If open threads are outlawed, only outlaws will open threads.
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by Tim F| 104 Comments
This post is in: Open Threads
If open threads are outlawed, only outlaws will open threads.
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grumpy realist
What’s about the rumor that at least part of the the Iraqi government is going to take a 2 month vacation (July-August)? I heard there was talk about it, then the US leaned on them and they decided no. So now it’s back?
Boy, is that going to win the troops over to staying extra months and getting blown up with IEDs.
Undeniable Liberal
Bonus Flip-flopping wingnut quote of the day:
Douch-bag and Republic#nt presidential candidate Mitt Romney said catching Osama Bin Laden wasn’t worth the money it would cost. The reaction from the “liberal media” and Reich-Wing blogosphere? Chirping Crickets.
Chad N. Freude
It’s here.
Jake
Only a sick and immature person would get a chuckle out of this headline.
What’s in a name? Indeed.
Gold Star for Robot Boy
I appreciate this blog exists, because I don’t feel bad here when I label someone a motherfucker.
At another site, I called someone a jerk yet felt bad about it.
sdot
As a present to you all on the eve of “mission accomplished day!!” i just want to add that, “apparently” alberto gonzalas gave sampson and goodling permision to fire any one who didnt need senate confirmation. (this is according to murry wass and the national journal). (any spelling mistakes are due to me being some what drunk and posting with my cellphone)
Tsulagi
No rumor, that’s the plan. So far.
Actually, their new constitution calls for parliament breaks in the summer and winter. Last year they took a month break. July I believe. This year since everything continues to go so well, the plan is, or at least was until the hate America/Iraq MSM reported it, to double that.
They’ve learned democracy and how to run it at the feet of the masters. The efficiencies and true benefits of no-bid contracts to loyal contributors and friends. Making sure to employ family and friends in government, or even girlfriends like Wolfie. Purging those in ministries or the ISF who aren’t on message. And much, much more. This democracy must bring a tear to Cheney’s eye.
So like our vacation record setting Decider, the Iraqi government deserves a vacation as well for their great work mentioned above. Stay the Course.
ThymeZone
The Iraqi government doesn’t actually govern anything. They haven’t done anything governmental.
How do you take a vacation from complete inaction?
chopper
i dunno, ask george bush.
Pb
Check out the latest surrender monkey to join the seditious liberal traitorocracy…
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Start doing stuff?
ThymeZone
This goes into my scrapbook of the great, funny posts of all time around here.
Laughed out loud, still laughing.
ThymeZone
Buckely does it again. Years ago, he exposed the War on Drugs for the failure and fakery that it is.
Now he points out the our Alcoholic Emperor has no clothes.
Good for Buckley, he is a mensch.
ThymeZone
On the History Channel this morning, the Alexander Scrouby-narrated story of Nixon’s resignation.
Gosh, it sure is fun to listen to a shitty, lying president resign in disgrace. Those were truly the days.
“Our long national nightmare is over.” Boy, those were the days.
ThymeZone
Still think this is just about pet food?
It’s a pretty good bet you are eating food containing ingredients from China. Unless you are a dog, cat or pig, you might be more than a little interested in the iceberg under this story.
Try to eat modern food without consuming any of these products.
ThymeZone
Oh, and thanks to DKos for the pointer to the FDA notice.
Punchy
Couldn’t let Mr. Zone get 6 posts in a row.
ThymeZone
Just in case you needed a money quote.
ThymeZone
I think this might be your best work ever.
Paul L.
From the Pittsburgh paper:
Scratch a progressive, find a Stalinist. The hell with the 2nd, 4th and 5th amendments.
Disarm America? Here’s how
I wonder if any of you who are complaining that the Patriot Act and NSA wiretaps is destroying civil liberties will have any problem with this?
ThymeZone
That’s right, Paul, grotesque and baroque federal laws and activities that basically make swiss cheese of the constitution is the quivalent of a brainfart column from some obscure newspaper guy in Pennsylvania.
Glad you are right on top of these things. You really are a spoofer, right? Or some guy being paid by Move On to make righties look absurd?
Pb
Too late, Paul L. is here.
I do not think that word means what you think it means. However…
Scratch a neo-con, find a Trotskyist.
srv
Like, for sure. I call shenanigans. When the hell did a wacko like you start caring about the 4th and 5th? You can’t wait for local PD’s to search every long-hair on the street for pot and torture them when it isn’t found.
People won’t ever take a spoof like you seriously when you’re so disengenuous about everything you bring up.
demimondian
That’s a pretty healthy jackalope, Paul. Gotta give you that.
And extra credit for you elision of the fact that the author of the piece says that he’s simply showing that something _could_ be done, if we wanted to, and that the real question was whether or not we wanted to is sort of pointless. The fact remains that it is technically possible to reduce gun ownership dramatically and directly, although such a plan is unworkable.
Still, it’s a good stab from the Efficient Child Suicide Lobby. I’m impressed.
Meanwhile, I was wondering about those totipotent adult stem cell lines you were talking about?
Paul L.
And yet you comment on blog postings from obscure guys in Pennsylvania and West Virginia. More people read his nonsense then this blog.
As for Dan Simpson being some obscure newspaper guy in Pennsylvania.
Reminds me of Joe Wilson.
Paul L.
Actually, I am outraged by the following abuses by local police departments.
Kathryn Johnston Timeline
Duke Lacrosse Rape hoax
CDB
Almost 5,000 dead pets. I wonder how many humans on dialysis don’t need to be?
Pb
Oh, that Dan Simpson–why didn’t you say so?! Yes, he’s so well-known that he doesn’t even show up on list of the 40+ people with the last name Simpson on Wikipedia.
Does Dan Simpson’s wife secretly work for the CIA as well? If you get the administration to treasonously out her to the press too, then America might find out who Dan Simpson is.
Zifnab
Sounds like another fun day in Iraq to me. But they’re saying that Bagdad isn’t any more violent than Miami, so perhaps we do need door-to-door no-knock raids of residential real estate what with all those IEDs that keep going off on Florida streets.
Pb
Now there’s an injustice that I think we can all get behind. Bravo, Paul L.
Zifnab
I agree. Things have gotten really bad since Bush took office.
Paul L.
Wave Of Adult Stem Cell Cures, Nothing Yet From Dead Embryos
I was thinking more along the lines of a egotistical career state department twit.
jake
No way dude.
A mensch means a decent, responsible person. You need a Yiddish word for terrorist-coddling, tree-fondling, pot-smoking, Bible-burning, Birkenstock-wearing, patcholi-daubed hippy.
ThymeZone
You do have a sense of humor, I’ll give you that. You proceeded to post a blurb that establishes him as an obscure newpaper guy from Pennsylvania.
The Toledo Blade? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
You’re on your game now, buddy.
Faux News
Paul L. is no Darrell. That is for sure.
Zifnab
Yeah, what the heck was Bush 41 thinking when he brough Wilson into his administration?
I love watching Republicans eat their own.
srv
Uh, well, welcome to the club. What exactly are you doing about it besides spoofing about stupid stuff on BJ?
Fixed.
mrmobi
Have any problem with what, Paul? Where is your argument? Has anyone proposed confiscating all guns? Are you taking your meds?
Hot air from a minor columnist aside, this is your justification for unlimited spying? For the record, the Patriot Act (how I despise the naming) is a horrendous, anti-democratic piece of legislation, pushed through by a truly craven administration at a moment of great national weakness. The democrats who supported it are craven, too, but they’ve strapped on a pair lately, so I’m cutting them some slack. It should be repealed, entirely, immediately.
Don’t worry, Paul, we’re not coming to take your guns away. Your manhood is preserved.
ThymeZone
Checked out your StrataSphere blog, Paul.
You jokester, you. No such thing as global warming, and the Democrats are helping Al Qaeda …. today’s main themes?
Wow, how original.
Oh, and Scrutator had more comment action that this piece of shit you linked to.
Please try to step up your citations with material a little more challenging.
Pb
Fixed.
demimondian
Paul, you *are* on your game today!
I asked about your old favorite jackalope about how totipotent adult stem cells made embryonic stem cell research unnecessary. I hoping that you have an answer for that, since right now neither line of work is going anywhere — the embryonic work because it’s effectively blocked, and the adult work…well, I’d really like to understand that.
Dreggas
But TZ anything more challenging would be too challenging for the “special” kids like Paul L. and Darrell. They need to read obscure blogs by conspiracy nut bed wetters because anything else would cause their heads to explode. It’s kinda like vampires and sunlight…ya know…truth hurts.
Zifnab
It’s all dem Eye-Talian Imm-E-grants and their vote’n Democratic-Republican while dey worship big statues uh tha Virgin Marai lak hethans and tak ur jobs.
We need to build a fence between New York and Europe.
Tsulagi
It is that simple.
Dreggas
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME EVEN BARNEY HAS LEFT ME!!
Paul L.
And a former ambassador.
ThymeZone
So, you have no problem with the KKK, Neo-Nazis and the Black Panthers.
The reason being “sure they have outrageous views, but the are obscure and not many people listen to them”.
I do not believe you or the Democrats. Assault Weapons Ban renewal.
Pb
Because, of course, no one had guns when the assault weapons ban was in place. Paul L., weren’t you trying to tell us the other day that the Assault Weapons Ban would have done nothing to stop the shootings at Virginia Tech? I mean, even if you had been right about the clips, that is still a rather quick about-face for you to take. Not that I’m at all surprised, mind you.
Rome Again
Go over any slippery slopes much?
Zifnab
Don’t forget your Seventh Day Adventists, your Quebecian Seperetists, your Wiccans, your LARPers, your Log Cabin Republicans, your Quakers and your Amish, your Michigan Survivalists, your Sierra Club, your AARP, your Wigs, your Unitarians, and your Detriot Lions Season Ticketholders.
All a menace to society. Freak’n weird-ass minorities. Who the hell roots for the Lions?
Dreggas
Paul L,
Serious question. Why do you need an M-16 or AK-47? Are you just a bad shot?
Dreggas
[ snark ] you forgot the kinksters, of course we wrote the book on torture as a hobby. [ /snark ]
CDB
Dreggas–
Why shouldn’t he have one?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
If the criminals come into my home armed with that shit, I want an RPG to deter them with and/or take them out, should it come to that. If they have RPGs, I want it to be legal for me to put landmines in my front yard.
You know that if the Founding Fathers were around today, they’d want us all to have RPGs and IEDs. It’s pretty much the only way we could have a meaningful militia in this day and age.
I also think Delaware, D.C. and Rhode Island should be armed with ICBMs. That way, North Dakota will stop acting like they’re the only ones wearing the big britches in this loosely-allied confederation.
Rome Again
It seems to me a blow torch could be just as effective and I don’t need a license to carry one of those. Get innovative there dude.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
True dat. Nothing in the Constitution precludes trolls from being armed to the teeth.
Rome Again
SLower DE please, not New Castle County.
srv
He can’t be free otherwise.
Why shouldn’t he have a howitzer? What’s the difference?
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Or an aerosol can and a cigarette lighter. When prowlers come a-callin’ at your home at 3 in the morning, sometimes you have to make do with what you have.
Of course, if liberals ever succeed in taking away our guns and our cigarettes, they’ll come after lighters and matches next. Then we’ll be truly defenseless. I suppose you could rub two sticks together to produce a spark, but knowing Hillary Clinton, she’ll illegalize those next, too.
Dreggas
What’s the need? I mean unless you are a really shitty shot a rifle with a clip containing 6 rounds should suffice, especially since said rifle probably has better range, better accuracy and better stopping power.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Pea Patch Island. That’ll show those fucking New Jerseyans that Delaware means business!
If you shoot prowlers with a howitzer, before you know it the police are busting YOU for noise violations. It’s crazy, but it’s true. It’s like Soviet Russia in these blue states, I tell you!
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Than a howitzer? Somehow, I find that unlikely.
srv
Dreggas – we’ll never get it. You won’t ever understand why guys fondle kids or guns.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Oh, sorry. You meant than an AK. Well, if Billary ever legalizes gay marriage, and an insurgency campaign needs to be waged against the US government, there’s really no better weapon for the American Taliban to arm themselves with than AK-47s. You will concede that, I should hope.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
As usual, the Onion archives answer all questions.
Rome Again
OMG I forgot all about that place. Did a field trip there in sixth grade.
No, you can’t do that, too close to the refineries at Delaware City. Besides, it’s in New Castle County. I got an idea, how about Seaford?
Rome Again
OMG I forgot all about that place. Did a field trip there in sixth grade.
No, you can’t do that, too close to the refineries at Delaware City. Besides, it’s in New Castle County. I got an idea, how about Seaford?
Dreggas
I’ll concede that the AK-47 is far superior to most assault weapons as far as that goes but I will still take a 30.06 with a scope or any decent rifle over them any day. Why? Because if I can’t hit my target with the first round then I shouldn’t have a gun to begin with. Hell the M-16 only fires a 3 round burst because A)full auto jams far to easily and B) you need that many rounds to put down a target.
Don’t get me wrong I fully support the 2nd amendment I just tend to be…well…sane about supporting it.
Rome Again
Sorry for the double post, my hand got trigger happy at seeing the destruction of Seaford. ;)
Dreggas
and let’s not forget the remodelling costs to repair that half of your house you decimated in the process.
Zifnab
Yeah, that’s great for normal people, but what happens if cops burst into my house in the middle of a no-knock raid and I’ve got ten kilos of cocaine in my toilet? That shit will get me twenty years easy.
Taking out cops requires some pretty hefty firepower. That’s why I keep my .50 cal assault rifle pointed at the front door at all times. Armed with depleted uranium shells and a scope that can target out to over two miles, I can take out the liberal NYPD, lawyers and tow truck drivers trying to impound my car, neighborhood kids who get on my lawn, or Hillary Clinton if she ever comes within line of sight – and believe you me, I’ve been waiting.
Such weapons are vital to our society and our way of life. If I’m not armed with high caliber assault weapons, what happens when that crazy son of a bitch next door who cobbled together a jet pack and a tommy gun out of scrap metal tries to fly down my chimney and gun me down in my sleep? Only a claymore mine in the fireplace lets me sleep soundly at night.
And don’t even get my started on the UFO anal probes. I watch my X-Files. The 2nd Amendment gives me the right to be prepared for that sort of thing.
Zifnab
In Soviet Russia, noise violates you.
Rome Again
Put that joint down Zif, it’s making you paranoid!
Rome Again
You sure? I knew some people who worked at the Kremlin (this was about 12 years ago) and they said the walls have ears.
Dreggas
Dealing with noisy and annoying children (which I do where I live) and the thought of Hillary knocking at my door I will make an exception for the .50 caliber.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I think that can be arranged. I doubt Ruth Anne Minner has much love for those punks. She’d probably be happy to stockpile the state’s nuclear arsenal thereabouts.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
If the American Taliban can get ahold of some Kalashnikovs, they’ll be a formidable match, then.
CDB
If you are going to take something away from me, the proper question is not why I need it. The question should be why I am not allowed to have it. I have alot of stuff I don’t need, that doesn’t mean the goverment has a right to take it away. But when you are talking about takeing away or limiting one’s rights, the question of need is moot. It is my right.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
That’s a small price to pay for protecting your family against prowlers, door-to-door salesmen, and the random demons that your neighbor’s dog tends to bark at in the night, awakening him from his alcohol-induced slumber and inspiring him to fire artillery at everything within a 1000 yard radius of his domicile.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
That’s why I always wear my handy rubber WWSD? bracelet. I often find myself confronted by the question, “What would Stalin do?” Generally, I go for the opposite answer, but in certain types of office power struggles, it’s pretty clear that Stalin knew how to come out ahead.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
If the police can shut down meth labs with impunity, the terrorists have won.
Or something like that. Being a conservative and a Bush supporter in this day and age requires considerable ideological gymnastics.
mrmobi
Hey Zif, I’ll bet all your friends call first before dropping over, eh?
Zifnab
Are you kidding? That just gives me a chance to aim.
pharniel
and this is where most of ‘teh left’ and i diverge…call me pro death, but I’m in favour of the ‘castle’ and ‘stand your ground’ statutes. If someone tries to rob me or invade my home I feel I should have the right to end that threat to my existance in the most expedient and effective way possible. Most of the time that’s with a small to mid calibre round, other times an Oni-ka-Daki will do the trick.
BUt i’m also one of those crazy people that thinks your rights end where other’s begins, and when you attempt to violate thier rights you loose some of your own, in proportion.
anwyay, i fully support the right of individual americans to own howitzers if they can afford it. And i fully support the right of any american to lay waste to any fool stupid enough to use it not on thier own land.
srv
No, it isn’t. Your state has all the power they want to limit your gun rights, and they already do. Your right is wherever they draw the line, not something innate.
Funny the 2nd-Ammendment ‘libertarians’. If they were ever consistent about anything, their heads would explode.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
I think if we reach that point, the autonomy of the United States comes into question. Should Americans have the right to own tactical nuclear weapons, as well? I know of quite a few who could afford it (Bill Gates, Ross Perot, probably G.W. Bush), but I certainly don’t want those guys getting them.
Snark aside, I support the castle doctrine, too. I firmly believe that if someone endangers me in my home, I should have no legal duty to retreat and have the legal right to defend myself. I can’t see why I’d need a howitzer to do that, but I imagine some other weapons that would probably suffice against your average criminal intruder.
But at some point, the Second Amendment has to give way to the basic right of the State to continue to exist. The Constitution is not a suicide pact, etc. etc. Same reason you can’t publish how to make a nuclear weapon in your magazine*, you can’t own a nuke. Or a howitzer. National security.
* That Supreme Court decision came out pre-Internet. Nowadays, I’m sure anyone can find out how to make a nuke. I’m pretty sure that if you go looking, the FBI starts monitoring your phone calls, though.
ThymeZone
Call me when any of these assholes are running my country.
Until then, I have some other assholes (the ones you like) to worry about.
jg
I can think of two wars the US fought where we inexplicably have allowed the conquered country to continue to fly its flag. In both cases the conquered country is basically still around making noise even thought we run their territory. Should we have allowed the countries to keep their flags? Did it have anything to do with our inability to fully defeat that enemy? You decide.
The two wars are our current Iraq mess and our own Civil War. For some reason we still allow people (and state capitols) to fly a confederate flag. Shouldn’t we have put that movement to bed years ago? Now theres a flag I have no problem burning.
Scruffy McSnufflepuss
Frankly, I’m still baffled about what the damn thing even means. Is it for maintenance of a militia? Hunting/home defense rights? Does Scalia’s Originalist doctrine necessitate that all guns sold in America be identical to those sold in 1790? Did the Founding Fathers envision a weak central government with no standing army, thus necessitating each state have an armed citizenry for its own defense?
My guess is the lattermost rhetorical question is probably correct, but someone who’s studied the question more thoroughly could probably prove me wrong. The bottom line is, guns are popular. No one’s taking America’s guns away, just like nobody ever successfully took America’s booze away. There may be valid social arguments in favor of both measures, but you can’t take away something this popular.
Then again, most Americans would probably draw the line at legalizing the sale of howitzers and nukes, just as most Americans would probably draw the line at legalizing the sale of crack cocaine and heroin.
Make of all that what you will, but the national consensus isn’t likely to change without something very serious happening. (I’m thinking of a Virginia Tech-scale shooting every week, or something like that. If the country starts looking like Iraq, then people might start talking seriously about taking Americans’ guns away.)
mrmobi
Couple of good ideas here, Scruffy.
First, imagine an America where all guns were required to be one version or another of the Blunderbuss.
This 17th Century predecessor to the shotgun was good enough for Catherine the Great’s army, why not America? All other weapons would be confiscated and free Blunderbi(?) would be distributed to anyone who wanted one. Slow reload, inaccurate except at close range, the perfect solution to America’s gun violence problems. Gun battles would take a lot longer though.
Second, Scruffy, I think you are right, the amendment seems pretty straightforward to me. Anyone else here think the Founding Fathers envisioned the National Security State?
Third, yeah, seems to me the gun “debate” takes place in a reason-free zone. Democrats were smart to get the hell out of that argument.
Fourth, I argued here a couple weeks back that suitcase nukes should be allowed, it being the only way to be sure. Howitzers are a bitch to reload, though.
Tony J
Yeah, but Mitch Romney says ‘Battlefield Earth’ is his favourite novel, and with no available evidence to suggest that he’s recently undergone three days of ‘coercive interrogation’ by a Scientologist with a particularly cruel sense of humour, saying it while you’re running for president clearly shows the kind of suicidal bravery in the face of reality for which Republican politicians get Purple Stars these days.
I thought the days when anyone on the Right could surprise me with anything they said were long gone, but this just leaves me awestruck.
Wow.
jg
Why doesn’t Bush just sign the bill and then in his signing statement say that the timelines interfere with his duties as the unitary codpiece wearer and he will ignore them?
Zifnab
Because then he might not actually get his money. And he can’t afford to have the Dems call him on that bullshit.
Tax Analyst
…and that’s why Santa Claus doesn’t come to YOUR house anymore, Zif…
Tax Analyst
uh, I was gonna comment on this, but I think this is more in Dreggas’s realm…
Dreggas
{ Channelling Cartman }
Why is it that everything today has had to do with things going into or coming out of my ass?
mrmobi
I haven’t been following this closely, but as of last week, the FDA had released the name of 1 American company which had bought and used the poisoned Chinese grain and had the names of at least four others.
They did not release the names of the other companies, because, at the time, they weren’t sure whether they had actually used the purchased grain.
I thought the FDA was charged with “regulating food, dietary supplements, drugs, biological medical products, blood products, medical devices, radiation-emitting devices, veterinary products, and cosmetics in the United States.” Funny, I don’t see anywhere in that mission statement that they are supposed to protect American companies at the expense of American consumers.
I think what this boils down to is: if you are a corporation, you are a citizen, otherwise, go fuck yourself.
Republican governance in action.
jg
The key word above is regulation. Companies hate it so they fund think tanks which produce articles stating that regulation is unamerican. They fund candidates who run on the platform that regulation is unamerican and hurts the american consumer(?!!). They get elected and appoint people to head regulatory agencies that have no intention of actually enforcing regulations. People get sick from bad food, pets die, Rush blames Clinton.
Its funny yet at the same time mind bottlingly frustrating to hear people who reflexively vote republican bitch about the ways in which regular people are fucked over, either by bad food or predatory lending practices. To hear the same people who giggled at purple heart band aids complain that lenders are allowed to offer liar loans to people making minimum wage is maddening.
Dreggas
It gets even better now fly by night companies are opening that claim they will help people get out of foreclosure and demand X amount of money up front which is against the law (here in cal anyway) and they are nothing but a con because they don’t get people out of debt period.
Dreggas
And about that tainted wheat…guess how many chickens we ate here that ate that food…
Pb
Here’s a happy story for you, Tim: Julie MacDonald resigns…
I love the smell of oversight in the morning…
jg
And to ensure it they attack education. Certainly don’t want folks getting all smart and figuring out how to avoid getting screwed.
Dreggas
It’s getting attention though, was the focus of a News “Investigative report” that caught them trying to pull this crap on tape.
grumpy realist
OT, but it looks like they may have unravelled why contaminated pet food was so toxic:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/01/recall.riddle/index.html
(BTW, haven’t noticed a single peep out of Reason and other libertarian sites about this issue. No wonder no one takes libertarians seriously.)
grumpy realist
Oh, and speaking of “finding a nuke on the internet”, does anyone remember that one of the secret-fantastic-wooza-extra-important pieces of nuclear info that the Taliban had stashed away was an article titled “Instructions on Building an Atomic Bomb”?
Problem was, it was from the Journal of Irreproducible Results.