• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Since we are repeating ourselves, let me just say fuck that.

If America since Jan 2025 hasn’t broken your heart, you haven’t loved her enough.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Republicans firmly believe having an abortion is a very personal, very private decision between a woman and J.D. Vance.

There is no right way to do the wrong thing.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

We still have time to mess this up!

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

I might just take the rest of the day off and do even more nothing than usual.

This chaos was totally avoidable.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

My right to basic bodily autonomy is not on the table. that’s the new deal.

Every one of the “Roberts Six” lied to get on the court.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

Dear elected officials: Trump is temporary, dishonor is forever.

The gop is a fucking disgrace.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Too often we confuse noise with substance. too often we confuse setbacks with defeat.

Narcissists are always shocked to discover other people have agency.

Mobile Menu

  • Seattle Meet-up Post
  • 2025 Activism
  • Targeted Political Fundraising
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • COVID-19
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • 2025 Activism
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • Targeted Fundraising!
You are here: Home / I Can’t Quit You, Cindy Sheehan!

I Can’t Quit You, Cindy Sheehan!

by John Cole|  October 17, 200610:55 am| 51 Comments

This post is in: General Stupidity

FacebookTweetEmail

By popular request, a Cindy Sheehan update:

Over the summer I had a hysterectomy, and um, I got my “parts” back. I thought I could just [inaudible] on eBay, you know, “[inaudible] Cindy Sheehan’s uterus.” And so I planted it in the garden where the bush, it’s a pretty bush… It’s so funny ’cause me and my children, we’ll always be a part of, of Crawford, Texas. Long after people forgot the horror of the Bush regime, long after, you know, we’re forgotten. We’ll always, our DNA will always be in the land…”

I can’t decide if that is more weird than gross, but my overall reaction is ‘yuck.’

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « It’s Official
Next Post: The Democrats are Worse »

Reader Interactions

51Comments

  1. 1.

    Pb

    October 17, 2006 at 11:06 am

    Ok, so explain this to me. A woman buries her own human remains on her own property… and the immediate ‘conservative’ reaction is… can we *arrest* her for it?

  2. 2.

    Punchy

    October 17, 2006 at 11:16 am

    In 3 years they’re going to have the biggest Uterus Tree in all of Crawford. When the wind blows past the leaves, it will give a whining, wailing sound, and it will drip sap, much like the soft tears of a greiving mother…

    They will declare it a whole new species…the Cindus Sheehaniniganis Copious Bushhatetus…

  3. 3.

    chopper

    October 17, 2006 at 11:23 am

    Ok, so explain this to me. A woman buries her own human remains on her own property… and the immediate ‘conservative’ reaction is… can we arrest her for it?

    of course. ‘property rights’ only belong to the party faithful.

  4. 4.

    srv

    October 17, 2006 at 11:36 am

    If she’d just put it on eBay, we could have bought it for you John.

  5. 5.

    Mr Furious

    October 17, 2006 at 11:39 am

    Worst. Quote. Ever.

  6. 6.

    Mary

    October 17, 2006 at 11:50 am

    Damn. I had a myomectomy last week and I didn’t even think of getting my “parts” back. Probably because this ain’t planting season in Toronto.

  7. 7.

    Paddy O'Shea

    October 17, 2006 at 11:52 am

    Hey, Gandhi drank his urine. And he sells more merch these days than Led Zeppelin.

    Love her or hate her, Cindy’s got something none of us will ever have. A Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

  8. 8.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 11:53 am

    I’d think this was a cute thread, if the blog routinely went after weirdness in the news in general.

    But it doesn’t, so what’s the point? That this ditzy woman had the stones to camp out in Crawford and decry this stupid war before a lot of other people had the guts to step up and say basically the same things, so … that makes her a legitimate target for ridicule?

    Yeah, that’s it. That must be it.

    SEe, what’s important isn’t whether the war is a disgrace to the country. What’s important is whether the people saying it are funny looking and odd. That’s what’s important.

    It’s the worldview of the perpetual 14-year-old.

  9. 9.

    John Cole

    October 17, 2006 at 11:55 am

    Paste this is why I posted this, PPGAZ.

  10. 10.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 11:57 am

    I know. Just giving you a hard time. It’s what I do.

    And I am ill paid for it.

  11. 11.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Hint: The classy thing to do do here would be to ignore Sheehan. She served a purpose, and is long past the point of fighting above her weight class.

  12. 12.

    Retief

    October 17, 2006 at 12:00 pm

    Alright so what would the boys and girls here do after the doctors handed you back your reproductive organs. Personally I’m thinking book ends, a la Bronze Baby Shoes.

  13. 13.

    Face

    October 17, 2006 at 12:04 pm

    that makes her a legitimate target for ridicule?

    I’m thinking her group hug with Hugo Chavez put a mighty large kibosh on the “sympathize with her” meme. Had she stuck with simply getting bounced from SOTU addresses and setting up shop in Crawford once a year, there’d be more empathy for her plight. Instead, she hadda pull out all the stops and do everything short of taking donkey punches from Osama Bin Forgottin to prove her hatred, and in doing so killed a lot of support…

  14. 14.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 12:13 pm

    she hadda pull out all the stops

    Right. the one thing you don’t want to do in the face of a stupid, useless, dishonest, ill concived and worse-run war is PULL OUT ALL THE STOPS.

    I mean, really! The nerve!

  15. 15.

    Pb

    October 17, 2006 at 12:16 pm

    Face,

    Hugo Chavez didn’t convince me that George W. Bush is Satan–but on the other hand, George W. Bush hasn’t convinced me that Hugo Chavez is Satan, either. If Cindy Sheehan wants to give him a hug, more power to her, and vice versa; I’ve never met either one of them.

  16. 16.

    srv

    October 17, 2006 at 12:20 pm

    Hint: The classy thing to do do here would be to ignore Sheehan. She served a purpose, and is long past the point of fighting above her weight class.

    In the end, Cindy will have done more to justify a Peace Prize than 8 years of George Bush.

  17. 17.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 12:22 pm

    Hugo Chavez didn’t convince me that George W. Bush is Satan—but on the other hand, George W. Bush hasn’t convinced me that Hugo Chavez is Satan, either. If Cindy Sheehan wants to give him a hug, more power to her, and vice versa; I’ve never met either one of them.

    Satan just called, and said to please stop picking on his boys.

  18. 18.

    srv

    October 17, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    Saddam lover

    Terrorist lover

    Hugo lover

    Difference is, two work for the gov’t.

  19. 19.

    Tsulagi

    October 17, 2006 at 12:36 pm

    LOL. I could have gone all day, or much much longer, without the visual of Cindy retrieving her “parts.” At least I have the serenity of knowing her uterus will forever be close to a particular Bush when he’s in Crawford. Maybe it’ll make him a little horny. Get those two airheads together in Crawford at the same time and the thermals must be great for hang gliding.

  20. 20.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 12:42 pm

    Get those two airheads together in Crawford

    { voice of Goofy }

    A-yuk! Yep, those two are { chuckle } like peas in a pod.

    /goofy

    Well, if Bush sent his daughters to Iraq to get killed, and Sheehan were busy destroying the world, they would be. Sort of.

  21. 21.

    canuckistani

    October 17, 2006 at 1:23 pm

    Damn. I had a myomectomy last week and I didn’t even think of getting my “parts” back. Probably because this ain’t planting season in Toronto.

    Plant ’em like bulbs, and see what comes up in the spring. Unless you live downtown, in which case keep them the hell away from my property values.

  22. 22.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 1:24 pm

    They gave her her parts back? Pardon my saying, but that’s really damn weird. Is that standard practice?

  23. 23.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 1:27 pm

    Plant ‘em like bulbs, and see what comes up in the spring. Unless you live downtown, in which case keep them the hell away from my property values.

    They could just change the name of the neighbourhood to Fibroid Hill instead of Forest Hill.

  24. 24.

    Mary

    October 17, 2006 at 1:31 pm

    Not in Toronto it isn’t. Maybe it’s an American thing, like getting your own copy of the surgery video afterwards.

    canuckistani, I live in the old stockyards area near the Junction, so a planting may be in keeping with the ambience of the neighbourhood, but I’ll still skip planting what I have not got and will put in my tulips and irises this weekend as planned.

  25. 25.

    Face

    October 17, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    If Cindy Sheehan wants to give him a hug, more power to her, and vice versa; I’ve never met either one of them.

    Just wait until Sheehan starts sending Valentines to Saddam and “Get Well Soon” missives to the Jonger. How long must we wait until she three-ways with Castro and Khaddafi? She’s going for her 30 minutes when 15 would have sufficed.

    I have to believe planting a uterus in the garden can only serve one purpose–to grow uterus-flavored carrots and squash. Cindy Salads!!!!

  26. 26.

    Kimmitt

    October 17, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    Enh, I buried my cats, and I feel like a piece of us will be on that property. Much less something which was once part of me.

  27. 27.

    Pb

    October 17, 2006 at 2:07 pm

    They gave her her parts back?

    I believe they do that primarily because of certain religious beliefs people have–some people can be quite touchy about their body parts / precious bodily fluids / etc. I seem to remember that they offered me my appendix back when I had to have it removed; I declined. After all, the darn thing tried to kill me!

  28. 28.

    Tsulagi

    October 17, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Well, if Bush sent his daughters to Iraq to get killed, and Sheehan were busy destroying the world, they would be. Sort of.

    Sorry, TZ, I’m not a Cindy fan. But if it’s any consolation, I think she’d be every bit as capable being president and CIC as Bush. Hell, maybe even more so. She can probably pronounce “nuclear.”

  29. 29.

    Tim F.

    October 17, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Cindy’s got something none of us will ever have. A Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

    Speak for yourself. Nominations are never made public so you guys will never know about the five or six that I have racked up so far.

    The classy thing to do do here

    You must be lost.

  30. 30.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    Cindy’s got something none of us will ever have. A Nobel Peace Prize nomination.

    I have an actual Nobel Peace Prize. So there! (It was bequeathed, not awarded, but it’s still got to count for something, right?)

  31. 31.

    Punchy

    October 17, 2006 at 2:40 pm

    I seem to remember that they offered me my appendix back when I had to have it removed; I declined.

    I just think this would be too cool. A piece of me sitting in a jar that I could talk to when I’m bored. Ask him how he misses the whole digestive process….get some insight on how all that McDonalds is really being received down there.

  32. 32.

    Jon H

    October 17, 2006 at 2:47 pm

    Well, at least she didn’t plant it in Sadr City.

    I heard this weekend about a couple who wanted to honor the late Steve Irwin. So when their baby was born, they named it Irwin. And they fed the afterbirth to their pet iguanas.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 2:49 pm

    I just think this would be too cool. A piece of me sitting in a jar that I could talk to when I’m bored. Ask him how he misses the whole digestive process….get some insight on how all that McDonalds is really being received down there.

    Well yeah, ’cause if you talked to your appendix while it was still in your body, that would just be weird.

  34. 34.

    Mary

    October 17, 2006 at 2:56 pm

    Krista, is it Pearson’s Nobel Peace Prize that you were bequeathed, or some furriner’s Nobel?

  35. 35.

    Bombadil

    October 17, 2006 at 3:09 pm

    They gave her her parts back?

    My mechanic does the same thing. I think the last time it was a set of spark plugs.

  36. 36.

    Punchy

    October 17, 2006 at 3:58 pm

    Well yeah, ‘cause if you talked to your appendix while it was still in your body, that would just be weird.

    Oh? Like you don’t talk to body parts?

  37. 37.

    docg

    October 17, 2006 at 4:24 pm

    Ooohhh! A new profit center for mohels!

  38. 38.

    Tom

    October 17, 2006 at 4:48 pm

    No doubt Crawford earthworms are hard at work pushing up her “body parts”, saying, “No, thanks, Peace Mom.”

  39. 39.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 4:49 pm

    I think she’d be every bit as capable being president and CIC as Bush

    I agree, but then so would my neighbor’s chihuahua.

  40. 40.

    ThymeZone

    October 17, 2006 at 4:51 pm

    You must be lost.

    I was lost, but now I’m frowned.

  41. 41.

    Kyle

    October 17, 2006 at 6:23 pm

    No doubt Crawford earthworms are hard at work pushing up her “body parts”, saying, “No, thanks, Peace Mom.”

    Ha ha! Well said, Tom! The earthworms … yes.

  42. 42.

    Bruce Moomaw

    October 17, 2006 at 6:36 pm

    Well, it’s certainly a novel variation on “I Left My Heart In San Francisco”. However, it also serves as further evidence that if Cindy Sheehan had not existed, Karl Rove would have had to invent her.

  43. 43.

    DougJ

    October 17, 2006 at 7:28 pm

    Hey, Gandhi drank his urine.

    Clinton did it first. That’s where Gandhi got the idea.

  44. 44.

    CaseyL

    October 17, 2006 at 8:27 pm

    Well, it makes more sense to bury the bits back into the earth than incinerate them and add to pollution.

    Sometimes I wonder if there are ecological consequences to humanity’s 5,000+ year tradition of NOT returning our biomass to the ecosystem.

    Let me note that filling dead bodies with formaldehyde and other Sta-Fresh! chemicals makes them toxic, and therefore unfit for composting.

    But I do wonder about that.

  45. 45.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 8:32 pm

    Krista, is it Pearson’s Nobel Peace Prize that you were bequeathed, or some furriner’s Nobel?

    A furriner. :) It was bequeathed to the non-profit that I work for. Those suckers are surprisingly heavy for their size.

  46. 46.

    Bruce Moomaw

    October 17, 2006 at 9:17 pm

    Thats’s because they’re filled with uranium.

  47. 47.

    Krista

    October 17, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    Thats’s because they’re filled with uranium.

    Huh. So that’s why my pee glows in the dark…

  48. 48.

    Geoduck

    October 18, 2006 at 1:13 am

    A book for JC to add to his reading list: Melanie Morgan’s American Mourning, which details among other things Cindy’s supposed addiction to internet porn.

  49. 49.

    Pb

    October 18, 2006 at 1:50 am

    Melanie Morgan’s American Mourning, which details among other things Cindy’s supposed addiction to internet porn.

    I don’t know that that’s even an accurate characterization of the smear; from here:

    Cindy Sheehan’s former sister-in-law says “Cindy had become addicted to online chat rooms of a pornographic nature. She had many men communicating with her. ” When she left her home, she also left behind evidence of her pornography addictions and her dalliances. The Sheehan family’s deterioration was punctuated by painful evidence of Cindy’s liaisons in hundreds of explicit e-mails and instant messages.

    What we don’t know, however, is if she was just doing research. For all we know, scs is really Cindy Sheehan!

  50. 50.

    The Other Steve

    October 18, 2006 at 8:19 am

    Huh. So that’s why my pee glows in the dark…

    Don’t worry, it’s the non-radioactive nucular uranium.

  51. 51.

    The Other Steve

    October 18, 2006 at 8:22 am

    A book for JC to add to his reading list: Melanie Morgan’s American Mourning, which details among other things Cindy’s supposed addiction to internet porn.

    I heard she talked to Mark Foley in the chat rooms and gave him pointers.

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

Image by MomSense (5/10.25)

Recent Comments

  • Geminid on Late Night Open Thread: #TSLA Troubles (May 21, 2025 @ 6:55am)
  • Jeffro on Parsing the Pandemic Pause (May 21, 2025 @ 6:53am)
  • Ten Bears on Parsing the Pandemic Pause (May 21, 2025 @ 6:49am)
  • Suzanne on Parsing the Pandemic Pause (May 21, 2025 @ 6:49am)
  • p.a. on Parsing the Pandemic Pause (May 21, 2025 @ 6:38am)

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
War in Ukraine
Donate to Razom for Ukraine

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

Meetups

Upcoming Ohio Meetup May 17
5/11 Post about the May 17 Ohio Meetup

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Links)
Balloon Juice Anniversary (All Posts)
Fix Nyms with Apostrophes

Hands Off! – Denver, San Diego & Austin

Social Media

Balloon Juice
WaterGirl
TaMara
John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
David Anderson
Major Major Major Major
DougJ NYT Pitchbot
mistermix

Keeping Track

Legal Challenges (Lawfare)
Republicans Fleeing Town Halls (TPM)
21 Letters (to Borrow or Steal)
Search Donations from a Brand

PA Supreme Court At Risk

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2025 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!