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You are here: Home / FEMA’s Solution

FEMA’s Solution

by John Cole|  April 13, 200611:38 am| 24 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

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This left me underwhelmed:

A long-awaited government projection on this city’s flood danger recommends that thousands of homes and businesses in areas ravaged by Hurricane Katrina be raised at least 3 feet.

That requirement clears the way for residents to decide how, or whether, to rebuild.

“This will enable people to get on with their lives,” said Donald Powell, the chief federal coordinator for Gulf Coast hurricane recovery.

The so-called flood advisories detail how high the water might rise in certain sections of the city during a once-in-a-100-year storm, and how well the levees would protect residents.

Actually, I guess I would be underwhelmed and underwater. I haven’t looked into the particulars, but a cursory reading of the write-up leaves me wondering how three additional feet of height helps when you are under 15 feet of water. Seems to me that is like having a serious heart attack and then stating that your plans for the future are to switch to lower sodium salt.

But then again, I am in a FOUL mood.

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24Comments

  1. 1.

    capelza

    April 13, 2006 at 11:40 am

    WHy did it take six months to come up with that 3′ as well? I got to get into the guberment…I coulda come up with THAT right off the top of my head the day after.

  2. 2.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 11:43 am

    Are you SURE they fired Brown?

  3. 3.

    John Cole

    April 13, 2006 at 11:44 am

    Maybe it is just me, but my interpretation of events in the past few months, particularly in light of some of the documents that have been produced, is that Brown is more of a sympathetic scapegoat than many of you are willing to admit.

    He should never have been in that job, but I think the failures go higher than Brown and were not caused by him.

  4. 4.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 11:45 am

    FEMA also advises homes and businesses build their new foundations out of those expanding sponge animals. As the ciy floods and the foundations get wet your or business home will be lifted out of the damaging waters by a collection of elephants and dinosaurs…protecting both life and property!

  5. 5.

    capelza

    April 13, 2006 at 11:46 am

    John I do agree, Brown was NOT the man for the job, but he was UNDER Chertoff..who has NO excuse.

  6. 6.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 11:46 am

    He should never have been in that job, but I think the failures go higher than Brown and were not caused by him.

    Agreed. I was just trying to be a wiseass.

  7. 7.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 11:48 am

    Yup. Chertoff should be out on his ass as well. I believe Brown preceded Chertoff (ie: he wasn’t HIS pick), but Brown was mostly just the guy who got caught fucking things up in front of the cameras. Those above and around him are equally to blame.

  8. 8.

    Zifnab

    April 13, 2006 at 11:49 am

    Maybe it is just me, but my interpretation of events in the past few months, particularly in light of some of the documents that have been produced, is that Brown is more of a sympathetic scapegoat than many of you are willing to admit.

    Brown was an incompetent boob. That said, he was the incompetent boob that got the axe, while Chernoff and the rest ducked their heads. It doesn’t make Brown less responsible, it just means other people aren’t being held responsible enough.

    You know, like the people who appointed him to the job.

  9. 9.

    capelza

    April 13, 2006 at 11:49 am

    Mr. Furious…couldn’t they build the houses on pontoon foundations with anchoring cables, so when the next one comes, the houses will just float up? Like houseboats…

    I’m kidding, but my idea is still better than the 3′ rule.

  10. 10.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 11:50 am

    Ah crap. I slipped up in my joke upthread. There’s nothing worse than that…

    FEMA also advises homes and businesses build their new foundations out of those expanding sponge animals. As the ciy floods and the foundations get wet your home or business will be lifted out of the damaging waters by a collection of elephants and dinosaurs…protecting both life and property!

    It pays to preview…

  11. 11.

    SeesThroughIt

    April 13, 2006 at 12:33 pm

    FEMA also advises homes and businesses build their new foundations out of those expanding sponge animals. As the city floods and the foundations get wet your or business home will be lifted out of the damaging waters by a collection of elephants and dinosaurs…protecting both life and property!

    Now that is both practical and awesome!

    But really, FEMA’s plan reminds me of when Mayor Quimby decided to move the town of Springfield a few miles down the road rather than deal with the town’s Homer Simpson-created landfill problem.

  12. 12.

    jg

    April 13, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    but I think the failures go higher than Brown and were not caused by him.

    Agreed. The failures start at the top where they believe FEMA is a wasteful gov’t agency and that the state and local gov’t should handle their own catastrophes.

  13. 13.

    Steve

    April 13, 2006 at 12:45 pm

    I was bothered by Brown’s appearance on the Colbert Report. I realize he was probably just trying to get into the spirit of a comedy show, but we’re still talking about a historical tragedy that happened on his watch. Even though he was unfairly scapegoated for much of what happened, he still agreed to take that job he was unqualified for; and bottom line, I expected him to be contrite about Katrina as opposed to giggly.

  14. 14.

    skip

    April 13, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    “a cursory reading of the write-up leaves me wondering how three additional feet of height helps when you are under 15 feet of water”

    Well, it would, if you:

    1) Couldn’t swim
    2) Had a snorkle
    3) Were 13 feet tall

  15. 15.

    tim maguire

    April 13, 2006 at 1:38 pm

    I nominate Mr. Furious for FEMA head!

    Have you patented that idea yet?

  16. 16.

    Celcus

    April 13, 2006 at 1:39 pm

    This is a bit more complicated than just “3 feet”.

    http://www.nola.com/news/t-p/frontpage/index.ssf?/base/news-5/1144914253127080.xml

    The 3 feet is the minimum elevation from the street, in all parts of the city, including areas that did not flood in Katrina, and are considered out of the flood plain. The key is the “base flood elevation” to which all structures must be built up to, or three feet, whichever is greater. The BFE’s are indicated on the following map, it also indicates the approximate height above sea level for areas considered inside the flood plain (5’ or less above sea level):
    http://www.nola.com/katrina/pdf/041206_flood_zones.pdf

    Graphic on how this affects several of the hardes hit areas of the New Orleans area:
    http://www.nola.com/katrina/pdf/raising_rules.pdf

    The guidelines are based on the “100 year” flood, which assumes the Levees remain in place. Had the levees not been incorrectly designed, this thread would not exist. Fema standards are not based on catastrophe and cannot quantify the incompetence of Corp of Engineers. I won’t go into the whole reason why we don’t design for catastrophe, but that would take a long time. Ask an engineer, and realize that no city could exist on the coast if we did.

  17. 17.

    Mr Furious

    April 13, 2006 at 1:50 pm

    Why not? I’m as qualified as anyone else Bush would nominate…

  18. 18.

    Joel

    April 13, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    Well, since they’ve already decided to rebuild the city again and again after every future flood and storm, I guess it just makes sense to rebuild as cheaply as possible. It wouldn’t make sense to build expensive houses in NOLA and then watch them wash away after the next hurricane . . . .

  19. 19.

    Joel

    April 13, 2006 at 2:36 pm

    Three thousand years ago, when the Euphrates River was meandering and flooding Babylon, what did the Babylonians do? Did they spend billions of dollars on massive public works to keep their floodplain dry? No. The packed up and built a new city at Baghdad.

    There’s a message here. I just can’t see it.

  20. 20.

    JWeidner

    April 13, 2006 at 5:27 pm

    Obviously, the houses will be built 3 feet off the street so that in the next flood, the supports will wash away and the house will just float on down the street.

    Then, when the waters recede, the resident simply stays in the new location – just jack the house up 3 feet and you’re good to go until the next flood.

  21. 21.

    Zifnab

    April 13, 2006 at 6:18 pm

    Three thousand years ago, when the Euphrates River was meandering and flooding Babylon, what did the Babylonians do? Did they spend billions of dollars on massive public works to keep their floodplain dry? No. The packed up and built a new city at Baghdad.

    Several hundred years ago when Amsterdam found itself below sea-level, they built one of the most sophisticated and efficent damns in existance and to this day Amsterdam has never suffered a flood remotely as damaging as New Orleans.

    Venice built its entire city on stilts about the water nearly 500 years ago, and it has existed successfully ever since.

    And besides, I hardly think this is the day and age to hold up Baghdad as a model for civilization.

  22. 22.

    ether

    April 13, 2006 at 8:20 pm

    Since you’re in such a good mood, now is a great time to say Tim F. is an annoying, juvenile douche and I don’t click your blog as much because of him.

    If I want snarky hysterics I go to kos and eschaton, thanks.

    I know it’s your blog.

    Just saying.

  23. 23.

    Krista

    April 13, 2006 at 9:14 pm

    That cracks me up. ether’s staying away because he thinks that Tim is an annoying, juvenile douche? He must just read the posts and not the comments section, or he’d know that we’re all much, MUCH worse than Tim.

  24. 24.

    capelza

    April 14, 2006 at 12:21 pm

    I’ve found that people that drop by and call someone else an annoying juvenile douche and then leave are generally annoying juvenile douches themselves. The mature douche sticks around…

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