Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Give the craziest people you know everything they want and hope they don’t ask for more? Great plan.

Some judge needs to shut this circus down soon.

Putin must be throwing ketchup at the walls.

It’s the corruption, stupid.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Optimism opens the door to great things.

The republican caucus is already covering themselves with something, and it’s not glory.

“Squeaker” McCarthy

Republicans seem to think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before.

Today’s GOP: why go just far enough when too far is right there?

No offense, but this thread hasn’t been about you for quite a while.

Let me eat cake. The rest of you could stand to lose some weight, frankly.

Good lord, these people are nuts.

Nancy smash is sick of your bullshit.

Usually wrong but never in doubt

You don’t get rid of your umbrella while it’s still raining.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

Nothing worth doing is easy.

When I decide to be condescending, you won’t have to dream up a fantasy about it.

… riddled with inexplicable and elementary errors of law and fact

That’s my take and I am available for criticism at this time.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

Second rate reporter says what?

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Open Thread

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Despite the fact that this administration, by rejecting outright ANY compromsie on global warming (see below), seems intent on being wrong on EVERY issue they touched during their eight year reign (you don’t have to agrre regarding global warming, but rejecting any discussion or efforts to even treat the issue serioously is another matter), I have nothing to write about.

Reader Interactions

65Comments

  3. 3.

    jg

    Global warming is just another moonbat conspiracy designed to introduce more regulation on industry.

  5. 5.

    DarkSyde

    Their positoin is asinine for reasons beyond climate change. Almost every foriegn policy headache I can think of derives directly or indirectly from our energy policy, or rather lack thereof.

  6. 6.

    Paul L.

    I am outraged over the following from the Bush administration and the Reich-wing:

    The swiftboating of Planned Parenthood and Valerie Plame Wilson.
    Due to the treatment of prisoner at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib, the US solders captured by al-Qaida last week will be subjected to standing on a box with wires connected to their body, nude human pyramids, woman pointing and laughing at their genitals, barking dogs and waterboating.

  7. 7.

    RSA

    Due to the treatment of prisoner at Gitmo and Abu Ghraib, the US solders captured by al-Qaida last week will be subjected to standing on a box with wires connected to their body, nude human pyramids, woman pointing and laughing at their genitals, barking dogs and waterboating.

    This isn’t half as funny as what’s on the front page of CNN:

    The body of one of the three missing soldiers was found Wednesday, floating in the Euphrates River.

    I love how right-wingers support the troops.

  8. 8.

    Joe1347

    So has the Bush Admin done ANYTHING in the past 6 years that is worthy of praise?

    I originally thought that the ‘Presidents’ Hydrogen Fuel initiative announced during the 2003 State of the Union address was at least one action worthy of praise – until I found out that that Hydrogen Fuel initiative was likely done simply (and only) to provide political cover for California and other states to completely kill off emerging zero emission electic car programs.

  9. 9.

    Andrew

    Paul L. masturbates furiously to the every report of a dead American.

    I mean, Occam’s Razor and all, that would pretty much explain everything.

  10. 10.

    incontrolados

    Blame liberalism. That’s what callers into radio talk shows say and they get the hmmm yes every time. Unless it is a so called liberal. Then they get bombastic reasoning of why it is all the liberals’ fault.

    sigh

  11. 11.

    incontrolados

    Memorial Day?

    On wingnut radio, we are chided for believing it is the soldier, not the journalist who protects our freedoms. It is the soldier, not the poet who gives us our freedom of speech.

    Then the looped message splits an infinitive or makes some grammatical error.

    My dad hated the military. He did his time and was out.

  13. 13.

    caustics

    The body of one of the three missing soldiers was found Wednesday, floating in the Euphrates River.

    I love how right-wingers support the troops.

    As a moderator at Redstate once put it, “eggs and omlets and all that”. They all just magically respawn 10,000 miles away with different names.

    So we don’t have to fight them here.

  15. 15.

    Detroit Dan

    Well spoken, John. Bush says that we should find him credible because he reads the intelligence. The same day a report is released saying that the pre-war intelligence predicted most of the problems we have experienced in Iraq. Meanwhile, we all know about the intelligence briefing he received about “Bin Laden determined to strike inside U.S.”. Oy…

  16. 16.

    Eural

    OK, I know I’m getting in late on the party but just watched “Casino Royale” and thought what a kick-ass Bond flick. Actually had real character development and some great action sequences. Very refreshing!

  17. 17.

    Zifnab

    On Memorial Day, Americans pause with solemn gratitude and deep respect for all our fallen service men and women who have given their lives for our country and our freedom.

    Oh bullshit. Unless you call holding matress sales and barbaques “paus[ing] with solemn gratitude adn deep respect”, Americans are doing no such thing.

    No one seems to know how to support the troops in ways that don’t involve shoveling money into a charity with a pretty name. Community outreach is dead. Memorial Day is nothing more than “National Jerk Off To Your Country” Day, and an excuse not to show up for work.

    That said, of all the Americans who are showing gratitude towards their servicemen and women, the least of them is the man occupying the Oval Office. So Bush can, as always, take his speech and shove it.

  18. 18.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    On Memorial Day, Americans pause with solemn gratitude and deep respect for all our fallen service men and women who have given their lives for our country and our freedom.

    Indeed.

    The Brownback people took this opportunity to call for the death penalty for spammers:

    I have no idea what any of it means. What I do know is that someone deserves to die over this.

    With comedy like this, why bother spending $20 going to the movies anymore? I’m rooting for Brownback to win the nomination. We need to keep this humor train running, people!

  19. 19.

    Paul L.

    Andrew Says:
    Paul L. masturbates furiously to the every report of a dead American.
    I mean, Occam’s Razor and all, that would pretty much explain everything.

    Unlike the left/media, I do not celebrate the 500,1000,1500… dead milestones.
    How come no one is definding Planned Parenthood and Valerie Plame Wilson for being liars?

  20. 20.

    demimondian

    Um, Paul? Perhaps because the “investigator” is threatened with a lawsuit for intimidation, and because Kit Bond’s “interpretation” is not borne out by other documents?

    Look, man, we’re vile and rotten here, but even we don’t beat up on dying jackalopes.

  21. 21.

    RSA

    Once we agree on the basics, that Scooter Libby et al. outed a covert CIA agent, it’s perfectly reasonable to talk about the details. Otherwise it’s like talking about the distance between the Earth and the Sun with someone who believes the Earth is flat.

  22. 22.

    Rome Again

    Here’s at least one thing I can agree with George Bush on, on this Memorial Day weekend.

    You praise the idea that he picked up on something any blazing moron would know? I guess there’s something to be said for that. I’m not sure what it is yet, but give me some time and I’ll try to think of it.

  24. 24.

    BIRDZILLA

    There is no global warming its just a attempt by the enviromental watermellons to reduce america to a miserble third world existence and have us all paying more rediclous taxes AL GORE is a fruad and liar

  25. 25.

    RSA

    its just…enviromental watermellons…miserble…rediclous…fruad

    Dude, you need to debug your Eliza patterns; they’re spitting out incomprehensible nonsense.

  26. 26.

    Hyperion

    BIRDZILLA Says:

    There is no global warming its just a attempt by the enviromental watermellons

    mmmmmn…prime Birdzilla!

  27. 27.

    Punchy

    Despite the fact that this administration, by rejecting outright ANY compromsie on global warming (see below), seems intent on being wrong on EVERY issue they touched during their eight year reign (you don’t have to agrre regarding global warming, but rejecting any discussion or efforts to even treat the issue serioously is another matter), I have nothing to write about.

    John, SpellCheck is your FRIEND.

  28. 28.

    demimondian

    Nah, RSA — Birdzilla isn’t Eliza-based. That’s clearly Ractor-based behavior.

  33. 33.

    louisms

    On Memorial Day, Americans pause with solemn gratitude and deep respect for all our fallen service men and women who have given their lives for our country and our freedom.

    And for all those who gave their lives for oil, corporate profits, and the naive, irresponsible neocon pipedreams of this administration, don’t forget them. Their sacrifice is no less honorable, and, indeed, even more tragic, for the ignoble motivations behind the war in which they died.

  35. 35.

    jake

    no one in this country but Dick Cheney and his boys think going to war with Iran is such a grand idea, but that isn’t stopping the neocons from trying to pull it off anyway.

    Hey, if those fat bastards want to strap on some camo, 100 lbs of gear and storm into Iran they are more than welcome, provided there is film footage afterwards.

    Clemons informs us that the plan is to have the Israelis mount the first strike, after which the Iranians will retaliate against U.S. troops in Iraq – and the fight will be on.

    I call bullshit (“The Joos are out to get us” flavour). For such a plan to work:

    a. The entire population of Israel must suddenly become dumber than the 28%s and,

    b. G. Bush would have to be P.M. of Iran at the time.

    Retaliating against people who aren’t at all involved in the intital attack is an American tactic. The Israelis know this (and have never, to my knowledge kicked anyone’s arse unless they start it), Iran knows this, who the hell would be dumb enough to play this game?

  38. 38.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Of course, you need two years of Birdzilla to really get him.

    I wish I had two years of him compiled, I’d publish it and make a fortune.

    (I’m assuming his insightful commentary is in the public domain, mind you.)

    Maybe there should be a BIRDZILLA character on the Wire. Someone who stands on street corners and yells anti-Clinton nonsense at inappropriate times. Couldn’t hurt!

  39. 39.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    Look, man, we’re vile and rotten here, but even we don’t beat up on dying jackalopes.

    Clinton used to have sex with them. That’s why he had to be impeached. (Yes, I’m talking about Vince Foster…)

    George Bush promised to restore integrity to the White House, and he has. To date, he had not yet had sex with a single one of his jackalopes. I wish we could run him for a third term. We wouldn’t have to elect him then, either.

  40. 40.

    mrmobi

    Wow, DaveMon. I checked out that link about the 1,000 lb wild hog. Turns out it was killed by an 11 year old.

    Jamison, who killed his first deer at age 5, was hunting with father Mike Stone and two guides in east Alabama on May 3 when he bagged Monster Pig. He said he shot the huge animal eight times with a .50-caliber revolver and chased it for three hours through hilly woods before finishing it off with a point-blank shot.

    This kind of shit makes me proud to be an American. This kid could have been at home learning how to be a Demislamunofascist, but no, he’s out there stalking and killing wild animals. I’ve got to think this family is somehow related to BIRDZILLA.

    The lesson here? Do not go to Alabama unless heavily armed, and don’t go at all if you are a Porcine-American. They love to sink they teefus into that wild ham!

  41. 41.

    mrmobi

    barking dogs and waterboating.

    Paul L., always in the spirit of the holiday weekend.

  42. 42.

    mrmobi

    No one seems to know how to support the troops in ways that don’t involve shoveling money into a charity with a pretty name. Community outreach is dead. Memorial Day is nothing more than “National Jerk Off To Your Country” Day, and an excuse not to show up for work.

    Color me cynical, but I think you’re right on the mark there, Zif.

    If there was a military draft in this country, we’d have been out of Iraq last month.

  43. 43.

    caustics

    If there was a military draft in this country, we’d have been out of Iraq last month.

    I agree. Imagine the epic increase in bum knees and pilonidal cysts at places like Regent University once getting your legs blown off was a bit more than a voluntary career option that went off-message.

  44. 44.

    Punchy

    a .50-caliber revolver

    Is this correct? They make a handgun that’s fity-cal? Jesus C….

  45. 45.

    The Other Steve

    Is this correct? They make a handgun that’s fity-cal? Jesus C….

    Yeah, they used to use it to hunt buffalo, and it’s only legal in two states. This ain’t one of them.

  46. 46.

    The Other Steve

    Nah, RSA —Birdzilla isn’t Eliza-based. That’s clearly Ractor-based behavior.

    Please go on.

  47. 47.

    ttk

    Bush should be impeached over global warming. it’s criminal to ignore something that’s going to kill millions of people.

  48. 48.

    ttk

    Bush should be impeached over global warming. it’s criminal to ignore something that’s going to kill millions of people.

  49. 49.

    ttk

    Bush should be impeached over global warming. it’s criminal to ignore something that’s going to kill millions of people.

  50. 50.

    craigie

    seems intent on being wrong on EVERY issue they touched during their eight year reign

    When your starting position on every issue is “Liberals are poopyheads,” it’s hard to make much sense.

  51. 51.

    Zifnab

    Retaliating against people who aren’t at all involved in the intital attack is an American tactic. The Israelis know this (and have never, to my knowledge kicked anyone’s arse unless they start it), Iran knows this, who the hell would be dumb enough to play this game?

    Lebanon much?

    It’s not like the Lukid party isn’t already batshit insane. And when your Prime Minister is polling in the single digits, picking a fight with your enemy two nations down just to win support with the Clusterfuck-in-Chief of the USA is going to hurt you in the polls.

  52. 52.

    jake

    we’d have been out of Iraq last month.

    We would’ve gone in? Maybe for the intial SHOCKNAW (TM), but once things got messy, Congratulations Iraq, you are a shiny beacon of freedomndemorcacy (C) ^2003^, buh-bye!

    Lebanon much?

    Who in Iran will play Hezbollah? Maybe Cheney will tell Israel that Iran has been talking about it’s momma. And that still leaves the problem of distance, finding enough soldiers to fight your dandy new pony quest and the other countries in the region (cough Saudi Arabia cough!) sitting quietly while all this goes on. Not going to happen.

  53. 53.

    ConservativelyLiberal

    History time! Below is an excerpt from a Newsweek article titled “Army Study of Marihuana Smokers Points to Better Ways of Treatment“, published in their Medicine section on January 15th, 1945:

    The Reefer Men: Of the experimental group 34 were Negroes and one was white. They were referred to the hospital’s neuropsychiatric service because of (1) chronic physical complaints, chiefly headaches; (2) intoxication, with uncontrolled behavior or a state of near stupor; (3) open demands to superior officers that they be given passes to go out for marihuana, (4) violence or self-mutilation (mainly wrist-slashing) in the guard house.

    As a group, soldiers had civilian histories packed with adverse family, social, and economic factors. Only five had graduated from high school. For 24 there were records of arrests and sentences to reform schools and jails. The offenses ranged from assault to burglary, drunkeness, vagrancy, and carrying concealed weapons.

    Of 32 subjects seventeen were single and fifteen were married. Ten of the fifteen men were either separated or divorced. In most cases, sexual activity began as early as 13 or 14 years.

    Many of the soldiers had never worked at all. Some were supported by their women friends and some by gambling or drug peddling. One had twenty jobs in three years. Another, who had never held a job longer than a month, said: “I ain’t for working.”

    The Marihuana Personality: Unlike alcoholics, these marihuana users showed no sense of guilt or remorse. They were indifferent to opinion, and they frequently tried to persuade others that they and other “squares” (non-users) ought to try the marihuana because they were missing “the greatest thing in life.”

    A great many of them attempted to form a compensatory image of themselves as superior people. “I could be a general like MacArthur.” one asserted. “He looks smooth – like he’s high all the time.”

    Toward women their attitude combined indifference with extreme promiscuity. Most of them said that they would take marihuana instead of girls if they had to make a choice. On the other hand, some spoke glowingly of “reefer pads” (marihuana dens) and the “freakish women” there – women who, with or without drugs, were uninhibited sexually. Some said frankly that marihuana increased their feeling of sexual potency. “After you smoke it” said one, “you feel that no woman can resist you.”

    In civilian life the men were unable to stand frustration, deprivation or authority. Their response to such situations was “explosive aggression.” Even though some began their Army service with attempts to be good soldiers, the old patterns reasserted themselves. Either their “smoking” increased or they ran into trouble with their superiors.

    Bad Soldiers: In addition to inadequate performance, there was the problem of discipline in the marihuana group. Many could not stand to be reprimanded.

    Commanding officers’ reports included these quotes: “A potentially dangerous man, under constant observation for untoward behavior.” “It is difficult to assign him to a duty which he will fulfill without continued prodding.”

    The Way Out: In the hospital these men revealed “the usual behavior of the outlaw who rejects and rebels against the authority from which he really wants to love and of which he longs to be a part.”

    After a few weeks of sedatives, certain freedoms, and sympathetic encouragement, “hostility diminished and they showed evidence of better rapport.” They were still not able or willing to do any useful work in the wards. But there was sufficent change in their attitude to make it seem reasonable that a patient, long-term therapeutic program carried out under favorable conditions might help to rehabilitate the majority of the group.

    How to deal with this problem stumped Army officials. Only rarely does a marihuana addict develop a chronic psychotic state calling for medical discharge. Only a few behave so aggressively that they are court-martialed and sentenced to long confinement where a rehabilitation program might have good effect.

    Because marihuana smokers interfere with Army efficency, separation from the service eventually becomes necessary. But this solution, according to the March Field doctors (Note: referring to Army Air Forces Regional Station Hospital in March Field, California), “merely releases the addict to civilian life where he can continue to have his difficulties. Also, he tends to foster the use of marihuana by others.”

    Instead of discharge the officers conducting the March Field survey recommend the creation of special government institutions to which these men can be committed. “Such therapy must include not only psychotherapy, they concluded, “but the provisions of a social situation, a community in which the individualis given the opportunity to take his place as a productive normal member of society. Only after succeeding in such a situation should he be discharged from custody.”

    Nice to know that the laws that we are dealing with today (relating to marijuana use) were based on such in-depth, race neutral, non-biased studies as this…

  54. 54.

    Krista

    Zombie Santa Claus Says:

    Of course, you need two years of Birdzilla to really get him.

    I wish I had two years of him compiled, I’d publish it and make a fortune.

    ZSC: Do a Google search for this:

    “birdzilla says:” site:balloon-juice.com

    It will astound and amaze you…

  55. 55.

    jake

    Unlike alcoholics, these marihuana users showed no sense of guilt or remorse.

    See? GB43 is an alcoholic, he make have inhaled enough snow to cover the Alps, but he doesn’t smoke pot. Therefore any suggestions that he has no conscience stem from liberal-initiated smear campaigns!

  56. 56.

    Zombie Santa Claus

    “birdzilla says:” site:balloon-juice.com

    Wow. That is truly a thing of beauty.

    Thank you, Krista.

    Now it’s really just about a race to the publisher’s house for all of us.

  58. 58.

    Tim F.

    George Bush promised to restore integrity to the White House, and he has. To date, he had not yet had sex with a single one of his jackalopes.

    9/11.

  61. 61.

    Chad N. Freude

    I’ved been gone for a while, and I come back to find that Birdzilla is being compared to Eliza Doolittle?

    (In case the reference was to an antique computer program — Never mind!)

  62. 62.

    grumpy realist

    I was just about to point to the AP news article on Wolfie myself.

    To use Atrios’s vernacular, what a Whiny-Assed-Titty Baby.

    [imagine jpeg of World’s Smallest Violin inserted here.]

  64. 64.

    RSA

    I’ved been gone for a while, and I come back to find that Birdzilla is being compared to Eliza Doolittle?

    Well, if comparisons are transitive. . . But demimondian is right, that Racter is a better comparison. Random chatter.

  65. 65.

    jake

    Under Iranian law, the distinction between someone being accused and charged is less clear than in the United States and many Western countries, especially in matters of national security. Security courts have wide latitude, with the option of dropping the proceedings at any time or even holding trials in secret.

    We have met the enemy … and decided to copy some of their playbook.

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