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You are here: Home / TV & Movies / Movies / ATTN: Heath Ledger

ATTN: Heath Ledger

by John Cole|  January 27, 20062:53 pm| 42 Comments

This post is in: Movies, General Stupidity

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BTW, Heath Ledger, you dick- Brokeback Mountain is showing at not one, but two theatres within 5 miles of my house.

In West Virginia.

Jackass.

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Reader Interactions

42Comments

  1. 1.

    techson

    January 27, 2006 at 3:17 pm

    Wow… they have ‘lectricity in wes verginny?

  2. 2.

    srv

    January 27, 2006 at 3:32 pm

    Yes, Hollywood has always been the summit of astute social commentary. First Heath, now Joel.

    Personally, as someone who grew up in Texas, y’all are might bit touchy.

  3. 3.

    Lines

    January 27, 2006 at 3:36 pm

    Rumor is that John Cole has a thing for his sister, just like everyone else in West Virginie

  4. 4.

    Alexandra

    January 27, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    They don’t like cowboys in West Virginia?

  5. 5.

    Ancient Purple

    January 27, 2006 at 3:58 pm

    So, are we destine to have a Heath Ledger post every week (a la Cindy Sheehan)?

  6. 6.

    ppGaz

    January 27, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    You know, we just can’t quit you, John.

  7. 7.

    Jim Allen

    January 27, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    Alexandra, they aren’t cowboys — they’re sheep herders.

    And in West Virginia, they like sheep just faaaaaahhhhhn.

  8. 8.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 4:17 pm

    It was actually a pro-family movie if you think about it. Don’t read this next line if you don’t want the movie spoiled- but the Heath character gave up a life of ranching gay bliss for the sake of his daughters it seemed to me. That’s a message all of WV can get behind.

  9. 9.

    Jim Allen

    January 27, 2006 at 4:21 pm

    re: “That’s a message all of WV can get behind.”

    Ouch.

  10. 10.

    Mac Buckets

    January 27, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    That’s a message all of WV can get behind.

    You said, “get behind.” Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

  11. 11.

    ppGaz

    January 27, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    get behind

    Watch your language, young lady.

  12. 12.

    Mac Buckets

    January 27, 2006 at 4:23 pm

    And Ranching Gay Bliss would make a good name for a band.

  13. 13.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    Dirty, dirty minds.

  14. 14.

    Faux News

    January 27, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    So, are we destine to have a Heath Ledger post every week (a la Cindy Sheehan)?

    If Cindy Sheehan makes a public statement condeming Bush and praising the movie Brokeback Moutain, I do believe we will see John’s head explode just like in the movie “Scanners”

  15. 15.

    slightlybad

    January 27, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    You know what you call a West Virginian with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?

    Bisexual.

  16. 16.

    Jaybird

    January 27, 2006 at 4:31 pm

    One of my friends said that they’ve got a working title for Brokeback Mountain II.

    “Sheepless in the Saddle”

  17. 17.

    srv

    January 27, 2006 at 4:37 pm

    So would Brokeback be a good date flick? In a Jesus General sort of way.

  18. 18.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 4:43 pm

    What’s Jesus General?

  19. 19.

    Dave Ruddell

    January 27, 2006 at 4:46 pm

    Geez, now it almost looks like John is jumping on the bandwagon of parodying the Liberal Party attack ads. If most of you don’t understand the reference, that’s okay.

  20. 20.

    ppGaz

    January 27, 2006 at 4:50 pm

    Jesus General

  21. 21.

    ppGaz

    January 27, 2006 at 4:54 pm

    Everyone in WV has a thing for John’s sister?

    Lines, please explain ……..

  22. 22.

    Slide

    January 27, 2006 at 5:24 pm

    John would sure like to make Heath Ledger “squeal like a pig”.

  23. 23.

    Slide

    January 27, 2006 at 5:40 pm

    Hey, West Virginia ain’t so bad. They rank 34th out of 50 in the Smartest State Award and they are ahead of California which is 46th. But of course they are WAY behind New York (#10).

  24. 24.

    Jaybird

    January 27, 2006 at 5:45 pm

    Brokeback is a good date movie, depending on the date.

    There is a lot of stuff in there to argue about… er, I mean, discuss.

    If you’ve both read the short story, you can talk about the stuff that was in the movie that wasn’t in the story (e.g., The Fourth of July with Ennis, Thanksgiving with Jack, Ennis’s conversations with Junior, meeting the waitress, etc…) and get into a talk about queer theory and whether or not this is a movie about “gay” cowboys or whether it’s two guys who got caught up with Brokeback and just couldn’t quit each other.

    But, really, don’t do the “dinner and movie” date. It sucks, you don’t learn anything about the other person. Table manners is pretty much it. Take them shooting. Take them to the batting cages. Take them bowling. If that’s too lowbrow, take them ballroom dancing.

    Once the relationship is established, you’ll have plenty of time to just sit in each other’s company without talking much.

  25. 25.

    The Other Steve

    January 27, 2006 at 6:02 pm

    Considering it’s not worth the time trying to convince Republicans they are wrong…

    It’s more fun to just make fun of them.

    GO HEATH LEDGER!

  26. 26.

    Davebo

    January 27, 2006 at 6:06 pm

    Why is it so hard to solve a murder in West Virginia??

    Because there are no dental records and the DNA is all the same…

    ;0)

  27. 27.

    Davebo

    January 27, 2006 at 6:08 pm

    What’s the definition of a virgin in West Virginia?

    A girl who can outrun her dad…

  28. 28.

    Ancient Purple

    January 27, 2006 at 6:09 pm

    Alexandra, they aren’t cowboys—they’re sheep herders.

    Nope, they were cowboys.

    The Jack Twist character was in the rodeo for the span of the movie and the Ennis Del Mar character herded sheep that one summer, but makes comments through out the movie about helping out at ranches and herding cattle, etc.

    My grandfather was a cowboy and Texan Ranger and often took care of sheep, goats, and other animals during his lifetime and he was never refered to as anything other than a “cowboy.”

  29. 29.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 6:21 pm

    I always think it’s pretty funny how movies and literature portray this long lasting, (practically) unrequited love, lasting about 20 years in Brokeback’s case. That is so far from reality. Most people are by nature I think ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and twenty years is way past the limit. More like 30 days is the limit before it’s becomes “Jack who?” and “Ennis who?” Time to start making some more realistic movies I think.

  30. 30.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 6:26 pm

    And since we are speaking about WV, I know John had said something about WV being one of the fattest states in the nation. I read a few weeks ago that Scotland has the highest rate of obesity in Europe and has an even higher rate of obesity than the US. They have a lackadaisical view about fitness, plus they like to deep-fry everything. Doesn’t WV have a lot of Scottish/Welsh immigrants there? That might explain it. It’s cultural.

  31. 31.

    ppGaz

    January 27, 2006 at 6:38 pm

    I always think it’s pretty funny how movies and literature portray this long lasting, (practically) unrequited love, lasting about 20 years in Brokeback’s case. That is so far from reality. Most people are by nature I think ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and twenty years is way past the limit. More like 30 days is the limit before it’s becomes “Jack who?” and “Ennis who?” Time to start making some more realistic movies I think.

    Examples?

  32. 32.

    srv

    January 27, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    But, really, don’t do the “dinner and movie” date. It sucks, you don’t learn anything about the other person. Table manners is pretty much it. Take them shooting. Take them to the batting cages. Take them bowling. If that’s too lowbrow, take them ballroom dancing.

    I usually go Italian or Asian on the first date, as the food can be awkward and leads to laughs. Nothing like putting the girl at a disadvantage when she’s not good with chop sticks.

    My experience is that comedy and “chick” flicks are usually bad date movies. But horror movies are great.

  33. 33.

    Pooh

    January 27, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    But horror movies are great.

    Except for the bruises on your forearm or lower thigh. Really scary movies like “Candyman” might even cause open wounds if you are wearing shortsleeves.

  34. 34.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    January 27, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    But, really, don’t do the “dinner and movie” date. It sucks, you don’t learn anything about the other person.

    Good first date: An observatory for stargazing and a cafe.
    Better first date: Taped Simpsons episodes and beer back at my crib.
    YMMV.

  35. 35.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    January 27, 2006 at 7:30 pm

    Did you know Heath Ledger is an Aussie?

  36. 36.

    The Other Steve

    January 27, 2006 at 7:34 pm

    Did you know Heath Ledger is an Aussie?

    Put another shrimp on the barbie!

  37. 37.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 7:36 pm

    Examples?

    Just personal observations from me and everyone I know or have seen or heard about. Just your regular long distance relationships seem to not work, let alone all the obstacles these movie characters faced for 20 years. But, I guess it’s the fantasy that helps entertain.

  38. 38.

    scs

    January 27, 2006 at 7:39 pm

    Good first date: An observatory for stargazing and a cafe.

    I agree with the Brits. I heard they go to the pubs on their first date. They think dinner is too stuffy. Better to go and sample some of that social lubricant that Tim F keeps blogging about.

  39. 39.

    JimAllen

    January 27, 2006 at 7:41 pm

    scs, I understand that they’re trying to produce a low fat, low cholesterol haggis to combat the obesity in Scotland. They tried one made of tofu, but even the Scots had better taste than that.

  40. 40.

    srv

    January 27, 2006 at 7:54 pm

    Except for the bruises on your forearm or lower thigh. Really scary movies like “Candyman” might even cause open wounds if you are wearing shortsleeves.

    I had one biting my shoulder once. Which is fine, but not with the clothes on.

    Good first date: An observatory for stargazing and a cafe.

    My vote too, but it’ll probably be raining at Coit Tower.

  41. 41.

    Davebo

    January 27, 2006 at 8:05 pm

    Want the Scotts to lose weight?

    Sell the diet food cheaper than the regular food.

    I sometimes think Scotland only exists so that the Dutch can say “look, we aren’t that cheap!”

  42. 42.

    Ancient Purple

    January 27, 2006 at 10:04 pm

    I always think it’s pretty funny how movies and literature portray this long lasting, (practically) unrequited love, lasting about 20 years in Brokeback’s case. That is so far from reality. Most people are by nature I think ‘out of sight, out of mind’ and twenty years is way past the limit. More like 30 days is the limit before it’s becomes “Jack who?” and “Ennis who?” Time to start making some more realistic movies I think.

    Then, there are those of us who have been in loving, long distance relationships for over five years and don’t see our relationship diminishing anytime in the near (or far) future.

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