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50Comments

  2. 2.

    capelza

    Loved the 80’s! Cheesy vids, cheesy hair…cheesy, cheesy…except I could wear the pencil skirts and spiked heels I always had without people thinking I was odd. Damn that was a fun time. Except for the shoulder pads…eewwwwww.

    Don’t know if it has been enterd yet but Billy Squier’s “Rock Me Tonite” has got to be on the list!

    And Dead or Alive’s “You Spin Me Round, Like A Record Baby”. Or whatever the title is.

  3. 3.

    Alden

    I don’t really get this, though. This isn’t so much a bad video as it is a wholly unremarkable video plopped on top of a mediocre song. Its the genre itself – early/mid 80s English danceclub new wave – that inflicts a cringe response on the unfortunate witness. Its no worse than anything by Kajagoogoo or whatever.

    I was in highschool when that came out and I watched a lot of MTV in those days. And that’s just one of those videos that one endured. The reealllly bad ones are those that interrupt a lame song with dramatic scenes. Those fail in the principle mission of a music video.

    The videos for which I still harbor resentment are anything by the Greg Kihn Band which they showed unrelentingly, for lack of anything else I suppose. Oh man. I can get mad just thinking about it, almost a quarter of a century later.

    And Freeze Frame.

  6. 6.

    Mary

    Yeah, it’s a weak song and a lame video, but dude, the redhead is way cute. He actually looks lot like my New Wave muso boyfriend ca. 1982 — who was cheating on me with his previous girlfriend. And our English teacher. And everyone knew but me.

    You know what? This video sucks.

  7. 7.

    Greg

    LOL. I’ve been loving Sully’s clips – takes me back to high school and college. And I agree with him wholeheartedly on the A-HA and New Order nominations for best.

    It’s harder to peg the nominees for worst. His tend to be decent songs pegged to lame videos. This one…er…I actually liked Thompson Twins, but this song isn’t exactly a strong effort…

  10. 10.

    Jon H

    Apache doesn’t count, because it wasn’t actually on the air anywhere. At least, not in my universe.

    No, the worst video of all time is the video for “I Eat Cannibals”.

    I can’t find it on YouTube, but there’s a live performance of it, from the BBC, which is pretty much the same and almost as bad.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQbkFcnBojc

  15. 15.

    Tim F.

    Since when did The Safety Dance count as a bad song? You might as well nominate the Talking Heads or the Cars. Sullivan’s readers are just voting for nostalgia.

  17. 17.

    Jon H

    “My favorite was Falco’s Rock me Amadeus.”

    YouTube may still have a video featuring Falco and Brigitte Nielsen (singing).

  18. 18.

    Dave

    Whoa Apache. Yeah that pretty much wins, I’ve never seen it in my universe true, but wow, someone had to put some thought into a) the song and b) the choreography.

    Yikes.

    This was my favorite video from the 80s. The cocktail scene is still cool to me. Although I passed it around recently and got laughed at. ha!

    Pressure

  19. 19.

    rilkefan

    I hear you laughing in some other room
    And it makes me feel locked out
    You say my passion often stifles you
    And you need to move about

    “And you need to move about”. Classic.

    I also like the pentameter/trimeter alternation.

  20. 20.

    Dave

    Whoa Apache. Yeah that pretty much wins, I’ve never seen it in my universe true, but wow, someone had to put some thought into a) the song and b) the choreography.

    Yikes.

    This was my favorite video from the 80s. The cocktail scene is still cool to me. Although I passed it around recently and got laughed at. ha!

    Pressure

  23. 23.

    stickler

    Mr Lukasiak:

    Please stop posting those videos. Please.

    I had heard Billy Idol and “White Wedding” eighteen bajillion times on the radio. But — being born and raised in a region of the country without cable — I had never seen the “White Wedding” video before.

    And I am not happy that I have now seen it. Actually, I’ve torn my eyes out.

    Please never do this again. Oh, the pain. Augh.

  25. 25.

    Pb

    Heh, that Safety Dance video is great, if I didn’t know better, I might think it was a bad Lord of the Rings take-off. :)

    I had heard Billy Idol and “White Wedding” eighteen bajillion times on the radio. But—being born and raised in a region of the country without cable—I had never seen the “White Wedding” video before.

    And I am not happy that I have now seen it. Actually, I’ve torn my eyes out.

    Please never do this again. Oh, the pain. Augh.

    If you couldn’t stand that, then I suggest that you never watch the video for Dancing With Myself — it’s way cheesier. Great stuff.

    Now I don’t know if this technically counts, but the scariest video I know from the 80’s’92 was Don’t Copy That Floppy, with Scary Corporate Rap Guy (or worse, “DJ DP” — I wish I were kidding…)

  26. 26.

    p.lukasiak

    If you couldn’t stand that, then I suggest that you never watch the video for Dancing With Myself—it’s way cheesier. Great stuff.

    gotta disagree. The video is bad only from the perspective of 25 years later — but it foreshadows the use of dancing (if not exactly choreographed) Zombies used so effectively in Michael Jackson’s Thriller, as well as the use of “Shadow on a white screen of a presumably naked woman” used by Madonna in Express Yourself. (Plus, its the only really good song Idol ever released as a single artist.) White Wedding, on the other hand is pure, unadulterated dreck.

  28. 28.

    Jimmm

    I’ll send a case of Poppers to the first person who posts the video of “I’m Still Standing,” by Elton John.

    He was, perhaps, more outrageous in the closet than he’s been since “coming out.”

  29. 29.

    Bombadil

    The video is bad only from the perspective of 25 years later—but it foreshadows the use of dancing (if not exactly choreographed) Zombies used so effectively in Michael Jackson’s Thriller

    You want great choreography? I’ll give you great choreography! (Not from the 80s, though)

  30. 30.

    Krista

    The fact is that Two Of Hearts by Stacey Q is the worst song of the ‘80s.

    My cousin and I actually had an entire dance that we choreographed to that song…

    If you’ll pardon me, I’m going to go commit hara kiri now…

  31. 31.

    Seth

    Not sure it was from the 80s, but does no one remember Cherry Pie, I believe by Warrant? I think it might take the worst song and video awards all in one.

  33. 33.

    capelza

    Seth Says:

    Not sure it was from the 80s, but does no one remember Cherry Pie, I believe by Warrant? I think it might take the worst song and video awards all in one.

    According to my “hair band” friends, “Cherry Pie” singlehandedly killed the whole genre. It collapsed under the weight of it’s own inanity.

    Personally I “blame” Chris Cornell…now THAT’S a vid I’d like to see.

  34. 34.

    capelza

    Though that reminds me, and as I am a complete dolt with the intertrons…

    “Queen of the Ryche” by Queensryche…seriously one of the worst videos of the 80’s. Someone HAS to find that one.

  35. 35.

    Punchy

    You might as well nominate the Talking Heads or the Cars

    Don’t you dare diss on the Talking Heads. “Burning down the House” may have been the best soundtrack song ever…

  36. 36.

    Punchy

    My cousin and I actually had an entire dance that we choreographed to that song…

    Dont feel bad. Me and a friend rehearsed daily–yes, rehearsed–his air guitar and my air drumming of Van Halen’s Mean Streets. For weeks. Why? We’re idiots.

    Personally, as a vote for best 80’s song, I’ll go with Come on Eileen (a close second–Neutron Dance by the Pointer Sisters)

    Worst? Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart

  37. 37.

    Baby Jane

    Worst? Sunglasses at Night by Corey Hart

    Sounds about right.

    Also, anything with David Lee Roth is kinda painful to watch.

    Something I enjoyed was watching the guys from Fine Young Cannibals wiggle around.

    I don’t remember the video for Mexican Radio.

    The bald guy from Midnight Oil always gave me the creeps.

    I can still see Juice Newton on that railroad train when Queen of Hearts invades my brain first thing in the morning a couple of times a year. There’s actually a bunch of old ditties that occasionally start singing to me as soon as I wake up. Am I nuts? Does my disease have a name? Please, please don’t tell me it’s my angel of the morning.

  38. 38.

    Pb

    Ok, open thread time.

    First, I totally saw this coming, unlike some people here who I won’t name. :)

    Ethics Report on Foley Not Expected Before Elections
    By Jonathan Weisman
    Washington Post Staff Writer
    Saturday, October 28, 2006; Page A06

    The House ethics committee has all but wrapped up the investigative phase of its probe into the actions of former representative Mark Foley, informing key witnesses that they will not be summoned back for more questioning, lawyers in the case said yesterday.

    But those lawyers indicated that the committee is unlikely to release its report on the Florida Republican — or even an interim memo — before the Nov. 7 elections.

    And second, if this is true, it’s devastating:

    Removing U.S. troops from Baghdad

    MARK SHIELDS: The highest ranking or certainly one of the highest ranking men in the United States military today has recommended that we remove all troops from Baghdad, all American troops from Baghdad.
    […]
    MARK SHIELDS: All of the troops out of Baghdad, secure the road to the airport, secure the oil fields and the borders, and say that the pacification and the maintaining of order in Baghdad is the responsibility of the Iraqis. That is the recommendation of probably one of the most — probably the most respected man in uniform today.

    Therefore, I’m sure we won’t hear more on that until after the election either. You wouldn’t want to inform the voters or anything. Pfft.

  39. 39.

    p.lukasiak

    No way, dude. The worst song ever is from the 80’s. I present to you: We Built This City

    it may not be the worst song, but its certainly the most atrocious abuse of talent ever recorded. WHAT were they thinking?

  41. 41.

    The Other Steve

    even more amazingly, they did what appears to have been the same routine flawlessly LIVE on the VMAs…

    Tha tlooks like someone setup a camcorder to record the television. Bizarre.

  42. 42.

    Pb

    Tha tlooks like someone setup a camcorder to record the television. Bizarre.

    Hahah, someone posted a comment there about that: “LEARN TO TIVO”!

  43. 43.

    Punchy

    First, I totally saw this coming, unlike some people here who I won’t name

    Thanks. ( slinks away, head down )

  45. 45.

    lard lad

    One group I have to give credit to for consistently witty and creative video work is MADNESS. These guys ruled the charts in the UK, racking up one smash after another, each with a good-to-great video in tow… but they were too working-class Brit for the States, so most Yanks only know ’em for their one American hit and accompanying video “Our House.” Check out this clip for their single “House of Fun.” Very nice…

  46. 46.

    lard lad

    But if it’s REAL rockin’ pleasure you’re after, feast your peepers on this Fifties clip from one of the greatest bands ever, the fabulous TRENIERS. If you aren’t grinning from ear to ear by this song’s conclusion, I give up.

  47. 47.

    Krista

    Personally I “blame” Chris Cornell…now THAT’S a vid I’d like to see.

    ???

    Pray tell, why are you blaming Chris Cornell?

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