In other Cole related summer news, my cat, Tunch, seems to have developed two pieces of matted hair on both sides of his tail on his back. I really do not know how to describe this, other than it felt like he had gum in his hair and it matted down. I tried repeatedly to brush them out, but the brush would just get stuck. And these mats of hair are super hard to describe other than that they felt like dreadlocks feel- just masses of oil and body hair.
At any rate, like a good West Virginian, my first thought was a home remedy, so I started my day yesterday with a cup of coffee and then I shaved my cat. Well- I partially shaved my cat. I shaved off the back hindquarters around the afflicted area, and took it down far enough to see if there was a rash or sore that might be causing this. There was not.
At any rate, I was wondering if any of you have ever had this problem with your little ones and have some answers. And, btw- you have not lived until you have held down a squirming cat and shaved his back with an electric razor. My cuts and scratches should heal in no time, and I am putting Vitamin E on them.
Krista
Is he an outdoor cat at all? He might have been scratching his butt up against a tree and gotten sap on it. Or, he might have been hiding up in the undercarriage of your car (cats do that) and gotten grease on his butt.
No idea, really. You could retrieve the hair you shaved off, and maybe see if someone in the chem department at work could figure out what the oily stuff is, but you’d probably get laughed at.
Matt
I’ve heard feeding the cat butter or oily sardines can help do the trick – sounds funny, I know. Hope your wounds heal. I can only imagine what strength and patience it must have taken too shave your cat!!!
Punchy
Wow! Me too!
Signed,
Jenna Jameson
Tony Alva
I’m assuming Tunch is a long hair. Either way, the mats are fairly common and shouldn’t worry you at all. Probably could have saved some of your skin had you known this before. One of our old long haired baby’s used to get them from time to time and we’d just cut them out with sewing scissors.
I feel for you on the war wounds. 10 years ago my wife, then girl friend, attempted to save the money and give flea treatments in our kitchen sink to our three cats to save the money we had little of at the time.
Even with gloves on, I was cut to ribbons. My only payback was seeing each of my three cats look so pathetic with their big fuzzy heads and their wetted down skinny little bodies running around. They knew I was laughing at them. Probably why they tore me up so badly I guess.
Bill from INDC
You are one kinky bastard, John Cole.
canuckistani
If you had just used a different word to describe your cat, you could have had enough google hits to last for years.
CaseyL
First, you deserve some kind of Reward for Valor.
Second, it’s too bad you didn’t have someone film the event. A guy electric-shaving his cat? Oh, man, if you’d posted that one, not only would the downloads have crashed entire server farms, but you would’ve had a video that would’ve won every and any Bizzare Video Contest hands (and paws) down.
As to the mats themselves: They could be tree sap or grease, if he goes outdoors. Could be secretions from the scent glands at the base of the tail, used for marking territory, but you’d smell that for sure. Could be a nascent skin condition, maybe a reaction to anti-flea cream or spray or even an allergic reaction to flea bites.
Keep an eye on the area, is all I can say.
The Other Steve
I comb at least once a month, often once a week during shedding season. That helps prevent matting and also hairballs. Just cut the matting off with scissors, although you have to be careful not to cut the skin. Just do it slow with the tip of the scissors. They also sell special combs which will help pull them out.
As for war wounds.
I use Nail Clippers on my cats. Every time I brush them, I trim the nails. Just clip a little bit, just keeps them from being sharp.
I do this especially before bathing them. If you thought shaving a cat is hard, trying giving a cat a bath. :-)
Marcus Wellby
Same thing with our cat. She is old and rather chubby and just can’t clean certain spots like she once did. I was able to gently comb them out — came out in two large matted chunks. She hasn’t gotten them since, but my sister in law says that her cat has the same problem.
Marcus Wellby
PS — I also tried bathing them out first since my cat does not dislike water. That didn’t help at all, though seeing her soaking wet and looking rather rat-like was ammusing.
Steve
My wife thinks you’re kinda nuts for not just using scissors to cut out the matted hair. “He’s just asking to be scratched!” Her family is a bunch of crazy cat ladies, mind you (just kidding honey!) so I think she knows whereof she speaks.
rachel
I started my day yesterday with a cup of coffee and then I shaved my cat.
Well, that’ll wake you up even better than plain espresso, I bet.
rachel
Oh, BTW, when I was a kid, my babysitter used to stick her cats on a mesh screen to wash them. Their claws would stick to the mes, allowing her to shampoo them in peace, she said.
Krista
I’m so glad I have a dog. He’s long-haired, so I do have to clip his butt so that he doesn’t get willnots, but the worst he does is try to sit down when I approach him with the clippers.
Nutcutter
The hair securing the lumps will grow out and provide more room for trimming them off, but you have to wait 2-3 weeks. Otherwise the lumps are too close to the skin to cut off without cutting the skin.
The matted lumps will not hurt the cat as much as they will worry you. Be patient and let them grow away from the skin a little bit, they usually will.
If not, take the cat to the vet, have them tranquilize the cat and take off the lumps of matted fur. Or they may have other suggestions, they deal with this all the time.
Good luck.
— Signed, My Four Cats
Rusty Shackleford
Next time take your cat to a pet groomer and have him clipped properly – just a suggestion. The first time you cut them you’ll feel bad that you wanted to save $30. Get Tunch a “lion cut” (full mane, paw and tail puffs) – he’ll be a hit with everyone who sees him and he’ll get through the summer in comfort and mat free.
Punchy
Krista–
Ever try and clip their nails? Talk about Pavlovian training. Once she views those clippers, all hell breaks loose. Actually, ditto that for the vet’s office, too.
Katinula
I second Rusty. I used to have a long haired cat “Sammy” and he got sooo many mats that we finally took him to Petsmart and had the “lion” done. Needless to say, he felt a little effiminate, but otherwise, he loved it. They love to be pet afterwards b/c they can actually feel the petting now. Its definitely worth it b/c other than the mats, I’m sure you get lots of nice little hairball presents from him grooming himself.
If Petsmart isnt around or their groomers arent good, find another place. The key is…FAST and NO BATH. Just a clip.
Mary
Our 17 year old tabby has a short coat but a dense undercoat, and she gets matted in exactly the same area if we forget to groom her on a regular basis. We use a rake that is a metal loop set into a plastic handle. One edge of the loop has small, even teeth. Maggie LOVES being brushed with this all over. Our other cat doesn’t care for it, but he has a very fine coat and doesn’t need it.
If a matt does develop, gentle, persistent stroking with a rake (divided up into several sessions if the cat gets antsy) should remove it.
PetSmart has a slightly different model here.
Nikki
Advantage Tony Alva’s cats. Bleeding scratches beat wet cat hair any day.
BTW, John, what punishment has your cat chosen to dole out? Or are you still in the “anxiously waiting” stage?
Krista
Punchy – he’s actually really good with the nail clipping. No problems there. He’s not that bad with the grooming, either, but it’s hard to get his inner legs and around his parts. He cries in the bath, though…it’s pitiful.
I’m still working on trying to brush his teeth. He lets me get the front ones, but not the back ones.
Damned at Random
My old long hair can’t groom effectively anymore (arthritic lumbar spine) and hates combing. The easiest way I’ve found to handle mats is to clip the ends with scissors (not too close to the skin) then shave with a disposable to finish as needed. I wouldn’t come at her with an electric razor, the noise would freak her out. If I do it while she’s eating her canned food, she doesn’t mind at all.
Jim Allen
And now, you’re going to teach it to walk backwards?
Minute
Balloon-Juice:
Come for the political commentary
Stay for the cat porn!
rjudel
My oldest cat has the same issue from time to time, mostly due to her increasing indifference to grooming herself. I eventually pick or cut out the mats, or they fall out by themselves- usually somewhere inconvenient, like in a chili.
Punchy
I’m waiting for Slide to come forth bitching about Mr. Cole’s new focus on beer (done) AND cats (coming soon) instead of incessantly ranting on the ME, day in and day out.
At least we haven’t had any mad posts on that carrot top, Cindy Whats-her-face
Jim Allen
OK, that’s it — this has gone beyond silly and straight to disgusting. If I want to get nauseous, I’ll go look for something Darrell has posted.
ET
What the hell! You shaved your cat …. yourself!?! If I had to do something I would take him to the vet and put him under some sort of drug or at least have several people hold him down. shudder.
May it have something to do with the scent glands? I know there are some by the tail but I think they are on the sides of the rear legs by the tail.
ET
I forgot to add – you put this under “general stupidity” – which I assume was your “general stupidity” and not the cats. You are going to have enough problems with Tunch after the shaving bit without him knowing you catagorized (pun unavoidable) a post about him as “general stupidity”.
salvage
One of our cats has two of them on his back. He seems very proud of them and gets pissy if we mess with them.
They don’t seem to bother him any.
Tunch
Meow? Meow meow meow meooow!
Japanese: nya? nya nya nya nyyaaa~!
Richard 23
I think it’s only fitting that Tunch has the last word.
D’oh!
The Random Yak
Yeah, our Maine Coon cat, Wookie, gets those weird “tail-butt mats” from time to time. Seems like it’s a summer shedding issue, and the only way around it seems to be uberbrushing. Or (as you – and as it happens, I – chose) scissors.
Chloeindia
Count yourself luck that cuts and scratches are all you are suffering. You could have died, you know. :-)
J. King
Many years ago, I lived in the same house as a 2 year old. The 2 year old found a gallon bottle of vegetable oil and poured it all over the kitchen floor and herself. 2 year old’s mother came into the kitcheen, swooped up the two year old and took her away to bathe, intending subsequently to clean the kitchen floor. While the 2 year old was being bathed, the resident retarded persian cat entered kitchen and rolled in the vegetable oil. Six adults lived in that house, none of whom was willing to deal with the all-over oily retarded persian cat. Said cat was rolled into a towel and taken to the vet where he was shaved entirely except for his head, his legs below where knees would be if cats had knees, and the tip of his tail. As I recall, the retarded cat left his mark(s) on the vet. That cat was so pissed that none of the six adults in the house dared to go to sleep for weeks afterward. He may have been retarded but he knew how to hold a grudge.
Lesson: Don’t go to sleep, John.
capelza
I have tears from laughing so hard at this and the entire thread. Thanks guys.
John, everyone has already given you the right suggestions. All I can say is been there, done that, have carried the scars for 23 years. I hire people to get hurt now.
craigie
Thank dog for blogs, eh? Otherwise, you’d have had to shave your cat and keep it to yourself. The horror!
Beej
J. King,
You gave me the best laugh I’ve had all year! Thank you, thank you!
P.S. How do I get Diet Pepsi out of the keyboard?
Corrigan
Every now and then when I find myself frustrated to maximum capacity with the lack of intelligence plaguing politics in America (more now than then), I visit Balloon-Juice to find out what is on the mind of my bluntly honest friend John Cole.
Now all of the sudden I have forgotten about Israel and stem-cell vetos, and I find myself utterly amused with the image of John shaving the back end of a cat. Knowing that John only has two hands, I am still debating how he actually held the clippers and the cat. Better yet, what was in that coffee so early in the morning to make you believe that such a feat was possible? It must have been Irish coffee. I, top of the morning to ya pussy cat.
The next time you seek to inflict such harm to yourself just watch Fox News for a whole evening.