With the entry of the completely manufactured Abraham Lincoln quote entered into the Congressional Record by Don (Bridge to Nowhere) Young (R-Alaska), the stakes have been raised in our contest. It is now up to you to come up with an entirely manufactured or a modified historical fake but accurate quote, and help me see to it that it is entered into the Congressional Record.
Again, the rules:
Take an actual famous or well-known quote from the past, and modify it slightly so that it either attacks liberals, shows gushing support for Bush and his policies, or both. Or make up a quote that sounds plausible, yet is completely fabricated.
Place your quote in the comments here or the previous post, and we will vote on the winners on Monday.
Sstarr
“George W. Bush’s noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.”
-Jebediah Springfield
Paul Wartenberg
Wait a minute. Don Young put a fake quote into the Congressional Record?!?!?
SUE THE SONOFABITCH!!!
Perry Como
“Let us have faith that might makes right, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” — Abraham Lincoln, Cooper Institute Address, February 27, 1860.
dreggas
“Somebody told me muslims were frightening, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.”
– Jack Handy
Ugh
“It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these campaign donors we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave their last full dollar contribution — that we here highly resolve that these contributors shall not have donated in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom™ — government of the GOP, by the GOP, for the GOP, shall not perish from the earth.” Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863.
dreggas
“The true republic: Patriots, their rights and nothing more; dissenters, the noose and nothing less.”
– Franklin P. Adams
Off Colfax
Good things do not come to those who wait, for they are only waiting for death.
— George Scott Patton, Jr.
Bubblegum Tate
What a cromulent quote.
Myrtle Parker
Atrios comes in with this mighty contender:
LOL I’d love to see that in the congressional record.
dreggas
For a people who are free, and who mean to remain so, an unquestioned Commander In Chief is their best security.”
– Thomas Jefferson
Perry Como
“Regimes planted by bayonets take root.” — Ronald Reagan, Empire of Evil speech
dreggas
“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because you decided it needed to be done.”
-General Dwight D. Eisenhower
Myrtle Parker
Here’s mine:
demkat620
Extremism in the defense of George Bush is no vice.
Barry Goldwater
Lit3Bolt
And verily, Bush begat Bush, and it was good. And the Father took his rest in the house to live out his days, while the Son took up the sword and the yoke of his land. And when the Hittites attacked the land of milk and honey, the Son dropped the yoke and took up sword and shield to defend his land. And it was good, except when the Son tripped and fell on the way to his chariot, which he hooked his least trained horsers to, then managed to shoot arrows over the heads of the Hittites to slaughter mice in the fields. And as the fields burned and the abode crumbled and the servents fled and were killed, the Son cursed his family home, for clearly it had betrayed him in his hour of need. And he continued to kill mice in wrath. And it was not good.
-a reading from the Apostle Buckley’s letter to the Koolaidians, 24:16
jg
Theodore Roosevelt
Actual quote:
To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
Downpuppy
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the enemies of the military industrial complex.
We must never let our liberties or democratic processes embolden our enemies. We should take nothing for granted. Only a loyal and obedient citizenry can enable the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.
-Eisenhower
dreggas
“The man who can’t make a mistake is President.”
– Abraham Lincoln
demimondian
“Regimes planted with bayonets never take root. You must waterboard your garden to make it grow.” — Ronald Reagan
jg
“The U.S. Constitution is a suicide pact”
Osama bin Laden, in recently translated emails to Saddam.
tBone
“A bad plan ineptly executed today is better than a perfect plan executed tomorrow.” – George S. Patton
tBone
“A stranger to our politics, who was to read our newspapers at the present juncture, without having previously inspected the plan reported by the Decider, would be naturally led to one of two conclusions: either Democrats want the terrorists to win, or they are huge pussies. Or both.” – Alexander Hamilton, Federalist 24
dreggas
I realise that patriotism is not enough. I must have hatred and bitterness towards everyone. – Cavell, Edith
DougJ
“There will come a time in this country, when men will be forced to give up their right to dissent in order that a larger battle against evil forces may be waged effectively. When that time comes, all who oppose our president must be imprisoned, for to undermine our leaders at such a time would surely be treason.” — Thomas Jefferson, letter to Sally Jennings from Paris
Dave
“Don Young, I never said any of that you worthless twit” – Abraham Lincoln 1848
tBone
“The President is the most important among a large number of public servants . . . Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be no liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is never acceptable to blame him when he does wrong, only to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both treacherous and traitorous.” – Theodore Roosevelt, Kansas City Star Editorial, May 7, 1918
dreggas
Everyone loathes his own country and countrymen if he is any sort of Democrat. – Durrell, Lawrence
Quote Vadis
“I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty and give traitors death!” – Patrick Henry
“The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of traitors and tyrants. It is it’s natural manure.” – Thomas Jefferson
dreggas
The citizen who criticizes his country is paying a traitor. – J William Fulbright
gah
“…it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship. … All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.”– George W. Bush
dan
God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son George W. Bush, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life unless you are a liberal or a terrorist which will get you water-boarded and set straight to hell or Guantanamo Bay, which ever comes first.
John 3:16
Quote Vadis
“We shall fight them on their beaches, so we don’t have to fight them on ours” – Winston Churchill
dreggas
It seems that American patriotism measures itself against an outcast group. The right Americans are the right Americans because they’re not like the wrong Americans, who are not really Americans. – Hobsbawm, Eric J.
Unchanged…
Quote Vadis
“Ask not what other countries can do for you. Ask what unilaterally your country can do.” – John Kennedy.
Quote Vadis
“Blessed be those that are with you, for everyone else is against you.” – The Beatitudes.
CaseyL
“A great empire and little minds go very well together. I lament the fact that I will not live long enough to see the American King, George W. Bush (who makes our own King George look quite intelligent and sane by comparison) prove this assertion by bringing what must be the smallest mind ever to occupy the highest office of a once-great nation.” – Edmund Burke
cornelius
“I found Baghdad a city of bricks and left it a city of rubble.” – C. Augustus.
jake
If we don’t see any signs of improving stability in Iraq after Petraeus is given his chance, we probably ought to acknowledge that the Iraqis just aren’t able or willing to take the opportunity given to them. There may be too many Iraqis whose culture is too broken. Or not. We’ll see. – Condolezza Rice
cd6
“Fuck the Democrat Party”
-George Washington
Quote Vadis
“Victory does not mean exit strategy, and it’s not important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.” – President Bush
cd6
“Global warming? What a load of horseshit.”
-Thomas Edison
Yeah, he said it. Read it and weep, moonbats.
Quote Vadis
“There ought to be limits to freedom.” – Nancy Pelosi
“A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there’s no question about it.” – Hillary Clinton
demimondian
“Blessed are the peace-breakers, for the shall be called the Kings of the Levant.” — J. Christ
Quote Vadis
“I can hear you, the rest of the world hears you. And the people like those who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon.” – President Bush
neil
This one is tough to beat. DougJ is, as we all know, a master of this particular art.
Richard 23
“I hate the troops.” – John Kerry
“I was not covert.” – Valerie Plame
“I am an idiot.” – Dan Riehl
“I suck at this.” – R23
Fledermaus
— Heinrich Heine
Quote Vadis
“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. Unless the President decides otherwise.” – Fourth Amendment
Hyperion
excellent, folks! i’m impressed. and entertained.
Bravo. Three yuks and a guffaw.
chopper
“give me liberty or give me pie” – p. henry
tBone
“Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people. And if you don’t like it, you can fuck off, hippy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Dixie
“We must not confuse dissent with democracy. When the liberal opposition dies, I think the soul of the American enemy dies with it.” –Edward R. Murrow
“No one can terrorize a whole nation, unless the Democrat party is his accomplice.” –Edward R. Murrow
“Allowing free thought and speech in time of war is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.” –William O. Douglas
“In a time of universal terrorism, crushing dissent becomes a revolutionary act.” –George Orwell
Holy hell. It’s scary how easy it is to do this kind of shit.
Quote Vadis
“The defense policy of the United States is based on a simple premise: The United States may start fights.” – Ronald Reagan.
Pb
“Environmentalists are a socialist group of individuals that are the tool of the Democrat Party. I’m proud to say that they are my enemy. They are not Americans, never have been Americans, never will be Americans.” — Abraham Lincoln
“Another day breaks and the last one’s gone /
You dig deep just to carry on /
Your debt’s paid off but it don’t feel gone /
So you slip out the back and you’re moving on” — Don Young
“Ah pity the foo’ who messes with the Congressional record. Stay in school!” — Mr. T
Rev Shabbazz
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, For they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
-Dick Cheney
“Meet the Press”
Sunday April 20, 2006
demimondian
Having already blasphemed the Beatitudes above, I shouldn’t be upset — but, you know, putting the real ones in the mouth of Dick Cheney really upsets me. He’s lived by *none* of them: he has been rich in power, has mourned none of those he killed, has been proud, has willfully and repeatedly misled and deceived, been merciless, lived by lies, broken the peace on multiple occasions, and, far from being persecuted for righteousness’ sake, has persecuted others for their righteousness.
fwiffo
“Everyone is entitled to their own facts, but not their own opinions.” — Sen. Dan Moynihan
ThymeZone
“I got your fuckin American Experiment right here, bitches!”
Justice William Rehnquist, December 11, 2000.
Pb
“Saddam’s planning envisioned placing toxic chemical and biological agents in aerosol cans and perfume sprayers for shipment to the United States and Europe.” — Abraham Lincoln
JWeidner
Biker #2: I say we kill ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Biker #3: I say we hang ’em, then we kill ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Biker #4: I say we scalp ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Biker #4: Then we tattoo ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Biker #4: Then we hang ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Biker #4: And then we kill ’em!
Biker Gang: YEAH!
Pee WeeBill Clinton: [trying to throw voice without moving lips] I say we let the librul go.Biker Gang: NO!
Jess
“He who is unwilling to sacrifice freedom for security is a terrorist lover.” –Ben Franklin
Jess
Osama makes me wet! –Jane Fonda
Jess
“Me too!” –Sean Penn
chdb
“Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet claim the right to agitate against authority, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground.” — Frederick Douglass
“He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard against his enemy in predisposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a weakness that reaches only himself.” — Thomas Paine
craigie
“You Democrats can’t handle the truth!”
– General Dick Cheney, Guantanamo
Pseudonymous
In time of war, it is not only treason to object to the application of any instrument, including infliction of corporal suffering, in furtherance of the eventual triumph of liberty, but it is indeed the essence of liberty itself that these traitors, having shown themselves to be enemies of liberty, should themselves be made to suffer those measures of which they would deny us the use.
Gen. George Washington
Richard 23
“Having already blasphemed the Beatitudes above, I shouldn’t be upset—but, you know, putting the real ones in the mouth of Dick Cheney really upsets me. He’s lived by none of them: he has been rich in power, has mourned none of those he killed, has been proud, has willfully and repeatedly misled and deceived, been merciless, lived by lies, broken the peace on multiple occasions, and, far from being persecuted for righteousness’ sake, has persecuted others for their righteousness.” – demimondian
Sounds like treason.
“Osama makes me wet my pants!” – Mark Steyn, Hugh Hewitt, Fox and Friends and many others.
“Is this thing on?” – Julia Gorin, The America Show. Episode 3 “Wal*Mart Rocks!” now playing!
sidereal
“He who would trade security for some temporary liberty deserves neither security nor liberty” – Benjamin Franklin
“Keep away your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
I reject the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
These, the homeless, tempest-tost are nothing to me.
I dim my lamp and close the door”
Emma Lazurus, 1883
41
“I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious, of traitors. Unless the source is a moonbat desk jockey ” – George H. W. Bush
Jess
Very nice!
DonkeyKong
“I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal as long as they ain’t muslim hugging,fudgepacking democrates”-Abraham Lincoln “Speech at Chicago, Illinois” (July 10, 1858)
DonkeyKong
“I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all men are created free and equal as long as they are not fudge packing democrates”-Abraham Lincoln “Speech at Chicago, Illinois” (July 10, 1858)
MB
“The Death Tax is the greatest plague that can afflict humanity; it destroys religion, it destroys states, it destroys families. Any scourge is preferable to it.” –Martin Luther
Wilfred
“Liberty exists in proportion to wholesome restraint; the more restraint on others to protect ourselves, the more liberty we have.”
– Daniel Webster
Quote Vadis
…Ironically, it’s striking how much actual conservative folk wisdom circulates as misquotations.
“That government is best which governs least” – Not said by Jefferson.
“If you’re not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you’re not a conservative at forty you have no brain.” – Not said by Winston Churchill (who, for his part, was Conservative at 15 and Liberal at 35)
“We sleep peaceably in our beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on our behalf.” – Not said by George Orwell. This was very popular in 2003, and may be in the congressional record as well.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it for themselves; and, under a just God, can long retain it.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III, “Letter To Henry L. Pierce and Others” (April 6, 1859), p. 376.
Wilfred
“What constitutes the bulwark of our own liberty and independence? It is our frowning battlements, our bristling sea coasts, our army and our navy. These are our reliance agaisnt tyranny. All of these can be turned against others without making us weaker for the struggle.”
– Abraham Lincoln, Speech at Edwardsville, Sep. 13 1858
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“As I would not be a slave, so I would be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume II, (August 1, 1858?), p. 532.
“Let us have faith that might makes right, and in that faith, let us, to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it.” Lincoln’s Cooper Institute Address, February 27, 1860.
“Common looking people are the worst in the world: that is the reason the Lord kills so many of them.” Lincoln and the Civil War In the Diaries and Letters of John Hay selected by Tyler Dennett (Da Capo Press, New York, 1988), p. 143.
“I cannot make it better known than it already is that I strongly favor colonization.” Lincoln’s Second Annual Message to Congress, December 1, 1862. (I left this one unchanged.)
“I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that right-wing Evangelical Christian have controlled me.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VII, “Letter to Albert G. Hodges” (April 4, 1864), p. 281.
“In takng freedom from the slave, we assure freedom to the free – honorable alike in what we give, and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of earth. Other means may succeed; this could not fail. The way is plain, peaceful, generous, just – a way which, if followed, the world will forever applaud, and God must forever bless.” Lincoln’s Second Annual Message to Congress, December 1, 1862.
Richard 23
Are you sure about that, Quote Vadis (if that’s your real name)? You must not be forty yet then, because you do sound like a barking moonbat.
I’ve heard this quote over and over. I hum myself to sleep with it. If Winnie didn’t say it, who did?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“With malice toward all, with charity for none, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to open up the nation’s wounds; to care not for him who shall have borne the battle, nor for his widow and his orphan – not to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations.” Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“A house divided against itself can stand. I believe this government can endure permanently half-slave and half-free. I do not expect the Union to be dissolved – I do not expect the house to fall – and I do not expect it will cease to be divided. It will not become all one thing or all the other.” Lincoln’s ‘House-Divided’ Speech in Springfield, Illinois, June 16, 1858.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would not accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came, and the moonbats were slaughtered.” Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address, March 4, 1865
Richard 23
“Doug Feith cannot compare in me in regards to stupidity.”
– Dan Riehl, yesterday.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“…that we here highly resolve that these dead shall have died in vain; that this nation shall not have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall perish from the earth.” Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, November 19, 2000.
Richard 23
NOTE: “compare to me” should have been “compare with me” or something like that.
But it’s hard to tell since Dan Riehl is such a fucking idiot.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“I have permitted myself, gentlemen, to conclude that I am the best man in the country; and I am reminded, in this connection, of a story of an old Dutch farmer who remarked to a companion once that ‘it was not best to swap horses while crossing streams’.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VII, “Reply to Delegation from the National Union League” (June 9, 1864), p. 384.
Richard 23
NOTE: “compare to me” should have been “compete with me” or something like that.
But it’s hard to tell since Dan Riehl is such a fucking idiot.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Whenever I hear any one arguing against slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VIII, “Speech to One Hundred Fortieth Indiana Regiment” (March 17, 1865), p. 361.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“The probability that you may fall in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just; it shall not deter me.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume I, “Speech on the Sub-Treasury” (in the Illinois House of Representatives, December 26, 1839), p. 178.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Leave nothing for today which can be done tomorrow.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume II, “Notes for a Law Lecture” (July 1, 1850?), p. 81.
“In regard to this Great Book, I have but to say, it is the best gift God has given to man. All the good the Savior gave to the world was communicated through this book.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VII, “Reply to Loyal Colored People of Baltimore upon Presentation of Ann Coulter’s book ‘Treason'” (September 7, 1864), p. 542.
“The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew, and act anew. We must enthrall our liberals, and then we shall save our country.” Lincoln’s Second Annual Message to Congress, December 1, 1862.
“I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in anyway the social and political equality of the white and black races – that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race. I say upon this occasion I do perceive that because the white man is to have the superior position the negro should be denied everything.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume III, “Fourth Debate with Stephen A. Douglas at Charleston, Illinois” (September 18, 1858), pp. 145-146. (Unchanged, except the last sentence.)
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“We are not friends, but enemies. We must not be friends. Though passion may have strained it must also break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will never again swell the chorus of the Union, if again touched, as surely they will not be, by the better angels of our nature.” Lincoln’s First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1861.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried and leftarded?” Lincoln’s Cooper Institute Address, February 27, 1860.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“There is no grievance that is not a fit object of redress by mob law.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume I, “Address Before the Young Men’s Lyceum,of Springfield, Illinois (January 27, 1838), p. 113.
“In my hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in yours, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will assail you. You can have conflict without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the Government, while I shall have the most solemn one to ‘kill moonbats wherever they may be found’.” Lincoln’s First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1861.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts, that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle. I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republicans they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours, to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom from Liberalism.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume VIII, “Letter to Mrs. Lydia Bixby” (November 21, 1864), pp. 116-117.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Stand with anybody that stands RIGHT. Stand with him while he is right and PART with him when he goes left.” The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume II, “Speech at Peoria, Illinois” (October 16, 1854), p. 273
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
How do we get these entered into the Congressional record? Should we email them to Don Young or something?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
On rereading these quotes, I have to say: that Lincoln guy was a real motherfucker, wasn’t he?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I put this in an earlier thread, but I’ll repost it because I like it and want to see it in the contest. (The lyrics are from The Coup, “Genocide and Juice”)
“Well if you’re blind as Helen Keller
You could see I’m david rockafella
So much cash up in my bathroom is a ready teller
I’m outragous, I work in stages, like syphills
But no need for prophylactics
I am up your own, so me know wretched ain’t funk
But my cream got amino acid
Keep my hoes in check no rebellions
If your ass occur shit it wouldnt be the first time
I done make a massacre, n—— please how you figure these
Motherfuckers like me got stocks bonds and securites
No impurities, straight Anglo-Saxon
When my family got their sex on
Don’t let me get my flex on, do some gangster shit
Make the army go to war for exxon
Long as the money flow, I be making dough
Welcome to my little pimp school
How you gonna beat me at this game? I make the rules
Flash a little cash make you think you got class
But you really selling ass and hoe keep off my grass
Less you cutting it, see I’m running shit
Trick all y’all motherfuckas as simps
I’m just a pimp” -David Rockefeller
justathought
We have no idea where the weapons are.
We have no idea if they’re near Baghdad or Tikrit, or North, East, South or West of there, somewhat.
justathought
Apologies…
but you know who that was, anyway.
Kevin K.
In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Congress. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist, and only the President of these great United States is authorized by the Constitution to use that awesome, untethered power however and whenever necessary.
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I’m thinking maybe I should withdraw this one from the competition:
It cuts a little too deeply for me. Sorry about that one, I wasn’t thinking clearly.
If it makes any difference to anyone, I did delete a post I was writing attributing 2 Live Crew lyrics with Ted Haggard. Also, one in which Lincoln praised America’s women with misogynistic profanity. So I’m trying my damnedest to keep this contest clean(ish).
Richard 23
“Me so horny.” – 2 Live Haggard
TheOtherKen
How about this fake quote? “The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.” — Allegedly said by George Bush on Sept 13, 2003 and quoted extensively on anti-Bush sites.
brendan
We must all hang Democrats together, or assuredly we could also hang them separately.
Ben Franklin, noted Republican.
History teaches that wars begin when the President says so, and that is good and right.
Ronald Reagan, Address to the Nation, Jan 16, 1984
ET
Too funny the WaPo had a story about this, of course they won’t change the Congressional Record.
cleek
“I meant what I said and I said what I meant.
A liberal’s treasonous one-hundred percent.”
— Dr Suess
“Democracy is the road to Bushism.”
— Karl Marx
“What experience and history teach is this – that only conservative governments learn anything from history, or act upon any lessons they might draw from it.”
— Hegel
“A society that has more conservatism is a society that needs less liberalism.
— Ralph Nader
ThymeZone
Karl Rove
curtis interruptus
“Women are great! Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust into them.”
-Rush Limbaugh
Pug
“Bring it on!” – Abraham Lincoln, July 20, 1861 in anticipation of the Battle of Bull Run.
ThymeZone
“US Government bonds are worthless pieces of liberal paper. See, that’s why we want more people to buy them, and plan their future on them. It lets people keep more of their ownmoney in our pockets, where it belongs.”
George Bush
ThymeZone
“The Defense of Camping Act makes a camping trip one hetero Christian man and one group of beautiful little boys, which is the foundation of civilization.”
Darrell
spencer
“I want to talk to you right now about a fundamental threat to American democracy. This threat is nearly invisible in ordinary ways, because it is a crisis of confidence. It is a crisis that strikes at the very heart and soul and spirit of our national will. We can see this crisis in the growing doubt about the meaning of war and in the loss of a unity of purpose for our nation, that purpose being to spread democracy at the barrel of a gun. Well, that, and to claim – by force if necessary – the world’s resources for America.”
– former President Jimmy Carter
annie's granny
“One of the amendments to the Constitution expressly declares that ‘Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press,’ thereby guarding in the same sentence and under the same words, the freedom of religion, of speech, and of the press; but that’s more what you’d call ‘guidelines’ than actual rules.”
~Thomas Jefferson
Cangrejero
“The best congress is one which has sense enough to allow the President to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with him while he does it.”
Theodore Roosevelt
ThymeZone
“It’s acceptable for nations to bomb mothers and children in their sleep when you’re fighting the terrissssssstss. When they hate you for your freedoms, you have to burn their children.”
George Bush, and Darrell
ThymeZone
“See, America doesn’t should be in the business of nation-building. That’s why I intend to put America in the business of nation-unbuilding. Especially in America where we’re building a liberal nation that doesn’t recognize the sanctity of marriage. See, I’ll put an end to that kind of America.”
George Bush
Michael Demmons
“Give me liberty, or give me debt.”
– Patrick Henry
Punchy
There comes a time in one’s life when defense of our fine country beholdens us Citizens to undertake sacrificies that make life uncomfortable, uneasy, and unfair. It is at these times that the voice of only one man must be louder than the rest; the clear and strong direction offered by the Vice President.
–Abraham Lincoln, Chappaquiddick, 1863.
cleek
“In the souls of the people the grapes of Republicanism are filling and growing heavy, growing heavy for the vintage.”
— John Steinbeck
“The President must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true. ”
— John Steinbeck
“All good, anonymous, on-background, press briefings have one thing in common – they are truer than if they had really happened. ”
— Hemingway
“Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to doggedly maintain that stance when he knows he is in error. ”
— Andrew Jackson
“It is a damn poor mind indeed which can’t think of at least two ways to sell any war.”
— Andrew Jackson
ThymeZone
“Attacks against my father, who has done nothing more than to exploit fear and bigotry against me and my gay community in order get votes and power for himself, are just despicable.”
Cheney’s Dike Bitch Daughter
cleek
“Terrorism is advocated only by persons who have themselves been terrorised.”
— Reagan
“My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Liberalism forever. The executions begin in five minutes.”
— Reagan
ThymeZone
“I’m cured now. I’ve been cornholed by God.”
Rev. Haggard
The Other Steve
Well, maybe this is a close entry. But TPM is reporting that Representatives from Georgia and Texas have been distributing some interesting memos.
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/012504.php
They’re claiming that not only was Darwin wrong. But so too was Copernicus! That is, evolution is wrong and the sun revolves around the Earth, bitches!
Darwin and Copernicus are part of some giant Jewish-Secular conspiracy to destroy our faith in God.
You gotta read the website they got their shit from… It’s awesome.
http://www.fixedearth.com
Luke Skywalker
“Face down, ass up- that’s the way me likes to fuck.”
-Ted Haggard
ThymeZone
“I still can’t understand why you have to be the real president and that little drunken Pinocchio fuck gets all the goddammed credit. Did that heart attack destroy your balls?”
Lynne Cheney
Walker
This is America. It should be “Give me liberty and give me debt.”
The Other Steve
Now that’s a classic!
jayinbmore
“No one ever lost money under estimating the intelligence of the members of United States congress.” — H.L. Mencken.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Fuck tha police.”
-Scooter Libby
kiche
Those who would demand compulsory service or increased taxation from the wealthy and privileged during a time of war are Communists trying to destroy our Freedom and Liberty.
-Theodore Roosevelt
RandyH
“A house divided against itself is a glorious work of architecture.”
-Abraham Lincoln
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to win.”
-Benjamin Franklin
“If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”
-Jimmy Carter
“See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.”
-George Washington
“You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.”
-Harry Truman
“I am not a crook”
-John F. Kennedy
“They hate our freedoms — our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other.”
-Martin Luther King
“Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
cleek
“When you break the law, do it out of sight: in all other cases be observed happily obeying it. ”
— Julius Caesar
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Facts are stupid things.”
-John Adams
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“What like a bullet can undeceive!” -Donald Rumsfeld
cleek
“The American womb abhors a vacuum.”
— TD Roosevelt
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Major combat operations have ended in the Little Bighorn Valley.”
-George Armstrong Custer, June 24, 1876
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“I think there were some differences, there’s no question, and will still be. We’re talking about a major, major situation here that requires constant work. But it was well worth it and there’s much more to it than just this – I mean just these sixteen accomplishments or whatever: I mean, we’ve got a major rapport – relationship of economics, major in the security, and all of that, we should not lose sight of.”
-Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof, the smoking gun that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.”
-Thomas Jefferson
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people.”
-Al Capone
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“America stands for liberty, for the pursuit of happiness and for the unalienable right for life. This right to life cannot be granted or denied by government because it does not come from government, it comes from the creator of life.”
-George Washington
“I wish the whole world had one neck, and I had my hands around it.”
-Dick Cheney
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Every nation in every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.”
-Lyndon Johnson, Gulf of Tonkin speech
“Bring them on.”
-Mark Foley
“Everywhere that freedom stirs, let tyrants fear.”
-Metamucil commercial, June-July-August 1993
“Faith crosses every border and touches every heart in every nation.”
-Friedrich Engels
“For all who love freedom and peace, the world without Saddam Hussein’s regime is a better and safer place.”
-Abraham Lincoln, April 13, 1865
“Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction.”
-US Declaration of Independence
“I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman.”
-J. Edgar Hoover
El Cid
“The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge…leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of public liberty.
“And that’s how we’ll get rid of all that Constitution and ‘freedom’ crap and make a stupid Republican a king.”
— George Washington, Farewell Address, 1796
http://www.yale.edu/lawweb/avalon/washing.htm
cleek
“You never need an argument for the use of violence, and you needn’t heed any argument against it.”
–Noam Chomsky
Punchy
Well…DUH! Took you this long to realize this?
cleek
“Bush looked at his two options. He knew that one of them was the right, and he knew that when you had decided which one of them was the right, then the other was the wrong, but he never could remember how to begin. ”
— AA Milne
cleek
“When you march up to attack a city, make its people a offer of peace. If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. When it’s in your hands, put to the sword all the men in it. As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby. ”
— Memo from the office of Doug Feith, Re: Operation Iraqi Freedom. Section 20 sec 10-17
tBone
The Collected Wisdom of Franklin Delano Roosevelt:
“Are you laboring under the impression that I read these memoranda of yours? I can’t even lift them. All right, you’ve covered your ass now.” (responding to PDB Titled ‘Hirohito Determined to Strike in US’)
“A nation that destroys its soils purifies itself. Forests are the leeches of our land, consuming our air and draining strength from our people.”
“Human kindness has ever weakened the stamina and softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does have to be cruel to be tough.”
“It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, denly it roundly and try it again. But above all, do not admit failure.”
“It is sufficient just to want – you don’t have to ask yourself what you are going to do to get the things you want.”
“More than an end to war, we want a beginning of all wars – yes, a beginning to this brutal, necessary and thoroughly practical method of settling the differences between governments.”
“The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people weak enough and ill-informed enough to submit its sovereign control to the goverment.”
“The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have little, it is whether we provide enough for those who have much.”
“We have always known that heedless self-interest was good morals; we now know that it is good economics.”
Paul L.
I know the Iraq war is unpopular. But I Dissent from that view. “No wonder Thomas Jefferson himself said: “Dissent is the greatest form of patriotism.” “
cleek
“If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid. But even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid.”
— from VP Dick Cheney’s testimony in the Libby perjury trial.
tBone
“Mr. Hamilton failed to signal properly, as a gentleman should. Furthermore, it was but a peppering of the ribs, liver, diaphragm, and vertebrae.” – spokesman for Aaron Burr, July 12, 1804
Blue Neponset
“We don’t want the smoking gun to be a non-binding resolution.”
– Condoleezza Rice
jenniebee
“I must now warn you to prepare for clouds and storms. Factions arise on every side, and threaten the tranquillity of your native country. But, whatever happen, do you faithfully honour and obey your prince, and adhere to the crown. I charge you never to forsake the crown, though it should hang upon a Bush.” – Sir Thomas Windham, 1636.
jenniebee
“I venture to say no war can be long carried on against the will of the people. Those who seek to destroy that will are as truly enemies to the purpose of the Government and the security of its people as are those in arms against it.” – Edmund Burke
DougJ
“The only traditions of the Democrat party are rum, sodomy, and the lash.” — Winston Churchill
Phlip
America won over the world not by the superiority of its morality or diplomacy or leadership, but rather by its superiority in applying follies, fantasies, and ponies. Americans often forget this fact, but the neocons never will.–Samuel Huntington
Wilfred
“Un-examined mail is not worth reading.”
-Socrates
Zombie Santa Claus
War is Heaven. -William Tecumseh Sherman
ThymeZone
“War? Bring me a bag of pretzels …. I need to think about it.”
George Bush
ThymeZone
“After being buttfucked by my liberal friends, I’ve figured out that the earth must travel around the sun.”
Copernicus
ThymeZone
“Why did I cross the Delaware? To kill those German queers at Trenton and save America from their disgusting gay agenda. Why the hell do you think?”
George Washington (on his deathbed)
ThymeZone
“All that work, taking a bullet in the head for you people, and all I get is a frigging car named after me? Oh, and a tunnel. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. Thanks so much. And no, you can’t call the GOP the party of me. They are a bunch of knuckle draggers.”
Abraham Lincoln (from seance with his ghost)
Pinson
“To constantly prepare for and pursue war is the most effectual means of preserving peace. To deny this most basic of truths is cowardly and shameful, standing directly athwart those ideals this young nation endeavors to embrace.”
George Washington
Speech to both Houses of Congress, Jan. 8, 1790.
Zombie Santa Claus
“I thought I’d catch that McGreevey guy while I was there and roast his ass, but it turns out he isn’t going to be born for another 160 years. Lucky bastard!”
Zombie Santa Claus
“At least nobody’s outed you from beyond the grave yet, you fucking ingrate!”
-Rush Limbaugh
ThymeZone
“Ask not. Period. I’m the decider, you don’t get to ask me. When I want you to have an opinion I will give it to you.”
George Bush (to his mother)
Tara the anti-social social worker
Dick Cheney’s daughter is a liberal.
-John Kerry
Good night, and good luck hunting down liberals and killing them.
-Edward R. Murrow
War is liberal peace. Freedom is liberal slavery. ignorance is liberal strength.
-George Orwell
Atrios still wins, though.
http://atrios.blogspot.com/2007_02_11_atrios_archive.html#117158505861832757
ThymeZone
“Yeah, I’m a Republican. If there’s one thing Relativity proves, it’s that the earth is 6000 years old. Relatively speaking. BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA.”
Albert Einstein, to his Princeton colleagues
dreggas
George bush loves me this I know
For Dick Cheney tells me so
Republicans to him belong
they are weak but he is strong.
Yes, George Bush Loves me
Yes, George Bush Loves me
Yes, George Bush Loves me
Dick Cheney Tells me so.
______________________________________________________
Our Father who art in Washington
Dubya be thy name
Thy Cod piece come
Thy Will be done
In Iran as it is in Iraq
Give us this day our daily
talking points
And forgive us our ignorance
As we forgive those
who are ignorant to us.
For thine is the White house
And the power and the glory
of Flight suits for ever and ever
Amen.
Zombie Santa Claus
“If the world is more than 6000 years old, the dinosaurs win.”
-Charles Darwin
ThymeZone
“Mr. Watson …. come here! I need to suck you off!”
Liberal gay fiend A. Graham “Cracker” Bell, in the first words spoken over his new invention, the Gayphone.
(Even then, families were being destroyed by the gay fiends. When will it stop?)
ThymeZone
“That faggot MacArthur can kiss my pink Missouri ass before I will let him work his gay agenda on those little Koreans.”
Harry “The Rod” Truman
Zombie Santa Claus
“Just don’t bite it.”
– Bill Clinton
“After I nut, I’mma leave ya because I’m a deceiva, because- bitch- I don’t need ya.”
-Dick Cheney, discussing his next career move on “Meet the Press”
ThymeZone
“I don’t have to know where it is. I’m the fucking president around here. Now are we going to Camp Krusty, I mean David, today or not? Where is the chopper I asked for, godfucking dammit?”
George Bush, when asked to point to Iraq on a globe.
Zombie Santa Claus
“Don’t say ‘fuck me.’ Fuck you, you dilly, silly bitch.”
-Andrew Jackson, to Daniel Webster
dreggas
Amigo, the only thing in this world that gives orders is balls. Balls. You got that?
– Tony Montana referring to the flight suit episode,
Zombie Santa Claus
“Just say ‘No’ to drugs, kids.”
-Oliver North
Zombie Santa Claus
“This town like a great big pussy, just waitin’ to get fucked.”
-George Bush, on Washington DC.
Quote Vadis
“America will never again seek a permission slip to defend the security of our people.”
– George W. Bush, after publicly failing to secure a UN resolution backing the use of force against Iraq, in March 2003.
Wilfred
(To Surfin’ USA)
If anybody had a conscience
In the CIA
Then everybody’d be perp walked
Down to Gitmo Bay
You’d see them wearing their leg chains
Orange jumpsuits too
Funky lookin’ shaved heads, boy
Boardin’ Gitmo Bay
You’d catch ‘em boardin’ in Kabul
And on the Helmand line
Philippines and Malta
England’s Apennines
All over Romainya
And down the Appian Way
Everybody’s gone boardin’
Boardin’ USA
(Cheesy Keyboards)
We’d all be bowing towards Mecca
Prayin’ to die real soon
Saran wrappin’ our foreheads
We can’t speak Pashtoon
We’ll all be gone till the war ends
We’re in isolation for good
Tell our mothers we’re boardin’
Boardin’ Gitmo Bay
Perry Como
“First they came for the Homosexuals, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Homosexual.
Then they came for the Immigrants, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t an Immigrant.
Then they came for the Scientists, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Scientist.
Then they came for the Secular Hollywood Jews, and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Secular Hollywood Jew.
Then they came for the Liberals, and I rejoiced.” — Bill Donohue
Irv
“Michael Moore is fat, Ted Kennedy is a drunk, Chelsea Clinton is ugly and Hillary Clinton has ugly legs.”
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
Damned at Random
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any Constitution.
Abraham Lincoln
Irv
“If you can’t stand the heat, then get out of George Bush’s kitchen.”
— Harry S. Truman
Damned at Random
More from Lincoln (really)
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and.. and… can’t be fooled again.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them cherry-picked intel.
I will party and get stoned, and perhaps my chance will come.
I am for those means which will give the greatest good to Haliburton.
ThymeZone
“Is god on our side? Yes, if we trash the buttfuckers and the liberals. Damned straight he is.”
Abe “Continental Kit” Lincoln
cleek
“When people are oppressed by their government, it is a natural right they enjoy to have an outside country involuntarily relieve them of oppression, if they are lucky enough to control suitable natural resources, by overthrowing it and substituting a government more acceptable to that external power. ”
— Ulysses S Grant
Richard 23
“I was drunk when I drafted the bill of rights. It was a big joke.”
— James Madison
“There is no right to privacy in the Constitution. That’s a feature, not a bug.”
— James Madison
“The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized, unless it’s inconvenient.”
— Fourth Amendment to the Constitution
Irv
“Well, that’s about it. That’s what we have and that’s what we owe. It isn’t very much but Pat and I have the satisfaction that every dime that we’ve got is honestly ours. I should say this—that unlike Hillary Clinton–Pat doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat. And I always tell her that she’d look good in anything.”
— Richard Nixon
Irv
“In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the Hollywood homosexual complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.”
— President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Zifnab
“I’m not leaving till I find that pony!”
~George Bush Sr.
Mike
“You go to war with the President you have, not the President you want, or wish you might have”
Donald Rumsfailed
Zifnab
“Ask not what your country can do for you, cause they’ll only raise your taxes.”
~John F. Kennedy
MM
“The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men, slaves, or bow to the Mahometan threat.”
-George Washington
Something Polish
Those who would openly pass judgement on a sitting President may as well be passing the same judgement on these United States. For the Land and the President are one.
–George Washington
Noah Brand
Everybody’s guessed
That baby can’t be blessed
Till she finally sees that she’s like all the rest
With her fog, her amphetamines, and her pearls
She takes just like a woman, yes, she does
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl.
–Toby Keith
Something Polish
“I have to deal with the fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth almost every day.”
–rather uncivil Nancy Pelosi speaking of Vice President Cheney
swiftyboots
Bubblegum Tate Says:
“George W. Bush’s noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.”
-Jebediah Springfield
and it enfriggins me.
photonaton
“I may not agree with liberals, but I will defend to the death their right to say it to their interrogators.”
— Voltaire
W is widely thought to have mangled a certain aphorism, but his version is rooted in something his role model once said:
“You can fool some of the people all of the time and you can fool all of the people some of the time but you can’t ….you can’t…you can’t get fooled again!”
— Abe Lincoln
“The National Government will preserve and defend those basic principles on which our nation has been built up. They regard Christianity as the foundation of our national morality and the
familytraditional family headed by one man and one woman as the basis of national life.”— adolph hitler
“The only problem with
southern baptistsliberals is they don’thold them underwaterboard them long enough.”— kinky friedman
Sorry to break the rules for the next one, but I could not figure out how to make this work as requested:
“They were careless people,
Tom and DaisyGeorge and Dick. They smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”— F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Great Gatsby”
swiftyboots
and it enfriggins me should read
and it enfriggins me
Jimmy Swaggert
ding7777
I don’t know anything that builds the will to win better than a pre-emptive war. – Richard Nixon.
swiftyboots
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.
Mark Foley aka Madame Swetchine
Bil
“I am a Uniter not a Divider”. Satan
“The doctors said that I couldn’t have children so I made a deal with one of God’s Angels, I think his Name was Lou C. Fur”. Barbara Bush
“Some of my best friends are Muslims”. Douglas Feith
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“The future belongs to those who prepare to screw it up today.”
-Dick Cheney, 1975
You’re not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t ignore reality. Right is wrong, if George Bush does it or says it.
-Malcolm X
Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.
-Dick Cheney
Sitting at the table doesn’t make you a diner, unless you eat some of what’s on that plate. Being here in America doesn’t make you an American. Being born here in America doesn’t make you an American.
-John Ashcroft
Time is on the side of the oppressor today, it’s against the oppressed. Truth is on the side of the oppressor today, it’s against the oppressed. You don’t need anything else.
-George Bush
Northman
As a matter of general principle, I believe there can be no doubt that criticism in time of war is traitorous to the maintenance of any kind of democratic government … too many people desire to support criticism simply because they think that it will give some comfort to the enemy to know that there is such criticism. If that comfort makes the enemy feel better for a few moments, then they are emboldened by it as far as I am concerned, because the maintenance of the right of criticism in the long run will do the country maintaining it a great deal more harm than it will do the enemy, and will cause attacks which might otherwise not occur.
Robert A. Taft – December 19, 1941
Sal
As Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, whether by sword or fire.”
MaryS-NJ
“Force is all-conquering, and its results always justified.” – Neocon Mission Statement
“Always bear in mind that my own resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing.” – G. W. Bush
“Those who would not give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve to be hanged as traitors.” – Ann Coulter
Irv
“Senator Kennedy: TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!”
— PResident Ronald Reagan
Irv
“There’s Bill Kristol — major league asshole — from the Weekley Standard.” — George W. Bush
“Yeah, big time.” — Dick Cheney.
Irv
“There’s Bill Kristol—major league asshole—from the Weekly Standard.”—George W. Bush
“Yeah, big time.”—Dick Cheney.
Zombie Santa Claus
“If the President does it, it can’t be illegal.”
-John F. Kennedy
“You squish a cat and you go on. I think we’re overcomplicating life.”
-John Wayne
“I can hardly wait to sit in Old Sparky. I’m curious about it. I think it’s spiffy.”
-Every Liberal in America Today
EL
Winston Churchill:
“When all was over, torture and cannibalism were the only two expedients that the civilized, scientific, Christian States had been able to
denyavail themselves of: and these wereof doubtful utilitypopular.”On a letter to the government of Finland, which was allied to Nazi Germany: “When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to
be politestomp the hell out of him first.”“When you are
winninglosing a war almost everything that happens can be claimed to be right and wise.” And if anyone disagrees, they should be shot as a traitor.ding7777
It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor – as long as you’ve got money. Joe E Lewis George W Bush
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“A popular government with popular knowledge, or the means of acquiring it, is but a prelude to a farce or a tragedy, or perhaps both. Knowledge will never govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must disarm themselves of the power which knowledge gives.”
-James Madison
The Sanity Inspector
Here’s a quotation, misrepresented by capitalizing only one letter:
“If there be any among us who would wish to dissolve this Union or to change its Republican form, let them stand undisturbed, as monuments to the safety with which error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it.” Thomas Jefferson
Zoo Inmate
“Prevent the President from invading a neighboring nation, even when he finds it necessary to pre-empt an invasion, and you prevent him from doing so even when the Almighty has revealed to him that it is necessary for this purpose — and then you prevent him from making war for the pleasure of all. Study to see if he can otherwise prevent encroachments on his rights in this respect, after you have taken from him so much as you propose. If, to-day, he learns it is necessary to invade Canada, to prevent the British from invading us, how could anyone aid him? You may say to him, ‘Only traitors see no probability of the British invading us’ but he could then only say to you ‘be silent; I see the treason of the liberals in Congress, if you don’t.’
The provision of the Constitution removing the war-making power from Congress was dictated, as I understand it (after reading John Yoo’s book), by the following reasons: Kings had always been involving and enriching their people in wars, modestly pretending generally, if not always, that their own aggrandizement was the object. This, our Convention understood to be the most benign of all Kingly blessings; and they resolved to so frame the Constitution that no foolish mob should hold the power of keeping this blessing from us. But your view destroys the whole matter, and removes our President from where unitary executives, once called kings, have always stood.”
Abraham Lincoln, Feb. 15, 1848, A letter to William Herndon. (Cf. Yoo’s book referred to above, future Chief Justice Yoo really deserves the prize.)
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
“Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Gettin voted into the White House
Everything lookin good to the people of the world
But the Mafia family is my boss
So every now and then I owe a favor gettin’ down
like lettin’ a big drug shipment through
And send ’em to the poor community
So we can bust you know who
So voters of the world keep supportin’ me
And I promise to take you very far
Other leaders better not upset me
Or I’ll send a million troops to die at war
To all you Republicans, that helped me win
I sincerely like to thank you
Cuz now I got the world swingin’ from my nuts
And damn it feels good to be a gangsta”
-George Washington
Zombie Santa Claus
For some reason, I really like this one, from some commenter named Greensooner over at the Poorman blog:
I don’t know why, but every time I read it I start thinking about how long it would probably take R.E. Lee to figure out what that message means if Sherman actually HAD sent it, and I bust out laughing. I imagine it would take Lee a full day just to figure out that “UR” meant “your”, and God knows how long after that to realize what “DOODZ” referred to. Shit, in this context even I’m not sure.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Should any American soldier be so base and infamous as to fail to torture any [prisoner] … I do most earnestly enjoin you to bring him to such severe and exemplary punishment as the enormity of the crime may require. Should it extend to death itself, it will not be disproportional to its guilt at such a time and in such a cause… for by such conduct they bring shame, disgrace and ruin to themselves and their country,” – George Washington, charge to the Northern Expeditionary Force, Sept. 14, 1775.
RicK
The British are leaving! The British are leaving! – Paul Revere (on Tony ‘Lapdog’ Blairs decision yesterday.