Others prefer to think of Jesus as Bush:
Over the course of the next two years I think many of these Republicans will regret their decision of support for this Democrat resolution as they realize the extent of its impact. Their careers most likely will end in the same undignified manner as Judas ended his own life. Speaking for myself I can say this without hesitation, there are now seventeen pieces of silver in our party historically represented by red, and I promise you I shall not be colorblind in 08.
Watch out, Judas! Boobookitty is gonna come at you in 2008 like a spider monkey!
Zifnab
“That’s right Republican’tvoteforthewaranymoreturncoatbastards, I’ll see you all in hell.
…
…
From heaven.”
dslak
You know, it used to be snide to say that modern neo- and theocons thought that Bush was Jesus. Is there any snide, sarcastic, ironic yet otherwise astute observation that will not eventually be borne out as literally correct?
It’s getting so that “Irony is dead” is no longer ironic.
yet another jeff
Is there nothing we can mock about the Uppercase “C” Conservatives that won’t appear prophetic later? Goddamn…
Pb
D’oh, not again. Insert obligatory comment about how RedState posters are being shallow, ignorant hypocrites. Start popcorn. Include link. etc.
zzyzx
Will Red State ever understand the difference between an employee and management? We’ve all had the experience of working hard on a project only to have the management decide that our work would be more productive elsewhere. It’s not that they don’t support me or didn’t think I was doing a good job, it’s that big picture of running the company meant that I should be working on something else.
Zifnab
I mean, if it makes you feel any better, not everyone compares Bush to Jesus. I mean, he’s a Christ-like figure, just not the one you usually look forward to.
Zombie Santa Claus
This clinches it for me. Sooner or later, the Redstate-style neocon conservatives will come out in favor of new alliances with AQ. I know it sounds fucking insane, but so are they. Just a matter of time; 5 years, maybe 10. Maybe less.
When do we vote on the quote contest, John? Personally, I nominate Redstate’s entire post.
dslak
Looking at Pb’s link, I have to say that I’m surprised at just how consistent Pat Buchanan is in blaming US intervention for everything that’s wrong with the world.
Jay C
Ooooh, scary awful! All those Republican politicians had better watch out! Despite their name recognition, years of public service, political connections, and no-doubt-well-financed campaigns, they’re gonna be DOOMED! Because *gasp* RedState is going to say nasty things about them!
That’s it: Game Over!: they all should just resign and retire right now; ‘cuz you know, when you’ve lost RedState, you’ve lost – well, maybe two dozen votes right there!
Tsulagi
BooBooKitty? You just know you should be racked with fear when you’re on the shit list of God’s self-designated vessel on Earth, someone named BooBooKitty.
Zombie Santa Claus
You’re not counting the spoofs. That’s at least another dozen or so, all of them the same 3 or 4 people.
Zombie Santa Claus
There goes the cat-lover voting bloc.
Jake
So to ride the dumbass analogy express all the way to the bottom of the cliff, does this mean Bush will wind up being crucified? By historians perhaps?
Right, silly question really.
Handles like “BooBookKitty” make me think of furries. Gah.
zzyzx
More like there goes the fundamentalist Jay and Silent Bob fan joke if I guessed the origin correctly. That has to be at least 5 or 6 people.
zzyzx
urgh, I don’t know what the word “joke” was doing in my above post when I meant “bloc…”
Blue Neponset
Redstate is one diary closer to being permanently irrelevant.
Zifnab
Does that make the Democrats the Jews or the Romans? Also, what does it say about the future state of Isreal? And if someone finally does put Kid Bush out of our misery, does that mean he’ll just be back again in three days?
Zombie Santa Claus
Pharisaic critics like Sy Hersh, Glenn Greenwald, Zuniga Markos Moulitsas, David Bowie (as Pontius Pilate in a brilliant cameo), and ThymeZone will crucify Bush at the polls, but on the third subsequent electoral cycle his reputation shall rise from the grave and ascend to Heaven. His followers will spread the gospel of pre-emptive military force throughout the world, although in practice it will often be misapplied. Centuries from now, sectarians will pre-emptively attack one another over trifling disagreements involving minute differences in interpretation of the Bush doctrine.
That’s my prediction, anyway.
Tsulagi
Vengeance is mine sayeth the BooBooKitty. Lord, please bless the ammunition so that we may wreak the Wrath of BooBooKitty in your name.
LOL. If the party of Bush ever regains from its retardation, one thing I would miss would be the comedy.
Zombie Santa Claus
They’ve always had that, but for a while there it was confined to the state/local level. You’ll always be able to look for it down there, even if the national party regains some semblance of rationality.
teak111
Wow, last time I checked my new testiment, Jesus wasn’t starting wars on false pretenses, he was helping the poor and struggling. The Right grows increasingly desperate while the middle gains credibility with stuff like this. But must of all, the soft self-righiousness of the folks at RS is, in the end, sad. It signals a final detachment from mainstream political discussion and a confirmation of what we suspected all along. Its like when a freind or collegue begins to prostalitize, well you know its over. Goodbye.
Mary
I think this needs a “batshit” tag.
Jon H
“You know, it used to be snide to say that modern neo- and theocons thought that Bush was Jesus. Is there any snide, sarcastic, ironic yet otherwise astute observation that will not eventually be borne out as literally correct?”
It’s only a matter of time before they start wearing beards and attempting the destruction of ‘blasphemous’ Mount Rushmore, thus fulfilling the snarky charaterization of being the Christian Taliban.
“So to ride the dumbass analogy express all the way to the bottom of the cliff, does this mean Bush will wind up being crucified? By historians perhaps?”
Just so long as he goes the fuck away afterward.
Zombie Santa Claus
If memory serves, Jesus did say something like, “I come not to bring you peace, but to bring you the sword.” That line also implies that He brought the bunker buster, the depleted uranium ammunition, and the C-130 Hercules, among His many other miracles.
Jesus was a Divider, not a Uniter. He split families, then His servant Bush reunited them while killing hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians in the process. For which He (Dubya, that is) was rewarded with electoral crucifixion.
Zombie Santa Claus
He’ll be waiting for you all in Heaven- with a gun.
cleek
does that mean he’ll just be back again in three days?
yeah, but he’ll be gone again a few days later: and more powerful than ever – like ObiWan, but stupid.
cleek
For which He (Dubya, that is) was rewarded with electoral crucifixion.
i read that as “electrical crucifixion”. that’d be wild.
Punchy
For some reason, when you say “Jesus” and “Bush” in the same sentence, I think “Mary Magdalene”…
The Other Steve
We really need a government which is founded upon the foundational arguments of Hello Kitty.
Zombie Santa Claus
I’m sure if the Romans had had modern science behind them, they’d have tried it.
Well, isn’t that sort of like Mary Matalin, if she ran off with Clinton? (Then again, she DID marry Carville, so that’s kind of the same thing…)
That’s definitely what Plato was gunning for in “The Republic.” Some dead Greek dudes are with you on this one, TOS.
RSA
With His worshippers pointing to His brush-clearing experience as the deciding factor in Bush’s ability to move the stone from the opening to His tomb.
On Republicans as Judases, I’ve always (okay, probably only after reading Kazantzakis) thought of him as a sympathetic character. I mean, where would Christianity be today if no one had betrayed Jesus, and he’d died at 60 in a typhoid epidemic or something? Sometimes committing suicide is the honorable thing to do after having made a horrendous mistake. Hmm, I wonder if that scenario applies to any other political figures?
Krista
Can I just say that this thread title really made my day?
Wilfred
Great, funny image. Someitmes I think that half the people over at RS must be trolls involved in a ‘can you top this’ rhetoric contest.
Richard 23
Laugh all you want, leftists; attack the messenger and not the sensible content of the message. I don’t think BooBooKitty is its real name (although I could be wrong).
Off topic alert:
Jake
The Abu Gharib treatment might be a fitting end for G. Agnus Dei Bush.
CaseyL
Actually, John, the guy in the white suit doing the interpretive dance was Judas – in Jesus Christ, Superstar. He had do-wah chorus girls, too.
BW is also headlining a speech by a Georgian congressnut equating global warming with eugenics.
For some strange reason, they’re not also headlining the memo from that other Georgian congressnut that
creditsblames ancient Jewish scholars for discovering evolution, Big Bang cosmology, and basic orbital mechanics.RandyH
These people are nuts and many are reading that crazy drivel as a message from god becasue it sounds like it is coming from someone learned, even though these followers have very little understanding of the religion they profess to be the Ultimate Truth. It is truly scary to read this shit. Every society has their share of authoritarian nuts, in the case of the US, they are about 25-30% of the population, not a majority. But our authoritarian nuts have taken over a political party and are allowing that party to win some victories, so the rest of that party has gone along with their crazy allies. They call themselves conservatives but their leadership is anything but conservative. John Dean called their leaders Conservatives Without Conscience but it’s their army of authoritarian followers that enables these leaders. This pseudo-religious sounding propaganda shit works with these followers if it is not exposed to be nonsense, whish is hard to do because these people trust their leaders implicitly.
The other 70-75% of America needs to educate themselves about how these people tick and put them back in the minority again. After Hitler and Mussolini succeeded in Germany and Italy, there has been a fair amount of study done on how this can happen in a free democratic society. I fear we’re just a few elections away from the same fate, if we’re not already there.
jenniebee
Is Richard 23 a parody, a wingnut, some guy who’s gone off his meds, or all of the above? I can’t tell. At least with Darrell, you can tell.
Jay C
Uhh, Dick: we certainly would deal with the “sensible content” of this, or any other RedState post – if there were any: as it is, what we have is over-wrought partisan drivel raggedly wrapped in cheapjack religious imagery: mockery is really all this claptrap deserves.
Actually (somewhat disappointingly) I think you are right. Thank you for this insight.
Tsulagi
Hmmm…not seeing this post title in BooBooKitty’s rant anywhere in his post, I Googled the “I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life.” quote. Maybe it’s a well-known quote, but I’m not familiar with it. Sorry, Jesus.
Anyway, the only place the quote stood out in the Google hits was number sixth going to a MySpace profile. A 24 year-old female in San Diego. If that’s you, BooBooKitty, not bad. You may be batshit loony, but you look like you’d be a fun date.
Oh, and if the MTV gig doesn’t happen, good luck in your goal of becoming a gun carrying nice-not-mean crack dealer. Say hello to Haggard for us.
The Other Andrew
If, by some glorious miracle, reality-based moderates ever gain control of the Republican party (it’ll probably be due to electoral reality, rather than any sudden epiphany), the RS folks are going to be even more fun to watch.
Granted, I doubt this will be the last vote they’re angry about. I’m picturing early 2008–as the media slowly realizes that the surge didn’t work, the “run towards Bush and the theocons” plan has been replaced by “run away from Bush and the theocons” plan, and it’ll surely show up in the Congressional votes.
We’ll probably have a muddled, flip-flopping Republican candidate in 2008, as he’ll be trying to appeal to a number of mutually-exclusive demographics, even within his own party. Immigration alone will require huge amounts of parsing, if he’s not to lose the xenophobes or Wall Street.
demimondian
jenniebee, the joy of BJuice is that you don’t get to know. As a general rule, though, when a poster *here* starts sounding like he or she off his or her meds, the odds are very good that it’s spoof.
Richard 23
jenniebee, yes, it’s obvious that Darrell is a spoof. the left seems to enjoy arguing with carcicatures of conservatives. it makes them feel superior somehow.
demimondian
Good catch, CaseyL — I had forgotten Judas’ suicide scene in the movie version of _John Cole, Superstar_. Great title, too, John.
Richard 23
Actually, here is a picture of Boo Boo Kitty.
cd6
Awesome, just awesome.
Ted
Richard 23 is a genuine wingnut, and comedy writer for the Half Hour News Hour
demimondian
TOA — do you really believe it’ll be early ’08 when the media narrative starts being “the surge didn’t work”? I’m already seeing a lot of “lots of people died in Baghdad despite the surge” stories.
tBone
Yes, the Leftists like to pretend that they’re so ‘honest’ and ‘reality-based’ in their little circle-jerk echo chambers, but many/most Americans know just how dishonest to the core and out there they really are.
Andrew
This may be true. However, he is not necessarily aware of these facts.
Ted
Silly you. When there’s good news from Iraq, the surge is working. When there’s bad news from Iraq, the surge hasn’t really arrived yet.
Andrew
Well moonbat, what do you expect after Pelosi emboldened the terrorists?
DougJ
I thought Judas was beheaded by mullahs.
tBone
If there aren’t ponies in Iraq, how do you leftards explain all of the whinnying coming from the glue factories there? Huh, moonbats?
ThymeZone
You put me in with those fellers?
Wow. Can you also include Duke Ellington? Ko-Ko is the most phenomenal piece of big band music I ever heard, and I would really like to be associated with that.
Thanks in advance, your pal,
Herb.
Ted
Oh my. There’s a danger that if we all do this at once people will think this is Free Republic.
DougJ
POTD
demimondian
Their careers’ bellies will split open, spilling their innards on the ground? I’ve heard of pork-barrel politics, sure, but never of pork-belly politics…
Krista
But at least we’re attractively lithe and nimble. We have to be, in order to climb up on rooftops to shout out our unhinged rantings.
demimondian
No, no, no. Get it right, will you? All you need to do is take the attic door off, and yell through the open space. The door taken off? That’s the “unhinged” part.
Richard 23
You wackjobs can actually be pretty funny sometimes! :-)
Ted
As evidenced by the entire network of Comedy Central, with the exception of that joke-stealing fraud Mencia Holness.
tBone
Lots of rooftops have stairway access, no litheness or nimbleness required. How ‘honest’ of you to pretend otherwise.
Andrew
Really? I know you’re out of touch with American, moonbat, so you should go to the midwest sometime. I miss hearing the Chicago Merc pork belly pricing report.
Krista
No, we’re supposed to be shouting “from the rooftops”, which indicates that we would be physically located on the rooftop, not in the attic.
Lazyarse. What kind of moonbat are you, anyway?
Ted
None of us have jobs. We’re all on welfare, and supported by the wingnuts.
Jake
Have a face full of truth lying lefty moonbat!
srv
Did anyone notice this wonderful new PJM blog?
Faster, Please!
DougJ, ppGaz, please wander over and comment.
Richard 23
No Comedy Central on my socialist cable outlet either, Ted. Maybe Southpark is too dangerous. But they also don’t carry MSNBC, so I guess that’s a good thing. It’s an Olberman-free zone.
I need to check: do I have any cable channels from my cable outlet?
Ted
Ted
Huh. The strike-throughs show up in the preview, but not in the post. Don’t know you people are doing it.
Ted
South Park is a national treasure. But they do have their occasional hypocrisies. For example, mocking the hell out of Scientology, and then mocking the hell out of Richard Dawkins for mocking all religion.
tBone
You have to retag the striked portions if you copy and paste.
demimondian
That depends on what meaning of “from the rooftops” you want to shout from the rooftops.
As far as i can tell, there’s no part of the specification which states that we must be doing the shouting while standing on the rooftops. Instead, the shouting must happen in such a way that the sound comes from the rooftops. It seems to me that would mean using the roofing material itself as a giant loudspeaker, perhaps by electrostriction, or some such.
Punchy
Pretty sure Dick Numbers is one of us…spoofing his way into Moderate Centricalism.
Uh Oh. Bush = Abe Lincoln??? No no no! Sorry…try Bush=George Washington
Ted
Thanks for the info. Anyway, I was trying to accuse Nancy Pelosi of beheading Jesus.
Zifnab
They give Al Gore alot of hell, and they like to mock Global Warming in particular. I’m really not sure what to make of all that except that I can’t agree with them all the time about everything, so I’ll just sit back and enjoy the show.
I think they just like to go after whatever is looking particularly famous. The two guys are even quoted as saying, “If there’s anything we hate more than conservatives, its liberals”.
ThymeZone
Ledeen gives me a headache.
demimondian
Only the text *as displayed in the browser* gets copied. To *bold* something, retag it surrounded by asterisks * bold * w/out the spaces, to strike it out, use dashes, to italicize it, use underscores. I think that equals signs probably double strike things: =double stricken= ?
tBone
I think that goes without saying. Duh.
Jake
Such is the joy of South Park. All sacred cows are slaughtered without mercy. If no sacred cows are available, Parker & Stone create one.
“That’s not smog, that’s smug!”
Ted
Indeed. But even when I completely disagree with a subtle political message they’re making, I can’t stop laughing. Did they mock the global warming problem with the hybrid car episode? Sure. But did I find their renaming the Honda Prius the “Pious” absolutely hilarious? For some reason, yes.
DougJ
Shit, I can’t get to Leeden’s blog. I’ll try again later.
The Other Steve
South Park just likes to mock people. They don’t really care who, they just hit everybody where they are trying to be most serious.
demimondian
When I got my new car, I found that the vanity plate “Toyonda” was already taken.
Punchy
Reading this thread, and this comment in particular, Mr. Cole must be proud that his entire blog has now become a cesspool of halarious spoof. Job well done.
I can see Jesus in a three-way with Pelosi and Rosie O’Donnell, and a supply of batteries and Kleenex to outfit an army. That reminds me….lunchtime!
cleek
Did anyone notice this wonderful new PJM blog?
holy fuck. now that guy’s unhinged.
Krista
When he looks at the comments over at RedState, I’m sure he’s doubly grateful for all of his commenters…even those who are a bit of a thorn in his side.
The Other Steve
I am launching my new campaign.
Hillary Clinton for Secretary of War!
J. Michael Neal
If memory serves, Jesus did say something like, “I come not to bring you peace, but to bring you the sword.” That line also implies that He brought the bunker buster, the depleted uranium ammunition, and the C-130 Hercules, among His many other miracles.
These are probably the people that actually bought into The Matrix as a Christ parable.
“Guns. We need more guns.”
– Jesus
The Other Steve
Don’t pay any attention to Krista. She’s a mysogynist who hates America as much as she hates women, troops and Jesus.
Rusty Shackleford
My favorite:
“Kill ’em all and let My Father sort them out.”
— Jesus H. Christ
tBone
I hear Hillary ‘Kratos’ Clinton is a playable character in God of War 2.
Jake
If Keanu Reeves is Jesus heaven must be bloody boring and the heavenly host has all of the emotional range of a deck chair. But then I hate Reeves as much as Krista hates women, soldiers, children and baby ducklings.
Krista
Edited for accuracy.
Ted
George Washington hated America too. Don Young said it was in Washington’s memoirs.
Pb
If South Park has any ‘political bias’, it’s libertarian–or perhaps Glibertarian–and therefore, anti-authoritarian and/or pro-capitalist, which doesn’t necessarily mesh–go figure.
ThymeZone
Actually, it’s RatingfriendlyContrarian.
Richard 23
As far a Keanu Reeves is concerned, he was actually pretty good in A Scanner Darkly. But then it was an adaptation of the excellent Philip K Dick novel. So maybe I’m biased. I wouldn’t have chosen Reeves myself, but the rest of the cast is really good.
Since nobody wants to admit to watching the Fox News version of The Daily Show, I went technoratiing for reactions. I found this site: Half-Hour News Hour Aid. It’s pretty funny. The 23 1/2 post where Jack Bauer interrogates a writer for the show is a decent parody.
Jon H
Zombie writes:”If memory serves, Jesus did say something like, “I come not to bring you peace, but to bring you the sword.” That line also implies that He brought the bunker buster, the depleted uranium ammunition, and the C-130 Hercules, among His many other miracles.”
I recall reading an op/ed in the New York times (I think) where the author actually argued that Jesus chasing money changers out of the Temple means it’s okay to use violence.
Somehow I don’t think the moneychangers were turned into exsanguinated metabolically-challenged giblets.
Jon H
“Anyway, I was trying to accuse Nancy Pelosi of beheading Jesus.”
with her thighs.
You are now freaking out.
Ted
Mmmmm. Famke Janssen.
demimondian
I’m suddenly thinking of the Balloon Juice version of the fortune cookie game:
_in bed_.
_in bed_.
Hmmm…
Jake
Only because Jesus lacked the technology and funding. If he’d had a grenade launcher he would have used that baby. Instead he had to make due with a knotted rope. This is why we should give all of our money…er…tithe freely to the local branch of Flocks “R” Us. So Jesus can have the proper armaments when He comes back.
Jake
_in bed_
_in bed_
demandingmondian.
Punchy
Hands down…not even close…the BEST thing I’ve read all day. I may laugh at this for another 15 minutes….
Perry Como
BooBooKitty is watching you masturbate.
Face
.
Actually, BooBooKitty sounds like something I’d be watching/paying for while solo sexing…
Punchy
OT Alert:
Did you guys know this? From this article, here’s the shocker:
Really? Is this true? They can ignore ANY law? So…is this their wiretapping loophole?
Earth's Inner Child
Crucifixion, please.
pharniel
Perry Como Says:
Am I getting hits on my webcam advertising agent for that?
Because if so it and i should do a team up, maybe get alittle ‘who can go longer’ action going.
what? Pappa needs a new xbox 360 for halo 3 baby.
Pinacacci
Dang y’all,
the Ice-dancing Jesus is from Talladega Nights, one of the funniest movies nobody’s ever seen.
Seriously, way funnier than you think.
Bubblegum Tate
You and me both, Krista. That whole scene is hilarious, and I even rented the DVD just to see if there were any outtakes from that scene. There were, and they were great. John C. Reilly is the man.
tBone
This brings a whole disturbing new dimension to that old truism, “God kills a kitten each time you masturbate.”
Krista
That’s okay, because evidently, so are Jesus, God and Santa Claus.
Zifnab
So all the pedophilia spilling out of the DHS was actually in defense of the homeland. It all makes perfect sense now. We’ll molest them over here so they don’t get molested over there.
The Easter Bunny
Damn it! What I do in the privacy of my own warren is my business, you fat, undead bastard.
Bruce Moomaw
Ordinarily I wouldn’t give a damn about the views of someone calling themselves “boobookitty” — except that I’ve heard that Bush-as-Jesus-and-his-enemies-as-Judas line before from more prominent Christian Rightists. After David Kuo came out with the news that the White House was (gasp!) not entirely sincere in its support for “faith-based initiatives”, the Washington Post ran a piece last October on the reaction of prominent Christian Rightists to him, in which — sure enough — comparisons of Bush to Jesus and Kuo to Judas turned up.
It really is a shame that we can’t arrange for the world’s religious lunatics to simply exterminate each other and leave the rest of us alone.
ThymeZone
That’s pretty assertive for an animal that drops shit raisins involuntarily 24 hours a day.
The Easter Bunny
What did you think was in those “special” Easter baskets I always left for you when you were a kid? Yeah, I remember you, punk.
ThymeZone
I guess that gives “Sun Maid” a whole new meaning, pellet boy.
whatsleft
ooooooh nooooo
whatsleft
(frantically tries to scrub dusty taste of Easter Raisinet memories from tongue)
*Preview is my friend
Jon H
“BooBooKitty is watching you, masturbating.”
Fixed.
Jon H
“I guess that gives “Sun Maid” a whole new meaning, pellet boy.”
Hell, the actual way they make golden raisins isn’t terribly appetizing either.
Punchy
Nice. God bless the comma.
And John McCain.
Richard 23
Don’t you dare!
Zifnab
I just assumed it refered to a particularly well-tanned agriculture wench.
Earth's Inner Child
For some reason, this made me think of those one-worded t-shirts that people wear — the ones that read “dork” or “slut” or some other self-depricating nonsense — and that I have yet to see one that reads “liar”.
Richard 23
Wow, what a great President to have on President’s Day!
Bush compares Revolutionary, terror wars:
No kidding. It’s funny, Americans understand instinctively that the war on terror is similar to America’s own revolutionary war. But where the left and right differ are which side they support.
The Michael Moore wing of the Democrat party (redundant, obviously) has already called the terrorists “freedom fighters.” Good Americans know better. Those fighting for the spread of freedom and liberty are our brave troops. Let freedom reign!
Hat tip: Blogs for Bush.
ThymeZone
Yes, and right here on these pages our own Tall Dave once argued that Iraq was like revolutionary America.
I shit you not, Dick Two-Three.
Richard 23
OMG, this is so funny!
What a great man!
Jake
The White House has no comment on rumors that the walls wept blood and a strange voice repeatedly snarled “Get. Out.” during the President’s visit.
Punchy
Ah….McCain….Johnny Boy….
Nov. 2006:
Today:
Can this guy be consistent on ANYTHING? Seriously, is there anything this guy won’t flip-flop on?
Krista
I ate Raisin Bran this morning. I now feel very unclean.
Ted
The Pat Robertson wing of the Republic party thinks gays and lesbians are to blame for 9/11/01. Of course, that’s redundant, obviously.
Jon H
R23: “Don’t you dare!” [re: golden raisins]
I’ll just say it involves soaking them in lye then subjecting them to sulfurous fumes.
Richard 23
Waaaahhhh! Now don’t tell me how sausage is made or what’s in liverwurst. And don’t even mention headcheese. This time I mean it!
ThymeZone
Richard, just let me say, your new persona is a hit.
Congrats. Fine job.
AkaDad
Unhinged liberals like Krista are why we need to nuke Canada so she has no rooftop to rant from.
Krista
If you’re advocating nuking me anyway, I might as well do something to earn it…in for a penny, in for a pound, and all that.
AkaDad
LOL
When I’m President you will regret that. =]
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
It’s true! He IS the Messiah! This proves it!
“Verily, I say unto you, before George Washington was, I AM.”
jake
You would have liked my grandmother. She worked for the US Dept. of Agriculture. I’ll just say eating hot dogs, hamburgers, sausage etc. in front of that woman was a test of one’s intestinal fortitude.
Send me $50,000 in unmarked bills or I’ll tell you all about it.
Andrew
I don’t know how y’all expect to build up any resistance to mad cow disease if you’re not willing to eat some of the more ridiculous animal bits.
demimondian
This is the kind of arrant pedantry -up with which I shall not put- down with which I, like, totally am.
Otto Man
Dear Lord, that is some incredibly powerful insanity over there.
Wow. I mean, wow.
The Other Steve
Another sad statistic is played out.
Rural America bear scars from Iraq war
SPIIDERWEB™
Its not impossible Judas Iscariot did Jesus’ bidding.
During the 1970s, a Coptic papyrus [4] was discovered near Beni Masah, Egypt. This has been translated and appears to be a text from the 2nd century A.D. describing the story of Jesus’s death from the viewpoint of Judas. The conclusion of the text refers (in Coptic) to the text as “the Gospel of Judas” (Euangelion Ioudas).
According to a 2006 translation of the manuscript of the text, it is apparently a Gnostic account of an arrangement between Jesus and Judas, who in this telling are Gnostically enlightened beings, with Jesus asking Judas to turn him in to the Romans to help Jesus finish his appointed task from God.
Zifnab
I was waiting for someone to mention this, but I couldn’t find a good way to roll it into a Bush joke.
Perry Como
DoughBob LoadPants and the Washington Post – A one act play
Dana Priest: The conditions at Walter Reed hospital are deplorable.
DoughBob LoadPants: Unlike me, Dana Priest has an agenda. We should have Geraldo look into this. Anyone know where I put my Cheetos?
Gleen Greenwald: DoughBob is a hack.
DoughBob LoadPants: I just got an email from someone I ran into once when I was selling Linda Tripp tapes on EBay. The emailer said that the people in Walter Reed are whiners. I concur. btw, still looking my for Cheetos.
Dana Priest: “Walter Reed Army Medical Center began repairs yesterday on Building 18, a former hotel that is used to house outpatients recuperating from injuries suffered in Iraq and Afghanistan and that has been plagued with mold, leaky plumbing and a broken elevator.
The facility’s commander, Maj. Gen. George W. Weightman, said Army staff members inspected each of the 54 rooms at the building and discovered that outstanding repair orders for half the rooms had not been completed. He said that mold removal had begun on several rooms and that holes in ceilings, stained carpets and leaking faucets were being fixed.”
DoughBob LoadPants: Seriously guys. I have no idea where my Cheetos are. This is a major problem. A reader just sent me a copy of the 1/2 Hour News Hour and I need to watch it before my bedtime. Where the hell are my Cheetos!?!?
Michael Ledeen: Hey guys, does anyone know Ahmadinejad’s number? I have some great IEDs to sell him. Fresh off the press from Iraq. My buddy Ghorbanifar can get a bulk deal on them.
DoughBob LoadPants: [glaring at Michael Ledeen] HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHEETOS!?
Michael Ledeen: [points to KLo]
Dana Priest: …
[curtain]
Zifnab
*applause*
Andrew
City of God is a fucking incredible movie.
Punchy
Wow…Jesus had some issues…
Richard 23
I’m not sure who DoughBob LoadPants is, but s/he sure does like Cheetos! LOL.
Here an excerpt from 23 1/2 (more at the link):
and it goes on from there…
Chuck Butcher
Not to pick nits, but I thought the moonbats were in the belfry and crazy Aunt Alice was in the attic? Being a roofer, among other nail bending endeavors, I have shouted from a roof top, but I’m not nearly schizoid enough to manage plural tops.
made my day
Richard 23
Good news! The America Show is back with Episode 4: “Jesus and Mordy.”
Find past and future episodes at the aptly named “TalentGoldmine.”
Perry Como
The America Show did for comedy what Kevin Federline did for music.
bago
The Redcoats are coming! Blackwater is coming!
Richard 23
Yeah, Perry! K-Fed rulz!
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
On the surface, it looked as if Bush’s trusted acolyte Rove betrayed him by allowing the Pharisees to win Congressional control in 2006. But in reality, such a step was necessary, for if the Democrats couldn’t crucify Bush for their sins, Bush couldn’t sacrifice His reputation and resurrect it on the third electoral cycle that the glorious gospel of pre-emptive warfare might illuminate the world and embolden the democratic instincts of humanity.
So, although Rove has betrayed Bush for 17 Republicans with hearts of tarnished silver, without Rove’s treason the Bush Doctrine would cleave unto the dust and perish.
jake
Uh, Jesus asked Judas to bushwhack him?
Sorry.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
OT but here’s a book I think we should all get ahold of.
Toys are the Communist’s means of teaching kids to embrace Satan, you know.
jake
Someone get Ted sHaggard’s Supreme Heterosexual Integration Team on the phone!
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
It makes you think, doesn’t it: how many future homosexuals has the He-Man toy created?
I’ve got to admit, Phillips also makes a good point here:
He-Man is the origin of Wiccanism AND homosexuality. If only people had had the prescience to nip it in the bud in the early 80s, America might still be on the path of righteousness. IOW, no 9/11 attacks and no Hurricane Katrina; God would’ve averted them, or inflicted them on a more sinful people instead. The Dutch, perhaps, or the Kazakhstanis.
Richard 23
I’m glad I skipped over the gay-inducing He-Man cartoon show. I was too busy watching wholesome My Little Pony and Care Bears.
Oh and tentacle rape hentai porn.
Zifnab
I had action figure Moses and Joshua toys who fought Superman and Spiderman to the death on the top of my dresser.
Also, funny story, neither Moses nor Joshua had wing-wongs. I’ve got a wing-wong. Does that mean I’m not being like my Biblical idols? Well… only one way to fix that. Where’s mommy’s steak knife?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Those are almost as bad, friend. The Evil One is devious, and operates on layers within layers of deceit.
Well, at least you didn’t grow up gay.
“I kick ass for the Lord!”
“And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
“And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”
-Matthew 5:29-30
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Fucking blasphemous slash-line. It’s Matthew, Chapter 5, verses 29 and 30.
Praise the Lord and pass the Ammunition.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I just found this out about He-Man:
If this is true, then that RINO Ah-nuld is really in league with Satan!