• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Before Header

  • About Us
  • Lexicon
  • Contact Us
  • Our Store
  • ↑
  • ↓
  • ←
  • →

Balloon Juice

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

The next time the wall street journal editorial board speaks the truth will be the first.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

I did not have this on my fuck 2022 bingo card.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Fuck these fucking interesting times.

The worst democrat is better than the best republican.

Republicans are radicals, not conservatives.

Pessimism assures that nothing of any importance will change.

Speaking of republicans, is there a way for a political party to declare intellectual bankruptcy?

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

The words do not have to be perfect.

Being the leader of the world means to be the leader of peace.

You don’t get to peddle hatred on saturday and offer condolences on sunday.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

Putting aside our relentless self-interest because the moral imperative is crystal clear.

Proof that we need a blogger ethics panel.

Mobile Menu

  • Winnable House Races
  • Donate with Venmo, Zelle & PayPal
  • Site Feedback
  • War in Ukraine
  • Submit Photos to On the Road
  • Politics
  • On The Road
  • Open Threads
  • Topics
  • Balloon Juice 2023 Pet Calendar (coming soon)
  • COVID-19 Coronavirus
  • Authors
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Lexicon
  • Our Store
  • Politics
  • Open Threads
  • War in Ukraine
  • Garden Chats
  • On The Road
  • 2021-22 Fundraising!
You are here: Home / Open Threads / New Year Open Thread

New Year Open Thread

by Tim F|  December 29, 20068:37 pm| 28 Comments

This post is in: Open Threads

FacebookTweetEmail

Expect me to be too remote and/or inebriated to blog productively for the next few days, so unless somebody reminds John to write something this will be your primary outlet for expression for awhile. Well, this and the outside world. Also scan the dozens of excellent blogs in our sidebar if things get stir crazy.

Let’s get an early start on my new year’s resolutions. Let’s see, this year I solemnly pledge to…graduate! Hear that, anonymous PhD advisor? I’m out by December. Oy, I’d better have that committee meeting that I’ve put off for a year.

Use this thread for your resolutions, year end fave roundups or whatever.

FacebookTweetEmail
Previous Post: « Random Internet Fun
Next Post: Saddam Dead »

Reader Interactions

28Comments

  1. 1.

    Dave

    December 29, 2006 at 8:46 pm

    Let’s see, I resolve to…eat more, drink more and up my smoking to 2 packs a day.

    I figure it’s time to be realistic about my resolutions. It seems each year, they last about a week and then are done. These, I believe, I can keep for a year and accomplish something.

  2. 2.

    Krista

    December 29, 2006 at 8:50 pm

    This is going to be a huge year, kiddos. My goals/schedule/ambitions for 2007:

    1. Work up to being able to run 5K without taking one walking break.
    2. Have my house completed and habitable by this time next year.
    3. Do a great job at this summer’s big (as in nationally televised)work event, for which I’m doing all of the coordinating and PR.
    4. Get my loan paid off.
    5. Get pregnant.
    6. Stay sane through all of that.

  3. 3.

    demimondian

    December 29, 2006 at 8:53 pm

    Funny story.

    So, I’m at my dissertation defense, which, as is traditional, I start with an introduction: “Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Demimondian, and I’m here today to defend my dissertation, which was written under the supervision of Professor A. Foobar…you know, Abe, I’ve said your name that way for four years…is that how you say it?”

    “Actually, Demi, no; I say ‘Fyoobar'”

  4. 4.

    Dave

    December 29, 2006 at 9:01 pm

    5. Get pregnant.

    Good lord Krista, have you been talking with my wife?

  5. 5.

    ThymeZone

    December 29, 2006 at 9:04 pm

    up my smoking to 2 packs a day.

    Stop it, it’s really bad for you. I speak from experience.

    Resolutions:

    1. Not to let the insanity at work get to me.
    2. Figure out a way to get a motorcycle even though the missus already talked me into spending all the money on improvements to Maci’s house. (We rent it to them).
    3. Eat a healthier diet (that is, one not based on cheese and donuts)
    4. Drive more slowly (I am a chronic leadfoot)
    5. More music and less computer

  6. 6.

    demimondian

    December 29, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Stop it, it’s really bad for you. I speak from experience.

    And the secondhand effluvium is particularly bad for pregnant women and the fetuses they carry, as well as infants and young children. If your wife wants to become pregnant, do yourself, her, and the future kid a favor: quit.

  7. 7.

    Jimbo X

    December 29, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Resolutions (building on previous posts):

    1. Not to let the inherent uncertainty of the future demoralize me.
    2. Not to let the insanity in Washington get to me (see also 1. above).
    3. Finish my damn novel and find a publisher for it.

    There. I have put it in writing for all to see.

  8. 8.

    demimondian

    December 29, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Resolutions:

    1080p

  9. 9.

    RSA

    December 29, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    Good luck, Tim. I’ve resolved to graduate at least one of my Ph.D. students this year (before the funding runs out); maybe your advisor has made a comparable resolution.

  10. 10.

    Dave

    December 29, 2006 at 9:41 pm

    re: smoking. Yes, tell me about it, I fucking hate the fact that I smoke. Actually if I do anything this year it will be to never stick one of those fucking things in my mouth again.

    I’m trying to think what disgusts me more, GOP group think or smoking. It’s a toss up.

  11. 11.

    ThymeZone

    December 29, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    I’m trying to think what disgusts me more, GOP group think or smoking. It’s a toss up.

    You’re on the right track. Take the one you can control first, which is the smoking.

    Stay with it. You can do it.

    Then take all that new energy you’ll have and turn it on the GOP!

  12. 12.

    Krista

    December 29, 2006 at 10:28 pm

    Dave, why yes, I have been talking to your wife. She figures we can do a two-fer, if you’re up for it, big boy.

    All kidding aside, you can definitely quit smoking. I quit 4 years ago. The kicker for me was watching my boyfriend’s grandmother gasping through her final hours — she’d been a hardcore smoker all her life, and it finally caught up to her. Her husband was in misery while watching her suffer, and was visibly angry at the addiction that had stolen his wife from him. I looked over at my boyfriend, and realized that I did not want to put the man I love through that.

    That was the defining moment. The will was there, and the patch helped out with the physical addiction.

  13. 13.

    Steve

    December 29, 2006 at 10:49 pm

    I resolve to run more miles in January than LeBron James.

  14. 14.

    whatsleft

    December 29, 2006 at 11:06 pm

    Steve – what’s with your affinity for yellow tennis balls and smiley faces?

  15. 15.

    mrmobi

    December 29, 2006 at 11:43 pm

    1. Work up to being able to run 5K without taking one walking break.

    Krista, as a long-time intermittent runner, I say please don’t sweat the whole “walk break” thing. My current favorite running author, Hal Higdon, is a big advocate of the walk break, especially during long runs. I turned to his advice when I found that, at 59, I was having trouble completing a training program I did handily in my late forties.

    You’ll get there, the important thing is to be comfortable, and not feel fatigued.

    It had been about two years since I last ran a whole training program when I started again in late May, and New Years Eve, I’ll run 16, God willing and the creek don’t rise. There will be a good mile or so of walking sprinkled in there. It’s the only way I can go that far and still be standing at the end.

    If you keep up with the running, #6 will be a cinch. Good luck with your resolutions, especially #5.

    Happy New Year to all.

  16. 16.

    CaseyL

    December 29, 2006 at 11:49 pm

    I resolve to make no New Year’s Resolutions.

    I think that’s one I can keep ;)

  17. 17.

    srv

    December 29, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    1) Make sure the people I love know that
    2) Master my new job to return to gravy train status
    3) Upon #2, find that ideal SF gf
    4) Machu Pichu or Rio, scam a work trip to China
    5) Finish my airplane, get current BFR
    6) Mo music less computer (I read that somewhere)

  18. 18.

    demimondian

    December 30, 2006 at 12:18 am

    Hmm. Casey, I hate to burst your bubble, but isn’t that kind of a paradoxical resolution? Sort of like “Cretans never tell the truth: I’m from Crete, and I know.”

  19. 19.

    ThymeZone

    December 30, 2006 at 12:56 am

    A lil sump’n for your New Years weekend:

    Bill Maher: Bush knows so little about healthcare, before he became president he thought that Kaiser Permanente was the leader of Germany.

  20. 20.

    craigie

    December 30, 2006 at 1:32 am

    That’s silly. He’s the President of Mexico!

  21. 21.

    Dave

    December 30, 2006 at 4:32 am

    Why does this story

    remind me of this lame old golf joke…

    A priest went golfing with a nun as his caddie. He is on the 3rd hole and he’s 4 inches from the hole, but he missed.
    He mumbles, ‘Fucking shit I missed’.
    The nun gasps and says, ‘Watch your language’.
    The priest goes to the 4th hole, he’s 3 inches, but he missed.
    He said, ‘Fucking shit I missed’.
    The nun gasps and says, ‘ The Lord will get you if you aren’t careful’.
    The priest goes to the 5th hole and is 2 inches from the hole, but missed.
    He screams, ‘ FUCKING SHIT I MISSED’.
    Then a big bolt of lightning comes down and hits the nun.
    Then a big voice comes from Heaven that says, ‘Fucking shit I missed’.

  22. 22.

    Punchy

    December 30, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Iowa over Texas in the biggest bowl game upset this side of Clemson/UK.

    That’s my heart talking. The brain just called my heart an idiot.

  23. 23.

    Tsulagi

    December 30, 2006 at 5:14 pm

    Dave, you can quit smoking. A former pack and a half/day smoker, I did the patch thing. The patches are okay, and useful, but they’re not going to make you stop. They only take the edge off the craving. You have to decide to really stop. If you haven’t, then don’t bother because likely you’ll just be setting yourself up for failure. I made two half-assed attempts before calling bullshit on myself then making it work.

    However, remembering back, there was one additional unexpected thing that helped me with motivation while it lasted. Ummm, trying to make this clean in mixed company, soon after being smoke and patch free, I started experiencing spontaneous, morning like occurrences during the day or night. Damn, like in middle school.

    Didn’t need the help, but the phenomenon lasted I guess while my blood vessels and system were adapting to the increased blood flow. My sympathetic wife often rose to the occasion to put my “problem” to rest. Now that’s help and motivation you don’t get in a patch. Something you can look forward to with your wife.

  24. 24.

    Newport 9

    December 30, 2006 at 6:47 pm

    Resolutions:

    1. Impeach Bush
    2. Impeach Cheney

    I like to think big.

  25. 25.

    SeesThroughIt

    December 30, 2006 at 8:03 pm

    3. Eat a healthier diet (that is, one not based on cheese and donuts)

    Wait, you want a diet with less cheese and donuts? Blasphemy!

    I guess I should count myself among the fortunate when it comes to quitting smoking. My own habit never escalated very far above half a pack a day at its peak, so when I finally realized, “You know, I’ve been smoking for 10 years now, maybe I should knock it off because it’s expensive and gross and I don’t want to do it anymore,” I didn’t have a very severe nicotine addiction to break.

    I just went cold turkey, though the difficult part wasn’t dealing with nic fits so much as trying to overcome the socially habitual aspects. Like smoking after a meal, smoking when I got home from work, etc. The routine of smoking was the biggest issue; overcoming that made the rest of it a cakewalk, relatively speaking.

  26. 26.

    Krista

    December 30, 2006 at 9:14 pm

    mrmobi: you mentioned you’re a runner as well? Please tell me…I beg of you: how does one prevent the dreaded side stitch? I do treadmill running, so if I get one, I just get off the treadmill and do a backbend stretch over an exercise ball, which seems to be the only thing that helps. But, there is word that my gym might be closing, so I’ll be back to running out-of-doors. And bringing a 65-cm stability ball with me while running is not a very practical option. :)

  27. 27.

    mrmobi

    December 30, 2006 at 10:39 pm

    Krista:

    There are lots of ideas about why side stiches happen, but I personally believe that dehydration is the main cause. I used to get them when I first started running. Not so much since then.

    Remember that most of us are inadequately hydrated. If you feel thirsty, it means you’ve waited too long to drink. In my current program, I’ve discovered that I can go 3-5 more miles in much greater comfort if I take water every 30 to 45 minutes. I can finish the same distance without water, but in the long run, my training is more effective with it.

    Remember too, that drinking alcohol dehydrates you, and you need to drink double the amount of water for every drink you have. It would probably be better not to drink, but that doesn’t work for me.

    The other thing is rest. Running really does require a lifestyle change. Since I’ve started again it has become clear to me that the 59 year old body requires more sleep than the 49 year old one did to accomplish the same mileage.

    I do all my running outside, so to keep hydrated I end up running a lot of short loops (so that I can stop at home and drink, and even take nourishment (orange juice) on the longer runs). I’m going to get a “water belt” so I can do some longer loops.

    I’ve had a couple of bourbons tonight as I watched the Ford funeral, so I’m drinking a bunch of water before I go to be early. Jack is indeed a very dull boy.

    Good luck with the running, I hope this helps.

  28. 28.

    Krista

    December 30, 2006 at 11:11 pm

    I’ll have to give that a try — I tend to sip water while running, just to avoid that parched feeling, but can’t drink too much, ’cause otherwise I get that nasty “sloshing” sensation in the stomach. I’ll have to just drink more throughout the day…it certainly can’t hurt, right? (I’ll also be treating myself to a new pair of runners sometime next month, so between that and the hydration, I’m sure it’ll make a big difference.)

Comments are closed.

Primary Sidebar

🎈Keep Balloon Juice Ad Free

Become a Balloon Juice Patreon
Donate with Venmo, Zelle or PayPal

2023 Pet Calendars

Pet Calendar Preview: A
Pet Calendar Preview: B

*Calendars can not be ordered until Cafe Press gets their calendar paper in.

Recent Comments

  • WaterGirl on Wednesday Afternoon Open Thread (Feb 2, 2023 @ 10:01am)
  • Mai Naem mobile on Thursday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day (Feb 2, 2023 @ 9:58am)
  • NotMax on Thursday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day (Feb 2, 2023 @ 9:57am)
  • Betty Cracker on Thursday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day (Feb 2, 2023 @ 9:55am)
  • Baud on Thursday Morning Open Thread: Groundhog Day (Feb 2, 2023 @ 9:55am)

Balloon Juice Posts

View by Topic
View by Author
View by Month & Year
View by Past Author

Featuring

Medium Cool
Artists in Our Midst
Authors in Our Midst
We All Need A Little Kindness
Favorite Dogs & Cats
Classified Documents: A Primer

Calling All Jackals

Site Feedback
Nominate a Rotating Tag
Submit Photos to On the Road
Balloon Juice Mailing List Signup

Front-pager Twitter

John Cole
DougJ (aka NYT Pitchbot)
Betty Cracker
Tom Levenson
TaMara
David Anderson
ActualCitizensUnited

Shop Amazon via this link to support Balloon Juice   

Join the Fight!

Join the Fight Signup Form
All Join the Fight Posts

Balloon Juice Events

5/14  The Apocalypse
5/20  Home Away from Home
5/29  We’re Back, Baby
7/21  Merging!

Balloon Juice for Ukraine

Donate

Site Footer

Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

  • Facebook
  • RSS
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Comment Policy
  • Our Authors
  • Blogroll
  • Our Artists
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 Dev Balloon Juice · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc

Share this ArticleLike this article? Email it to a friend!

Email sent!