Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

At some point, the ability to learn is a factor of character, not IQ.

I’d hate to be the candidate who lost to this guy.

The media handbook says “controversial” is the most negative description that can be used for a Republican.

Live so that if you miss a day of work people aren’t hoping you’re dead.

Everybody saw this coming.

… gradually, and then suddenly.

Anyone who bans teaching American history has no right to shape America’s future.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

The republican speaker is a slippery little devil.

We won’t go back.

Democrats are back in array!

Republicans don’t lie to be believed, they lie to be repeated.

You cannot love your country only when you win.

Only Democrats have agency, apparently.

Come on, man.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

Motown is Joe-Town!

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

“The defense has a certain level of trust in defendant that the government does not.”

People are complicated. Love is not.

Republicans in disarray!

Within six months Twitter will be fully self-driving.

Never give a known liar the benefit of the doubt.

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. You can’t explain that.

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37Comments

  2. 2.

    Richard Bottoms

    Another moralizing conservative asshole breaks the law. What a surprise.

    Hoosier Edward Bruce Tinsley, creator of the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested in Columbus Dec. 4 and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence — his second alcohol-related arrest in less that four months, according to the Bartholomew County Sheriff’s Department.

    Duck Soup

  4. 4.

    grumpy realist

    Hope you feel better soon, John. Sip lots of liquids and don’t forget the usefulness of chicken soup during convalescence.

  5. 5.

    Bombadil

    Take care of yourself, John. Best cure for illness is daytime television. Watch enough of it and you’ll be on your feet and out the door, well or not.

  6. 6.

    Tax Analyst

    John, hope you feel better soon. Reminds me, though…in high school (40 years ago!) I felt sick one day and went to my English Lit teacher. He wrote a note for the School Nurse and sent me off with it. I didn’t open it. When she did she started giggling…I just stared at her. She goes, “Didn’t you read this?” Then showed it to me…”Kid with the crud – take care of him. J.Freesius”. Sick as I was I still managed a weak chuckle.

  7. 7.

    Pb

    Richard Bottoms,

    Pass the popcorn…

    Hoosier Edward Bruce Tinsley, creator of the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested in Columbus Dec. 4 and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence—his second alcohol-related arrest in less that four months

    That explains so much! You see, I’ve always thought Mallard Fillmore wasn’t remotely funny, but now it occurs to me that I was never drunk while reading it! He must be targeting the Stormy audience…

  9. 9.

    Davebo

    Sorry to hear it John, get well soon.

    And look on the bright side! I’ve got to watch the Houston Texans for 3 more games.

    Anyone interested in a slightly used Carr? Will consider a trade.

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    And look on the bright side! I’ve got to watch the Houston Texans for 3 more games.

    Anyone interested in a slightly used Carr? Will consider a trade.

    Yeah, I think the highlight of that Titans/Texans game was when Vince Young publically disowned the Texans as the team from Houston. I mean, ouch.

    Also, I still say Carr would be worlds better if we had an offensive line that was worth a damn.

  11. 11.

    ThymeZone

    Chicken soup is the miracle drug.

    My wife makes the world’s best. All from scratch, and homemade noodles. I will get her recipe and email it to you.

  12. 12.

    chopper

    Hope you feel better soon, John. Sip lots of liquids and don’t forget the usefulness of chicken soup during convalescence.

    throw in a few matzoh balls and you’ve got heaven in a bowl.

  14. 14.

    fwiffo

    Incoming Democrats promise to slash pork; Conservatives express outrage at the lack of reckless spending.

    “There will be no congressional earmarks,” Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., and Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va., said Monday in a statement announcing their plans, which were endorsed by incoming Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and soon-to-be Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev.

    …

    White House Budget Director Rob Portman called the Democrats’ announcement disappointing.

    Read the whole thing.

  15. 15.

    Zifnab

    I know what I’m getting for Christmas

    In Left Behind, set in perfectly apocalyptic New York City, the Antichrist is personified by fictional Romanian Nicolae Carpathia, secretary-general of the United Nations and a People magazine “Sexiest Man Alive.”

    Players can choose to join the Antichrist’s team, but of course they can never win on Carpathia’s side. The enemy team includes fictional rock stars and folks with Muslim-sounding names, while the righteous include gospel singers, missionaries, healers and medics. Every character comes with a life story.

  16. 16.

    Pb

    He added that the administration wants to “maintain fiscal discipline and avoid gimmicks and unwarranted emergency spending.”

    Wait, which administration is this?

  17. 17.

    Zifnab

    The network behind the runaway hit series Heroes wants fans to know one thing: the cheerleader’s loner friend Zach is absolutely, undeniably, completely heterosexual.

    ~linkfromcanada

    Clearly not enough soy in his diet.

  20. 20.

    Joe1347

    The President refused to comment on specifics in the report by dipping into his bottomless bag of vague generalities. “My message is this: I want to work with the Congress, I want to work with people in both parties.” Yeah, sure he does, the same way a five-year-old with a magnifying glass wants to work with ants. The bi-partisan Study Group provided 79 recommendations for alleviating the chaos in Iraq. Unfortunately none of them involved the President and his entire Cabinet resigning, proving perhaps this study group should’ve studied more.

    Some great wit from Will Durst. I love the ants analogy.

  21. 21.

    Mary

    John, see if you can get some kind soul to make you chicken soup with LOTS of garlic — that’s the magic ingredient. Tunch will probably find you a great source of warmth and cuddling while you’re recovering, and I doubt the garlic will faze him.

  22. 22.

    John Cole

    Thanks for al lthe kind words, but it is not that kind of flu in which chicken soup is helpful. It is the other kind. Eating anything is not a good idea atm.

  23. 23.

    Punchy

    Thanks for al lthe kind words, but it is not that kind of flu in which chicken soup is helpful. It is the other kind. Eating anything is not a good idea atm.

    You ate those damn scallions from Taco Bell, didn’t ya?

  24. 24.

    Pooh

    In Blogenfreude news, has anyone else been following teh stoopid surrounding Althouse’s desperate need for affirmation? I fully endorse this

    Hypothesis: Althouse losing to The Moderate Voice will prompt more unintentional hilarity than Althouse winning. Thus you have a utilitarian duty to vote once every 24 hours. Is this a reason? Possibly. Or maybe I just have something in my eye.

    and bonus fun:

    UPDATE: A classic Althouse comment:

    One of the main things that draws me to writing about something is the desire to make fun of people who are taking themselves too seriously, like those bloggers who were so dorkily proud to be lunching with Clinton.

    This in the comments to a post reading

    Please, don’t forget to vote today. There’s some vicious negative campaigning on the other side, you may have noticed, so it’s become especially important to show your support each day.

    Lunch with Clinton, sure, make fun– but a Weblog Award! Her blog is a parody site, right?

    To quote Omar Little, “Indeed.”

  25. 25.

    Zifnab

    Thanks for al lthe kind words, but it is not that kind of flu in which chicken soup is helpful. It is the other kind. Eating anything is not a good idea atm.

    Passes John a porcelain idol
    That super sucks.

  26. 26.

    ThymeZone

    Ah, that kind of flu. I recently had this adventure myself. Nothing to do but try to stay hydrated and tough it out for a few days.

    Even though you may wish for the sweet release of death for a while, within a couple of days you will likely feel better.

  27. 27.

    CaseyL

    Oooh, those kinds of flu really suck.

    Try to starve it out by consuming nothing but water for 24 hours.

    Considering how miserable you feel, that actually shouldn’t be too difficult – esp. if you take something (Benedryl, or Nyquil) that knocks you out for a few hours of it.

  28. 28.

    The Other Steve

    Old Russian cure for being sick.

    Take a glass, fill it full of water.

    Now add a little bit of Vodka.

    Take a drink.

    If you don’t feel better, fill the glass back up with Vodka, and take another drink.

    Repeat last step as necessary.

  30. 30.

    pie

    Get well soon, John.

    I recommend Theraflu and sundry other chemicals to take the pain away until your body fixes itself. Your immune system is churning out reinforcements to turn the tide in the battle; nothing for your brain to do at this point but hunker down and await final victory.

  31. 31.

    Krista

    The network behind the runaway hit series Heroes wants fans to know one thing: the cheerleader’s loner friend Zach is absolutely, undeniably, completely heterosexual.

    Well, he is NOW. (SPOILER ALERT) He used to be gay, but creepy Haitian guy accidentally rejiggered his sexuality when he erased his memory…

    Poor John…I hope you feel better soon.
    /lays cool washcloth on John’s forehead, pours him a glass of flat ginger ale, tucks his blankets around him, puts a bucket next to his bed, and finds something entertaining, but not too mentally stimulating, for him to watch on TV.

  33. 33.

    Krista

    Oh, and John, if you can find someone to get you some Pedialyte frozen pops, that’d be awesome. They’re not all sugary like sports drinks, but they’ll help keep you from getting dehydrated. And if you’re anything like me, it’s very soothing to eat something cold when you’re feeling pukey.

  35. 35.

    Quiddity

    John: Hope you get better. (I find the flu and excellent opportunity to shed a few pounds – though they come back in short order.)

    Did you get a flu shot this fall? I always do.

  36. 36.

    Richard 23

    That explains so much! You see, I’ve always thought Mallard Fillmore wasn’t remotely funny, but now it occurs to me that I was never drunk while reading it! He must be targeting the Stormy audience…

    You just have to read Day by Day. Talk about unfunny! Drink ’till you pass out. It’s still not as funny as Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G or Mark Trail.

    Best of luck, John. The blogger, not the, erm, you know. Eh, never mind.

  37. 37.

    jcricket

    Day by Day is just about the unfunniest comic on the planet.

    And the Mallard Fillmore guy – hopefully he’ll drive drunk again in a couple of weeks and that will make it 3 strikes. Asshole.

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