MSNBC’s reporterette and some cop were just on spouting immeasurable outrage about this story:
Barry Cooper sells a DVD on how to stash pot in your car without getting caught. This fall he will release a second one on how to keep police from raiding your home for marijuana.
Now for the kicker: Cooper is a former narcotics officer once considered among the top cops in Texas, where more marijuana is seized each year than in any other state.
The formerly straight-laced lawman has become a shaggy-haired militant for the legalization of weed.
Six months ago he released “Never Get Busted Again,” in which the former star of West Texas’ Permian Basin Drug Task Force gives tips on hiding marijuana (dashboards are rife with nooks and crannies) and throwing off drug-sniffing dogs (coat your tires in fox urine).
Good for him. Our marijuana laws are absurd, our attitudes towards marijuana arearchaic, and we spend entirely too many resources and ruin too many lives over the stupid weed (which personally I think is a terrible drug- I will take my drugs in the form of a stiff martini, thank you). Anyone brave enough to extend the middle finger to the law enforcement community and their self-enriching attitudes about drugs gets a big “ATTA BOY” from me.
Rome Again
Where in the hell do I find fox urine? Do they sell that at GNC? OMG! That’s wild.
Personally, I think this man is doing a great service to the country.
Andrew
I think this guy is with the terrorists. At least, that’s what those ONDCP ads told me after 9/11.
Tax Analyst
I thought that line said to “coat your TIES with OX urine”…and I was thinking, “Wouldn’t it be easier and more pleasant just to stay sober?”
And my next thought was, “Well, that would surely help you score with the ladies”. A little imagined dialogue:
“Your cologne fragrance is just so unique; just what IS that?”
“Why it’s Ox urine, do you like it?”
I’d get reading glasses, but look at all the fun I’d miss.
RandyH
Rome Again-
If you are serious in your question, fox urine is used to repel predators (like rabbits and sqirrels) from you garden and such. You can find it at some garden supply houses or online.
Zifnab
You, sir, are never doing my taxes.
Gus
Marijuana is a wonderful drug. I rarely indulge any more, but it’s a lot less toxic and harmful than alcohol. Not that I have anything against drinking a beer or six on occasion.
Andrew
Like Thursday. Or pretty much any day ending in ‘day’. Yay, beer.
Third Eye Open
Reminds me of the day my father got drunk and started waxing nostalgic about the days when pot could just be shoved into his eight-track player
RandyH
Related to this whole “War of Drugs”… has anyone seen the satire ad put out by Drug Policy Alliance for “The wonder drug for politicians” Incarcerex?
Funny.
Vladi G
Might want to grab a mop while you’re at it, because your floors are probably going to get pretty wet.
jg
Is this liberal or conservative? It seems conservative because its anti-big government but its also pro-people’s rights so it seems liberal too. Is this the proof we need that these labels have no value anymore (except to assholes on the right who still need the liberal label to dismiss the arguments of those who know more than themselves)?
Rome Again
Gee, I did not realize we were all homeowners here. Hmmmmm. Perhaps we aren’t.
I’ve never had a garden to repel predators from. Perhaps one day.
Tulkinghorn
It makes me wax nostalgic for the Saturday afternoons spent driving around running errands with my dad while he drank two or three Ballentine ales. Anytime he saw the cops he would hand me the can and it was my job to stash it under the seat. The larger lesson was that white, Middle age executives driving Oldsmobile 88s never get pulled over for a search.
Zifnab
Someone should inform Paris Hilton.
Jake
Hey now, just because weed helps cancer patients and other people suffering from horrible diseases doesn’t mean we want it to be legal or anything. Next you’ll be suggesting we murder snow flake babies for research rather than letting nature take its course in the form IVF clinics destroy them. [/Fauxrage]
Wow, I knew there were a lot of flavoured martini’s out there but Rugtinis?
Add one jigger of Eau de Trump…
Rome Again
The entire thread is nostalgic for me. I used to have an email account called The War on Rugs (it was a rug factory thing LOL).
John was right, stop pestering him. ;)
Rome Again
I like the Fabrica myself.
Dreggas
I saw this, this morning too and listened to the chick hosting and some schmuck she had on going off about how unethical it all was and all I could think was “wow even ex-narcotic cops see just how stupid laws against pot are”.
Bubblegum Tate
First you smuggle a bag of shitty Mexican dirt weed, and before you know it, you’re smuggling in terrorists and giving them aid and comfort!
Those post-9/11 ONDCP ads were hilarious. The one that was essentially saying “if you buy weed, you’re giving money to Osama, who will then use it to murder Americans” was probably my favorite because it was like Reefer Madness 2002.
Jake
Tasty! We’ve been looking for a living room rug to replace the one our resident beasts destroyed. Why do we bother with any floor covering? Because the sound of a big fat cat lumbering around all day makes the woman downstairs laugh.
Andrew
That has got to be the weirdest euphemism for rough sex that I have ever heard.
pacified
I can verify Zifnab claim. Being white in Honda Civic helps too.
The Other Steve
Fox Urine? What does that smell like?
I was thinking it’d be better to use Cat Urine. Have you ever smelled cat piss? Just about the worst smell in the world.
But then, who wants to drive a car around smelling like cat urine?
ThymeZone
Warrondrugs is the second biggest scam in American history, behind Warronterra.
Both of these phony wars are pimped and ridden to glory by the same people, the authoritarians on both sides of the political aisle who only care about this stuff insofar as it bolsters their positions of power.
George Orwell was mostly right, the secret is constant war, and as it happens since we let the Dulles Brothers have their way, constant war against each other. That’s how you get and keep power in this country.
When we’re tired of it, we’ll vote otherwise.
Keith
What’s terrible about marijuana? Are you speaking of “dirt weed” or all of it in general, including the newer hydroponic varieties (looks and smells more like an actual flower, with a better, longer high and a flavorful taste that ranges from hints of blueberry to Juicy Fruit to cotton candy to just about any sweet flavor under the sun)?
ThymeZone
Well, Toonces, for one.
jrg
Keep your terrorist demon weed. Everyone knows that hippies invented that shit back in the 1960’s in order to destroy America. I prefer the $20 semi-recreational pills I get from Pfizer.
Corporate chill pills are tested on monkeys, so they’re verifiably safe (except for the occasional vomiting, diarrhea, unsafe drops in blood pressure, and erections lasting more than four hours).
mrmobi
I myself gave it up, reluctantly, 20 years ago. Got to agree with you about alcohol, but I do like bourbon quite a lot.
The War on Drugs. Another fantastic Republican Idea (mainly Nixon) which has netted us massive prison overcrowding and trivialization of real crime, and… ready for it?… more drug use.
From Wikipedia…
John, I counsel you to stop taking rugs, they are filled with dangerous chemicals. Take drugs instead. Just trying to help.
ThymeZone
Four hours? Aw, hell, that’s nothin. I have those all the time.
The Other Steve
BTW, we now have to call them the 26%ers…
They’ve been demoted.
mrmobi
Ok, technical question regarding Fox urine. We have a visiting Possum (oppossum?), which surprised my 22-year-old daughter when she returned home one night, sitting on our deck. Nothing happened, but her sighting seems to explain a “brood smell” that we’ve detected lately. Would Fox urine make the Possum living under my deck go away? Would the smell be worse than the Possum?
I’m holding the suitcase nuke in reserve, just in case.
ThymeZone
Bush heads for popularity ratings in the teens?
Wow. The guy was boasting about political capital just two years ago.
What a fuckhead.
Third Eye Open
Tulkinghorn,
Perhaps you’re right, my father drove a ’69 Super-Bug, painted like a cow…needless to say, this prolly explains why he was constantly getting pulled over, and having to stash the MJ where the Frampton don’t shine.
Rome Again
ThymeZone Says:
I’m certainly not unhappy to hear that. I’d like to see him at 6% personally. ;)
Jake
I was going to say the US attitude towards pot is a great example of nanny (or foster) statism, but I see Australia is waaay ahead of us.
Howard makes Bush seem not quite so bad.
canuckistani
I don’t see his popularity dropping much more. Even if the dead-enders privately don’t support him any more, they won’t say so. They’d rather go down with the ship than admit that those dirty hippies were right about anything.
demimondian
For my part, my only recreational drug is pushed by these America-hating pushers — all the rest make me too sick.
My thoughts about the war on drugs were reshaped when I watched a friend of mine struggle with the pain associated with terminal cancer. I’ve always thought the weed should be legal; it’s no more dangerous than alcohol, but I’d opposed the legalization of heroin and the like. Watching my friend’s suffering in her last few months changed my mind — heroin is easier to administer than morphine or oxycodone, neither of which is as water soluble than heroin. Who cared if she becomes addicted, for God’s sake? She was in pain — and in such pain that the pain killers were painful to administer! Surely we could show her some mercy!
Mr Furious
From that MSNBC/Newsweek poll TZ cited above:
What that tells me: Americans expected Democrats to push back against Bush and the GOP’s bullshit, and they are pissed off things seem unchanged. Time to start making bold moves and oppose the War.
What that tells Dem leaders (Reid, etc.): Oooo. People are unhappy, better try to get along with Bush and the GOP. Better not rock the boat…Don’t want to get caught opposing the War…
Morons.
srv
In other news, paypal has volutarily turned over his customer information to the FBI, which will be updating the online police databases accessed during traffic stops.
DougJ
Good post!
ThymeZone
That’s the kind of thinking that keeps Dems labeled as weak.
(PS — I totally agree with you. People at the end of life should be exempt from this bullshit and be free to do what they need to do to allevaite suffering. Period).
Zifnab
I’m not going to lie. I read that first sentence and thought we were talking about cable news.
Jake
But…that might deprive various politians of the chance to engage in endless wankfests over the fate of Americans with severe brain damage! [Insert joke about 28%ers here.]
RLaing
Maybe there’s a war on drugs, but I doubt it. Too much profit in illegal drugs for the politicians to mean it. Could be part of a general drive to grow the free-market miracle of privatized prisons, or might be a way to get dusky-hued voters off the rolls. You never know what the bastards actually want, only that what they claim is usually bogus.
Brian
Why should we expect the Democratic leadership to push back? They fundamentally support the bipartisan consensus on war and American terrorism abroad. People are kidding themselves.
LITBMueller
Well, I live in Philly, where people are shooting each other over, basically, nothing, at a record pace. These shootings are are not generally tied into the drug trade right now, but I figure saying to sections of the city with lots of assholes carrying guns, “hey, go ahead and sell all the drugs you want!,” probably would not help the problem much.
In other words, people willing to shoot others over the slightest disrespect are going to be even more willing to shoot over a profitable, legal drug trade.
Hell, oil profits alone cause wars!
ed
Fox urine does not work because it stinks worse than any other urine, it works because foxes are natural predators of common pest animals and the p*ss scares the sh*t out of them and they leave.
And RandyH, rabbits and squirrels are NOT predators, just pests (predators kill other animals for food), well, except the rabbit that attacked Jimmy Carter. And we don’t know what Jimmy was smoking when he saw the killer rabbit.
Bubblegum Tate
As long as we’re talking about the Warondrugs, has anybody else seen Cocaine Cowboys (the recent documentary, not the old Warhol flick)? It really is a hell of a story that those guys tell.
Zifnab
Inner city New York used to be rife with crime, until they flooded the streets with cops and started sweeping out poor people, addicts, and the like. Now it’s less rife.
This didn’t have anything to do with the drug trade, it had to do with the cop trade. People are less likely to commit crimes when a police officer is within line of sight.
Make drugs legal, and it becomes harder to control people from using them because the cops lose their effect. Keeping drug use / trade as a felony offense just makes the substances valuable commodities.
Thus, the middle ground is – as it usually is – the best ground. Making illegal drugs on par with traffic tickets gives people enough incentive to smoke like they speed – discretely. And, frankly, that’s all anyone is really asking for.
You won’t see McMarijuana but you won’t see the massive black market for the stuff either. Because people won’t try to shoot their way through a police barricade over a $100 ticket for possession.
ThymeZone
{Add to Cart }
Bubblegum Tate
You didn’t hear it from me, but Bubble Berry is pretty freakin’ amazing.
ThymeZone
Yes, I want the 2-Day Shipping option.
Andrew
Are you saying we should be smoking pot ALL of the time?
semper fubar
I missed the newsotainment piece on teevee, so thanks for the public service message John.
I DID see the story on CNBC (?) about the toddler who got a vodka and lemonade by accident at a Ruby Tuesdays restaurant. Seems the bartender mixed up the order. The jig was up when the toddler said to mommy and daddy “This tastes YUCKY.” Child and parents are resting comfortably at home.
Yes, this was a national news story on at noon today.
Rome Again
LMAO! Me too, please!
I’d say something but I’d have to repeat myself. ;)
ThymeZone
Great. The stupidass Nanny Media can’t ask a few questions and keep us out of a war, but they can keep us alert to the possibility that a kid might get the wrong drink at ruby Tuesday’s!
Fuck me very much.
srv
And even if they do and you report it, the NYC cops will tell you to f**k off. Works wonders on the crime statistics.
Zifnab
Damn you, math men!
Seriously, though. This was an ironic story.
~C&L
If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny.
Jake
Before we proceed we’ll need a note from your parent/guardian. Please make sure s/he checks the appropriate box to indicate how very much you should be fucked.
Rome Again
Sounds like an activist judge was on that case. You know, one of those
left-wingright-wing loonies!Rome Again
Well, at least you’re not asking how much he’s been fucked already. ;)
jg
Foxes prey on drug sniffing dogs?
I’ve heard great things about grape, sometimes called purple or Barney. But of course you never heard any of this from me. In fact I’m not even here right now.
Rome Again
By the way, I’d like to remind everyone that the title of this thread was “bucking the man, not f…………….”
Just in case you forgot!
Rome Again
The ghost of jg has spoken.
jg
LOL
I was going to post the exact same comment but decided against it since I wasn’t in the conversation and I wasn’t sure if the joke would just bomb because of that. Definately works coming from a participant. LOL
ThymeZone
Well, if this government and this media are the standard, I should be prepared to be fucked very, very much indeed. Very much indeed.
ConservativelyLiberal
I wonder if bear urine will work?
John, you toss back that martini, and I will take a hit off the ol’ bong… ;)
I have stash places all over my cars and motorcycle. Don’t need a DVD but the tip about fox urine has been added to my list.
Another cop sees the light. I got locked up for growing personal stash, but I broke the law on the book and expected no less. The law needs to be changed. Hemp was used to make all kinds of stuff in the past, and now we make it a hassle for even manufacturers to use it. Cutting off the nose to spite the face, so to say…
semper fubar
Do you think you get reported to the NSA just for visiting his website, or only if you order the DVD?
Just askin’…..