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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Your Daily Republican Scandal

Your Daily Republican Scandal

by John Cole|  April 11, 200712:20 am| 28 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity, Outrage

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In what has become a daily event, a new scandal from this, the most corrupt administration of lifetime. And yes, I was alive for Nixon:

A federal panel responsible for conducting election research played down the findings of experts who concluded last year that there was little voter fraud around the nation, according to a review of the original report obtained by The New York Times.

Instead, the panel, the Election Assistance Commission, issued a report that said the pervasiveness of fraud was open to debate.

The revised version echoes complaints made by Republican politicians, who have long suggested that voter fraud is widespread and justifies the voter identification laws that have been passed in at least two dozen states.

Though the original report said that among experts “there is widespread but not unanimous agreement that there is little polling place fraud,” the final version of the report released to the public concluded in its executive summary that “there is a great deal of debate on the pervasiveness of fraud.”

It is a tried and true formula. For example:

Though the original report said that among experts “there is widespread but not unanimous agreement that there is global warming,” the final version of the report released to the public concluded in its executive summary that “there is a great deal of debate on the topic of global warming.”

or:

Though the original report said that among experts “there is widespread but not unanimous agreement that Ru-486 and Plan B are safe,” the final version of the report released to the public concluded in its executive summary that “there is a great deal of debate on the safety of Ru-486 and Plan B .”

or:

Though the original report said that among experts “there is widespread but not unanimous agreement that there are no real ties between Al Qaeda and Iraq,” the final version of the report released to the public concluded in its executive summary that “there is a great deal of debate over how deep the ties run between Al Qaeda and Iraq.”

or:

Though the original report said that among experts “there is widespread but not unanimous agreement that Terri Schiavo is permanently and irrevocably brain damaged and a vegetable,” the final version of the report released to the public concluded in its executive summary that “there is a great deal of debate regarding whether Terri Schiavo can get up and go for a walk next week.”

Do I need to go on?

You see, when you the only things you believe in are keeping yourself in political power and advancing an agenda, you don’t have to worry about facts, or data, or actual good government. You just say whatever best makes your case at the time, and hope to hell no one finds out.

*** Update ***

And no, these are not actual quotes, but merely me paraphrasing what was actually said in all those cases. Tomorrow, when I do not have insomnia and have had some sleep, I will look up the actual remarks. They won;t be much different.

Nor, I suspect, will the defense of this behavior. They will state some iteration of the following: “It is normal for an administration to parse scientific or other reports generated within the administration for political reasons. Every administration does it. Just like Clinton and second hand smoke.”

Bet on it.

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Reader Interactions

28Comments

  1. 1.

    Mike P.

    April 11, 2007 at 12:54 am

    These are terrific, even remarkable catches John, if legit. Do you have links to the original published statements, or are you being ironic? Either way, entirely believeable from this posse.

  2. 2.

    Equal Opportunity Cynic

    April 11, 2007 at 12:55 am

    Outrage fatigue is setting in, except that I really believe these people are terrible and are doing their dead-level best to destroy our country. And they’re supposed to be the ones I agree with! No amount of ideological likemindedness is enough to make me look past how horribly they’ve governed in every way possible.

  3. 3.

    jg

    April 11, 2007 at 12:59 am

    So you no longer think Darrell argues in good faith?

  4. 4.

    The Mechanical Eye

    April 11, 2007 at 1:00 am

    Exactly.

    This is precisely the same tired method of argument that started my drift away from the Republican party. It explains a myriad of current argumentation, from Intelligent Design to the U.S. attorney firings – how the inexcusable or the laughable somehow becomes open for “debate.” This formula gives its user the impression of making a principled argument without actually stating one.

    The farther I get from the GOP, the more obvious its current anti-intellectual groupthink becomes.

    DU

  5. 5.

    scarshapedstar

    April 11, 2007 at 1:10 am

    I don’t think “corrupt” is really accurate anymore. It’s just a sham. It transcends corruption. Like the Enron trade floor; sure, they were stealing money, but that’s all they did and yet they went through the motions so well that even honest people bent over backwards to claim that they were still performing some useful purpose, at least initially.

    Corruption implies that there was something good to begin with. Nobody expects a thief to take care of a stolen car; he knows he can’t keep it forever, he’s got to chop it and fence it. Similarly, these assholes knew Bush wouldn’t possibly be reelected, having stolen the fucking election and waltzed in as a lame duck, so they set out from day one intent on stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down. Of course, what “nobody could have anticipated” was that Osama bin Laden would help them beyond even the very richest plutocrat’s wettest and wildest dreams.

  6. 6.

    scarshapedstar

    April 11, 2007 at 1:15 am

    Actually, maybe “front” is a little more accurate than “sham”. It’s like calling the garbage company corrupt. You mean the Mafia’s not on the up-and-up? No shit…

  7. 7.

    John Cole

    April 11, 2007 at 1:21 am

    Mike P. I am just paraphrasing what theysaid in all of those other cases.

    The phrasing is mine, the method all theirs.

  8. 8.

    Keith

    April 11, 2007 at 2:24 am

    And no, these are not actual quotes

    Coulda fooled me, but I can’t tell parody from reality any more.
    BTW: There’s one that didn’t come from the administration during hte campaign, but I heard it enough on Fox: “Johny Kerry received a Silver Star for his actions in Vietnam, but it’s still open to debate as to whether or not he intentionally shot himself for the medal” or “Questions still need to be answered”

  9. 9.

    Ross

    April 11, 2007 at 2:52 am

    Keith –

    The flap about John Kerry’s Vietnam service really drove me crazy. Here on the one hand Kerry was a decorated veteran, while on the other hand Bush used daddy’s connections to get into the national guard – and then went AWOL for nearly a year. And the “debate” in 2004 was whether or not Kerry got injured ENOUGH to earn his medals.

    And even though the smear didn’t come directly from the administration, Bush did recently attempt to reward it. He tried to appoint Sam Fox, who donated $50,000 to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, as ambassador to Belgium.

    Oy vey. To borrow a line from Zoolander: I feel like I’m taking crazy pills here.

  10. 10.

    Perry Como

    April 11, 2007 at 4:08 am

    He tried to appoint Sam Fox, who donated $50,000 to Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, as ambassador to Belgium.

    Fox is the new ambassador. After the White House figured out the Senate was going to reject the nomination, they withdrew Fox and waited until the Senate recessed to make an emergency appointment. Gotta pay the favors back somehow.

  11. 11.

    SPIIDERWEB™

    April 11, 2007 at 5:11 am

    It really is daily.

  12. 12.

    jake

    April 11, 2007 at 6:49 am

    Just like the Monty Python “Argument” skit.
    Except it ain’t fucking funny a’tall.

  13. 13.

    Punchy

    April 11, 2007 at 7:05 am

    By: John Cole April 11, 2007 at 12:20 am

    Ambien, Mr. Cole. Ambien. I’ll hold the bake sale and wire you the scratch, if necessary.

  14. 14.

    p.lukasiak

    April 11, 2007 at 7:27 am

    Here is a handy means of knowing in whether a report has been politicized.

    Groups of experts can always reach consensus on what the “facts” are, even when there is considerable debate as to the meaning/implications of those facts. You won’t find “widespread debate” about the pervasiveness of a phenomenon (i.e. the “facts”) even if one expert interprets the extent of a phenomenon as an epidemic which requires immediate remedial action, while another doesn’t see a problem at all.

    Take global warming. Every reputable scientist (effective unanimity) acknowledged the fact that there was a huge increase in greenhouse gases caused by human beings and that the data showed that the earth was warming at an alarming rate. There remained room for debate as to what it all meant — some reputable scientists think that the biosphere is self-regulating and would “fix itself” without a global catastrophe, while most disagreed. (Overall consensus that carbon dioxide emissions needed to be reduced, especially given the risks if the minority was wrong.) Nevertheless, there is considerable debate (widespread disagreement) as to the the most efficacious means of achieving the desired ends.

  15. 15.

    Slide

    April 11, 2007 at 7:45 am

    I will refer to the current occupiers of the executive branch as the Bush Crime Family…. more appropriate than calling the “The Administration” don’t ya think? But then again, I’m just a “bush hater”, Cole’s favorite way to describe me before his transformation.

  16. 16.

    Slide

    April 11, 2007 at 7:52 am

    Restoring honor and dignity to the White House, Bush style:

    * Lester Crawford – Commissioner, FDA – GUILTY – LIAR!

    * Carl Truscott – Director ATF – resigned. WASTED YOUR TAXES! (millions)

    * Joseph Schmitz – Inspector General, Defense – Resigned – CRONYISM!

    * Brian Doyle – Deputy Press Secretary, DHS – PEDO!

    * Claude Allen – Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy- resigned, GUILTY – SHOPLIFTING! (i shit you not)

    * David Safavian – former head of the Office of Federal Procurement Policy at the Office of Management and Budget.- GUILTY – LIAR! and ties to Jack Abramoff.

    * Steven Griles – Deputy Secretary at the Interior Department – JACK ABRAMOFF again!

    * Susan Ralston – assistant, White House – resigned – JACK ABRAMOFF again!

    * Dusty Foggo – Executive Director, CIA – stepped down following accusations of CORRUPTION in connection to the Duke Cunningham(IN JAIL) scandal. Under investigation.

    * Larry Franklin – intelligence officer, Defense – TRAITOR, resigned, pleaded guilty to passing secrets to Israel.

    * Janet Rehnquist – Inspector General, Department of Health and Human Services – resigned in the face of allegations she blocked a politically dangerous probe on behalf of the Bush family. COCKBLOCKER!

    * Roger Stillwell – desk officer, Interior Department – pleaded guilty to failing to report Redskins tickets and free dinners from JACK ABRAMOFF!

    * Ken Tomlinson, Board Chairman, Corporation for Public Broadcasting; member, Broadcasting Board of Governors – resigned at the release of an inspector general report concluding he had broken laws in spending CPB money to hire politically connected consultants to search for “bias” without consulting the board. At BBG, a separate investigation found he was running a “horse racing operation” out of his office, and continuing to hire politically-wired individuals to do “consulting” work for him. He’s still there. In other words, MOBSTER!

    * George Deutsch – press aide, NASA – resigned amid allegations he prevented the agency’s top climate scientist from speaking publicly about global warming. FLAT EARTH SOCIETY!

    * Richard Perle – Chairman, Defense Policy Board – resigned from Pentagon advisory panel amid conflict-of-interest charges. IRAQ HIS IDEA!

    * Frank Figueroa – senior DHS official, former head of anti-sex-crime Operation Predator – PEDO!

    * James Roche – secretary, U.S. Air Force – resigned – CROOK!

    * Darleen Druyun – senior contracting official, U.S. Air Force – JAILED – CROOK!

    * Marvin Sambur – top contracting executive, U.S. Air Force – Druyun’s boss, ALSO CROOK!

    * Philip Cooney – chief of staff, White House Council on Environmental Quality – a former oil industry lawyer with no scientific expertise, Cooney resigned after it was revealed he had watered down reports on global warming. SCEIENCE WTF???LOL!!!!111

    * “Scooter Libby” – convicted felon

    oh.. and I haven’t even mentioned the DOJ scandal which is a work in progress…..

  17. 17.

    Chad N. Freude

    April 11, 2007 at 8:19 am

    Bush Crime Family

    I like this. Don Bushleone. The part of Dick Cheney played by Robert Duvall. Barabara guns down Jenna. Or the other way around. Just when Monica Goodling thought she was out, they pull her back in. Jack Abramoff will sleep with the gefilte fishes.

  18. 18.

    Bob In Pacifica

    April 11, 2007 at 8:33 am

    Is it true that the stripper from the Duke lacrosse case is going to be named as a U.S. Attorney today?

    And how come all of you hate America?

  19. 19.

    Chad N. Freude

    April 11, 2007 at 8:44 am

    Is it true that the stripper from the Duke lacrosse case is going to be named as a U.S. Attorney today?

    She’s certainly qualified. She can’t remember anything with certainty and she can’t keep a story straight. But before they appoint her, they have to find a USA with a lot of experience and a flawless record to fire.

  20. 20.

    Teak111

    April 11, 2007 at 9:46 am

    And its only the tip of the iceberg. Bush has been at it for nearly 7 years. Hell, we probably need to look a Roberts and the other scho Bush put in the SC. It was the rubberstamp GOP that confirmed them. They are like idealogical cockroches, assume they are everywhere in the government by now.

  21. 21.

    Punchy

    April 11, 2007 at 10:31 am

    In the You Cant Make This Shit Up Dept:

    Upset by this lack of Jeb Bush adoration, the conservative-controlled House Schools & Learning Council voted yesterday to force the university to rename its education school the “Jeb Bush College of Education.”

    Over the faculty’s opposition, the school will now have “to erect ‘suitable markers‘ noting the college’s new name and include the revised name in all university documents, including catalogues and brochures.” The lawmakers acknowledge they “came up with the idea as an answer” to the faculty’s denial of Bush’s honorary degree

    First of all, “Jeb” isn’t even his real name. It’s a nickname. The Republicans in the FL Legy are too fucking stupid to even know this. Secondly, are they prepared to replace the signs every week–you just KNOW this shit’s getting ripped down nightly.

    I feel like I’m living in a dictatorship. The school votes it down….and the thugs to and force it anyways. Suddenly voting makes no diff. How is this democratic?

  22. 22.

    Leah

    April 11, 2007 at 11:00 am

    Let’s not forget Peggy Noonan’s formulation of the correct way to approach all rumors of Clintonian scandals, irrespective of missing evidence – “Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.” That’s a close approximation anyway.

    And that is exactly what the SCLM did for eight years. Yes, Bush isn’t getting stellar press coverage – how could he with the mess he’s created. But the impulse of the beltway 500 to cover for him, to avoid asking the obvious questions, compared with their readiness to destroy not only the Clintons, but also Al Gore, still astonishes me.

    More and more I get the feeling that Bush is the actual embodiment of everything Clinton was accused of being, except for “Monica,” although who knew Bush had his own version of a Monica. Frankly, I miss the sex.

    John, I’ve been meaning to add my voice to those who have expressed admiration and gratitude for the way you’ve put principle and country above party and ideology; you may just be the last honest conservative, or to be more hopeful, perhaps you’re a vanguard figure. Let’s hope so.

    You’ve got one of the best comment threads going, too, a fitting tribute to your intellectual honesty.

  23. 23.

    AkaDad

    April 11, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    I agree with Leah, especially the part about how my comments are the best…=]

  24. 24.

    Dreggas

    April 11, 2007 at 12:14 pm

    Slide Says:

    I will refer to the current occupiers of the executive branch as the Bush Crime Family…. more appropriate than calling the “The Administration” don’t ya think? But then again, I’m just a “bush hater”, Cole’s favorite way to describe me before his transformation.

    this is an insult to crime families everywhere. At least the Mafia was somewhat COMPETENT.

  25. 25.

    grumpy realist

    April 11, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    We’ve got fucking SNOW falling in Chicago right now!

    Tell me that the weather isn’t screwed up.

    And anyone who thinks that this disproves global warming should sent back for remedial courses in thermodynamics and conservation of energy. Global warming == higher average temperature + larger fluctuations in what we have.

    Am NOT looking forwards to this summer.

  26. 26.

    ThymeZone

    April 11, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    How is this democratic?

    We could have the My Pet Goat School of Education.

    Since there is no book, or even story, by that name (the actual name is “The Pet Goat” which is a story in a children’s reader).

  27. 27.

    kishnevi

    April 11, 2007 at 9:38 pm

    I feel like I’m living in a dictatorship. The school votes it down….and the thugs to and force it anyways. Suddenly voting makes no diff. How is this democratic?
    —
    FYI, the Florida Legislature back in 2000–then already firmly in Republican control–was, when Scalia & Co. handed down their decision in the presidential election, preparing to assert it had the right to name who got Florida’s electoral votes, and could name whomever it wished, NO MATTER WHAT THE ACTUAL RESULTS OF THE ELECTION.

    Jeb!s successor as governor earned a lot of political capital by proposing on his own initiative that the civil rights of felons be restored. Crist’s proposal has its problems, but it’s a lot more than Jeb! was ever prepared to do. Of course, Crist doesn’t have any siblings running for president.

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  1. ArchPundit » Blog Archive » Reality Takes a Hike says:
    April 11, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    […] John Cole points out the pattern here    [link] […]

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