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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Silly Republicans

Silly Republicans

by Tim F|  April 10, 20074:39 pm| 21 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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Desperate circumstances often lead to crazy thinking. I will illustrate with two recent examples.

#1: A group of Republicans feeling the Iraq heat thinks that they can talk Bush out of his absolutist stance on the war:

A diverse collection of House Republicans has formed an ad hoc group to negotiate with the White House on a compromise Iraq spending bill, Politico’s Ryan Grim reports. The group plans to hold talks with National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley, who has been working behind the scenes to cement opposition among Republicans to the spending bill that would require U.S. troops to withdraw from Iraq at some point.

The group includes five Republicans, diverse in geography and ideology: Reps. Pete Hoekstra of Michigan, Charles Boustany of Louisiana, Jeff Fortenberry of Nebraska, Mac Thornberry of Texas and Wayne Gilchrest of Maryland. Of the five, only Gilchrest broke with his party to support a timeline for withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq.

Now, Gilchrest says the group will encourage the White House to compromise on negotiations with Syria and Iran and on setting a date for withdrawal from Iraq. And the group has national security bona fides that will help it be taken seriously.

Rep. Gilchrist is more or less saying to the president, we’ve kept loyal to you for years. Sometimes it cost us dearly. Now maybe you can return the favor. Ha ha. Rep. Gilchrist should know that this president values loyalty above practically everything, sure, but his definition differs a bit from ours. To understand the kind of loyalty that an entitled old-money aristocrat like Bush expects from his allies, look up fealty.

Unless Rep. Gilchrist has a veto-busting coalition in his breast pocket he can save himself a trip.

Example #2: Rep. Phil Gingrey has another strategy.

Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-GA), who serves on the House Armed Services Committee, told “Hardball” fill-in host David Gregory that if the ‘surge’ has not yielded success in Iraq by August 2008, then “this president, and the Republican majority from the last Congress, we do have a ‘Plan B,’ but we’re not going to give it to the enemy.”

Gregory did not push him to shed light on the back up plan, but Gingrey conceded that “adjustments” would need to be made if victory had not be achieved in Iraq by August 2008.

Yes, a secret plan. Maybe Gingrey has some secret infantry divisions under his House desk. A written treaty with Ahmedinejad, Muqtada al-Sadr and whoever is runninng the Sunnis this week that takes effect as soon as Republicans regain Congress?* The possibilities are endless, or they would be if we lived on a happy planet where our options didn’t boil down to either leaving now, or spending some more blood and treasure, wrecking our army and then leaving. I’m sure that in Jan. 2009 Speaker Gingrey won’t admit, yeah my plan looks a lot like Pelosi’s plan, except I get credit for it. Suckers.

This is a thoroughly non-inclusive list. If you know any other examples of Iraqageddon inspiring millenialist thinking in Republicans, have at in the comments.

(*) Also included: Kurdish independence resolved without inflaming Turkey, Kirkuk ethnicity settled and the domestic terrorist groups retrained as call center workers for Geico.

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Reader Interactions

21Comments

  1. 1.

    Jill

    April 10, 2007 at 4:49 pm

    What’s with the secret plan? That cracks me up.

  2. 2.

    Pb

    April 10, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    Hey Gilchrist,

    the group will encourage the White House to compromise on negotiations with Syria and Iran and on setting a date for withdrawal from Iraq. And the group has national security bona fides that will help it be taken seriously

    how’d that Iraq Study Group thing work out for ya?

    And…

    we do have a ‘Plan B,’ but we’re not going to give it to the enemy

    This is called the Conrad Burns defense–and it’s a loser.

    If you know any other examples of Iraqageddon inspiring crazy millenialist thinking in Republicans

    John McCain. ’nuff said.

  3. 3.

    Joel

    April 10, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    President Bush once said that he would stay the course in Iraq “even if the only people with me are Laura and Barney.” I assumed at the time that he was being hyperbolic, but it now appears that he was dead serious. He is now losing his own party, but still showing no sign of wavering.

    If that trait came with more sense it might be admirable . . . .

  4. 4.

    Jay C

    April 10, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    What’s with the secret plan? That cracks me up.

    Hey, why not? It worked for Nixon – twice!

  5. 5.

    chopper

    April 10, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    “i have a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel”

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    April 10, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    What’s with the secret plan? That cracks me up

    Why don’t we play the game of “Guess What the Fuck Gins has Ginned Up”

    I say this clandestine operation involves taking all the sand out of Iraq and putting it in Alaska, so that the terrorists will be quite inclined to move to Alaska (terrorists hate soil), and unaccustomed to the terrian, will be eaten by polar bears.

    No more terrorists, and polar bears dont need fish until 2009.

  7. 7.

    Zifnab

    April 10, 2007 at 5:22 pm

    we do have a ‘Plan B,’ but we’re not going to give it to the enemy

    If there’s one thing Republicans have been staunch about, its not seeing Plan B fall into the hands of the wrong people. I went down to my pharmacist to get a Plan B, and she said, “No. It’s unethical and wrong.” I had no idea she was talking about politics.

    Of course, a secret Plan B worked a bit better for Nixon because Nixon hadn’t fucked up Vietnam to begin with. Thus he could ethically administer Plan B without the moral connundrum of being the cause.

  8. 8.

    Tsulagi

    April 10, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    President Bush once said that he would stay the course in Iraq “even if the only people with me are Laura and Barney.”

    Are you kidding? He’d kiss off Laura and Barney in a heartbeat. This is a spoiled brat in his sandbox with a toy: Iraq. He doesn’t want anybody messing with it, let alone taking it away from him.

    Until he can hand it to the next guy, then say he broke it.

  9. 9.

    Andrei

    April 10, 2007 at 5:51 pm

    Funny how screams and wails are shouted at those Democrats who would give the enemy an announced deadline for withdrawl, but that it’s perfectly a-okay to give the enemy a deadline where the “plan changes” in August of 2008.

  10. 10.

    Rome Again

    April 10, 2007 at 5:56 pm

    Funny how screams and wails are shouted at those Democrats who would give the enemy an announced deadline for withdrawl, but that it’s perfectly a-okay to give the enemy a deadline where the “plan changes” in August of 2008.

    Good point Andrei – two points!

  11. 11.

    Jackmormon

    April 10, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    Is that a veto-busting coalition in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  12. 12.

    Bubblegum Tate

    April 10, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    I went down to my pharmacist to get a Plan B, and she said, “No. It’s unethical and wrong.” I had no idea she was talking about politics.

    * rimshot *

  13. 13.

    stickler

    April 10, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Nixon hadn’t fucked up Vietnam? How about “escalation” and “Vietnamization” and quietly negotiating for a “decent interval” between our departure and the collapse of the South?

    Here’s Herblock’s view on the “secret plan” — a cartoon titled “Now, as I was saying four years ago…”

    One thin pleasure out of this Mesopotamian cockup is watching hapless military and Administration spokesmen assure us of impending success. You can just see the wheels spinning furiously in their heads as they try to tell us that things are looking up … without repeating those howlers from 1967, like “turning the corner,” or “light at the end of the tunnel.” Vietnam: the gift that keeps on giving.

  14. 14.

    Richard 23

    April 10, 2007 at 6:37 pm

    “i have a plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel”

    The Black Dagger.

  15. 15.

    Temple Stark

    April 10, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    David Gregory as fill-in host!!! That’s wrong, he still has a reputation. How long has this been going on? I rarely watch Hardball.

  16. 16.

    Temple Stark

    April 10, 2007 at 7:00 pm

    Oh, and any Black Adder quotes enhances a thread …

    Well, sir I have … a cunning plan.

    Baldrick, I’ve always been meaning to ask, do you have any ambitions in life apart from the acquisition of turnips?

    Er, no.

    So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?

    I’d get a little turnip of my own.

    So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?

    Oh, that’s different. I’d get a great big turnip in the country.

  17. 17.

    tBone

    April 10, 2007 at 7:05 pm

    Funny how screams and wails are shouted at those Democrats who would give the enemy an announced deadline for withdrawl, but that it’s perfectly a-okay to give the enemy a deadline where the “plan changes” in August of 2008.

    It’s simple, but probably too much for your BDS-afflicted leftard minds to grasp. I’ll try anyway:

    Filthy moonbat scum announcing their cut-n-run surrender date – bad.

    Brave patriotic Americans announcing the date when the double-super-secret plan for victory will be unveiled – good.

    I hope this information helps

  18. 18.

    grumpy realist

    April 10, 2007 at 7:11 pm

    I see someone else beat me to the “I have a cunning plan….”

    Have to say that no matter what, the Brits can do sardonic like no one else.

  19. 19.

    Otto Man

    April 10, 2007 at 8:17 pm

    Time to institute mandatory drug testing in Congress.

  20. 20.

    Perry Como

    April 11, 2007 at 4:16 am

    I see someone else beat me to the “I have a cunning plan….”

    But I have a punning clan.

Comments are closed.

Trackbacks

  1. Balloon Juice says:
    May 9, 2007 at 10:09 pm

    […] This trip inside the bubble has become something of a ritual pilgrimage among Republican legislators. Why is that? If the president cared about loyalty in the traditional sense they might have something to talk about, but these guys have worked with the president for long enough to know that he doesn’t work that way. Disagreement is disloyalty, you’re either with him or you’re against him, yadda yadda. These guys know they don’t have a veto-proof majority to wave around so the point of the trip has to be something other than changing the president’s mind. Talking will never change his position and these clowns lack the stones to change it by force. […]

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