Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their freedom requires your slavery.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

If you are in line to indict donald trump, stay in line.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Joe Lieberman disappointingly reemerged to remind us that he’s still alive.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

We still have time to mess this up!

Somebody needs to explain to DeSantis that nobody needs to do anything to make him look bad.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

When your entire life is steeped in white supremacy, equality feels like discrimination.

Jack be nimble, jack be quick, hurry up and indict this prick.

“Cheese and Kraken paired together for the appetizer trial.”

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

This country desperately needs a functioning Fourth Estate.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

An unpunished coup is a training exercise.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

And we’re all out of bubblegum.

You are here: Home / Open Threads / Dead Eye Dick

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85Comments

  1. 1.

    richard

    we liberals had always suggested that Dick wasn’t a ‘straight shooter’….
    ((waggles cigar and raises bushy eyebrows furiously))

  4. 4.

    neil

    Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday.

    Shouldn’t that be “_allegedly_ accidentally shot?” Or is he claiming authorization under the Use of Force resolution?

  6. 6.

    Pb

    He was hunting, but fortunately he was in Texas, wasn’t hunting bears, and thus wasn’t using an assault rifle (with silencer, natch).

    Then again, this is Cheney we’re talking about–if he was seriously hunting bears instead of quail, he’d probably just call for a carpet bombing of them before you could say posse comitatus. Do they have bears in Iraq?

  8. 8.

    Paul Wartenberg

    Three things to discern from this incident:
    1) Having a silencer in this situation wouldn’t have helped;
    2) It will be interesting to see how this gets spun by Bill or Rush;
    3) There’s a whole mess o quail in Texas laughing their butts off right about now…

  9. 9.

    Barry D

    You know, I’ve never heard of this slang use of the word ‘quail’. I’ve heard of ‘long pig’; I’ve heard of the ‘ultimate game’, and other slang terms for cannibalism and murder. But I’ve never heard of ‘quail.

  10. 10.

    Pb

    This just in–according to an administration spokesperson, there reportedly used to be bears (or bear-related programs) in Iraq, but it is suspected that they all fled to Syria (possibly with help from the Iranians) before the war, and that’s why we haven’t found any.

  12. 12.

    stickler

    How close did the injured man have to be to be injured? A 12-gauge with upland bird shot (what, 8-shot or smaller?) isn’t exactly packing a huge wallop. The pellets probably don’t travel more than a couple hundred yards.

    So what the hell was Cheney shooting at? Was the man in question a hidden handler, releasing the quail as His Majesty strode into view?

  13. 13.

    SoCalJustice

    All those military deferments (no military training/experience) finally come back to haunt Cheney.

  14. 14.

    Sock Puppet

    Rumor has it Dead Eye got quite upset with the unlucky recipient of the errant shot, telling the poor fellow to “fuck off” for getting between him and his intended quail.

  17. 17.

    Sock Puppet

    Too bad he isn’t a Bush. He could have obliterated a couple hundred thousand Iraqi kids and still had the love of a numbnuts like you.

  27. 27.

    Chris Johnson

    Dammit, SoCalJustice! I was just about to remark that if he hadn’t taken all those deferments, maybe he’d be a better shot…

    THE best burn I’ve seen in years….

  29. 29.

    Tad Brennan

    Has anybody checked his blood alcohol level? A lotta hunting accidents of this sort involve a few beers too many. I would think it would be pretty routine to check the BAL after this sort of accident–just like after a car accident if the cop has any doubts.

    So did they?

  30. 30.

    rachel

    I feel sorry for the guy that was shot; if anybody but Dickie-bird had bagged him, would people be laughing at the situuation like they are?

  31. 31.

    Paul Wartenberg

    rachel Says:

    I feel sorry for the guy that was shot; if anybody but Dickie-bird had bagged him, would people be laughing at the situuation like they are?

    If it was a high-ranking official with the NRA we’d be laughing harder.

  32. 32.

    Leonidas

    And the man he shot was not named Scooter Libby, which would have been no surprise.

    Real classy, reall classy. Someone gets shot and you make a joke. And the moonbats all laugh. The collecitive lack of class here is amazing.

    I hope that at least we can all hope that the man recovers.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    I hope that at least we can all hope that the man recovers.

    That pretty much goes without saying, you know. And if you can’t tell that we’re laughing at Cheney, and not his victim, then you really need to get a clue.

  34. 34.

    Leonidas

    You don’t think the vice president feels bad about it? Have you so thoroughly dehumanized him that you can’t imagine having normal feelings like guilt or remorse. You disgust me.

  35. 35.

    CaseyL

    Has anybody checked his blood alcohol level?

    Very funny; like any laws apply to our UnDead Veep. I sure wouldn’t want to be the cop who tries to run a blood alcohol test on the Grand Vizier: likely get send to Gitmo just for bringing up the subject.

  36. 36.

    Krista

    Have you so thoroughly dehumanized him that you can’t imagine having normal feelings like guilt or remorse.

    I can very easily imagine having normal feelings like guilt and remorse. That’s ’cause I’m human.

    What I cannot imagine, however, is Cheney having normal feelings like guilt and remorse. That’s cause he’s never shown himself to have any human feeling that would indicate a modicum of vulnerability.

    I jest. This guy was probably a friend, so I’m sure he does actually feel bad. But if you’re trying to turn Cheney into a sympathetic figure, it’s going to be a real stretch.

  37. 37.

    Leonidas

    The good news is that the guy is okay, that this will help shore up support with the NRA, and that the loony left has already made asses of themselves with various insensitive statements about it. This could be good for the elections in November, though it’s pretty bad for the guy who got shot.

  38. 38.

    srv

    Anybody already notice the blame the victim meme?

    Whittington ”came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn’t signal them or indicate to them or announce himself,” Armstrong said.

    Well, of course, when you’re hunting with others and trying to flush quail, you want to thrash about in the fields and make all sorts of noises, ruining your partners shots.

    Hunting Rule #1: Never shoot your weapon if you don’t know where your fucking hunting partners are. What a moron.

    ”The vice president didn’t see him,” she continued. ”The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good.”

    I didn’t know Harry Potter was flying around South Texas with his broomstick.

  39. 39.

    Pb

    srv,

    Yep. Also note:

    It was not reported publicly by the vice president’s office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported locally by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.

  41. 41.

    tb

    This could be good for the elections in November

    You must be on the chronic. Your party is self-destructing spectacularly from massive corruption and incompetence, but this is going to turn that around. Just how high are you right now?

  42. 42.

    Paddy O'Shea

    Leonidas: Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I can see it now:

    “Dick Cheney peppered a guy in the butt with birdshot and the Liberals all laughed. Vote Republican!”

    Yep, that’s a real election winner alright.

  43. 43.

    CaseyL

    This could be good for the elections in November.

    Leonidas, you are a trip, you are.

    “Cheney Shoots Friend; Seen as Net Gain for GOP 2006 Election Prospects.”

    Yeah, that’s soooo sensitive to the human interest side of the story.

  44. 44.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    Damnit! I start a new job and my first day of work just happens to fall on the day after a a decent sized snowstorm, and then I also miss Dick Cheney shooting someone?

    Just my freakin’ luck. Let the conspiracy theories begin!

  45. 45.

    Rowdy

    Yeah, WTF? You show up at the “hunting site” on a motorcade and just three “hunters”. One hunter separates himself from the other two and shortly thereafter manages to sound enough like a covey of quails in the brush behind the VP that the VP shoots you in the face and side. Jesus.

  46. 46.

    The Disenfranchised Voter

    Too bad he isn’t a Bush. He could have obliterated a couple hundred thousand Iraqi kids and still had the love of a numbnuts like you.

    Wow. You just got owned by Sock Puppet, “the friendly grizzly”. How does it feel?

  47. 47.

    CaseyL

    Wait a minute. I take it back. Leonidas might be onto something here.

    If Cheney’s shooting a friend is a good thing for the GOP come November, just imagine the boost if he took out most of the GOP leadership in the House and Senate. And maybe a few SAOs for dessert.

    I say it’s a hypothesis worth testing. Give the Veep his gun back and turn him loose at the next GOP Caucus meeting.

  50. 50.

    Paul Wartenberg

    Leonidas Says:

    You don’t think the vice president feels bad about it?

    Honestly? No. I’m pretty sure the only thing he’s worrying about his covering his own ass.

    Have you so thoroughly dehumanized him that you can’t imagine having normal feelings like guilt or remorse.

    Don’t blame us. All that dehumanizing? He did that to himself.

  52. 52.

    The Other Steve

    Whittington ‘’came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn’t signal them or indicate to them or announce himself,’’ Armstrong said.

    Well, either he was having flashbacks to ‘Nam, or he thought it was a Bear coming up behind him.

  53. 53.

    Ahmed Chalabi

    Or a Bush.

    HELL YEAH! You do NOT want to be in a car that plastic bitch Laura Bush is driving. She will kill you dead just like she did to her old boyfriend. AND GET AWAY WITH IT TOO!

  54. 54.

    The Other Steve

    This could be good for the elections in November, though it’s pretty bad for the guy who got shot.

    Man, just like a Republican. All you can care about is the politics of the situation. No sympathy whatsoever for the people involved.

  55. 55.

    RobertL

    This reminds me of the old SNL routine about the Claudine Longet Ski Invitational (“He has a great time going! Oh no he’s been accidently shot by Claudine Longet!” Maybe Chaney can guest host SNL and Al Franken can come back to re-work the old routine.

  61. 61.

    Al Maviva

    I wouldn’t have minded the whole thing. What the hell, accidents happen, even to conscientious hunters. That’s why the law treats guns as *inherently dangerous instrumentalities*.

    But when Cheney went back and bayonetted the dude, screaming, “THE SPIRIT OF THE BAYONET IS TO KILL, DRILL SERGEANT!” and “BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!” that was a little too much.

    And where’d he get a Beretta side-by-side with bayonet lugs? Weird.

  62. 62.

    Slide

    hey… accidents happen. But does this concern any of you?

    Monday’s hunting trip to Pennsylvania by Vice President Dick Cheney in which he reportedly shot more than 70 stocked pheasants and an unknown number of mallard ducks at an exclusive private club places a spotlight on an increasingly popular and deplorable form of hunting, in which birds are pen-reared and released to be shot in large numbers by patrons. The ethics of these hunts are called into question by rank-and-file sportsmen, who hunt animals in their native habitat and do not shoot confined or pen-raised animals that cannot escape.

    The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported today that 500 farm-raised pheasants were released yesterday morning at the Rolling Rock Club in Ligonier Township for the benefit of Cheney’s 10-person hunting party. The group killed at least 417 of the birds, illustrating the unsporting nature of canned hunts. The party also shot an unknown number of captive mallards in the afternoon.

    the Republicans are such manly men aren’t they?.

  64. 64.

    Paul Wartenberg

    moflicky Says:

    I’d still rather go hunting with Cheney than riding in a car with Ted Kennedy.

    What if it was Teddy driving you to the hunting pen with Cheney riding…oh dare I say it…shotgun?

  65. 65.

    Paul Wartenberg

    I have a serious question: even though this was a ‘hunting accident’ doesn’t it still get investigated as a criminal case? I mean, someone got hurt by a firearm, doesn’t that even merit a perfunctory investigation by the locals?

  66. 66.

    Krista

    Slide – what a horrible waste. You should never hunt more than you can consume and/or give away.

  67. 67.

    Paul Wartenberg

    Oh lordy this came in quick…

    From today’s webcomic Sore Thumbs

    Just in case you don’t get the joke, you can always goto the archives and look for the storyarc where the kids goto the beach, I think that was last Sept. or Oct. …

  68. 68.

    neil

    By the way, to counter someone’s assumption upthread:

    Alcohol was a factor in only two of the 101 total hunting accidents reported during the past three years, TPWD records show.

    I hope this ends up being a learning experience for Mr. Cheney.. or, failing that, for the nation. Early reports are that the ‘blame the victim’ strategy is falling flat. Strange, because it usually works so well.

  69. 69.

    Mr Furious

    Slide-

    It concerns me and makes me fucking sick.

    I’m not a hunter, and never will be, but my wife’s grandfather and uncles duck-hunt and I suppose that’s fine. But what Cheney does is the equivelent to shooting fish in a barrel. That’s not hunting—that’s skeet shooting with living targets. Does one get bored after shooting their 30th pheasent? 40th? 60th?

    That’s a callous disregard for life that speaks of sociopathy. That’s not a kid killing or torturing animals that’s the supposed moral leadership of the country gunning down living birds for shits and giggles.

    A serious question: When somebody can suit up for the day and kill fifty to a hundred of anything—where does one draw a line? Birds only? Or would Cheney and pals shoot deer in a corrall? Big game in a zoo? IT’s the stuff of science fiction—but these are the kind of maniacs that would be hunting people if they could.

    As far as the guy he shot, if this was one of those expeditions and he was a party to it, any sympathy for him just flew out the window. Every one of them deserves a nice “peppering” of birdshot.

    A 78 year old asshole is every bit as deserving as a cage-raised quail.

  70. 70.

    Slide

    Slide – what a horrible waste. You should never hunt more than you can consume and/or give away.

    well, we can’t assume anything here Krista, I hear Cheney has a voracious appetite. Is it really out of the question that he could consume 417 pheasants over a long weekned?

  71. 71.

    Slide

    Mr. Furious:

    It concerns me and makes me fucking sick.

    yeah, I imagine it would make most “normal” people pretty sick. Not a hunter myself but I have no problem with someone going out into the woods and engaging in the sport of hunting. But to shoot 417 out of 500 pen raised birds let loose just for the pleasure of rich white guys gunning them down is very sick as far as I am concerned. And this is the same group that will ring their hands and say how terrible video games are where teenagers shoot things up. At least that is a computer simulation. Our great VEEP likes to shoot living things – 70 fucking times – just for the fun of it. Disgusting.

  72. 72.

    Lines

    Intelligence that located the quail was faulty, and besides, the rest of the world believed that there was a quail there.

    Oh, and its his fault for getting shot.

  73. 73.

    Faux News

    But when Cheney went back and bayonetted the dude, screaming, “THE SPIRIT OF THE BAYONET IS TO KILL, DRILL SERGEANT!” and “BLOOD MAKES THE GRASS GROW!” that was a little too much.

    When oh when I am going to learn NOT to drink coffee while reading the posts on BJ? Once again coffee spit up on the keyboard.

    POTD (Post Of The Day).

  74. 74.

    The Other Steve

    Slide,

    Yep. I know several people(strange, all Republicans) who have gone hunting on those Chicken Ranches.

    Sometimes they even peg the birds to the ground so they can’t fly away.

    The only defensible argument I have heard for them is they’re useful when training hunting dogs.

    But they sure as hell aren’t sporting.

  75. 75.

    Rob

    It sure sounds like Dick is trying to lay some of the blame on the shotee.

    I haven’t hunted for some time (25 yrs), but when I did, with my uncle, RULE 1. was to only point the gun in front. Even if the breech was broken. If I had ever swung around (much less shot) that would have been my last hunting trip.

    There in NO WAY this is anything but the shooters fault.

    He needs to own up and say he f@cked up. Once again, Bush and co.’s first idea is coverup, lie and blame others.

    BTW – I learned with a 4-10 is that similar to a 28 ga. I’ve never heard of a 28 ga.

  76. 76.

    Rob

    I also don’t believe the guy that got shot is ‘just fine’.

    No one stays in ICU anymore unless they are in bad shape. There just isn’t room.

    An ER friend of mine says shotgun wounds are very nasty, you can miss pellets that travel through your body.

    PLUS this guy is 78, you know that doesn’t help. Just going to the hospital for minor elective surgery is a big deal at that age.

  78. 78.

    richard

    Anyway, isn’t this just a microcosm of the Iraq venture? Cheney aims at a quail, hits a longtime supporter: Bush aims at weapons of mass destruction/terrorist regime, hits 30,000 innocent Iraqis, 2,000+ U.S. servicemen and women, and obliterates global acceptance of U.S. military supremacy?

  79. 79.

    Richard 23

    So was the delay in reporting to give time for Cheney to sober up? How many drunk driving convictions does he have? Just asking.

    Too bad he’s not a Kennedy. He could have killed the guy and gotten away with it.

    Was that an Oswald joke?

    I’d still rather go hunting with Cheney than riding in a car with Ted Kennedy.

    Hi, Michelle ‘birdsh!t crazy’ Malkin.

  80. 80.

    Richard 23

    Local police were not allowed to question Vice President Cheney by the Secret Service…. Interesting.

    Ah, per the National Journal:

    To the astonishment of the White House press corps, McClellan implied that he was first informed about the incident late Saturday night…but it took a while before he knew that Cheney was not himself injured…and that he was informed Sunday morning that Cheney was the shooter.

    McClellan did not know about a report that the Secret Service prevented a deputy sheriff from interviewing Cheney.

    So apparently the question came from a reporter in the daily press gaggle. I’d like further verification of this….

    Editor and Publisher reports:

    White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan said today that President Bush had been told about he shooting Saturday–but not Cheney’s role in it until Sunday.

    Bush heard from whom? The police scanner? Why wouldn’t he have been told the relevant info (the identity of the shooter)?

    Curiouser and curiouser.

  81. 81.

    Al Maviva

    Rob – a 28 gauge is a nice little upland bird or rabbit gun. Lighter than a 20 and does less damage to the meat, a little more power than a 410 and more reliable in taking down the birds. It’s one of the oddball sizes though, rather like a 16 ga. And even if it is small, I still wouldn’t like to get peppered with #7 1/2 shot out of the damn thing.

  82. 82.

    Rob

    28 gauge is a nice little upland bird or rabbit gun. Lighter than a 20 and does less damage to the meat, a little more power than a 410 and more reliable in taking down the birds. It’s one of the oddball sizes though, rather like a 16 ga. And even if it is small, I still wouldn’t like to get peppered with #7 1/2 shot out of the damn thing.

    No kidding, I was with my uncle rabbit hunting, and he shot the head completely off a rabbit with a 20 ga. full choke. I don’t really remember the distance though.

    So a 28 ga. could probably do considerable damage at 30 yds. Depending where in the scatter pattern you were hit.

  83. 83.

    Slide

    Is there anything, ANYTHING, that this group of incompetent bumbleheads does that is not seeped in mystery, intrigue and secrecy? These guys lie, coverup and deceive as a matter of routine. Zero credibility with anyone that is not a kool aid drinking sycophant.

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  1. Fire!

    A round up of the best quotes about Cheney’s hunting accident. John Cole: And the man he shot was not named Scooter Libby, which would have been no surprise. James Wolcott: “Time to take the shotgun away from grandpa, who’s…