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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal

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Since the Foley issue is a big deal, and people want answers to these serious questions, I have a modest proposal.

Let’s waterboard Foley, Hastert, Boehner, Reynolds, and all of their aides, as well as anyone else in the GOP leadership. After all, they all voted for it, it is the best way to get answers (really! Dean Barnett said so!), and it isn’t like it is torture.

I support this immediate intelligence gathering operation. The safety of our children hinges on our ability to ‘ask questions.’

*** Update ***

According to commenters, John Aravosis has already come up with this idea. Suffice it to say, if John Aravosis and I are on the same sheet of music, I am so far off the GOP reservation I might as well be blogging from France.

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    Pb

    Bad idea. I can see the Republican interrogations now.

    “Admit that you didn’t know anything about this!”

    “Ok! I didn’t know!”

  6. 6.

    tBone

    Jeez, John. Quit drinking the moonbat Kool-Aid. It’s obvious that the only people who need to be waterboarded are George Soros, Melanie Sloan, the entire ABC news department, and Nancy Pelosi. Oh, and Michael Moore (just cuz). We need to know what they knew and when they knew it.

    Also, Barney Frank is gay.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    Americablog beat me to it.

    If Aravosis and I are on the same page, I am so far off the GOP reservation I might as well be blogging from France.

  10. 10.

    craigie

    This is an excellent idea. Besides, since torture is nothing more than a university prank, they’ll probably love it.

  14. 14.

    tBone

    Where were Foley, Hastert, Boehner, Reynolds, and all of their aides, as well as anyone else in the GOP leadership captured fighting US troops out of uniform in violation of the Geneva Conventions? Which battlefield were they captured on?

    Foley held up a defense appropriations bill so he could whack off to a steamy IM exchange with a page. Does that count? He was out of uniform, at least.

  15. 15.

    Paul L.

    Foley held up a defense appropriations bill so he could whack off to a steamy IM exchange with a page. Does that count? He was out of uniform, at least.

    Sure. We’ll have to have a woman do it or he might enjoy it.

  16. 16.

    Dreggas

    Actually given the aid and comfort that Hastert et. al. have provided to the enemy vis-a-vis the covering up of this scandal, under legislation passed by both houses of congress, I say we do the following:

    1. have them declared enemy combatants.

    2. Ship them to Gitmo.

    3. Torture them

    4. Suspend their Habeus rights

    5. keep them there indefinitely.

    After all if it’s good enough for every other American citizen to face the above threats then so should they.

    And forget waterboarding. If I recall there is a stress position where they have to bend over and grab their ankles. We’ll start there and leave the rest to your imaginations.

  19. 19.

    Ras_Nesta

    Dreggas, you think it’s possible to put Hastert into an ankle-grabbing “stress position”?

    I doubt Denny has seen his ankles since the Nixon Admnistration!

  20. 20.

    John D.

    Dreggas, you think it’s possible to put Hastert into an ankle-grabbing “stress position”?

    With enough block and tackle, anything is possible.

  21. 21.

    Dreggas

    Ras_nesta

    All the more stressful then isn’t it?

    It would be fun to try though, Hell even put it on PPV or something, start a real Page protection program with the money raised by the proceeds.

    Of course their would need to be black ovals and such if there was any nudity, after all there are some things you can’t UN-SEE and the thought of it is enough that many would want to wash their eyes out with bleach.

  23. 23.

    Tsulagi

    Let’s waterboard Foley, Hastert, Boehner, Reynolds, and all of their aides, as well as anyone else in the GOP leadership.

    You Birkenstock wearing, patchouli smelling, Cindy Sheehan candle toting wuss! (just kidding) If there is even a 1% chance of a thought of a ticking time bomb near a child receiving another pervy IM by those covering it up, it’s time to electrify that waterboard! A little 240v loosens lips. Jack Bauer said so.

  24. 24.

    Punchy

    UH….BOMBSHELL COMING!! (not my words…the ACTUAL words now on abcnews.com)

    I’m guessing he’s going to admit tossing some salad. Then admit to facing charges of (fill in the crime).

    If so, Kiss FatAss Hastert goodbye.

  25. 25.

    Dreggas

    If there is even a 1% chance of a thought of a ticking time bomb near a child receiving another pervy IM by those covering it up, it’s time to electrify that waterboard! A little 240v loosens lips. Jack Bauer said so.

    You mean a ticking incoming AIM message?

    Of course we all know what this means though, the child predators have left mySpace, are pursuing carreers in politics and have once again infested AOL.

  26. 26.

    les

    An actual C-SPAN headline:

    Rep. Boehner: Speaker Hastert Had Responsibility to Probe Foley

    EEeewwww….does anyone deserve that?

  27. 27.

    Skip

    We do not need waterboarding. Not when the GOP is obviously already busy employing “alternative measures” behind closed doors.

  28. 28.

    The Other Steve

    I get this suspicion that the polling the Republicans have done shows a substantial loss this November.

    What we are seeing now is the jockeying for position. After a major loss there is always going to be name calling and blame tossing. So the various parties are getting in there a bit early to make sure they end up on top.

  32. 32.

    Andrew

    I really like the juxtaposition on the ABC News site of “Foley Bombshell Coming” with the merely sordid “Foley Had Internet Sex While Awaiting House Vote.”

  36. 36.

    Dreggas

    Next Republican Talking point on torture.

    Stress positions are not stressful at all we allowed republican congressman and “position expert” Mark Foley test them on House Guinea pigs err Pages.

  37. 37.

    DougJ

    Let’s waterboard Foley, Hastert, Boehner, Reynolds, and all of their aides, as well as anyone else in the GOP leadership.

    Great — now that they now they’ll be able to acclimate themselves. Now they’ll never talk. When will the leaks end?????

  39. 39.

    Perry Como

    We do not need waterboarding. Not when the GOP is obviously already busy employing “alternative measures” behind closed doors.

    Dinner at a steak house and a ride in a BMW?

  42. 42.

    Lupin

    Monsieur Jean Coleu has now joined the ranks of the godless, er, what’s the opposite of a sodomite?

  43. 43.

    Bob In Pacifica

    The idea of torturing them on CSPAN and allowing call-ins is wonderful. I can see the moderator asking the caller from Racine, Wisconsin to shorten the question because Mister Foley appears to be drowning.

  45. 45.

    2Hotel9

    I am 100% in favor of this. Waterboard all members of Congress, and all members of all State Legislatures. Every single person who holds an elected office.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. […] to commenters, John Aravosis has already come up with this idea. Suffice it to say, if John Aravosis and I are on the same sheet of music, I am so far off the GOPreservation I might as well be blogging from France. […]

  3. […] … the John Cole way, who says Since the Foley issue is a big deal, and people want answers to these serious questions, I have a modest proposal. Let’s waterboard Foley, Hastert, Boehner, Reynolds, and all of their aides, as well as anyone else in the GOP leadership. After all, they all voted for it, it is the best way to get answers, and it isn’t like it is torture. […]