Daily Show just wasn’t any good any more, I thought, had to be kidding themselves.
Because humor is objective, I thought. If something’s funny and you disagree with it, you still laugh—unless you’re being held hostage to your disagreements. And that’s the sad fate of only a few unfortunate souls.
Then I ran into Greg Gutfield’s occasional musings, and people swear to me that he’s funny. I look, and I look, and I can’t get it. (The Cindy Sheehan / Michael Moore bit was a rare exception.) And now I wonder whether political comedy is unfunny for everyone who doesn’t go along. And I had preferred my illusions that it could be somehow transcendant. Sigh.
Sojourner
Sadly, I have to agree with this.
ppGaz
The culture snark, yes, fine. But not the JC part. John has consistently decried those guys and their tactics, so the cheap shot isn’t appropriate.
—-//
Besides, it’s not really about a garbage culture. It’s about smearing your adversary so that you can deflect from the truth about yourself. It’s about covering fire, and holding a corrupt coalition together by demonizing the alternative. It’s all bullshit. The truth about those guys will be revealed in the Abramoff and Plame cases, as they unfold, not in the Rovian manipulations.
Zifnab
Wow. See, that was definately not a left-leaning post at all. I’m impressed. I honestly didn’t think Cole had a big enough right-wing testicle to post something like this. Someone’s been hitting the Belgium Fruit-Beer a bit hard.
skip
“The greatest blog in the world!”
At least since Der Stürmer folded its last canvas bunker.
Geek, Esq.
Paddy O’Shea:
Tbrnews and thetruthseeker.co.uk are operations run by the fascist right–you can find plenty of Holocaust denial material at either place.
Please don’t pollute this blog with links to those cesspools.
The funny thing is that this guy is targeting lefties that I myself, as a liberal, target. I mean, outside of Democratic Underground nobody really respects Galloway.
Good to see his career go down in flames.
Paddy O'Shea
Geek: Hey, I didn’t vouch for it. I just hoped that poeple would see how fitting a bookend it is to the stuff Cole posted.
But you’re right, there is some pretty hairy shit on there.
tb
Then I ran into Greg Gutfield’s occasional musings, and people swear to me that he’s funny. I look, and I look, and I can’t get it.
Trust your instincts. This guy sucks. He sucks like the breakroom cut-up at a Dodge dealership. What a wonderfully clever bit about Cindy Sheehan. What a total fucking douchebag.
Far North
Gutfield? Sheesh. I think I’ll stick with Jon Stewart and the Daily Show.
Andrew
Here’s a serious question:
Why aren’t there any (purposely) funny right wingers?
Brad R.
Wow! A conservative who is actually funny! It probably would have been easier to locate Jimmy Hoffa, but a good find nonetheless.
Yeah, tell me about it. The only other funny conservatives are O’Reilly and Pat Robertson- and they aren’t intentional.
Brad R.
(OK, and PJ O’Rourke. But libertarians don’t really count, because they’re almost ALWAYS funny.)
Brad R.
I mean, outside of Democratic Underground nobody really respects Galloway.
Yep. Galloway’s a wanker. Even Greg Palast has had it with him.
John Cole
Sheesh. Sometimes a post is just a post. I saw this via Instapundit and thought it was funny.
canuckistani
I think there are so few funny right-wingers because humour is developed as a defense by young people on the bottom end of the school power struggle. People on top just come off sounding like bullies when they hit out with humour. A joke about the most powerful man in the world who can’t open a door is funny. A joke about a woman whose son has been killed is pathetic.
Brad R.
Why aren’t there any (purposely) funny right wingers?
Because good satire is about railing against the established power. South Park’s broadsides against political correctness were hilarious back when PC was really en vogue, and now they’re equally hilarious when they trash the GOP.
People like Rush, Malkin & Co. are reduced to being porkers for government power when their party is in control, and it’s no fun exclusively kicking the Left when the Left is already down.
Brad R.
Sheesh. Sometimes a post is just a post. I saw this via Instapundit and thought it was funny.
No, John, nothing can ever be funny, everything, I mean EVERYTHING must be taken completely seriously at all times. I’d say that I hope you die a miserable fucking death, but I’m already under threat from lawsuit from one blogger, so you’ll just have to take comfort in the fact that I’m thinking it RIGHT NOW.
Richard Bottoms
More humor here:
Guess the Pakistani’s can’t take a joke.
ppGaz
Not around this crowd. Remember, you are talking about people who think that George Bush looking under the sofa in the Oval Office for those “darned WMDs” was funny.
People are dying for those WMDs and that sick little motherfucker was joking about them … and there are people right here who think it was funny.
Just so you’ll know.
Andrew
Indeed. The South Park-ers, however, are hardly right wing (or left).
When Clinton was president, there weren’t any funny right wingers either, really — Rush, et al.s’ work was just as un-funny as it is now.
OCSteve
Christ people lighten up. Skewering HuffPo, on HuffPo, is funny. Doing his secret blog thing is funny.
Every friggin’ post John puts up – be it beer (OK that’s Tim), cute pets, or a bit of comic relief – turns into Iraq/Bush/RepubliThugs within 15 comments.
It’s Saturday night. Get a life. Have a laugh, take it at face value, and move along. Go out, play with your kids (pets), watch a movie, enjoy a nice dinner with someone important to you.
I’m outta here (I know, you’ll really miss me).
ppGaz
We’re slipping; we were going for 8 or less.
Ha ha. Enjoy your day.
ppGaz
Now THAT’S funny.
(blockquote is from DKos’s SusanG).
Bruce Moomaw
To each his own, but except for the crack about Michael Moore’s weight, none of this stuff struck me as remotely witty. I mean, it didn’t even have enough clout to make me angry, which something witty always does if you happen to disagree with it. And Gutfield, as several people have noted, is good at jumping up and down on the Loony Left without noting that right now it has infinitely less political clout in this country than the Loony Right — which is actually in power at the moment, for God’s sake. How many of us are defending Galloway or Frey? And what’s wrong with pointing out that Bush lies as much as Frey, and with rather larger effects?
If it’s any comfort, John recently told me in an E-mail that he’s extremely fond of Tim F. and that they rarely disagree on anything important — and since I haven’t found a single position yet on which Tim F. is to my own Left, I presume this means that John is still a lot closer to the views of most of this blog’s liberal commentators than might be guessed from this post of his. (And a lot closer to us than Gutfield is.)
ppGaz
I think John hates me to say this, but he’s not to the right of me, and I’m pretty much a solid social liberal.
Pooh
I dunno some of that stuff is at least chuckle worthy. Being a dictator would rule until one of your body guards shot you in the eye…But then, I thought the Bush/WMD joke was funny (though clueless) as well.
Bruce Moomaw
Again, to each his own. I thought, under the circumstances, that the Bush WMD routine was about as funny as Ilse Koch’s experiments in interior decorating.
constate
sophomoric sarcasm seems to pass as humor on the right.
OCSteve
OK wife’s working late – one more…
Forget the material – even to me, it’s just the concept of this guy skewering HuffPo on HuffPo, and the “secret” blog. Frankly, I give them credit for not kicking him out long ago. RedState would not be as open. Imagine Tim F. on RedState – I’d give him what – 3 posts? So to give credit where credit is due – HuffPo over RedState in this one.
That scares me as much as it does you.
Thank you for that:)
I won’t quibble with the meaning of “lies” on this thread, because it would kind of undo my point. Just saying – I’d love to come into a thread about pets or beer and not read about BushHitler within a few comments.
I’m getting fond of Tim F. We are not that far off on politics – and the Friday night beer thing is great. I lived in Germany for 6 years. Damned near every town of any size has their own brewery. I was in heaven. I sampled more beer, and grew to love many, and started anticipating the seasonal Christmas Beers about September every year. Oktoberfest – get out of here. I went through culture shock when I returned to the US after 6 years. Sitting in front of me now is a Coors Light – that little factoid may earn me more abuse than all of my political related comments combined :) (102 calories, what can I say).
Anyway – good night folks. Don’t be so serious.
Steve S
OH OH! I haven’t been following Galloway, but I just did a google news search and we’re missing out.
He’s on a reality show called The World’s Biggest Wanker on the BBC. Damn we’re going to miss it here in the States.
As much as I don’t like Galloway… He’s got some powerful enemies, who have been caught at numerous times fabricating documents trying to discredit him. I’m surprised at how afraid they are of him, cause over in England it seemed he was regarded as a wanker and didn’t have much sway.
[*] Oops… I just found out the show is named Celebrity Big Brother, not Worlds Biggest Wanker.
John Cole
If you folks don;t think this is funny:
The problem isn’t Gerg Gutfield- it is you.
Steve S
I heard Frey cried at the Alito hearings too.
ppGaz
Yes, making fun of the appearance of a 73 year old woman is just a hoot, John.
Is that West Virginia humor?
Or are you trying to out-DougJ DougJ?
Steve S
I didn’t like Huffington when she was going after Clinton… I still don’t like her today.
But that doesn’t mean Gutfield is funny.
Sorry. This blog has more comedy.
John Cole
PPGAZ- I know YOU are humor impaired. Either that, or you pull your underwear up to your shoulders every morning.
ppGaz
Right, I am “humor impaired” because I refuse to guffaw at ridicule of the looks of a 73-year-odl woman.
WTF, are you guys in high school?
I write more funny stuff in a week than you do all year, compadre. More, and funnier. Every week. All year. More.
ppGaz
More.
Pooh
Carelful, John you might make Ms. Feinstein cry. And then the terrorists win.
ppGaz
Funnier.
ppGaz
My week = your year.
ppGaz
Cole_humor
Sojourner
Now THAT’S funny.
ppGaz
Whoops, foiled by HTML.
John Cole
I won’t disagree. But what is funny about what you write is that you are TRYING to be serious.
demimondian
You know, I don’t know of any other cases of humans who find any sauropods sexually attractive. Another day, another paraphilia…
ppGaz
Owww!
Oh yeah? Your mother wears combat boots!
S.W. Anderson
I suspect John had enjoyed a little too much of his beloved box wine before making his best blog choice.
demimondian
You know, after thirty years of hearing this “insult”, I’m still puzzled by it.
Why would I be ashamed that my mother was a soldier?
ppGaz
I dunno. Because she looked like Beetle Bailey?
Pooh
Top 5 reasons.
5. Indicates your mom is built like an NFL offensive lineman and needs the boots to support her cankles.
4. That’s not your mother, that’s a man, man.
3. Black shoes after Labor Day? Puh-lease.
2. Combat boots = lesbo. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Though it does mean your father is a turkey-baster. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
1. You fight like a girl.
Sock Puppet
Oh good Lord, now they’re having a humor debate.
Well, I certainly can’t make things much worse.
Q) How many Members of Pajamas Media does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A) None. Money has no influence on what they do.
Jess
If this is the most piercing humor that the right can sling at the left these days, then I’m really starting to believe that the right is going down in flames. And I agree with ppGaz that mocking people’s looks (or weight) just isn’t funny once you’re past high school. Besides, Michael Moore’s jokes about his weight are WAY better; in The Big One, when someone suggests that he should run for president, he points out that you need to have a message for that–“and what would mine be–eat out more often?”
By the way ppGaz, you know I generally agree with you, but you and some of the others have been trying to insult other guys by refering to them as women, and like most women I have a hard time understanding why this would be an insult–could you please explain?
demimondian
Oh. My. God. Don’t you know anything?
It’s “white shoes after labor day”. You can only wear white shoes during the summer, when they won’t necessarily get covered in muck. You can wear black shoes anytime.
Except when you’re wearing a white gown.
Demi “Married to a sourthern belle” mondian
demimondian
Q) How many Members of Pajamas Media does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A) None. Money has no influence on what they do.
Except for John Cole, who’s only in it for the money, but won’t screw in a lightbulb except for love.
Sock Puppet
Q) How many lightbulbs does it take to screw a Member of Pajamas Media?
A) Winston Churchill.
Pooh
What. Ever.
demimondian
You left out the sigh and the flirt of the hair.
demimondian
Damn! That was subtle.
But it was Bertrand Russell in the version of the story I heard.
ppGaz
Hmm. Is this a trick question? With regard to any particular insult of mine, since each one is like a signed work of art, and unique and special, I’d have to see the specific sample to comment further on it. I put a lot of love and work into my insults, they don’t just fall off of trees.
Now wrt to your larger question, why would referring to a guy as a girl be considered an insult? Well, uh, I suppose because men assume that men are stronger than women, so if a man is said to be like a woman, then he is displaying some weakness or feminine trait that isn’t manly. However, I am sure you know this, so I’ll make you a deal:
A fresh copy of my book, “Everything I Know and Some Parts of My Life Story” with illustrations by the author, and two coupons good for Ciabatta Burgers at Jack In The Box at half price except for blacked out dates, all for $29.95 plus S&H. I can have it on its way to you tonight if you will send along your credit card numbers and expiration dates.
Thank you, New Friend!!
demimondian
Don’t fall for it, Jess. He sends you a book full of blank pages, and, if you complain, explains that he really doesn’t know anything for sure, and mutters something about “American skepticism”.
ppGaz
.
Satisfaction is guaranteed when you buy from ppGaz Publishing!
Jess, I’ll even throw in a personal insult autographed by the author.
demimondian
What he doesn’t tell you is that it’s a pre-used insult from thirty years ago, and it’s not even aimed at you.
John Cole
I have the Cliff’s Notes version. It is the size of a postage stamp.
ppGaz
Unauthorized! Plagiarism!!
demimondian
Is it any different from the version for Dummies?
ppGaz
Free excerpt:
It just gets better from there.
demimondian
Yeah. It ends.
ppGaz
Where’s the love?
demimondian
Hello, Friend! You’re probably surprised to hear from me, but I was referred to you by a mutual acquaintance who said you might be interested in a unique offer that I can make to you. I am the author of a unique volume, “All the Love in the World for Dummies”. It’s a blank document roughly the size of a postage stamp, and Demimondienne Publishing believes that you’re the perfect dummy to buy such a priceless work of art. (Art’s a window washer on State Street, and he wrote the book.)
Jess
Well, I suppose it’s a trick question if you don’t have a well-considered answer to it–I suspected you didn’t, but I was giving you a chance to explain why being something other than a (presumably straight*) man should be considered something less. I know that force of habit is usually behind these sorts of comments, and that you probably don’t really think someone with my anatomy is necessarily a weaker character than someone with Bush’s equipment (inre your comments of yesterday), but a smart guy like you can aim a little better and avoid taking out innocent bystanders when you do your drive-by’s.
* here I’m refering to the many men (not necessarily you) who use the term “fag” as an insult.
ppGaz
As I said earlier, unless you have a specific example, I really don’t know what you are talking about. Can you quote or point to the referenced slight please?
ppGaz
I’m not aware of ever having called anyone a fag, anywhere, at any time.
Tim F.
You’ve heard it before, and I know that it’s wrong on at least a plurality of levels, but I’m going to share anyway.
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That’s not funny
My alma mater, where a good fraction of any given graduating class could correctly define ‘ecofeminism,’ would be so disappointed.
demimondian
Hmm. Here we get into the real roots of the “your momma wears army boots” insult. You see, historically, “your momma” didn’t refer to your mother, but rather to your “lady” — your lover — back in the day before any women were allowed into combat roles at all. In that day, the only way “your momma” could wear army boots was if “your momma” was male, and you were gay.
So, in fact, ppG, you have called someone homosexual-as-an-insult, even if you didn’t mean to do so.
ppGaz
Now I’m really curious. If this is in regard to what I said to you here upthread, then it’s imprecise: I said that men tend to assume that they are stronger than women. And they do, and they generally are, if we are talking pure strength. That’s why women’s tees on a golf course are shorter than the men’s tees. It’s not an idea I came up with by myself. It’s just a general thing.
If it’s in regard to something I said yesterday, then you’ll have to tell me what that was, or point me to the post, otherwise I have no clue what we’re talking about.
ppGaz
Hmm. But the complainant seems to be referencing something from yesterday, and I have no idea what it is.
More info is needed.
ppGaz
I think this was only true in Oklahoma.
Jess
ppGaz,
I’ve read several remarks by made by you and others that equate femininity with weakness or incompetence (or something along those lines–it was more implied than overtly stated), but the one that finally provoked me to speak up was yesterday (I believe) when you referred to Bush as “Georgia” and his cohorts in similar feminized versions of their names. I’m by no means a member of the PC police (and the feminist lightbulb joke is one of my favorites), but it’s the unthinking assumptions behind that sort of comment that I get rather irked by–especially since I think the neo-cons’ attempts to infuse their politics with a particularly lame version of macho have been a big factor in how ugly and stupid the political arena has become.
I wouldn’t bother pointing this out to you if I didn’t think you were better than this. Please don’t take any of this as a personal attack (and no, I’ve never seen you or anyone else here use “fag” as an insult–I was pointing out that that is also a common habit with people that think its better to be “manly” than “womanly,” whatever those terms mean). Just for the record, I’m sick of all the male-bashing that goes on in certain circles as well–none of this does anybody any good.
demimondian
Heh. Where’s the love? Here I give a scholarly disquisition on the origin of an idiom, and what do I get? Abuse!
What did I ever do to deserve that? (Don’t answer that question — it’s purely for effect.)
ppGaz
Sorry, but I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I have never intentionally referred to George Bush as “Georgia.” Nor to any person named George as “Georgia.” If there is such a writing with my name on it, it is either a typo, or a spoof.
Please produce a pointer to the referenced material or else I will have conclude that you are carrying out a practical joke here.
Pb
“Michael Moore [is fat]” — Greg Gutfeld
“The greatest blog in the world!” — John Cole
(I’ll assume that part was supposed to be humor too…)
Jess
Of course–just as women are genetically predisposed to live longer (if they don’t die in childbirth) and survive famine better. They also tend to have better manual dexterity. But as I’m sure you’ll agree, neither gender has a monopoly on moral worth or general competence, and big muscles are only useful for certain kinds of tasks, just like manual dexterity. So it’s silly to sneer at a clumsy woman for being like a man, it’s silly to sneer at a physically weak man for being like a woman, and its also silly to sneer at a politcal figure for being clumsy or physically weak–that’s not what we hired them for. So let’s stick with stupid, incompetent and corrupt–universal human traits.
Jess
????
Well, I’m puzzled too, then, because I’m 90% certain I read that in one of the threads with your name on it, but if I’m wrong, then please accept my apologies. I’m pretty sure I’ve read similar things with your name on them, though, because I did note to myself that it seemed inconsistent with what I know about you.
At any rate, since I didn’t bring it up to castigate you in the first place, let’s just all join hands and sing kumbaya, and go back to ripping on the Bushies.
ppGaz
Like the harangue?
ppGaz
Not a problem. Perhaps you saw it and thought I wrote it, but I didn’t. I don’t remember anything to that effect at all. The gender-lame or gay-lame is not something I use, either in here or in real life. Never have. Don’t care for it. If I ever wrote anything that looked like a gay lame, it was probably a satire of the form.
No, “Georgia” Bush is not my invention. Mostly I refer to him as “Spud” (potatohead) or “Asshole” or “That little *&^%*&^%&^%^%@^%@[email protected]%$#%~!^%$^!$^%@%$%!^%[email protected]&^%$^!”
Jess
Okay, we’re good–probably all the revisionist-history writing that’s going in is starting to infect me as well. I’m going to turn off what’s left of my brain now and go watch “Transporter 2.” Peace.
Bruce Moomaw
“If you folks don’t think this is funny: ‘Diane Feinstein is quite sexy for a sauropod’ — the problem isn’t Greg Gutfield — it is you.”
Who are you and what have you done with John Cole?
ppGaz
Have a pleasant evening!
demimondian
Well, ppG, I gotta say that John sure got a rise out of his lefties this evening, now didn’t he?
MikeQuinlivan
Q: How do you know that Greg Gutfeld has been in your back yard?
A: Your garbage cans are empty and your dog is pregnant.
(yes, stolen from “Stand By Me”, but it is such an all purpose joke. One can substitute any name, ethnicity, or religious affiliation into the first line. a true equal opportunity joke.)
Kimmitt
It must be sad to hold a political philosophy which is so predictably eviscerated by mere lameasses.
kl
Unless she’s a right-winger!
Yeah, then they’d be fresh.
Paddy O'Shea
Jess: That would have been myself that referred to the President of the United States as Georgia. Mr. Rove I referred to as Karlita. The context was the Swiftboating of John Murtha. The intent was to create the impression that attacking a war hero by questioning the validity of his medals was a catty and bitchy thing to do, behavior you might expect from seething little fellows who are not fully in the masculine camp. Especially when you consider that when it was their turn to stand in harm’s way for this great and blessed land they used their elite connections to keep their pink fannies safely at home.
I hope that clears things up.
ppGaz
We had some fun with the thread, and we gutted Gutfeld.
ppGaz
Ah, the Home for the Terminally Uninteresting has let you out for the weekend?
And by the way, put on some pants.
Paddy O'Shea
ppGaz: Remember what The Manalo says: “Everyone has the right to be super fantastic!”
ppGaz
I think that was Stuart Smalley.
ppGaz
Okay, you meant this.
Maggie45
” John Cole Says:
Sheesh. Sometimes a post is just a post. I saw this via Instapundit and thought it was funny.”
It is funny. And I’m no righty. What I like is the way he points out the pomposity of some of the biggest windbags. Did you read his post on Deepak Chopra?
Paddy O'Shea
ppGaz: Are you suggesting that there is a link between Pajamas Media and Vogue?
Now there is a frightening prospect.
Noumenon
Sheesh. Sometimes a post is just a post. I saw this via Instapundit and thought it was funny.
You were right… and thanks for going to the trouble to excerpt it. (‘less that was Glenn, didn’t see it)
ppGaz
Try joking up some righties about Bush, or Limbaugh, or Rumsfeld, or Cheney, or and see how great their senses of humor are.
Lefties laugh because something is funny. Righties laugh because they want to make fun of somebody. That way you won’t notice that they fuck up everything they touch. If you can make somebody else look bad, you might make yourself look good. If you can get people to laugh at Cindy Sheehan, people might not notice what a grotesque and immoral pile of shit your war is.
When Darrell walks into the room, all life force, all spirit, all humor, all intellectual integrity, and your very breath are sucked into oblivion, disappeared, consumed, for the duration of his appearance.
Rooting for righty humor is like listening to a cat play the piano.
kl
I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, sweetie.
ppGaz
Even for you, that is really lame.
Maggie45
“ppGaz Says:
Lefties laugh because something is funny. Righties laugh because they want to make fun of somebody.”
You know the last few years I’ve found just the opposite to be true. I’m 60 years old, and have been a Democrat all my life, until last year when I finally just became totally fed up with them, and registered as an Independent, and horror of horrors voted for Bush. If anyone had even *suggested* that to me in 2000 I would have told them that they were absolutely nuts. And there are LOTS of people like me out here. The Dems better wake up before they lose more like me.
Jess
Thanks for fessing up, Paddy–I was wondering if I had imagined the whole thing. And now let me reward your nobility by gently pointing out that the bad behavior you’re describing is not characteristically female. There must be a better way for you make your point than suggesting that Bush and his cronies are behaving like such twits that they’re starting to resemble people like me. Okay, lecture over–have a nice day!
skip
“Rooting for righty humor is like listening to a cat play the piano.”
C’mon. That right-wing “flowers and candy will greet us at the border” yarn was a hoot. Kenny Adelman gets me every time, and who can listen to Rummy with dry eyes. It’s like the Catskills in the 70s on comedy night.
And Iran may end up being funnier still. Nukes in the middle east–that hasn’t been a subject for humor since Abba Eban made a solemn promise that Israel would “never be the first to introduce nuclear weapons into the middle east.” You could take that to the bank too, almost like the solemn word of the late Reza Pahlavi, Shah of Shahs.
What a bunch! The Golden Age of Armaggedon.
demimondian
You know what? I’ve heard that before, and it’s always been a lie.
So, Maggie45, let me be the first to say that I don’t think you’re for real.
kl
Okay.
Maggie45
“demimondian Says:
The Dems better wake up before they lose more like me
You know what? I’ve heard that before, and it’s always been a lie.
So, Maggie45, let me be the first to say that I don’t think you’re for real.”
Well, I know I’m for real, and that’s all that matters to me. lol
HH
“now they’re equally hilarious when they trash the GOP.”
In point of fact, the closest thing to the GOP that P&S attack are fundamentalists. But mostly they go after the left (see Team America and the Katrina episode of South Park) and it’s still funny.
I can’t believe there have been well over 100 posts arguing why one side or the other has no humor. Somewhere on LGF or Free Republic a debate is raging about why the left has no sense of humor.
PotVsKtl
I’d imagine very little matters to you if you’re publically admitting to a 2004 vote for George Bush.
Kimmitt
Um, Team America was a relentless mocking of the right-wing simplistic jingoistic movie from start to finish. Even the portrayal of Michael Moore as a suicide bomber demonstrated the insane demonization which the Right holds for people who hold views left of the American center. Sometimes art transcends the artists.
cf: The Schaivo ep of South Park, Jesus celebrating his birthday alone, Satan and Saddam’s homosexual relationship. Parker and Stone like to pretend to be iconoclastic and such, but their best stuff is always aimed at the Religious Right. Don’t listen to comedians talk about their work; they’ve always got agendas. Pay attention to which of their work absolutely sings. That’s where their hearts are.
Way to unconsciously demonstrate the utter correctness of the lefty position in this matter.
Seriously, the Left is just far funnier than the Right. Doonesbury vs. Mallard Fillmore? Buffy vs. 7th Heaven? Even Non Sequitor beats the pants off of B.C. The reason for this is painfully obvious; good funny comes from empathy.
kl
Right.
So Buffy is left-wing? How about that.
Freddy
Kimmitt: If you want to see some really funny right wing humour go to: http://timblair.net/ee/index.php/weblog/artists_transcended/
They are laughing (with you of course).
Dave
Kimmit, thanks for providing some examples from razor-sharp lefty humor from your own site:
“A Conservative is someone who…
…thinks that any problem can be solved permanently by killing three million more brown people.
…can be lead to water, but can’t be forced to think.
…lies awake at night, seething over the fact that somewhere, somebody’s grandma is not eating cat food.”
You see, Kimmit EMPATHIZES with the “three million brown people”, and with “somebody’s grandma”, and that’s what makes him so FUNNY. It’s his moral superiority over conservatives who don’t EMPATHIZE. Now THAT is the basis of GOOD FUNNY.
ppGaz
So, Don Rickles, eh?
That’s your example? Don Rickles?
In a world where there was Bob Hope, and Danny Kaye, and Red Skelton, you reach back for Don Rickles?
Actually, dumbshit, you just missed becoming a complete caricature of yourself, because Rickles’ success depended entirely on empathy. Rickles himself was a warm hearted soul who could get away with his schtick in front of the very people he was insulting because under it all, they knew that he was making fun of his own insults. Had he been a jerk, and really meant the insults, they wouldn’t have been funny.
Without empathy, that kind of humor is just the meanness of gradeschoolers …. or in the case of this thread’s context, the meanness of shithead Republicans.
But, you already knew this, right? Tell me you did.
kl
Didn’t mean to throw you! I probably should’ve gone with somebody you grew up with, like W.C. Fields. Good point, though, Rickles is totally left-wing.
tb
I’m 60 years old, and have been a Democrat all my life, until last year when I finally just became totally fed up with them, and registered as an Independent, and horror of horrors voted for Bush. If anyone had even suggested that to me in 2000 I would have told them that they were absolutely nuts.
Oh, this old song and dance. Come on. Don’t make things up. God hates a liar.
Sojourner
I’m not sure which makes you a bigger idiot: voting for Bush or admitting it.
kl
So demand a recount.
kl
Not to mention how she was trying to say that the left keeps losing ground because they insist on alienating potential allies. Yeah, sure!
HH
“Um, Team America was a relentless mocking of the right-wing simplistic jingoistic movie from start to finish.”
And thank you for proving my point. Are you remotely aware of the Parker-Stone position on the left? Paid attention to any of their comments on the movie etc., like the fact that one of their major targets was the left-wing simplistic disaster movie Day After Tomorrow? Hell, did you even see the end of it?
And now a list of people who cannot possibly ever be funny, according to the know-it-alls posting here:Adam BaldwinJim BelushiDana CarveyEmma CaulfieldRobert DuvallJamie FarrJeff FoxworthySarah Michelle GellarKelsey GrammerPatricia HeatonDennis HopperJames Earl JonesMike JudgeRich LittleNorm MacdonaldJohn MalkovichJackie MasonDennis MillerLarry MillerRicardo MontalbanLeslie NielsenGary OldmanJoe PesciLaura PreponJason PriestleyFreddie Prinze, Jr.Dennis QuaidMickey RooneyRoseanneKurt RussellAdam SandlerTom SelleckGary SinisePaul SorvinoDavid SpadeBen SteinDave ThomasRip TornVince VaughnJimmie WalkerCindy WilliamsBruce WillisJames WoodsSo almost no one here on this board has ever found any of these people funny ever…
HH
Adam Baldwin
Jim Belushi
Dana Carvey
Emma Caulfield
Robert Duvall
Jamie Farr
Jeff Foxworthy
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Kelsey Grammer
Patricia Heaton
Dennis Hopper
James Earl Jones
Mike Judge
Rich Little
Norm Macdonald
John Malkovich
Jackie Mason
Dennis Miller
Larry Miller
Ricardo Montalban
Leslie Nielsen
Gary Oldman
Joe Pesci
Laura Prepon
Jason Priestley
Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Dennis Quaid
Mickey Rooney
Roseanne
Kurt Russell
Adam Sandler
Tom Selleck
Gary Sinise
Paul Sorvino
David Spade
Ben Stein
Dave Thomas
Rip Torn
Vince Vaughn
Jimmie Walker
Cindy Williams
Bruce Willis
James Woods
So almost no one here on this board has ever found any of these people funny ever…
HH
No snappy comebacks, huh?
kl
I liked Dave Thomas. Those Wendy’s commercials were funny.