Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

This year has been the longest three days of putin’s life.

Following reporting rules is only for the little people, apparently.

Bark louder, little dog.

🎶 Those boots were made for mockin’ 🎵

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

T R E 4 5 O N

They think we are photo bombing their nice little lives.

After roe, women are no longer free.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

This blog will pay for itself.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

Damn right I heard that as a threat.

The arc of history bends toward the same old fuckery.

It’s easy to sit in safety and prescribe what other people should be doing.

There are consequences to being an arrogant, sullen prick.

Republicans: slavery is when you own me. freedom is when I own you.

Schmidt just says fuck it, opens a tea shop.

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

“I never thought they’d lock HIM up,” sobbed a distraught member of the Lock Her Up Party.

Accused of treason; bitches about the ratings. I am in awe.

They traffic in fear. it is their only currency. if we are fearful, they are winning.

A lot of Dems talk about what the media tells them to talk about. Not helpful.

I see no possible difficulties whatsoever with this fool-proof plan.

The willow is too close to the house.

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Reader Interactions

73Comments

  6. 6.

    Jake

    Next Ann Nuthouse will explain that women who eat cucumbers, carrots, hot dogs and bananas should be stoned and why only adults should be allowed to purchase melons.

    I’m beginning to sense a pattern with these last several posts . . .

    John has changed his voter reg from R to I?

  7. 7.

    The Other Steve

    Ann Althouse is an interesting representative of the modern Republican party.

    I remember back in 1980’s, the big argument in the Republican party was whether women should be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, or ironing their mans shirts.

    Now we get this.

  8. 8.

    Davebo

    Cut her some slack.

    It’s not easy going thru life with a crunchy labia that’s been permanently shaped into a circle.

    Yes yes, I used the same line commenting at ObiWi, and it’s still troubling….

  10. 10.

    Zifnab

    Oh, yes, I know that Hillary supplying carrots is supposed to remind that Hillary will provide us with health care, that she’s “looking out for” us, but come on, they’re carrots! Everyone knows carrots are phallic symbols. But they’re cut up into little carrot sticks, you say? Just listen to yourself! I’m not going to point out everything.

    HAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit! On any other site I would swear to God that this was the world’s best spoof. But, once again, wingnuts raise the bar into the stratosphere for what constitutes passable conservative commentary.

    This is just… epic. I mean, I don’t know what else to call it.

  11. 11.

    Tsulagi

    Let’s see, so far we have The Law and Order (not), The Ignorance, The Confused, and now The Deranged in rapid order. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of their party this morning.

    Now Ann Althouse. That woman is batshit loony. I’m a little curious as to what symbolism she attaches to the “O” vagina being battered and deep fried. No doubt that also would be known to Anne as well as to all bloggers.

    So in Ann’s clear-eyed analysis a bowl of short, thin baby carrots is really a bowl of little penises? Oookaay. Someone is clearly suffering from CPE, Clinton Penis Envy. And it ain’t the deep fried Os dreaming of plump little carrot sticks in Ann’s World; they got more intelligence.

  12. 12.

    Keith

    I see pictures of Ann Althouse, and I cannot help but be reminded that she is another vagina symbol, but more along the lines of The Word That Shall Not Be Uttered In The Presence Of Women.

  13. 13.

    Chris

    I’d be so proud if my son went to UW Law School. Think of the rhetorical and analytical skills on display here.

    Ah, the pre-menapausal hormonal insanity of a woman who drinks too much red wine and daydreams of an Instapundit post in her O. Hey, indeed.

  15. 15.

    Fwiffo

    …I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion that, coming from Bill Clinton, the “O” of an onion ring is a vagina symbol.

    That’s worth reading again.

    …I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion that, coming from Bill Clinton, the “O” of an onion ring is a vagina symbol.

    I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion that Ann Althouse was in fact playing the role of “very crazy person” in the great blogosphere boobie incident of ‘aught-6.

  16. 16.

    Fwiffo

    One wonders if Ann has a panic attack every time she sees an Outback Steakhouse commercial featuring a Bloomin’ Onion.

  17. 17.

    Rome Again

    I’m beginning to sense a pattern with these last several posts . . .

    So am I and I have to say I like it a lot.

    John, you really outdid yourself today. ::pats on the back::

    As for the carrots and other sexually charged symbols being discussed here, I’d rather not!

  18. 18.

    kchiker

    I had to stop reading her. Her repeated claims of being a Democrat got old (maybe she does believe it, but her sneering tone towards any…you know…Democrat…makes it difficult to believe). And she’s downright lucid compared to her commenters. The stench of their hatred got to be way too much for me.

    They really can’t discuss anyone to the left of Zell Miller without screaming about the evils of socialism. Let’s see…Hillary tried and failed to implement some sort of universal health care. Romney tried and succeeded. That makes Hillary Karl Marx and Romney Ronald Reagan. Got it.

  19. 19.

    Tsulagi

    You know, I think Ann’s obsession with Clinton is causing her to miss out on a real opportunity.

    She should join her (already deep fried?) O with Dan Riehl’s little carrot stick to create a Combined World View. Together, the sum of their parts, they could be a shining beacon of light providing wisdom to Republicans now trying to find their way. An orgasm just waiting to happen. Known truth to all bloggers.

  20. 20.

    Wilfred

    It’s called the Doctrine of Signatures and is well known to the esoterically inclined. It works like this. Certain herbs and foods look like body parts. Walnuts, for instance look like brains, so walnuts are good brain food. Liverwort looks like liver, so it’s good for the liver.
    Onion rings look like vaginas. Not as much as artichokes do, of course, but they’re in the same family of things that, collectively, are associated with female sexual organs, a group that includes red cabbage, iceberg lettuce and watermelon. However, as it is not feasible to fry these things onion rings were used in the ad.
    Signature vegetables for male sexual organs range from string beans and okra to summer squash. In Egypt (the ancient one), the main dish at the wedding feast was eggplant stuffed with a kind of zucchini and Nile perch with hard-boiled plovers eggs in their mouths, washed down with home-brew.

  21. 21.

    Rome Again

    Onion rings look like vaginas.

    Oh they do not. They look like diaphragms with the center cut out only.

  22. 22.

    Zifnab

    Onion rings look like vaginas.

    Oh they do not. They look like diaphragms with the center cut out only.

    Does that mean when I eat them, I’m subconsciously attempting to live out my desire to have unsafe oral sex? Also, I like corn dogs, does that make me gay?

  24. 24.

    Jake

    One wonders if Ann has a panic attack every time she sees an Outback Steakhouse commercial featuring a Bloomin’ Onion.

    Aaah! Vagina Dentata!

  25. 25.

    Stu in VA

    Now Ann Althouse. That woman is batshit loony.

    My wife got her law degree at Wisconsin. I sent her the link to this and her response was:

    “she’s a kook”

  26. 26.

    Rome Again

    Does that mean when I eat them, I’m subconsciously attempting to live out my desire to have unsafe oral sex? Also, I like corn dogs, does that make me gay?

    If you think it does, then apparently so, yes! ;)

  28. 28.

    Barry

    Chris Says:

    “I’d be so proud if my son went to UW Law School. Think of the rhetorical and analytical skills on display here.”

    Somebody said of Instapundit, that all lawyers who *did not* graduate from U Tenn Law School should send him a check. Every post of his removes a couple more U Tenn lawyers from the pool of effective competitors.

  29. 29.

    Barry

    What gets me is that (from the descriptions; I haven’t seen the commercial) I immediately associated pulling back the onion rings and pushing the carrot sticks as a joke on Clinton’s appetite and weight problems.

  30. 30.

    Dave

    What gets me is that (from the descriptions; I haven’t seen the commercial) I immediately associated pulling back the onion rings and pushing the carrot sticks as a joke on Clinton’s appetite and weight problems.

    Well you need to watch the commercial, because it’s obviously about vaginas and penises. I mean you’d have to be bat shit insane not to see the sexual innuendo dripping from your screen. Hell after I watched it, I needed to take a shower.

  31. 31.

    Dave

    Speaking of which, is there a physical address for Ann? I thought about sending her a nice bunch of organic carrots.

  39. 39.

    LITBMueller

    Well, if Clinton was holding an unbreaded ring of calamari, then, meybe I’d see Ann’s point. ;) Maybe she thinks an onion ring is a symbol for a vagina because her own “o-ring” looks like its covered in bread crumbs? And, really, if the penises she’s been seeing lately are pointy like a carrot, then she really needs better taste in men.

    I wonder if Freud ever looked into this?: “Your laaaav of onion ringts clearly indicates that you laaaav your mothah…and wishto bludgeon your fathah witha carrot!”

  40. 40.

    Jake

    Or this one. (Doff o’ the cap to Sadly, No!)

    Damn. If that doesn’t put you off onion rings nothing will.

    If you know of any piccies of someone assaulting fried mozzeralla sticks I don’t wanna know.

  41. 41.

    Fecapult

    You know, I think Ann’s obsession with Clinton is causing her to miss out on a real opportunity.

    She should join her (already deep fried?) O with Dan Riehl’s little carrot stick to create a Combined World View. Together, the sum of their parts, they could be a shining beacon of light providing wisdom to Republicans now trying to find their way. An orgasm just waiting to happen. Known truth to all bloggers.

    Who’s bringing the ranch?

  42. 42.

    semper fubar

    Ann Althouse should hook up with Chris Matthews. Then they can both fantasize that they’re f***ing Clinton.

    This sexual fetish with Clinton on the part of our punditocracy – male and female – is grossing me out. I wish they’d find some other outlet. Preferably one I won’t have to hear about day in and day out.

  43. 43.

    The Other Steve

    When I was in San Diego last several years ago, the locals raved about something called Fish Tacos.

    Nobody ought to mention this to Ann.

  44. 44.

    Zifnab

    This sexual fetish with Clinton on the part of our punditocracy – male and female – is grossing me out. I wish they’d find some other outlet. Preferably one I won’t have to hear about day in and day out.

    Chris Mathews spends his days inhaling Odor De Romney while bathing in Aqua Velva and smoking cigars, so you shouldn’t worry yourself too much.

    Seriously, I give it all of two weeks after Mathews retires before he comes out of the closet. Three weeks, tops. That man is gayer than Tucker Carlson.

  45. 45.

    ThymeZone

    Seriously, I give it all of two weeks after Mathews retires before he comes out of the closet. Three weeks, tops. That man is gayer than Tucker Carlson.

    I’ll take the bet. I think he’s a ladies’ man, first and foremost. He absolutely swoons in front of women on his show. Women make him swoon, and power makes him swoon.

    He’s basically Ed McMahon without the gut and the laugh.

  46. 46.

    Jake

    Chris Mathews spends his days inhaling Odor De Romney while bathing in Aqua Velva and smoking cigars…

    AV is pretty much alcohol with a little fragance added. Wouldn’t he burst into flame? [/deadpan]

  47. 47.

    Remfin

    You guys just aren’t up with crazy wacko right-wing points. You missed the meaning of the key passage in that whole crazy thing. It takes the mind-blowing to a new level:

    But they’re cut up into little carrot sticks, you say? Just listen to yourself! I’m not going to point out everything.

    I’ll translate: Hillary Clinton is such a man-hating dyke she fantasizes about chopping up penises. Some of you forgot that the basis of all right-wing screeds against Hillary revolves around calling her a lesbian. If you look at the structure of that whole paragraph you can see what it’s hinting at…and then it ends without calling her one directly but with an open-ended statement

  48. 48.

    Rome Again

    I’ll translate: Hillary Clinton is such a man-hating dyke she fantasizes about chopping up penises. Some of you forgot that the basis of all right-wing screeds against Hillary revolves around calling her a lesbian. If you look at the structure of that whole paragraph you can see what it’s hinting at…and then it ends without calling her one directly but with an open-ended statement

    That just goes to show that right-winger have dirtier minds than we dirty fucking hippies do. Hmmmmmmmmm, whoddathunkit?

  49. 49.

    Rome Again

    I’ll take the bet. I think he’s a ladies’ man, first and foremost. He absolutely swoons in front of women on his show. Women make him swoon, and power makes him swoon.

    I think you’re right, I don’t see him as gay so much as as completely bowled over to power.

  51. 51.

    DougJ

    Wow, someone needs to get laid…there’s a lot of repression going on there.

    I normally hate the “someone needs to get laid” analysis, but if there ever was a case where it’s accurate, it’s here. God, she’s nuts.

  52. 52.

    Chad N. Freude

    I don’t understand why all of you are criticizing her penetrating analysis.

  53. 53.

    Krista

    Onion rings look like vaginas. Not as much as artichokes do, of course, but they’re in the same family of things that, collectively, are associated with female sexual organs, a group that includes red cabbage, iceberg lettuce and watermelon.

    Artichokes? Iceberg lettuce? What the hell kind of vaginas have you been looking at?

  54. 54.

    grumpy realist

    I *have* to go visit Pandagon and see what gets posted there….snark from the Left, snark from the Right, into the Valley of Death rode the Althouse…

    Ann Althouse is a prime example of why the stereotype of female law professors exists.

  55. 55.

    DougJ

    Artichokes? Iceberg lettuce? What the hell kind of vaginas have you been looking at?

    So you’ll concede that watermelons were a good comparison.

  56. 56.

    DougJ

    I just had this exchange with professor Althouse (you know that I am concerned about mass internet mockings of people who may suffer from real mental illness):

    Me: Ms. Althouse, this is not meant as any kind of a put-down, but I think your analysis speaks to a need for therapy.

    If Tony Soprano can do it, so can you.

    Again, I don’t mean this as an insult. But if you’re seeing carrot sticks — the archetypical health food, thus a natural choice for a man who had a bypass recently — and onion rings (which were in the original Sopranos scence) in terms of sexual imagery, I think you have some problems.

    If you’re already addressing these problems via therapy, then good for you and in that case, I’m sorry I brought this up.

    Ann Althouse: Perhaps you need therapy. You seem to be very repressed and to have a strange need to express hostility. And no sense of humor… but they can’t help you with that. Too bad. Go eat a hot dog.

    So she’s saying it is a joke? I don’t think it was, but maybe she’s trying to play it that way now.

  57. 57.

    Brian

    Oh, it gets better. See, ya’ll, she was just a-funnin’ ya:

    “See that phrase “I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion”? That’s an awfully cheap trick, a way to prod bloggers to write about the post. But nobody with any decent readership is dumb enough to say Althouse is crazy to think everyone will agree with that. Right?

    I’m saying outright: Come on, everybody, into the vortex. And in they hop. It’s an anti-Althousiana fest. I love it!”

    I’ve seen this some from the more crazed – they say something stupid or insane and when you call them on it, they say “Ha! Made you react!” See Rush Limbaugh claiming Rax Grossman’s SB performance was overly criticized b/c he’s white, and then saying I did it to screw with the media.

  60. 60.

    canuckistani

    Speaking of f-ing insane, I just noticed now that Ace of Spades has been taken off the blogroll. Did he say something extra vile, or did his parents move into a condo and shut the blog down?

  61. 61.

    Krista

    So you’ll concede that watermelons were a good comparison.

    I concede nothing. I simply could not be arsed to include all of your examples.

  63. 63.

    Bubblegum Tate

    Some of you forgot that the basis of all right-wing screeds against Hillary revolves around calling her a lesbian.

    Not just any lesbian–a lesbian who was also banging Vince Foster.

  64. 64.

    The Other Steve

    Ann was obviously joking. Anyone who reads her blog would know that.

    Careful, or Jeff Goldstein will smack you with his member.

  66. 66.

    dslak

    Speaking of f-ing insane, I just noticed now that Ace of Spades has been taken off the blogroll.

    Andrew Sullivan recently caught Ace engaging in some pretty wild gay bashing.

    Not sure if that would give John reason enough to de-link him, but it’s always good to know where the messes are so you can avoid them.

  67. 67.

    Zifnab

    Ann Althouse: Perhaps you need therapy. You seem to be very repressed and to have a strange need to express hostility. And no sense of humor… but they can’t help you with that. Too bad. Go eat a hot dog.

    This is pretty standard fare for conservative dialogue. “I’m not stupid, you’re stupid” has been raised from a playground retort to an artform. Don’t worry, if you hang out on enough wingnut blogs that don’t instantly ban you, you get to see this alot.

    Not just any lesbian—a lesbian who was also banging Vince Foster.

    Too death!

  68. 68.

    Rome Again

    Not sure if that would give John reason enough to de-link him, but it’s always good to know where the messes are so you can avoid them.

    Perhaps he can set up a Crash and Burn section so we can keep an eye on stuff like this, see what crazy shit they’re pulling from time to time. Can never learn too much about these crazies.

  69. 69.

    Andrew

    Careful, or Jeff Goldstein will smack you with his member.

    On the internet, no one knows if you’re a dog.

  71. 71.

    Andrew

    Thank you Barney.

    I guess I didn’t convey the canine anal fingering/New Yorker cartoon concepts well enough.

  72. 72.

    Rome Again

    I guess I didn’t convey the canine anal fingering/New Yorker cartoon concepts well enough.

    No, you did fine, I just didn’t realize I was only beholden to your interpretation. I like to break rules, not play by them. Perhaps you haven’t figured that out yet. ;)

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