Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Jesus, Mary, & Joseph how is that election even close?

Let’s not be the monsters we hate.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

And now I have baud making fun of me. this day can’t get worse.

Reality always lies in wait for … Democrats.

Impressively dumb. Congratulations.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Yeah, with this crowd one never knows.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Never entrust democracy to any process that requires republicans to act in good faith.

Thanks to your bullshit, we are now under siege.

Black Jesus loves a paper trail.

The revolution will be supervised.

They’re not red states to be hated; they are voter suppression states to be fixed.

Republicans in disarray!

Why is it so hard for them to condemn hate?

“Squeaker” McCarthy

I really should read my own blog.

“More of this”, i said to the dog.

if you can’t see it, then you are useless in the fight to stop it.

A thin legal pretext to veneer over their personal religious and political desires

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

“Everybody’s entitled to be an idiot.”

Peak wingnut was a lie.

You are here: Home / Humorous / Great Moments In Criminality

Great Moments In Criminality

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With all due respect to the victims, this is almost worth the jail time.

“House being demolished,” read the posting on March 24. “Come and take whatever you want, nothing is off limits. Items outside and garage will be open for access into house. Please help yourself to anything on property at 1202 East 64th Street. Tacoma.”

Within a week, the unoccupied house at that address in Tacoma, Wash., had been picked clean. Living room window? Gone. Water heater? Gone. Kitchen sink? Naturally.

And the homeowner? Laurie Raye was stunned.

Now the matter has moved from Craigslist to Superior Court, where Ms. Ray’s niece, Nichole Marie Blackwell, 28, is to appear next week to face charges of burglary, malicious mischief and criminal impersonation.

Now figure out why I don’t tell any of you mooks where I live.

Reader Interactions

33Comments

  1. 1.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    You bastards all know where I live. Luckily, the -80 degree temperatures and the shotgun-toting elven army save me from pranksters on Craigslist.

    Ho ho ho, bitches! Come get my toys!

  6. 6.

    Rome Again

    John, if you assume I’m a mook, you would be wrong. I don’t take things from others without permission, I give out my own stuff instead. I’ve lost just about everything I’ve owned six nope, sorry, make that seven times over, and never asked for anything that wasn’t mine in return. Not even alimony or child support.

    I’m that rare form of female, the kind who doesn’t take and take and take (and shop and shop and shop). How dare you assume I’m something I’m not. I take exception to such language.

  7. 7.

    Rome Again

    OMG, I didn’t realize it was Tim, sorry… make that last post addressed to Tim instead.

    You’re back? You survived whatever it was that John thought killed you?

  8. 8.

    CaseyL

    You’re back? You survived whatever it was that John thought killed you?

    He, ah, had some new windows he needed to install :D

  10. 10.

    incontrolados

    But are you prettier than Krista?

    Prolly not, but just sayin. Kista comments on Greenwald. Major ratings for her.

    As far as knowing where you are — I got these pups that love me and hate any hand that pierces the envelope that is our house and yard.

    I double dare any who can 1) firgure out who I am; and 2) have the nads to show up.

  12. 12.

    jake

    Man, that is fairly fucking unpleasant. There is either one hell of a back story to all of this or the niece is a world-class dumbarse.

    John, if you assume I’m a mook, you would be wrong. I don’t take things from others without permission, I give out my own stuff instead.

    A mooch takes things. A mook is an unpleasant person. So you can be a mook without mooching. [/word geeking]

  13. 13.

    Rome Again

    A mooch takes things. A mook is an unpleasant person. So you can be a mook without mooching. [/word geeking]

    Jake, you’ll have to go to Tim for the reason why he didn’t say mooch, he’s the one who linked mooks and this story, not I. I merely followed suit (and yes, I was aware of the difference, but I entertained his language because I don’t feel its right to go around correcting people over word choices).

  14. 14.

    Rome Again

    But are you prettier than Krista?

    Probably not, but, srv, I have to ask, why does it matter? First of all, it’s hightly doubtful you’ll ever meet me unless someone gets the strange notion to do a Balloon-Juice get-together and you and I both show up (fat chance of any of that happening)… secondly, I’m not available and never meant my post to be regarded as any sort of indication that I was… third and finally, you wouldn’t have had a chance even if I wasn’t taken! Sorry, but them’s the breaks. I’m sure you understand. ;)

  16. 16.

    Tim F.

    Jake, you’ll have to go to Tim for the reason why he didn’t say mooch

    Yeesh. The mooch is the person who shows up and takes stuff. The mook put up the ad. When writing I rarely choose the wrong word.

    Further, I’m not going to waste time defending an inoffensive line in a post labeled ‘humor.’

  17. 17.

    Larry

    With all due respect to the victims, this is almost worth the jail time.

    Uh, as cute as it probably felt to write that, do you really mean to be promoting malicious criminal behavior that destroys peoples’ homes?

    With all due respect, of course.

  18. 18.

    Rome Again

    Damn. That’s harsh!

    Perhaps, but I was just being honest. I find nothing titillating personally about srv. That’s not to say srv can’t be titillating (perhaps he can, he just that he doesn’t affect me in that way).

    To each his/her own, and all that good stuff, ya know?

  19. 19.

    RSA

    For those who enjoy descriptions of creative mischief/crime, I’ll recommend the book Getting Even, by “George Hayduke”, a how-to book in the vein of the linked story. For entertainment purposes only.

  21. 21.

    canuckistani

    Awww, c’mon Tim, I just want your bbq and your washer and dryer, if they’re better than mine.

  22. 22.

    srv

    perhaps he can, he just that he doesn’t affect me in that way

    You can just think of me as a brother. I got that alot when I was a kid.

    For those who enjoy descriptions of creative mischief/crime, I’ll recommend the book Getting Even, by “George Hayduke”

    Hayduke Lives.

    Which reminds me of a better title a Marist Brother gave me when I was having problems with someone in HS: Don’t Get Even, Get Ahead.

    For entertainment purposes only.

    Oh, we got alot of entertainment when a local evangelical leader started using wireless mics… Let’s just say he had a little trouble with Satan being on the same frequency.

    I just want your bbq and your washer and dryer, if they’re better than mine

    I want the cache of Unibroue and whatever else he’s holding back from us.

  23. 23.

    Andrew

    You can just think of me as a brother.

    I think the cingular dropped call ad between the guy and girl he just met is the most brilliantly acted clip I have seen in years.

  24. 24.

    chopper

    i take exception to being called a moop. they invaded Spain in the 8th century, i had nothing to do with that.

  25. 25.

    Rome Again

    Yeesh. The mooch is the person who shows up and takes stuff. The mook put up the ad. When writing I rarely choose the wrong word.

    Further, I’m not going to waste time defending an inoffensive line in a post labeled ‘humor.’

    I feel like I just got goaded into a game of “Let’s you and him fight” that I never had any intention of playing. As I said earlier, your choice of words wasn’t any big deal to me and it still isn’t. So why are you quoting me? Quote the person who thought it was a big deal.

  26. 26.

    Rome Again

    You can just think of me as a brother. I got that alot when I was a kid.

    I rarely think of you at all. I got me some brothers already, I don’t have any openings for more at the moment, sorry.

    I sort of liked the way it was when you were just a poster on BJ and I wasn’t expected to think of you as anything else.

  27. 27.

    mattski

    Tim F.
    123 Fake Street
    Fake City, AZ 55555

    Feel free to write him. or call him at 555-867-5309

  28. 28.

    Krista

    Kista comments on Greenwald. Major ratings for her.

    You must be talking about a different Krista, then. Not that Greenwald isn’t delightful and all, but as far as I’m aware, I’ve never commented there.

  29. 29.

    Krista

    Kista comments on Greenwald. Major ratings for her.

    You must be talking about a different Krista, then. Not that Greenwald isn’t delightful and all, but as far as I’m aware, I’ve never commented there.

  30. 30.

    Krista

    Shit, sorry for the double post. I’m on my mom’s computer, and it’s slower than a turtle walking uphill on a pane of glass, so I wound up pressing “Submit Comment” twice in my impatience.

  31. 31.

    Gold Star for Robot Boy

    or call him at 555-867-5309

    Eh, some girl named Jenny keeps answering.

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