Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Don’t expect peaches from an apple tree.

The revolution will be supervised.

Republicans don’t want a speaker to lead them; they want a hostage.

The GOP couldn’t organize an orgy in a whorehouse with a fist full of 50s.

A democracy can’t function when people can’t distinguish facts from lies.

I was confident that someone would point it out and thought why not me.

Trump’s legal defense is going to be a dumpster fire inside a clown car on a derailing train.

“Why isn’t this Snickers bar only a nickle?”

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

The Supreme Court cannot be allowed to become the ultimate, unaccountable arbiter of everything.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

The words do not have to be perfect.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

The poor and middle-class pay taxes, the rich pay accountants, the wealthy pay politicians.

Too often we hand the biggest microphones to the cynics and the critics who delight in declaring failure.

Wow, I can’t imagine what it was like to comment in morse code.

We’ll be taking my thoughts and prayers to the ballot box.

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

People are complicated. Love is not.

We still have time to mess this up!

Bad news for Ron DeSantis is great news for America.

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Cynicism Works

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Cause:

Like a retreating army, Republicans are tearing up railroad track and planting legislative land mines to make it harder for Democrats to govern when they take power in Congress next month.

Already, the Republican leadership has moved to saddle the new Democratic majority with responsibility for resolving $463 billion in spending bills for the fiscal year that began Oct. 1.

Effect:

Democrats unveil massive spending bill

WASHINGTON – Democrats have unveiled a massive spending bill combining the budgets of 13 Cabinet agencies with increases in aid for lower-income college students, while cutting President Bush’s funding requests for foreign aid and closing military bases.

Contrary to popular opinion it turns out that Republicans are good at something. Too bad it isn’t governing.

Reader Interactions

42Comments

  2. 2.

    Pb

    What maroons.

    Democrats have unveiled a massive spending bill

    It’s called a freaking budget, and it happens every year (except when it doesn’t, see above etc.). But check this out (from the same article!):

    There are plenty of reasons for members of Congress to be unhappy, not the least of which is that thousands of pet projects for lawmakers’ districts and states have been erased.

    Aha, the real reason for the GOP outrage comes out! Waah! I want my pork!

  4. 4.

    Jake

    J. Bonher sez: “If we’re going to spend $463 billion of the taxpayers’ funds, we ought to have more than an hours’ worth of debate.”

    Unless said taxpayers funds are being spent on PonyQuest (TM).

    Boo-friggin-hoo.

  5. 5.

    Zifnab

    House Minority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, Tuesday slammed Democrats’ plans to advance the huge $463.5 billion measure through the House on Wednesday without giving Republicans or rank and file Democrats a chance to offer changes in an Appropriations Committee session or on the floor.

    Said Boehner, “If we don’t pass spending bills during our tenure in Congress, I don’t see why Democrats get to do it. Why are Democrats exerting their authority? Whaaaaaaaaaa!”

  9. 9.

    norbizness

    I knew that the Strawbs’ song “The Man Who Called Himself Jesus” was a documentary, sang in real-time.

    You know, with circus janitors cleaning up huge piles of elephant shit being a stock character in our national consciousness, you’d think that the narrative on the spending bills would be different.

  10. 10.

    Tsulagi

    Like a retreating army, Republicans are tearing up railroad track and planting legislative land mines to make it harder for Democrats to govern when they take power in Congress next month.

    Yeah, but in their defense they’ve haven’t lit up the oilfields. Yet. They’ve got honor and integrity.

  11. 11.

    scarshapedstar

    Jesus is here.

    Isn’t he already sitting in the White House? He’s not just Jesus, he’s the Kwisatz Haderach!

  12. 12.

    dreggas

    Yeah, but in their defense they’ve haven’t lit up the oilfields. Yet. They’ve got honor and integrity.

    That would piss off their base at Exxon. After all they have contracts.

  13. 13.

    Pb

    Jesus is here.

    Hoo boy. I can settle this one in five minutes:

    Then one night in 1973, he says, he awoke to a vision of two hulking men at his bedside who announced the arrival of the Lord, who, says de Jesus, “came to me and integrated with me.”

    So ask him something in Aramaic.

    But as his following expanded, his claims did, too. In 1998, de Jesus avowed that he was the reincarnation of the Apostle Paul. Two years ago at Growing in Grace’s world convention in Venezuela, he declared himself Christ. And just last week, he called himself the Antichrist and revealed a “666” tattooed on his forearm.

    Wait… he was Paul, and then he was Christ, and then the Antichrist? Gimmie a break. Pick one, Jose!

    All members of Growing in Grace are expected to tithe—which, along with offerings, yielded $1.4 million for headquarters last year. One of the first orders of business at every service is the collection of money (credit cards accepted).

    Oh, I get it. To quote George Carlin:

    But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more.

  15. 15.

    AkaDad

    If we just reinstated the Fairnes Doctrine, we wouldn’t have all this liberal bias in the media.

  16. 16.

    Tsulagi

    Iraqi Waco?

    Pretty good analogy. Yep, we’re fighting the Rapture nuts over there so we don’t have to fight them here.

    But sweet Jesus, now we got a Puerto Rican Rapture nut who can’t decide whether he’s Christ or the Antichrist. Does Revelations say anything about Puerto Rico?

  18. 18.

    Jake

    “came to me and integrated with me.”

    What a novel euphemism for “Hot n’ sweaty three-way.” I bet Ted sHaggard it jealous as hell.

    ThymeZone could you please rein in your yard man?

  19. 19.

    cleek

    A Puerto Rican minister says Christ ‘integrated’ with him. Others call him a cult leader and a charlatan.

    right, there are always two sides to every story.

  20. 20.

    dreggas

    cleek Says:

    A Puerto Rican minister says Christ ‘integrated’ with him. Others call him a cult leader and a charlatan.

    right, there are always two sides to every story.

    Christ suddenly has Chris Rocks voice and screams “I HAVE JUST BEEN VIOLATED!”

  23. 23.

    yet another jeff

    Massive spending bill…Puerto Rican Psuedo-Christ on a Crutch.

    How much debate should be allowed in how to clean up a mess that was left for you? Isn’t that like a deadbeat dad complaining about the college classes the kid he’s not supporting is taking?

  25. 25.

    srv

    This guy gives me hope.

    I’ve been working on my own religion for 5 years now, integrating WWWF, Nascar and WeightWatchers.

  27. 27.

    Pb

    Andrew Taylor, AP hack–RedState is pushing another misleading story of his–“Republicans Block House Pay Raise“. Bullshit. The real story: “Senate Democrats on Tuesday vowed to block pay raises for members of Congress until the minimum wage is increased”–CNN (via Daily Kos). Which is probably why the Republicans stopped filibustering the minimum wage bill…

  30. 30.

    Dave

    Well didn’t the people know that that by putting the Democrat party into power we’d get these big pork filled spending bills? I mean come on the GOP is the party of fiscal responsibility. The Democrat party is the party of Tax and Spend.

  31. 31.

    Zifnab

    In December, a GOP-drafted bill delayed implementation of the pay raise until Feb. 16. Democratic leaders tried in recent days to craft language to delay the pay raise a few more weeks or months to provide more time for the minimum wage bill to advance into law.

    Republicans said no.

    Gee. That totally don’t sound like the GOP “Blocking a House Pay Raise” so much as a GOP spite-fest. But far be it for the Washington Post to pitch a neutral story. Or to interview anyone other than Minority Whimp Roy Bunt.

  32. 32.

    Pb

    Zifnab,

    It’s an AP story–I don’t think WaPo even changed the headline. However, they ran with it, so they do share some of the blame. Of course, the RedState mischaracterization of it is way more ridiculous, but what else is new.

  34. 34.

    Jake

    Barbarella Remake in the works

    [Smacks forehead] Barbarella, Duran Duran. D’oh!
    Sorry, just making a belated song/band connection. Yeesh.

    Anyhoo, if this thing doesn’t scream “Get Pam Anderson’s agent on the phone!” I don’t know what does.

  37. 37.

    ThymeZone

    ThymeZone could you please rein in your yard man?

    You know, he’s a man of his own mind. As he was cutting my grass today and turning some water into wine, which, frankly, is not that good for the lawn, I could see that he was deeply troubled ……..

  39. 39.

    Krista

    You know, he’s a man of his own mind. As he was cutting my grass today and

    turning some water into wine,

    which, frankly, is not that good for the lawn, I could see that he was deeply troubled ……..

    He must be a popular party guest, though.

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