Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

So it was an October Surprise A Day, like an Advent calendar but for crime.

Relentless negativity is not a sign that you are more realistic.

Stop using mental illness to avoid talking about armed white supremacy.

Marge, god is saying you’re stupid.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Disappointing to see gov. newsom with his finger to the wind.

If you still can’t see these things even now, maybe politics isn’t your forte and you should stop writing about it.

“A king is only a king if we bow down.” – Rev. William Barber

He wakes up lying, and he lies all day.

Fear or fury? The choice is ours.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

Trump’s cabinet: like a magic 8 ball that only gives wrong answers.

There is no compromise when it comes to body autonomy. You either have it or you do not.

the 10% who apparently lack object permanence

Weird. Rome has an American Pope and America has a Russian President.

Let’s bury these fuckers at the polls 2 years from now.

These days, even the boring Republicans are nuts.

You’re just a puppy masquerading as an old coot.

She burned that motherfucker down, and I am so here for it. Thank you, Caroline Kennedy.

Books are my comfort food!

But frankly mr. cole, I’ll be happier when you get back to telling us to go fuck ourselves.

Hot air and ill-informed banter

We’ve had enough carrots to last a lifetime. break out the sticks.

There are more Russians standing up to Putin than Republicans.

You are here: Home / Foreign Affairs / Sad Times at the NRO

Sad Times at the NRO

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Unfortunately, there will be no new war to carry us into the ’08 elections:

Fifteen British sailors and marines seized by Iranian naval personnel have been pardoned and will be freed, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at a press conference Wednesday, but he vowed his country would not tolerate invasions of its borders by any country.

“I announce that the great people of Iran and the Islamic Republic, even having legal rights to try these military people, in honor of the prophet’s birthday, will be freed as a gift to the people of the United Kingdom,” Ahmadinejad said in a speech to reporters, clerics and civil servants at a small hall in Tehran.

Considering we have no Army to send and the Brits have no desire to get enmeshed in a land war in Iran, this is probably a very good thing. Please note, however, that the source is Fox News. Buyer beware and all that.

Reader Interactions

43Comments

  1. 1.

    David

    I could live with Ahmadinejad phrasing it as “they didn’t do anything serious enough to risk a war over” instead of “look how nice we are!”, but hopefully this defuses things nonetheless.

  3. 3.

    John S.

    Yup.

    Just as I feared, Iran has been allowed to successfully pass themselves off as being more humane in their treatment of prisoners than the United States.

    Congratulations Bush administration. You must be very proud.

  4. 4.

    Pb

    Unfortunately, there will be no new war to carry us into the ‘08 elections

    Why, does this administration suddenly need a real pretext to go to war this time?

  5. 5.

    Punchy

    Hi, I’m Rudolph Guliani, and I think the President can fund any war, any time, Congress be dammed. So let’s get it on with Iran, bitches!

    Then he began to muse about, after a veto, “would the president have the constitutional authority to support them [the troops], anyway?” He said he’s a lawyer so he wouldn’t offer an opinion “off the top of his head,” then he proceeded to do just that. He seemed to suggest that Bush could fund the Iraq war without Congress providing funding, but it was confusing. In an interview with a New Hampshire TV reporter after his remarks, he seemed more categorical and said, since the war had been authorized by Congress, the president has “the inherent authority to support the troops.”

    Somebody…quick…show me that Declaration of War signed by Congress. I haven’t seen it yet…

  7. 7.

    coomaraswamee

    Ouch, Ahmadinejad 1, Bush 0…if we can even give Bush the zero.
    Releasing the British prisoners has really framed an already a horrible situation.

    Cheney etc…..may be….war………criminals?

  8. 8.

    jenniebee

    John, John, John, you still don’t get it, do you? For the Bushies, the Iranians inherent insoluable eeeevil is a casus belli in and of itself. Every day that administration exists is a day they stifle democracy and impede freedom, and by doing that, they are breeding terror, ergo their existence, no matter what they actually do, is a positive threat to our way of life. Also, if they tried to avoid war by just stopping their own breathing or something, that would be a hostile act because by denying us a war they’re denying us a win, so they’re winning which we can’t stand for. Or some other tub of horseshit like that.

  9. 9.

    David

    Punchy:

    Please tell me you made that up. Even in these fucking insane times, we can’t have a real live lawyer claiming that the President has the power to create appropriations out of whole cloth. Right?

  10. 10.

    Jake

    in honor of the prophet’s birthday, will be freed as a gift to the people of the United Kingdom,”

    OMG, Ahmalamadingdong is escalating The War Against Christmas!

    Heh. Anyways, I’m sure the Deciderator will be along in a second to tell us that it was his statements that caused the eyeranians to back down.

  11. 11.

    The Other Steve

    You know something’s seriously messed up when Iran is winning the P.R. war….

    It’s more like we keep handing the ball to the quarterback(Bush) and he keeps running the wrong way with it.

  12. 12.

    The Other Steve

    It’s more like we keep handing the ball to the quarterback(Bush) and he keeps running the wrong way with it.

    Speaking of which. I think for the sake of the nation the Democrats should come out in favor of war with Iran, torture, bombing Syria and starting a nuclear war with Russia.

    Why?

    Because Bush will automatically oppose any idea the Democrats come up with.

  13. 13.

    Cyrus

    David Says:
    Punchy:

    Please tell me you made that up. Even in these fucking insane times, we can’t have a real live lawyer claiming that the President has the power to create appropriations out of whole cloth. Right?

    If Punchy made that up, then I’m afraid Rich Lowry is in on it.

  14. 14.

    The Other Steve

    BTW, I was listening to the news last night, and it’s kind of funny. The Christian wingnuts have started a shitstorm up here. The Somalia/Muslim immigrants are demanding prayer breaks at work, and they’re using Falwell/Robertson rhetoric to support their position.

    Oh, and to top that off. After the Pharmacists started saying they couldn’t dispense birth control because of their religion. Now the muslims are saying they can’t scan pork at the checkout line, and carry drunk passengers in taxis.

  15. 15.

    Krista

    Even in these fucking insane times, we can’t have a real live lawyer claiming that the President has the power to create appropriations out of whole cloth. Right?

    It gets even better (emphasis mine):

    Crane asked if Romney believed the president should have the authority to arrest U.S. citizens with no review. Romney said he would want to hear the pros and cons from smart lawyers before he made up his mind.Mitt Romeny can’t say — at least not until he engages in a careful and solemn debate with a team of “smart lawyers” — whether, in the United States of America, the President has the power to imprison American citizens without any opportunity for review of any kind. But in today’s Republican Party, Romney’s openness to this definitively tyrannical power is the moderate position. Ponnuru goes on to note:
    Crane said that he had asked Giuliani the same question a few weeks ago. The mayor said that he would want to use this authority infrequently.

  17. 17.

    ThymeZone

    Negotiations with turrists don’t work. It’s some kind of trick. It’s a diversion away from the evil turrist activity going on behind the cameras.

    Only the Decider can decide when to conduct talks with these turrists who want to kill us.

  18. 18.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Oh, and to top that off. After the Pharmacists started saying they couldn’t dispense birth control because of their religion. Now the muslims are saying they can’t scan pork at the checkout line, and carry drunk passengers in taxis.

    Those pharmacists should be fired, and so should they.

  19. 19.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Only the Decider can decide when to conduct talks with these turrists who want to kill us.

    That’s why he got the Man-Date, you know. It wasn’t just about getting his rocks off, he’s not Clinton.

  20. 20.

    Pb

    Perry Como Says:

    I’m sure Paul L. will want to launch a few missives at Laura Bush now.

    No, see, Nancy Pelosi was surely collaborating with terrorists, whereas Laura Bush was merely dressing up like Jackie O–totally different!

  21. 21.

    ThymeZone

    Now the muslims are saying they can’t scan pork at the checkout line, and carry drunk passengers in taxis.

    Can we carry pork in their taxis?

  23. 23.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    OMG, Ahmalamadingdong is escalating The War Against Christmas!

    Nah, don’t worry about it. It’s a little side business I have going on. The Lord and I have an understanding when it comes to major world religions. Let’s leave it at that.

  24. 24.

    Tsulagi

    Unfortunately, there will be no new war to carry us into the ‘08 elections:

    Don’t be so quick with that judgment. Cheney’s still working his PowerPoint.

  29. 29.

    Randolph Fritz

    After the Pharmacists started saying they couldn’t dispense birth control because of their religion. Now the muslims are saying they can’t scan pork at the checkout line, and carry drunk passengers in taxis.

    Y’know, it might just be a good idea if religion was kept out of policy and vice-versa. :-) Nah, too radical.

  30. 30.

    David

    It’s more like we keep handing the ball to the quarterback(Bush) and he keeps running the wrong way with it.

    Oh, my God, we elected Aaron Brooks!

  31. 31.

    PeterJ

    I’m sure Paul L. will want to launch a few missives at Laura Bush now.

    She’s wearing all black. That probably means that the secret FBI intelligence units aren’t far behind… They will deal with it.

  32. 32.

    mrmobi

    From NRO:

    Brit Wimps [John Derbyshire]

    Once again, it’s me and Ralph Peters on the same wavelength, deploring the cowardice of the British sailors and marines kidnapped by Iran. When it happened, I said I hoped the ones who’d shamed their country would be court-martialed on return to Blighty, and given dishonorable discharges after a couple years breaking rocks in the Outer Hebrides (which, believe me—I’ve been there—have a LOT of rocks).

    Now, I confess, I wouldn’t shed a tear if some worse fate befell them.

    The only coherent response I get to these sentiments is: “How do you know what they’ve been through? How would YOU stand up?” To which the obvious reply is the one Dr. Johnson gave in some similar case: “I may criticize a carpenter who makes me a bad table, though I cannot make a table myself. It is not my job to make tables.” It is the job of a Royal Marine to fight, and if necessary suffer and die, for his country. They know that when they go in. It’s what they are told! I nurse a quiet hope that if put to the test, I would stand up as well as any Marine. Whether or not I would, however, is irrelevant. Whether or not I could stand up well to torture, I expect Marines to.

    And in any case, there was no evidence of torture or mistreatment in any of the filmed cases I have seen. They look just fine. You can’t fake that. The girl sailor had that headscarf on within hours. From what I’ve heard of torture, even weaker cases can hold out for a few days.

    As for the argument that these people might have buckled under threats to hurt their comrades, I should think a soldier’s answer would be: “They are soldiers, same as me. They know the risks of service, and they’ll answer for themselves.”

    In any case, a trained soldier will have been instructed that these Iranian fanatics are without any scruples. They practice what Lenin called “revolutionary morality”—i.e. whatever advances the revolution is good, whatever does not, is bad. It should be assumed that everything the Iranians say is a lie. If they say: “Do this, and we won’t harm your mates,” and you do it, they will harm your mates anyway. Of course, this kind of truth is much harder to get across to young people who have been brainwashed from elementary school to believe that their own culture is corrupt, evil, and false, while…

    I also think they should all be shot. They are probably all Muslim converts by now, being sent back with explosives belts. Kill them all, it’s the only way to be sure. That’s just common sense, right Lambchop?

    Derbyshire is also correct when he says, “these Iranian fanatics are without any scruples.” I mean, what exquisite and subtle terrorism to capture soldiers while defending your border and then… treat them gently. Truly amoral. It’s really too bad we have to execute them all.

    Notice that Derbyshire says, “I nurse a quiet hope…” Ummm, isn’t he kind of old to still be nursing? Clearly, he is someone who knows quite a lot about inflicting torture, writing as he does.

    This is the face of Modern American Neo-Conservatism. You have to be able to survive unspeakable behavior without cracking, or you’re just a traitor, worthy of “two-in-the-brainpan.” It’s very Christian, don’t you think?

    Paul L. and Lambchop, we need volunteers to do this difficult duty, you guys on board with these executions?

  33. 33.

    Chad N. Freude

    I just read the NRO piece posted by mrmobi, and I think my jaw broke when it dropped to the floor. Actually, I think it was written by Lewis Carroll.

  35. 35.

    Tax Analyst

    WOW! Derbyshire’s bravery is astounding…he would hold on right up to SOMEBODY ELSE’S last tortured, tormented, pain-racked gasp. Whatta MaNN…it’s good to know we have such stalwart men willing to raise their pen in favor of other people sacrificing their lives for a True Principle. Just picture old John standing up to a firing-squad…erect, proud, unbowed…maybe with a cigarette dangling defiantly from his lips…of course, the firing-squad would be aiming in another direction…at somebody else.

  36. 36.

    ConservativelyLiberal

    Wow, the Iranians release the captives. No waterboarding, no torturing, no abuse that anyone is aware of. I am not saying that they were wrong or right in what they did, but they sure made us look bad.

    I recently heard that the terrorist watch list (Cheney’s Shit List) has over 400,000 people on it. Got that people, 400,000 ‘terrorists’. In my work, I deal with data a lot. Good data can be made into bad data by adding irrelevant data to it. I find it hard to believe that every single one of those 400,000 are terrorists who are out to blow up the USA.

    But a list with that many people on it would sure scare those who trust this idiot-in-chief. That is what it is intended to do, IMO. Why else would the White House put out data like this? What does it accomplish? More terrorizing is the goal, and it is of our own people IMO.

  37. 37.

    Chad N. Freude

    But Wait!! There’s More!!
    The money quote:

    I am not brave, and I don’t expect everyone to be brave. I do, however, expect *S*O*L*D*I*E*R*S* to be brave. That’s what they’re for.

    The whole disgusting piece:

    Rejoicing in Humiliation [John Derbyshire]

    From the Daily Mail report:

    Mahmoud Ahmadinejad smiled as he talked through an interpreter to several of the men held captive for 13 days in the capital Tehran. One of them was heard to say to him: “Thanks for releasing us. I wish you success.”

    I believe the Mail missed a few words there. My sources tell me that what the Brit actually said was: “Thanks for releasing us, and for humiliating my despicable country and our pathetic armed forces. I wish you success in your declared project to wipe out Israel, dominate your region by nuclear bullying, and bring an end to Western Civilization. Please feel free to give us all one more good beating before we leave the precious soil of your wonderful Islamic republic. It’s so much less than what we deserve. Allahu akbar!”

    A reader: “I’ll wait in vain for news of the courts martial for cowardice against them and their superiors.”

    Yes, I’m afraid you will, Sir. You won’t be waiting alone, though. There’s me, and a big email-bag full of readers who agree with me.

    One exception:

    Mr. Derbyshire: You should be profoundly ashamed of every word you wrote in “Brit Wimps,” including “the” and “a.” Chicken hawk that you are, you are very brave—with other peoples’ lives. Please remember that every time you look in the mirror you are looking at a man who, if imprisoned in Iran for even five minutes, would most likely wet his pants, convert to Islam, and chant “Death to America!” in order to save his hide.

    My reply:

    I am not brave, and I don’t expect everyone to be brave. I do, however, expect *S*O*L*D*I*E*R*S* to be brave. That’s what they’re for.

    It’s not just me that expects soldiers to be brave, it’s the services themselves—else why do all military codes ever written include punishments for cowardice? Regardless of how much courage we ourselves might possess (and how clever of that reader to know precisely how much I possess!—a thing I would not even swear to myself), the expectation that our military personnel behave courageously is, surely, reasonable. Is that “being brave with other people’s lives”? I suppose it is. Should I, then, drop my expectation that allied servicemen behave with extraordinary courage? I suppose I should.

    04/04 03:31 PM

    The Awfulness Quotient just keeps going up.

  38. 38.

    Tax Analyst

    Chad N.F.(but haven’t we all “(C)had enough” by now?), I don’t really think Derbyshire would wet his pants…naw, he’d shit ’em, for sure. He sure is bummed out those folks held captive weren’t brutally slaughtered. I guess it was pretty inconsiderate of them not to want to die for a bunch of bullshit PR. You know what I’d like? I’d like that chicken-shit asshole Derbyshire to actually FACE those folks and TELL them they are cowards who have disgraced the crown or whatever the fuck is supposed to be so all-goddamned more important than their lives. Now ask me what I really think.

  39. 39.

    Chad N. Freude

    “( C)had enough” by now?

    Never happen.
    I’m so appalled by this I can’t think of anything to say.

  40. 40.

    Tax Analyst

    Chad – You know, for once I don’t either. I’ll tell you what – that’s a rare occurrence. Anyway, going home for the day.

  41. 41.

    jake

    Who knew the Neo-Con Keyboard Mercenary Squad would be the ones to make the Marquis de Sade seem [French] vanilla.

    I am 100% against torture but unbalanced shits like Derbyshire give me some inkling as to why a man might think it perfectly correct to attach the jumper cables to a bastard’s goolies. But mainly he just makes me want to scrub down with bleach and Brillo pads. Hatty is way too excited about the prospect of soldiers being tortured and you can almost hear him weeping with frustration because the mean old Iranians deprived him of a bunch of broken bodies to drool over.

    Seek help you sick fuck.

  42. 42.

    lard lad

    Derbyshire’s piece might just be the most disgusting piece of right-wing upchuck I’ve ever encountered in years of blog trawling. This man deserves a knee shot to the groin.

    If the Brits had thrown down on the Iranians and gotten themselves smoked, every one… John Derbyshire would have been doing a Snoopy dance in front of his computer, clapping his hands in sweet anticipation of World War III.

    Instead, tonight he weeps bitter tears, once again cheated of his personal Armageddon.

    Wherever you are tonight, dear friends… take a moment to light up a greasy fart for this sad, sad little man.

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