Our long national nightmare is over, and Paris Hilton has broken free from the shackles of incarceration and has been released from prison after serving three days for a “medical issue.” Al Sharpton, sadly, serves as the voice of sanity:
“Though I have nothing but empathy for Ms. Hilton whom I have met and appeared with on Saturday Night Live the night I hosted in 2003, this early release gives all of the appearances of economic and racial favoritism that is constantly cited by poor people and people of color. There are any number of cases of people who handle being incarcerated badly and even have health conditions that are not released.”
Officially, she is being released for a medical condition, but they might as well call it good behavior. After all, let’s face it- Paris Hilton sober and not partaking of the penis for three days IS good behavior for her.
I am just sad that all of my secret work on my FREE PARIS website will go unappreciated, as I had intended to release it during week two of the vigil. On the upside, though, we were spared the embarassing national spectacle of Lindsey Lohan, Kim Kardashian, and the Girls Next Door leading protests through Hollywood carrying “No Justice, No Peace” placards.