Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Their boy Ron is an empty plastic cup that will never know pudding.

Republican speaker of the house Mike Johnson is the bland and smiling face of evil.

“Loving your country does not mean lying about its history.”

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

Mediocre white men think RFK Jr’s pathetic midlife crisis is inspirational. The bar is set so low for them, it’s subterranean.

Well, whatever it is, it’s better than being a Republican.

When you’re a Republican, they let you do it.

Republicans cannot even be trusted with their own money.

Innocent people do not delay justice.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires Republicans to act in good faith.

We still have time to mess this up!

Text STOP to opt out of updates on war plans.

“Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on.”

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

Republicans do not trust women.

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Lick the third rail, it tastes like chocolate!

Trump should be leading, not lying.

Motto for the House: Flip 5 and lose none.

The republican caucus is covering themselves with something, and it is not glory.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

They punch you in the face and then start crying because their fist hurts.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

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Open Thread

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Sorry for shirking my responsibilities, but I am behind today. For fun, you could go read the transcript of Bush’s lame attempt to blame the Democrats for all the military readiness issues which have been known for the past few years. My personal favorite:

f Congress does not act, the Army may also have to delay the formation of new brigade combat teams, preventing us from getting those troops into the pool of forces that are available to deploy. If these new teams are unavailable, we would have to ask other units to extend into the theater.

Like these guys?

In other news, it appears Henry Kissinger has a book to sell.

Reader Interactions

55Comments

  1. 1.

    The Other Steve

    I’ve decided i don’t mind corrupt.

    It’s fucking incompetent that I can’t stand.

  2. 2.

    Bubblegum Tate

    Well, corrupt is, sadly, pretty much unavoidable. Fucking incompetent? That can be prevented. It’s pretty embarrassing for America that it wasn’t.

  3. 3.

    Chad N. Freude

    I like

    The bottom line is this: Congress’s failure to fund our troops on the front lines will mean that some of our military families could wait longer for their loved ones to return from the front lines. And others could see their loved ones headed back to the war sooner than they need to. That is unacceptable to me, and I believe it is unacceptable to the American people.

    Translation: If I refuse to sign the bill, THEY are responsible.
    Subtext: I’m not responsible for anything. Ever.

    Why won’t he just sign the funding bill with a signing statement that says he’ll ignore the schedule?

  4. 4.

    ThymeZone

    I listened to the whole Bush comedy show this morning.

    It’s grotestque to hear a guy who never cared a whit about the fortunes and well being of our servicepeople talking now as if it all hinged on what the Democrats do. And one who never cared a whit about porcine spending habits by a republican congress now pretend to care about the hygiene in a spending bill.

    The man is a pathetic joke. It’s party comforting to know that only about 25% of Americans put any stock in what the fucker says, but then it’s scary to think that one out of four Americans actually puts any stock in what the fucker says. Can one in four people actually be that stupid?

    If the asshole really cares about the troops “having what they need” then he’ll sign the spending bill he doesn’t like and pull away from the Iraq disaster like his daddy told him to last year, for crissakes. He won’t use the fighting men and women as props in his acting out a Washington power struggle.

  5. 5.

    Tom Hilton

    I’ve decided i don’t mind corrupt.

    It’s fucking incompetent that I can’t stand.

    Corrupt, incompetent, and authoritarian are inseparable in this case because they all feed on each other. The authoritarian insistence on executive infallibility shields corruption and incompetence from accountability. The corrupt view of government as spoils (or as an arm of the political effort) puts incompetent partisans in key positions. The incompetence and corruption reinforce authoritarian efforts to resist acountability. It’s a perfect storm of everything you don’t want in government.

  6. 6.

    Zifnab

    Why won’t he just sign the funding bill with a signing statement that says he’ll ignore the schedule?

    He’ll sign it. And he’ll probably toss the signing statement afterwards. You just have to remember that Bush is a notorious liar who doesn’t mind flip-flopping any which way and to hell with his party.

    He’s just playing poker with Congress, banking that they won’t have the balls to hand him a bill he doesn’t want because he can veto it and the media will make this out to be the Democrats’ fault.

    But by the time the bill finally hits the table, Dick Cheney will pull him aside, show him the cut they plan to rack in, give the man a loli, and send Bush off to sign the bill while claiming this is a validation that the surge strategy is working.

  7. 7.

    Chad N. Freude

    Can one in four people actually be that stupid?

    Easily. I’m not very sanguine about the other 75% either. Quoting myself from another thread:

    I think that a lot of them can be swayed by Swift-boating, perceived military success of the October surprise variety, hope (uniter not a divider, integrity back to the Oval Office, etc.) Keep your voting machine button-pushing fingers crossed.

    One problem is that the Democrats don’t have a noise machine like the Repugnicans do, and whoever shouts their repetitive slogans loudest gets the prize.

  8. 8.

    Chad N. Freude

    The authoritarian insistence on executive infallibility shields corruption and incompetence from accountability.

    Excellent sentence. I wish I’d said that.

  9. 9.

    The Other Steve

    Interesting comments by Kissinger.

    “That is the sort of framework out of which it is conceivable that an agreement should emerge,” Kissinger said. “One needs to be prepared to negotiate with adversaries.”

    Kissinger said that fighting in Iraq is likely to continue for years, and that America’s national interest requires an end to partisan bickering at home over war policy.

    “The role of America in the world cannot be defined by our internal partisan quarrels,” he said. “All the leaders, both Republican and Democratic, have to remember that it will go on for several more years and find some basis for common action.”

    I have always respected Kissinger. He is largely hated in America by the extremes. The left for his involvement in Chile, and the Reagan fanboy right, who accused Kissinger of capitulating to the Commies in Vietnam.

  10. 10.

    Paul L.

    This greatly amused me. The Swiftboating of Al Gore.

    CARS SOLD

    From whom did Sir Nicholas Stern get his crazy idea that US vehicles aren’t sold in pristine, environmentally-aware China? Why, possibly from Holy Al Gore himself:

    “We can’t sell our cars in China today because we don’t meet the Chinese emissions standards.”

    Wrong, almost-President Gore. Check the links.

  11. 11.

    craigie

    At this point, wouldn’t it just be easier to treat it as news when Bush doesn’t say something preposterous or deranged?

  12. 12.

    Chad N. Freude

    At this point, wouldn’t it just be easier to treat it as news when Bush doesn’t say something preposterous or deranged?

    Newspapers would be blank. TV News would be silent (except for Fox).

  14. 14.

    Mike S

    I had to get up early today to load my two sick cats up for my wife to drop off at the vet only to see The Decider’s presser. After a few minutes I figured it would be a more fun to clean up after the 15 year olds incontinence.

    At least he can’t help pissing all over me.

  15. 15.

    Pb

    Bush’s lame attempt to blame the Democrats for all the military readiness issues which have been known for the past few years.

    Why does that sound strangely familiar:

    I believe the role of the military is to fight and win war and therefore prevent war from happening in the first place. So I would take my responsibility seriously. And it starts with making sure we rebuild our military power. Morale in today’s military is too low. We’re having trouble meeting recruiting goals. We met the goals this year, but in the previous years we have not met recruiting goals. Some of our troops are not well-equipped. I believe we’re overextended in too many places. And therefore I want to rebuild the military power. It starts with a billion dollar pay raise for the men and women who wear the uniform. A billion dollars more than the president recently signed into law. It’s to make sure our troops are well-housed and well-equipped. Bonus plans to keep some of our high-skilled folks in the services and a commander in chief that sets the mission to fight and win war and prevent war from happening in the first place.

    Of course, there’s much more where that came from, sadly:

    I agree our military is the strongest in the world today, that’s not the question. The question is will it be the strongest in the years to come? Everywhere I go on the campaign trail I see moms and dads whose son or daughter may wear the uniform and they tell me about how discouraged their son or daughter may be. A recent poll was taken among 1,000 enlisted personnel, as well as officers, over half of whom will leave the service when their time of enlistment is up. The captains are leaving the service. There is a problem. And it’s going to require a new commander in chief to rebuild the military power. I was honored to be flanked by Colin Powell and General Norman Schwartzkopf recently stood by me side and agreed with me. If we don’t have a clear vision of the military, if we don’t stop extending our troops all around the world and nation building missions, then we’re going to have a serious problem coming down the road, and I’m going to prevent that. I’m going to rebuild our military power. It’s one of the major priorities of my administration.

    So how’d that work out, again?

    Incidentally, did anyone figure out who said my mystery quote yet, in the previous thread? Hint: it wasn’t George W. Bush.

  16. 16.

    Darrel, D'Souza, Delay and Strauss

    I have always respected Kissinger. He is largely hated in America by the extremes. The left for his involvement in Chile, and the Reagan fanboy right, who accused Kissinger of capitulating to the Commies in Vietnam.

    Actually, it was his ingenious policies in Cambodia and their aftermath that really won the left over. But let’s not forget the personal contributions made by Novak and Noonan.

  17. 17.

    Mike S

    I love the right wingnuts like Paul and Drudge. According to them our leaders should never show respect for another country’s religious traditions.

    And those idiots wonder why we are hated more each day by people around the world.

  18. 18.

    Zifnab

    At this point, wouldn’t it just be easier to treat it as news when Bush doesn’t say something preposterous or deranged?

    How much more ANS do you really want to see on your TV screen? Besides, the man is comedy gold! The shit that comes spewing out of his mouth is worth a million sexed interns.

  19. 19.

    gex

    Alternate translation:

    “I refuse to budget for a war that has been going on for four years in the regular budget, because now that the Democrats are in control, I am going to make a big show of wanting to balance the budget. Then I am going to ask for emergency funding for this little thing that came up suddenly. How was I to know that I would need money for this thing?”

    “Obviously the Democrats are do not support the troops by passing this bill for funding I did not even bother to allocate in the annual budget. The nerve of some people.”

  20. 20.

    gex

    Notice the extra “are” in that translation. I’d be ashamed of my grammatical/typographical error, except that it makes the bit seem more authentically Bush-like.

  21. 21.

    Perry Como

    Drudge is now Swiftboating a true feminist icon Nancy Pelosi .

    I once wore a yarmulke in a temple and I’m not Jewish. What exactly is Drudge’s (and your) point?

  22. 22.

    Andrew

    I love the right wingnuts like Paul and Drudge.

    Look, Mike, just because they’re gayer than Elton John doesn’t mean that they’re going to gay marry you in Massachusetts or Waziristan or whatever just because you love them so much.

  23. 23.

    Chad N. Freude

    Hint: it wasn’t George W. Bush.

    I could tell that from the use of the phrase “intellectual rigor”. Textual analysis suggests that it could be Dick Cheney, although the sentences are kind of long for him.

  24. 24.

    Andrew

    I once wore a yarmulke in a temple and I’m not Jewish.

    You are now, Perry! Mazel tov!

  25. 25.

    Paul L.

    I once wore a yarmulke in a temple and I’m not Jewish. What exactly is Drudge’s (and your) point?

    Did you follow the link?
    It contains this story.

    In the midst of several questions about the role of women in an Islamic society, Fallaci charged that the chador was symbolic of the segregation into which women have been cast by the revolution. “They have to take a dip apart in their chadors,” she said. “By the way how do you swim in a chador?” “Our customs are none of your business,” Khomeini answered. “If you do not like Islamic dress, you’re not obliged to wear it because Islamic dress is for good and proper young women.”

    “That’s very kind of you,” said Fallaci. And since you said so, I’m going to take off this stupid, medieval rag right now.” When she did so, recounts Fallaci, Khomeini got up “like a young cat” and left the room without saying a word. Khomeini, however, agreed to see her again the next day.

  26. 26.

    Pb

    We can’t sell our cars in China today because we don’t meet the Chinese emissions standards.

    Except, of course, that Gore never said this, like practically every other quote you’ve ever attributed to him. Feel free to try again, but just don’t lie again, mmmkay?

  27. 27.

    ThymeZone

    Paul L is the David Helfgott of BJ commenters. The notes sound as if they are in the right order, but there is something really goofy about the guy at the piano …..

  28. 28.

    Pb

    Chad N. Freude,

    Textual analysis suggests that it could be Dick Cheney

    Ding ding ding! Dick Cheney, in October of 1993, talking about evil Bill Clinton and our troops in Haiti. More:

    It doesn’t make sense to put military forces, in my opinion, into Haiti in the first place. I don’t think there is any identifiable military mission they can accomplish. I don’t think there is a well-defined objective or any notion of how, once you get them in, you are going to get them out.

    Now there’s a thought. Where was that Dick Cheney when we needed him?

  29. 29.

    Moll Slanders

    Paul L is the David Helfgott of BJ commenters. The notes sound as if they are in the right order, but there is something really goofy about the guy at the piano …..

    I’ve noticed that too. (Hmmmmm)

  30. 30.

    Chad N. Freude

    Ding ding ding!

    From the way the question was posed, it was apparent — well, it seemed very likely, that the administration being referred to was Clinton’s. Assuming that to be the case, the question became which lying, history re-writing hypocrite in the Bush43 administration is (a) prominent enough to warrant the riddle, and (b) talks like that. Elementary, my dear Pb.

    Do I get a prize?

  31. 31.

    Zifnab

    Now there’s a thought. Where was that Dick Cheney when we needed him?

    Digging through Monica Lewinsky’s panty draw in search of “evidence”, I believe.

  32. 32.

    Moll Slanders

    Now there’s a thought. Where was that Dick Cheney when we needed him?

    He was banking on oil contracts and Halliburton stock options?

  33. 33.

    Jake

    When the fuck did Shatt Fudge become a feminist? Would he be quite so excited if Pelosi entered a Christian house of worship with her head covered?

    Wait, I can answer these on my own:

    Never.
    No.

    Fucks to the both of youse.

  35. 35.

    Perry Como

    “That’s very kind of you,” said Fallaci. And since you said so, I’m going to take off this stupid, medieval rag right now.”

    Yeah, nothing offensive about calling someone’s religious garb a “stupid, medieval rag.” While I agree with Fallaci’s sentiment, saying it in front of an Ayatollah seems a bit tactless. It would be like going into the Vatican and telling the Pope he’s a cannibal for partaking in communion.

  36. 36.

    Chad N. Freude

    Err… you get to pick the next mystery quote!

    But there are so many to choose from, I can’t make up my mind. Wait! I know what to do — I’ll ask the Decider.

    Hey, Pb, has anyone ever commented on how leaden your screen name is?

  37. 37.

    Tom Hilton

    Chad N. Freude says:

    The authoritarian insistence on executive infallibility shields corruption and incompetence from accountability.

    Excellent sentence. I wish I’d said that.

    Are you being snarky or sincere? Because I reread it and think ‘good lord, what a clunky sentence that is.’

    But I do think the sense of it is pretty reasonable.

  38. 38.

    Paul L.

    Yeah, nothing offensive about calling someone’s religious garb a “stupid, medieval rag.” While I agree with Fallaci’s sentiment, saying it in front of an Ayatollah seems a bit tactless. It would be like going into the Vatican and telling the Pope he’s a cannibal for partaking in communion.

    IMHO, I think it is like telling the Pope that the Catholic position on abortion and birth control is old-fashioned.

  39. 39.

    HyperIon

    Hey, Pb, has anyone ever commented on how leaden your screen name is?

    yes…several years ago.

  40. 40.

    Chad N. Freude

    snarky or sincere

    Definitely sincere. It incorporates (I almost said “crams”, but that’s not the right tone) no fewer than five serious ideas (authoritarian, [false sense of]infallibility, corruption, incompetence, accountability) that describe the Bush League in a single sentence. I don’t think it’s clunky at all. And I often write like that myself.

  41. 41.

    Chad N. Freude

    I think it is like telling the Pope that the Catholic position on abortion and birth control is old-fashioned his membership in the Hitlerjugend makes him a supporter of the Nazis.

    Adjusted.

  42. 42.

    chopper

    I once wore a yarmulke in a temple and I’m not Jewish.

    you, sir, are worse than hitler.

  43. 43.

    chopper

    IMHO, I think it is like telling the Pope that the Catholic position on abortion and birth control is old-fashioned.

    actually, it’s like telling the pope that the catholic position on abortion and birth control is ‘stupid and medieval’. true enough, but you’re talking to the pope FFS.

  45. 45.

    lard lad

    Call out the waaaaaaahmbulance and break out the world’s smallest violin for far-right rottweiler Glenn Beck! He’s ruptured himself.

    From the April 2 edition of Premiere Radio Networks’ The Glenn Beck Program:

    I mean, I was talking about it with my family yesterday. I said, “I’m tired of being the least popular person in the world.” I said look at our family. We’re Americans. Nobody likes Americans. We’re Americans, so the world hates us. But then inside of America, we love America — and that’s becoming more and more unpopular. So, we’re not popular with Americans.

    Then we’re Christians. That’s not popular anymore. But not only are we Christians, we’re Mormons. So, we’re not even liked by the Christians. I just — I’m white. I’m human. There are a lot of environmentalists that don’t like humans, but within the humans that accept humans, I’m white.

    The majority of humans don’t like whites. I mean, I just can’t win. You can’t win. And why is it? Because if you are a white human that loves America and happens to be a Christian, forget about it, Jack. You are the only one that doesn’t have a political action committee for you.

    God forbid, I forgot that I’m also a conservative. I’m a conservative, which is not popular in America, but I’m a conservative that doesn’t like the Republicans. I can’t win! I’ve got to find one thing that I agree with, you know, the rest of the world on, I guess. I’m tired of being in that group. Conservatives get no respect.

    Mmmmmm… yeah. Right-wing jackasses identifying themselves with Rodney Dangerfield. Hopefully, we’ll be tuning out many hours of similar whining from Beck and his ilk over the next few decades.

  46. 46.

    Andrew

    Shorter Glenn Beck: “I am a huge dickhead. Waaah! P.S. The only way I get women is with roofies.”

  47. 47.

    Chad N. Freude

    But not only are we Christians, we’re Mormons

    He spelled that with one too many “m”s.

  48. 48.

    Chad N. Freude

    My previous post on Glen Beck’s religious preference was not directed at all Mormons. For example, consider Mitt Romney … Oh, wait.

  49. 49.

    Krista

    Oh, poor Glenn Beck. That’s truly pitiful. We should get in touch with charities in Darfur to see if they might be able to find a foster parent to sponsor him, and to offer that poor wretched soul a ray of hope that someday, somehow, he’ll have a better life.

  50. 50.

    Chad N. Freude

    poor Glenn Beck.

    How can one person belong to so many despised minorities?

  52. 52.

    Tulkinghorn

    Incidentally, did anyone figure out who said my mystery quote yet, in the previous thread?

    I’ll bite: Bob Dole, in reference to Clinton’s sending troops to Haiti.

    I will now go google to see what it is…

  54. 54.

    jake

    Alas poor Glenn. How he longs for the days when a white man could lynch a black boy for walking on his shadow. How he pines for the dear departed days of torching the local synagogue for shits n’ giggles and then off for a bit of sexual assault in Chinatown! Those girls like it rough, I read it on the bathroom wall don’tyouknow? On the best days Glenn and his chums would espy a chap who was less than 100% masculine and then Tally ho! Time for a spot of jolly f@g bashing!

    Ah those happy golden days of yore, will they ever come again?

    Or will someone stick a sock down Beck’s gullet?

  55. 55.

    Pb

    I will now go google to see what it is…

    Not everything is on Google, sadly, but if you find it, let me know!

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