Sullivan has been raising hell in the blogosphere by dredging up hideous 80’s videos and thinks he has some candidates worthy of disapproval.
Sullivan is but a piker when it comes to bad 80’s videos though, as this Thompson Twins clip from 1983 proves once and for all:
You got nothing, Sully, and I got more…
craigie
Oh no! I used to have a cassette of this!
I’m so ashamed…
capelza
Loved the 80’s! Cheesy vids, cheesy hair…cheesy, cheesy…except I could wear the pencil skirts and spiked heels I always had without people thinking I was odd. Damn that was a fun time. Except for the shoulder pads…eewwwwww.
Don’t know if it has been enterd yet but Billy Squier’s “Rock Me Tonite” has got to be on the list!
And Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round, Like A Record Baby”. Or whatever the title is.
Alden
I don’t really get this, though. This isn’t so much a bad video as it is a wholly unremarkable video plopped on top of a mediocre song. Its the genre itself – early/mid 80s English danceclub new wave – that inflicts a cringe response on the unfortunate witness. Its no worse than anything by Kajagoogoo or whatever.
I was in highschool when that came out and I watched a lot of MTV in those days. And that’s just one of those videos that one endured. The reealllly bad ones are those that interrupt a lame song with dramatic scenes. Those fail in the principle mission of a music video.
The videos for which I still harbor resentment are anything by the Greg Kihn Band which they showed unrelentingly, for lack of anything else I suppose. Oh man. I can get mad just thinking about it, almost a quarter of a century later.
And Freeze Frame.
Bruce Moomaw
Don’t give Rummy any more ideas for interrogation techniques, John.
Perry Como
I had to read that three times.
Mary
Yeah, it’s a weak song and a lame video, but dude, the redhead is way cute. He actually looks lot like my New Wave muso boyfriend ca. 1982 — who was cheating on me with his previous girlfriend. And our English teacher. And everyone knew but me.
You know what? This video sucks.
Greg
LOL. I’ve been loving Sully’s clips – takes me back to high school and college. And I agree with him wholeheartedly on the A-HA and New Order nominations for best.
It’s harder to peg the nominees for worst. His tend to be decent songs pegged to lame videos. This one…er…I actually liked Thompson Twins, but this song isn’t exactly a strong effort…
demimondian
I missed “Like a Virgin” in that list, too. Where is “Like A Virgin”?
I’ll bet Sully forgot Poland, too.
The Liberal Avenger
I win:
[a href=”http://youtube.com/watch?v=thjNiknBa4o”>Link]
or
http://youtube.com/watch?v=thjNiknBa4o
Jon H
Apache doesn’t count, because it wasn’t actually on the air anywhere. At least, not in my universe.
No, the worst video of all time is the video for “I Eat Cannibals”.
I can’t find it on YouTube, but there’s a live performance of it, from the BBC, which is pretty much the same and almost as bad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQbkFcnBojc
p.lukasiak
sullivan’s audience has no taste…. “Safety Dance” is actually a damned good video — lots of humor, decent cinematography and editing, etc.
Now, you want a TRULY cheesy 80’s video…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FJxzjqsdzM
p.lukasiak
and of course, the absolute best video from the eighties is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6XTN3CJ158
srv
Toto Coelo. Wow, haven’t heard that in a long time. At least “I eat cannibals” was somewhat entertaining. I think this is worse:
Milk From the Coconut
srv
Tim F.
Since when did The Safety Dance count as a bad song? You might as well nominate the Talking Heads or the Cars. Sullivan’s readers are just voting for nostalgia.
The Other Steve
My favorite was Falco’s Rock me Amadeus.
Jon H
“My favorite was Falco’s Rock me Amadeus.”
YouTube may still have a video featuring Falco and Brigitte Nielsen (singing).
Dave
Whoa Apache. Yeah that pretty much wins, I’ve never seen it in my universe true, but wow, someone had to put some thought into a) the song and b) the choreography.
Yikes.
This was my favorite video from the 80s. The cocktail scene is still cool to me. Although I passed it around recently and got laughed at. ha!
Pressure
rilkefan
“And you need to move about”. Classic.
I also like the pentameter/trimeter alternation.
Dave
Whoa Apache. Yeah that pretty much wins, I’ve never seen it in my universe true, but wow, someone had to put some thought into a) the song and b) the choreography.
Yikes.
This was my favorite video from the 80s. The cocktail scene is still cool to me. Although I passed it around recently and got laughed at. ha!
Pressure
Gary Ruppert
The fact is that Two Of Hearts by Stacey Q is the worst song of the ’80s.
Gary Ruppert
Furthermore, the fact is that no video is cheesier than Call Me by Go West.
stickler
Mr Lukasiak:
Please stop posting those videos. Please.
I had heard Billy Idol and “White Wedding” eighteen bajillion times on the radio. But — being born and raised in a region of the country without cable — I had never seen the “White Wedding” video before.
And I am not happy that I have now seen it. Actually, I’ve torn my eyes out.
Please never do this again. Oh, the pain. Augh.
Mary
You’re all wrong.
Bow before the cheese master.
Pb
Heh, that Safety Dance video is great, if I didn’t know better, I might think it was a bad Lord of the Rings take-off. :)
If you couldn’t stand that, then I suggest that you never watch the video for Dancing With Myself — it’s way cheesier. Great stuff.
Now I don’t know if this technically counts, but the scariest video I know from
the 80’s’92 was Don’t Copy That Floppy, with Scary Corporate Rap Guy (or worse, “DJ DP” — I wish I were kidding…)p.lukasiak
If you couldn’t stand that, then I suggest that you never watch the video for Dancing With Myself—it’s way cheesier. Great stuff.
gotta disagree. The video is bad only from the perspective of 25 years later — but it foreshadows the use of dancing (if not exactly choreographed) Zombies used so effectively in Michael Jackson’s Thriller, as well as the use of “Shadow on a white screen of a presumably naked woman” used by Madonna in Express Yourself. (Plus, its the only really good song Idol ever released as a single artist.) White Wedding, on the other hand is pure, unadulterated dreck.
platosearwax
No way, dude. The worst song ever is from the 80’s. I present to you:
We Built This City
Jimmm
I’ll send a case of Poppers to the first person who posts the video of “I’m Still Standing,” by Elton John.
He was, perhaps, more outrageous in the closet than he’s been since “coming out.”
Bombadil
You want great choreography? I’ll give you great choreography! (Not from the 80s, though)
Krista
My cousin and I actually had an entire dance that we choreographed to that song…
If you’ll pardon me, I’m going to go commit hara kiri now…
Seth
Not sure it was from the 80s, but does no one remember Cherry Pie, I believe by Warrant? I think it might take the worst song and video awards all in one.
demimondian
Jeebus, Bombadil — that was done with a single master take. Wow. That is an amazing piece of choreography…and an astounding waste of talent.
capelza
According to my “hair band” friends, “Cherry Pie” singlehandedly killed the whole genre. It collapsed under the weight of it’s own inanity.
Personally I “blame” Chris Cornell…now THAT’S a vid I’d like to see.
capelza
Though that reminds me, and as I am a complete dolt with the intertrons…
“Queen of the Ryche” by Queensryche…seriously one of the worst videos of the 80’s. Someone HAS to find that one.
Punchy
Don’t you dare diss on the Talking Heads. “Burning down the House” may have been the best soundtrack song ever…
Punchy
Dont feel bad. Me and a friend rehearsed daily–yes, rehearsed–his air guitar and my air drumming of Van Halen’s Mean Streets. For weeks. Why? We’re idiots.
Personally, as a vote for best 80’s song, I’ll go with Come on Eileen (a close second–Neutron Dance by the Pointer Sisters)
Worst? Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart
Baby Jane
Sounds about right.
Also, anything with David Lee Roth is kinda painful to watch.
Something I enjoyed was watching the guys from Fine Young Cannibals wiggle around.
I don’t remember the video for Mexican Radio.
The bald guy from Midnight Oil always gave me the creeps.
I can still see Juice Newton on that railroad train when Queen of Hearts invades my brain first thing in the morning a couple of times a year. There’s actually a bunch of old ditties that occasionally start singing to me as soon as I wake up. Am I nuts? Does my disease have a name? Please, please don’t tell me it’s my angel of the morning.
Pb
Ok, open thread time.
First, I totally saw this coming, unlike some people here who I won’t name. :)
And second, if this is true, it’s devastating:
Therefore, I’m sure we won’t hear more on that until after the election either. You wouldn’t want to inform the voters or anything. Pfft.
p.lukasiak
No way, dude. The worst song ever is from the 80’s. I present to you: We Built This City
it may not be the worst song, but its certainly the most atrocious abuse of talent ever recorded. WHAT were they thinking?
p.lukasiak
You want great choreography? I’ll give you great choreography! (Not from the 80s, though)
even more amazingly, they did what appears to have been the same routine flawlessly LIVE on the VMAs…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GqeXqL4CTXQ
The Other Steve
Tha tlooks like someone setup a camcorder to record the television. Bizarre.
Pb
Hahah, someone posted a comment there about that: “LEARN TO TIVO”!
Punchy
Thanks. ( slinks away, head down )
Photonaton
Somehow, everybody missed the song that launched the 80’s, from the Flying Lizards .
But since I came late to this party, everyone will miss it now, too.
lard lad
One group I have to give credit to for consistently witty and creative video work is MADNESS. These guys ruled the charts in the UK, racking up one smash after another, each with a good-to-great video in tow… but they were too working-class Brit for the States, so most Yanks only know ’em for their one American hit and accompanying video “Our House.” Check out this clip for their single “House of Fun.” Very nice…
lard lad
But if it’s REAL rockin’ pleasure you’re after, feast your peepers on this Fifties clip from one of the greatest bands ever, the fabulous TRENIERS. If you aren’t grinning from ear to ear by this song’s conclusion, I give up.
Krista
???
Pray tell, why are you blaming Chris Cornell?
t. jasper parnell
thanks for the Madness, I nearly forgot.
t. jasper parnell
Re: Chris Cornell: Perhaps this as opposed to this
wazmo
You’re all pikers when it comes to bad 80s music videos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rg1LABzdwbE
I present Hayzi Fantayzee….