This is your captain speaking, and I would like to take a moment to welcome Rick Moran aboard the Defeatocrat cruise ship for his maiden voyage. Since Rick is new, I will repost the itinerary for his first morning with the Defeatocrats. The ship will board in Berkeley on May Day.
5 AM- Sunrise Yoga Session led by Deepak Chopra. Come join us as we get in touch with our inner selves to a beautiful California sunrise while listening to melodic new age music.
6 AM– Community Showers led by Code Pink and Mothers Against the War. Don’t forget to bring your soap and deodorant, but remember that some of your fellow cruise matesmay be sensitive to perfumes, so no cologne.
7 AM– Vegan breakfast. Come feast on our delicious and fulfilling breakfast by the bay, which will feature all bran cereals with added wheat bulger, unflavored yogurt, and a variety of all natural, home grown fruits- and I don’t mean Harvey Fierstein.
8 AM– Prayer Session led by Al Sharpton and Cindy Sheehan
8:30 AM– Loyalty Oath, trading of black armbands. Duringthis brief session, new cruise members will pledge loyalty the the House and Senate leadership. At this point, you are no longer permitted to refer to Senator Reid as Senate Majority Leader, and must simply call him “Leader Reid” out of deference to our Soviet roots.
10 AM– Q and A Session led by Scott Ritter and Joe Wilson. This will be held in the Y. Arafat Memorial Meeting Room in the local CAIR chapter. In memory of Arafat, date palms and raisins will be served and all attendees will be asked to use a bucket when they need to go to the bathroom
11 AM– Group Therapy- Many notables will be present to help newer members adjust, including Bob Barr, Andrew Sullivan, Greg Drjerijan, and Pat Buchanan.
I think you will find the itinerary eases you in nicely, and remember, there are no fees or charges, because hating America is free.
demkat620
John,
You forgot to mention the Many Uses of Hemp demonstration by Woody Harrelson on the Lido Deck at noon.
Also, Rick asks:
Do ya really need anybody to answer that Rick?
Punchy
Hola Fruta has got to fit in there somewhere, Mr. Cole.
GI
You’re an idiot. Go enlist like we did and then talk shit. Punk
caustics
The same Rick Moran that wrote this?
Golly.
Tom Hilton
Even with the vegan food and the Deepak Chopra, it still sounds like more fun than a National Review cruise.
Tim F.
Who, John? John’s a veteran.
Jon H
“Loyalty Oath, trading of black armbands. Duringthis brief session, new cruise members will pledge loyalty the the Hose and Senate leadership.”
I could be wrong, but I think this page was stuck in the copier, and comes from a flyer distributed by the last Congress.
sidereal
Don’t forget the ‘How to brew a “medicinal” latte in a Hijab’ seminar in the Rachel Corrie lounge at 4:20.
Gold Star for Robot Boy
Man, it’s ugly to see his readers turn on him.
The One True Darrell
The Democrat Party will suffer another 30 years of political irrelevence due to their inability to resist the urge to enable the enemies of the US Military.
Enjoy your fun comrades, God knows you love to see the United States humiliated. But America will not forget your evil deeds.
demimondian
It is, isn’t it?
So, Rick…welcome to the initiation to the coalition of the shrilling. Now, ask yourself seriously if you really ever believed in the “mission in Iraq”, or if you felt that the President and the Republican party would never betray you by creating a mission which didn’t exist? Sooner or later, it’s going to hit you that they they did — that’s when you’ll get really angry. Then you’ll understand what John here has been saying for quite a while: that he didn’t leave the Republicans, but that the Party left him.
For my part, as a confirmed leftie, I’d been thrilled to see a few decades, or maybe a century or two, before the right came back from the dead, but, seeing as it isn’t the right that I despise, but the opportunists which have taken over the Republicans, I’d be content with a few heartfelt apologies and a re-evaluation of what conservatism should stand for.
demimondian
By the way, John — vegans avoid all dairy products, which include yogurt. A suitable substitute is slightly curdled unflavored soy milk.
Rome Again
What makes you think God doesn’t want to see the US humiliated? God enjoys hubris? I think not!
By the way, this is not an admission that I want to see the US humiliated, I don’t. I would like to see only those who are abusing the Constitution humiliated, not the entire country. The people themselves are not to blame for the hubris that exists, merely those who are in power and like the secrecy our government currently enjoys.
Gold Star for Robot Boy
What blows my mind is his readers’ thinking. It’s so… binary. There’s no sign they understand Moran IS a supporter but sees problems. As soon as he points out facts that differ from the party line, he’s a defeatist pussy like all the rest.
If you’re not with us, you’re against us, I suppose.
Bubblegum Tate
That itinerary is fucking hilarious, John.
demimondian
Truth is, though, that the ones who’re turning on him are, for the most part, not regular readers — they don’t understand where he’s coming from, or they’d be more thoughtful and less…I can’t even find a word for it. Triumphalist, maybe?
The regulars aren’t commenting right now, let’s see what starts coming out in the next few days.
demimondian
What I want to know is when I start getting my payoff from the leadership for my part in getting John to bring Tim on board, thus initiating his succumbing to the Dark Side.
Dave
Fucking hilarious John. Hopefully it will ease my pain as I consider my new commute.
Pb
Ditto–nice work.
Me neither–that’s not the Rick Moran I knew–the Rick Moran I knew would be yelling “traitor” over this right now–if a Democrat had said it. I guess some of his posters can’t make that subtle distinction.
srv
You forgot to remind him to bring his vegetable oil tailings – remember the cruise ship is powered only by bio-diesel and the dolphins can only tow it so far.
Is there an official 7-point plan for wingnut detox?
Pb
Yes.
demimondian
Now, now, now, Pb. We’re still trying to pull Rick fully into the light. There’ll be time enough to worry about consistency when he’s become our -lap- attack dog.
DougJ
It’s fun to mess with Rick sometimes, but he’s always been on the reasonable side for a conservative. This is a microcosm of what’s happening the Republican party — the 25 percenters are slowly alienating the other 75 percent of the country.
Soon the whole party will be Malkin and Inhofe types.
Who’s next to jump ship? Goldstein? Don Surber?
KC
I’m still laughing.
mrmobi
Yep, Rick, that’s us, defeatocrats. We wish nothing but the worst for the United States.
From what I’ve just read, you apparently are firmly in the “we’ve got the biggest dick,” or the “you broke it, you bought it” school of foreign policy. Henry Kissinger would be proud of you, if he hadn’t also given up on this clusterfuck.
Just what we need, a truly simplistic approach to a complex problem of our own making. How is what you propose any different from what Bush is proposing? That’s worked out well, huh?
As far as it being a bigger blunder to have a phased withdrawal than any of the Party of Torture’s previous blunders, you must think we haven’t sufficiently destroyed our military yet. I guess it will take a few more years, eh?
There’s a line in the movie “As Good as it Get” where the Jack Nicholsen character (an author) is asked how he writes women so well. He replies: “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.”
This works for conservatives as well, I think. Welcome, Rick.
Andrew
Jeff G. might jump into a schoolgirl outfit to do a L-O-S-E-R cheer, and I’m not sure that would be worse than Malkin.
jpe
Best post ever.
Will there be a mass same-sex marriage ceremony? Because I think I’m in love with you.
Wilfred
The frothier the soup, the more muddled the metaphor, or something like that:
Rick ‘Iran’ Moran has flown the coup.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I can see Surber going Libertarian, but not Democrat.
Goldstein belongs with the Malkins, Inhofes, and Brownbackers.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Good point. Bush might as well run for a second term in 2008, since his first term was actually Al Gore’s.
If we’d stopped this usurping son of a Demon back in 2000, I think it’s fair to say that quite a few things would be different right about now.
Walker
Does the author of this trackback really think this is the blog of Juan Cole?
AkaDad
1 PM– Discussion on how Democrats can more effectively hate and undermine our troops.
Tsulagi
Wow, I see someone has put a lot of thought into their dream itinerary. LOL
But you completely missed something. The mandatory change of uniform after boarding the reeducation ship so you can fully fit in.
First you must strip out your Brooks Brothers suit or surplus outlet bought BDU to the cheers of your shipmates. Your new
battlepeace dress will of course be made from 100% natural fiber, preferably hemp when available. Standard issue unisex Birks will show your solidarity and conformity. Also, don’t forget to pick up your white flag; you never want to miss an opportunity to surrender.Funny post.
grumpy realist
Having read Moran’s article, it sounds like a grudging realization that the average American isn’t going to continue handing a blank check to the Iraqis and a whine about the Average American’s unability to understand how These Things Take Time. Also that Bush should be giving way just enough so as to keep as many US soldiers in Iraq for as long as possible so as to give the Iraqis Yet One More Chance.
The fact that the Iraqi gov’t has absolutely no incentive to stop all this squabbling and Actually Start Governing as long as the US military is around keeping the lid on things seems to have remained totally unnoticed.
There’s also the fact that a government that doesn’t have enough strength to enforce its own authority is going to fail at some point or other. Because we’re running around acting as the enforcement arm, it’s no wonder that the Iraqi government is held in such contempt by the locals.
Dreggas
Actually we do, that’s the difference between us and the 28% (ie the rest of you).
/”\
|\./|
| |
| |
|>~
Tony J
Give them another Friedman-and-a-half’s worth of boiling on the hob to reduce the 28%ers down to a thick and gelatinous 20% of Kristianist gloop and we might yet see them calling for something like this. It’s not like they have any great respect for your Constitution to temper their loyalty to El Residente, is it?
And judging by some of the whack-job posts on the linked thread above, some of these people are crazy enough to claim that, since they’re “only giving the Defeatocrats what they’ve been asking for since 2000”, a refusal to let El Res’ stand would be terribly unfair and hypocritical, and yet further proof of the Great Liberal Conspiracy in action, etc, etc.
Nutjobs, the lot of them.
Dreggas
Bah, so much for posting formatted Ascii…
Davebo
Few issues have been as over hyped by blogs as Rick’s non-change of heart here.
Big deal, he admits mistakes, hints at cooperation across the aisle, and finally lands on “give it ten more years” with a slight tweak to the existing non plan.
As has been noted, I give him less than 72 hours before he’s back pointing out all the treasonous traiters in America.
tBone
Nice itinerary, but a little light on leisure time activities. I’d suggest some contests:
“Crossing the Border”
Compete to see who can smuggle the most illegal immigrants into the country. Winner receives a free recreational abortion!
“Islamofascist Fashion Show”
Model your favorite headscarf, burqha, or other terrorist couture*. Runners-up will receive coupons for tiedyed “I Hate the Troops” bumperstickers. Grand Prize Winner will receive an all-expenses-paid 3 day/2 nights trip to a terrorist training camp of your choosing.
*“Strutting your stuff” or “doing your little dance on the catwalk, the catwalk” punishable by death.
Blue Neponset
The best part about being a cheese eating surrender monkey…….the cheese. Try the roquefort Rick it is exquisite.
Davebo
Ahh, bleu cheese! How fitting.
Sri Ramkrishna
Aww.. blogs4brownback thinks you guys are all a pack of loons.
http://blogs4brownback.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/et-tu-rick/
Enjoy the backstabbing while it lasts. :)
sri
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Fuck those douchebags. They’ll be out of business by January 2008. That’s assuming Brownback even lasts that long.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
BTW, what is this?
Sri Ramkrishna
Looking at the
|>~
representation. I think it’s a commercial for viagra.
sri
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Thanks. That was obscure.
That’s really kinda gross, though. Then again, so is Brownback.
The Other Steve
I read Moron’s piece, and it’s basically a “This would have all worked except for you meddling Kids!” defense.
He’s blaming the whole misadventure in Iraq on Bush and the American people. Rather than acknowledging that the world doesn’t work like your teenage wet dream, and people aren’t going to listen to your paternistic over indulgences.
HyperIon
he has two followup posts. i agree with this:
but then he says:
so…we can’t win but we must not leave. i don’t see how a token withdrawal accomplishes much. does he mean that our soldiers should stop surging and resume the pre-surge strategy (whatever that was)?
i *think* maybe what Moran means is: I’m really tired of trying to make my brain believe the Admin BS on Iraq. But (like everyone else) I don’t know what would make the situation tolerable.