Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

I am pretty sure these ‘journalists’ were not always such a bootlicking sycophants.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

Authoritarian republicans are opposed to freedom for the rest of us.

All hail the time of the bunny!

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

I really should read my own blog.

Accountability, motherfuckers.

Disagreements are healthy; personal attacks are not.

We cannot abandon the truth and remain a free nation.

This country desperately needs a functioning fourth estate.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

Shallow, uninformed, and lacking identity

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

They were going to turn on one another at some point. It was inevitable.

If ‘weird’ was the finish line, they ran through the tape and kept running.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Giving in to doom is how authoritarians win.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

I swear, each month of 2025 will have its own history degree.

I’m starting to think Jesus may have made a mistake saving people with no questions asked.

Many life forms that would benefit from greater intelligence, sadly, do not have it.

The line between political reporting and fan fiction continues to blur.

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67Comments

  1. 1.

    Punchy

    Speling is ovrrated. Look, Ima blogar. “I will think them down…”? Lord.

    I’m sending you a dictionary. And a pillow stuffed with Ambien. Tough love, baby. Tough love.

  2. 2.

    Scruffy McSnufflepuss

    (To Surfin’ USA)

    If anybody had a conscience
    In the CIA
    Then everybody’d be perp walked
    Down to Gitmo Bay
    You’d see them wearing their leg chains
    Orange jumpsuits too
    Funky lookin’ shaved heads, boy
    Boardin’ Gitmo Bay

    You’d catch ‘em boardin’ in Kabul
    And on the Helmand line
    Philippines and Malta
    England’s Apennines
    All over Romainya
    And down the Appian Way

    Everybody’s gone boardin’
    Boardin’ USA

    (Cheesy Keyboards)

    We’d all be bowing towards Mecca
    Prayin’ to die real soon
    Saran wrappin’ our foreheads
    We can’t speak Pashtoon
    We’ll all be gone till the war ends
    We’re in isolation for good

    Tell our mothers we’re boardin’
    Boardin’ Gitmo Bay

  4. 4.

    Richard 23

    I think you moonbats who love conspiracy theories will love this. Somehow I missed this “controversy:”

    The 30 second TV advertisement, which deals with who should pay for prescription drugs for the elderly, contains the word “rats”.

    Alongside images of Vice-President Al Gore, the ad shows fragments of the slogan “Bureaucrats decide”. “RATS” is flashed for a split second, before the complete word “bureaucrats” appears.

    Psychologists suggest that such brief messages can be processed by the brain but at an unconscious or subliminal level.

    Mr Bush has denied that the words were planted intentionally as a subliminal message.

    I found about this “story” while reading a review of John Carpenter’s “They Live.”

  5. 5.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I know it’s not from this blog, but I really like this one:

    “IM IN UR BASE, KILLIN UR D00DZ!”

    – Gen. William T. Sherman in a letter to Gen. Robert E. Lee, 1864

    I liked other ones too, though. Like this one:

    “I found Baghdad a city of bricks and left it a city of rubble.” – C. Augustus.

    And this one:

    “Keep away your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
    I reject the wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
    These, the homeless, tempest-tost are nothing to me.
    I dim my lamp and close the door”
    Emma Lazurus, 1883

    And this one:

    “Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to doggedly maintain that stance when he knows he is in error. ”—Andrew Jackson

    Honestly, though, almost all of them are really awesome. We should have a contest like this once a month or so. It was a lot of fun.

  6. 6.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I found about this “story” while reading a review of John Carpenter’s “They Live.”

    The ending of that movie made me cry, it was so sad. A horrible alternate Universe where the Commies win.

  7. 7.

    Punchy

    I see some feddy court just upheld Bush’s law to deny foreigners held as “EC”s any access to US courts.

    Which begs this question–why the fuck would any foreigner want to come here, knowing that at any given moment, for any reason, Bush could declare you an EC, and you’d have no right to contest it? In effect, you’re likely jailed for life?

    Am I missing something, or does this not make him much like a King, able to decree who goes to the pokey and when, and not needing to show a shred of evidence for said detention?

  9. 9.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I just got to the other thread, here are some good ones from there:

    I don’t agree with what you say and will lynch your liberal ass for saying it. – Voltaire

    “The only thing we have is fear itself.”—FDR

    Our Father
    Who art in heaven
    Reagan be thy name

    Thy nation come
    wars will be done
    In Iraq as it is in Afghanistan

    Give Halliburton this day
    their daily “bread”
    And forgive us our Abu Ghraib
    As we forgive those damn friggin liberals

    And lead us not into diplomacy
    But deliver us to Iran
    Amen.

    “I want to be invisible. I do guerrilla warfare. I paint my face and travel at night. You don’t know it’s over until you’re in a body bag.” —Franklin Delano Roosevelt

    “Whenever I hear the word `liberal’, I reach for my revolver.”—Thomas Jefferson

    “There are many causes I would kill for. There is not a single cause I would die for.”—Gandhi

    “English, motherfucker. Do you speak English.”
    —Rep. Tom Tancredo

    “That which does not kill me means that it’s not torture.” – Nietzsche

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cheney R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”—Scooter Libby

    Fuck it, they’re all really good. Those are the ones that stood out to me on this reading, though.

  11. 11.

    Pb

    A few more…

    “In many cases presumptive evidence goes far to paint a person guilty, though there be no express proof of the fact to be committed by him, but then it must be very ruthlessly pressed, for it is better five innocent persons should die than one guilty person should escape unpunished.”
    Lord Hale, 1678

    “Git my gun; I’m surrounded by Jews and Haji faggots who don’t even speak English!”—Jesus

    In time of war, it is not only treason to object to the application of any instrument, including infliction of corporal suffering, in furtherance of the eventual triumph of liberty, but it is indeed the essence of liberty itself that these traitors, having shown themselves to be enemies of liberty, should themselves be made to suffer those measures of which they would deny us the use.
    Gen. George Washington

  15. 15.

    The Other Steve

    “Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to doggedly maintain that stance when he knows he is in error. ”—Andrew Jackson

    I still love this one.

  18. 18.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Hail Dubya, full of disgrace, blessed art thou among Virgos, blessed is the fruit of thy tomb, thine only son, Jihad. Holy Dubya, motherfucker of God, make us sinners pay now and forever, amen. (x10, plus with some other pseudo-Catholic incantations tossed in)

  19. 19.

    tBone

    “The only thing we have is fear itself.”—FDR

    This is probably my favorite. So short and simple, and yet it says it all.

    I’m with ZSC, though – there were a lot of great ones. Take a bow, you filthy moonbat traitors.

  20. 20.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I’m with ZSC, though – there were a lot of great ones. Take a bow, you filthy moonbat traitors.

    You’ll note that I refrained from nominating myself. (hint, hint)

    Seriously, though, my two favorites are the Cthulhu one and this one from the Poorman blog:

    “IM IN UR BASE, KILLIN UR D00DZ!”

    – Gen. William T. Sherman in a letter to Gen. Robert E. Lee, 1864

    I like those ones even better than the ones I did myself.

  21. 21.

    Rome Again

    My vote:

    “US Government bonds are worthless pieces of liberal paper. See, that’s why we want more people to buy them, and plan their future on them. It lets people keep more of their ownmoney in our pockets, where it belongs.”

    George Bush

    It’s the only time Bush will ever get my vote ;)

  22. 22.

    Gatchaman

    I found about this “story” while reading a review of John Carpenter’s “They Live.”

    One of THE GREAT movies that for whatever reason is never, ever on cable.

  25. 25.

    Rome Again

    He wins the WPE contest hands down.

    Well, that’s certainlly true, I stand corrected ZSC. Thanks for making me look like a farkin’ idiot!

  26. 26.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Well, that’s certainlly true, I stand corrected ZSC. Thanks for making me look like a farkin’ idiot!

    Sorry. I wasn’t trying to!

    I don’t know why I’m being such an asshole right now. It’s not intentional. WTF is wrong with me?

    I should say some more Hail Dubyas. I’ll mumble them to myself, and avoid troubling the rest of you.

  28. 28.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    I thought it was just a “KRAWEN” prankster game.

    I don’t remember the game, but I do know the code in which you speak.

    Probably, you and me are the only ones here who do.

  31. 31.

    Rome Again

    LMAO, TZ… it’s the name of the NHS yearbook!

    It was just code for “I know something you know”.

  33. 33.

    Punchy

    “IM IN UR BASE, KILLIN UR D00DZ!”

    – Gen. William T. Sherman in a letter to Gen. Robert E. Lee, 1864

    Wouldn’t this be infinitely more funny and snarky if it said “in a text message” instead of “in a letter”???

  35. 35.

    Andrew

    Wouldn’t this be infinitely more funny and snarky if it said “in a text message” instead of “in a letter”???

    No, it’s actually way more funny for teh intarweb speak to be used in an real hand written letter.

  36. 36.

    Krista

    I don’t know why I’m being such an asshole right now. It’s not intentional. WTF is wrong with me?

    You mean, besides the fact that you’re a zombie?

  38. 38.

    Krista

    “IM IN UR BASE, KILLIN UR D00DZ!”

    – Gen. William T. Sherman in a letter to Gen. Robert E. Lee, 1864

    Or, Gen. William T. Sherman to Gen. Robert E. Lee, in a note to pinned to the ass of a Confederate Soldier’s pants.

    That would have been kind of funny too.

  39. 39.

    Rome Again

    Apparently, Yellowjackets are in abundance here. Odd.

    Isn’t it? Well, I’m not technically a yellowjacket, I’m technically a CHS Viking, but my siblings were yellowjackets.

  41. 41.

    neil

    “I’m suspicious of anything with ‘Bill of Rights’ tacked on to it.” — Alexander Hamilton

  42. 42.

    The Easter Bunny

    I don’t know why I’m being such an asshole right now. It’s not intentional. WTF is wrong with me?

    You mean, besides the fact that you’re a zombie?

    He’s always been an asshole. Don’t let him fool you with this “oooh, I got my fat ass blown up by the Canuckistanis and then I was reanimated by their dark science and I have to carry my empty head around in a glass jar so I’ve learned humility and I’m a kinder, gentler mythological being now” horseshit.

    Say it with me, kids: Santa was an asshole, is an asshole, always will be an asshole.

    That being said, at least he took the Canuckistani threat and the War on Christmas seriously, unlike you fetid little Pelosi-panties-sniffing pukes.

    Peeps, bitches!

  44. 44.

    Punchy

    Apparently, Yellowjackets are in abundance here. Odd

    Yes, those friggin’ Georgia Tech alumni are everywhere….

  46. 46.

    Zifnab

    Although its rather meaningless in the grander scheme of things, I am obligated to point out, “Go Horn!”

    Thank you and have a good day.

  47. 47.

    Tim F.

    I nominate this from BrianJ:

    It is no longer a choice between violence and nonviolence in this world; it’s violence or nonexistence; that is where we are today. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

  50. 50.

    Rome Again

    Count your legs lately?

    I think I got one of yours on my keychain.

    Does it contain a chemical repellant?

  51. 51.

    Jake

    I like the Libby one especially since I originally thought it was Scooter mumbling around a mouth full of Cheney.

    I gotta stop hanging out with Evangelical ministers.

  53. 53.

    The Easter Bunny

    Count your legs lately?

    I think I got one of yours on my keychain.

    I can grow legs back faster than Santa can suck down a jumbo Blimpburger and a gallon of fries, moonbat. So keep it up and you’ll have a matching set, except you’ll have to pry the new one out of your America-hating ass first.

  56. 56.

    Punchy

    One more gem here…from the HOLY NO-SHIT DEPT:

    Overall, nearly all of the terrorism-related statistics on investigations, referrals and cases examined by department Inspector General Glenn A. Fine were either diminished or inflated. Only two of 26 sets of department data reported between 2001 and 2005 were accurate, the audit found.

    Just 2 in 4 years. Honest, responsible, accurate gov’t.

  57. 57.

    Face

    Just lost our last real ally in I-wreck:

    LONDON – Prime Minister Tony Blair on Wednesday will announce a new timetable for the withdrawal of British troops from Iraq, with at least 1,500 to return home in several weeks, the BBC reported.

    Mr. Snow, first question: Why does the President insist timetables embolden the enemy, and then all of a sudden, our best ally announces a timetable?

    The WH spin on this will be gut-wrenching. Tony may actually earn his paycheck if he can get out of this one….

  59. 59.

    The Easter Bunny

    The cancer which is killing the Tasmanian Devils is unique—it’s a contagious cancer spread by biting.

    Bitches shouldn’t have tried stealing my candy. They got what they deserved.

  60. 60.

    Krista

    It is no longer a choice between violence and nonviolence in this world; it’s violence or nonexistence; that is where we are today. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

    That is nicely done, isn’t it?

    Love these two, however:

    “Whenever I hear the word `liberal’, I reach for my revolver.”—Thomas Jefferson

    “There are many causes I would kill for. There is not a single cause I would die for.”—Gandhi

  61. 61.

    Bil

    Good luck. All (most) winners. Here’z my topz, in order.

    Dixie Says:

    “In a time of universal terrorism, crushing dissent becomes a revolutionary act.” —George Orwell

    Holy hell. It’s scary how easy it is to do this kind of shit.

    February 15th, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    TheOtherKen Says:

    How about this fake quote? “The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him.”—Allegedly said by George Bush on Sept 13, 2003 and quoted extensively on anti-Bush sites.
    February 16th, 2007 at 8:22 am

    jg Says:

    There must be no criticism of the President, we are to stand by the President, right or wrong. It is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public to do otherwise.

    Theodore Roosevelt

    Actual quote:
    To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.
    February 15th, 2007 at 7:32 pm

    DougJ Says:

    “There will come a time in this country, when men will be forced to give up their right to dissent in order that a larger battle against evil forces may be waged effectively. When that time comes, all who oppose our president must be imprisoned, for to undermine our leaders at such a time would surely be treason.” —Thomas Jefferson, letter to Sally Jennings from Paris

    dreggas Says:

    Everyone loathes his own country and countrymen if he is any sort of Democrat. – Durrell, Lawrence
    February 15th, 2007 at 7:55 pm

  63. 63.

    Richard 23

    Leave it to Free Republic to rebut that hit piece by Dana Priest on the crown jewel of military health care, Walter Reed. The MSM always sees the glass as empty, not realizing it’s full of clear liquid. What a bunch of America-hating twits!

    I think the biased WP was describing how things would be under Hitlery (HilLIARy) care. Socialist health care is the surest way to an early grave.

  64. 64.

    Richard 23

    FREEP expert Albion Wilde (…where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. -2 Cor 3:17):

    I have been in Building 18 several times over the past year to visit soldiers or to drop off donations. I went into the basement to use the toilet, and upstairs to see a soldier in his room. Everyone who knows me well knows I am a very particular person. I did not see nor smell any mold, vermin or stale carry-out odors.

    Case closed! So much for yet another kook hatchet job.

  66. 66.

    Luke Skywalker

    I liked this one:

    Where there is a lower class, I am not of it, where there is a criminal element I am not in it, where there is a soul in prison I am free.” -Eugene V. Debs

  67. 67.

    RicK

    The British are leaving! The British are leaving! – Paul Revere (on Tony ‘Lapdog’ Blairs decision yesterday.)

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