Goldstein’s half-witted sidekick, Dan Collins, is in high dudgeon over my post yesterday, on of all things, Anna Nicole Smith:
You’ve got a weird sense of humor, John. Of course, we all know that there’s no such thing as a feminist alcoholic exhibitionist. Except for Ted Kennedy.
Fuck off, man. I guess, to put it as I seem to recall somebody else did somewhere, you’ve arrived. How does it feel? I’ll make an attempt to imagine your surprise, if you’ll try and imagine our disgust. Deal?
Appears I somehow may have offended her, ahem, dignity, and that has Collins all aflutter. At least I think that is the point of his post. Not totally sure, though.
*** Yawn ***
BTW, Dan- you missed someone else.
*** Update ***
Even funnier, he thinks I was defending Amanda. Don’t drink and blog, Dan. We hereby nominate Dan’s post for most incoherent post of 2007. Of course, the year is young, who knows how many gems I will crank out.
Sirkowski
Sirkowski: Anna Nicole Smith is dead
Adam First: I know
Adam First: I was celebrating
Sirkowski: lol
Now that I realize that Anna Nicole Smith was a victim of Patriarchy (on Goldstein’s blog, the irony), I feel kinda bad for laughing.
NOT!
Seriously… uh, is Dan a woman? And is there really a feminist on Goldstein’s blog or is it satire? I’m confused…
yet another jeff
Well, she’s our trailer park Lady Di.
scarshapedstar
I hereby nominate every one of Dan (no relation*) Riehl’s posts thus far. Future ones also.
*I hope.
Andrew
JACK CAFFERTY, CNN ANCHOR: Is Anna Nicole Smith still dead, Wolf?
BLITZER: Yes, we’re going to — updating our viewers coming up shortly on…
CAFFERTY: I can’t wait for that.
BLITZER: … the mysterious circumstances surrounding that, Jack. Thank you.
Andrew
Damn you, repost!
But that was a great line by Cafferty.
Kevin K.
I thought Pablo was actually Goldstein’s half-witted sidekick. Collins is more like his fart-nibbling foil.
jake
Give him a break, he must be in mourning. After all, his dream of coming across ANS while she was passed out from her latest bender has been finally and irrevocably shattered.
RSA
Come on, everyone knows the rules: You’re only allowed to make fun of dead women if they were liberal peace activists.
Dennis
John, I am so hurt by Anna’s death! How cruel you are! After all WE could be the father of her child!
Signed,
Waiting for Paternity
mishu
I wonder how much Juan here would weep if Natalie Maines bought the farm.
AkaDad
I second the nomination…
The Other Steve
My goodness. How is Tawanda doing these days?
Apparently he’s still desperate to drive traffic to his blog.
TR
You have to wonder why he’s so shaken up by the death of a former Playmate. They must’ve shared many warm memories together, I guess.
Otto Man
Alright, I’ve read this three times and it still doesn’t make a lick of sense.
So, Anna Nicole Smith is major news, because she had televised intervention on basic cable and was the spokesperson for a third-tier weight loss program, but the Libby trial, what with its insight into the top levels of a secretive government, is not. Check.
Anna Nicole Smith is not a sellout, despite getting paid to do everything from strip naked to taking medication on camera, despite marrying a 90-year-old billionaire — for love, people! — and despite shilling for whatever product would have her. But those bloggers who have taken a job blogging — where they’ll make literally hundreds of dollars! — well, they are the true sellouts.
I’m speechless.
Andrew
Hey, your blogfight made memorandum’s list.
This means that everyone involved is a huge tool.
crack
I’m surprised anyone expects anything different from Goldstein’s blog.
Pooh
Now can we call him “Pasty?”
t. jasper parnell
Do you (J.C.) really have a ‘bent?
furriskey
You people are really not very articulate, are you? Bit thin on the comprehension front too.
Dreggas
That’s just too damn funny. Guess the guy is just pissed because his favorite masturbatorial fantasy is now a corpse and while he might fuck dogs in the ass necrophilia is a hard limit.
Andrew
do u like pie too???
Darrell
Right on cue:
Dreggas
wow Darrell better slow down, might run out of brain cells to use for one day.
Andrew
I agree, Darrell. Dreggas was quite articulate in his consideration of Jeff Goldstein’s totally fucked up psycho-sexual rantings.
Dreggas
Why Thank you.
furriskey
Sorry, I was wrong. You are subnormal, but provided you stick together, which I have no doubt you do, you should make it through to your own elegant deaths in good time.
Dreggas
Hmmm subnormal…I’ve been called abnormal before but never subnormal. Either way I take it as a compliment.
Andrew
Lo and hearken to this valiant warrior of verbiage! Such bombast is quite grandiloquent, styled with such a turn of phrase so as to be reminiscent of a half-drunk Victorian dandy, at once both subliminal in determined affect and like a chorale of angry eunuchs brought to bear against the enemies of his grand vizier’s harem of fools.
Also, fuck you.
Justin Slotman
Man, John keep cutting off any potential PW-BJ feud at the knees, even though both commentariats would clearly love one. Couldn’t you guys get together behind the scenes and work a feud pro wrestling-style? (Not that all blogfights aren’t fundamentally WWE in nature.)
tBone
Pretentious? Check. Garbled syntax? Check. Handle which vaguely suggests propensities for hot man-on-dog action? Check.
Say, I wonder if this guy is from Protein Wisdom?
Perry Como
Does a bitch beater do some cock slappin’?
jake
Glad to know I’m not the only one wondering about his/her/[fur?] name. Each to his own I always say. Unless your own involves animals (stuffed or living). Gah.
Pablo
Kevin K. says:
“I thought Pablo was actually Goldstein’s half-witted sidekick.”
I see somebody needs a good swift kick in the pussy.
You go ahead and run with that, girlfriend. I’ll catch up with you later, k?
furriskey
“Lo and hearken to this valiant warrior of verbiage! Such bombast is quite grandiloquent, styled with such a turn of phrase so as to be reminiscent of a half-drunk Victorian dandy, at once both subliminal in determined affect and like a chorale of angry eunuchs brought to bear against the enemies of his grand vizier’s harem of fools.”
I know you! You were Dick van Dyke’s dialogue coach for Mary Poppins, weren’t you? You illiterate Septic wanker.
Garbled syntax? Check. Handle which vaguely suggests propensities for hot man-on-dog action? Check.
I see you are too smart for me, T bone. Your own grammatical structures are a thing of beauty at which we can but gaze in awe.
Stick it up your festering arse and breathe in deeply.
Kevin K.
I see somebody needs a good swift kick in the pussy.
You go ahead and run with that, girlfriend. I’ll catch up with you later, k?
Pablo, thanks. I’ll stop by your blog for my pussy kicking a bit later.
tBone
The answer appears to be yes:
The retarded apples don’t fall far from the tree.
Zifnab
Wait, wait. There’s a good point in here. You take a look at the modern MSM, and how it covers the Libby Trial or the Iraq War or any given electoral cycle, hurricanes and forest fires and crime and scandal, and it looks exactly like how they handle Anna. Vapid reporters with nothing to say get on camera and babble between flashing photography that is designed to get the viewer interested, but not actually concerned or involved. Anything that’s not PG rated gets screened out. And “both sides of the story” get a fresh coat of paint, regardless of their validaty or accuracy.
In such a bland, mindless setting, at least Anna Nicole is hot. John McCain is not. So Anna gets better ratings.
CNN/MSNBC/FOX have discovered that if you splice E! with world events, you can get a viewership that pays the bills with much less overhead than actual reporting. Don’t let yourself blame the dead set of boobs over this TV crap, blame the live boobs.
Richard 23
C’mon fellas. Anna Nicole Smith wouldn’t want us to fight.
Maybe furriskey meant “Subgenius” rather than “subnormal.”
Newport 9
The group that popularized the phrase “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”?
Could be. Could well be.
dreggas
I do believe I have found myself a new religion…or founded one.
Tlaloc
“Come on, everyone knows the rules: You’re only allowed to make fun of dead women if they were liberal peace activists.”
Yep. And the corrolary is ALSO true: yucking it up over ANS’ death is just as funny as all those Rachel Corrie jokes. Fucking HI-Larious-ous.
Seriously, Cole, didn’t you leave Redstate to get away from this kind of bullshit? You were tactless about the death of another human being, one whose worst crime appears to be that she had a drinking problem. Just say you’re sorry and move on.