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You are here: Home / God Does Not Love Me This Much

God Does Not Love Me This Much

by Tim F|  July 11, 20078:16 am| 20 Comments

This post is in: Rumormongering

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Please disregard the Palfrey-related rumors floating around Washington. They’re probably bogus. But if true, I cannot tell you what lengths I will go to avoid reading the Starr Report about it. Seriously. If Wolf Blitzer has a celebrity panel talking about distinguishing marks I might put a brick through my teevee.

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Previous Post: « Moral Authority
Next Post: News Bits »

Reader Interactions

20Comments

  1. 1.

    ThymeZone

    July 11, 2007 at 8:48 am

    We shan’t rest until the sex lives of Tim and John are fully exposed. How else are we to judge their moral authority?

  2. 2.

    Tim F.

    July 11, 2007 at 9:03 am

    How else are we to judge their moral authority?

    When did I claim moral authority? You must have gotten lost on the way to Blogs for Brownback.

  3. 3.

    Cyrus

    July 11, 2007 at 9:03 am

    That’s it? Dick Cheney accused (rumored vaguely) to be one of the clients on The Madam’s List? How anticlimactic, pun very much not intended. John “Crisco” “John” Ashcroft or some even better-known Republican Congressional leader or any member of the Bush family, now that would be entertaining. But this kind of pales to shooting a man in the face.

  4. 4.

    Rome Again

    July 11, 2007 at 9:43 am

    We shan’t rest until the sex lives of Tim and John are fully exposed. How else are we to judge their moral authority?

    John Cole does not HAVE sex, how can anyone expose something that doesn’t exist?

    As for Tim, well, I think that’s better left undercover.

  5. 5.

    ThymeZone

    July 11, 2007 at 10:20 am

    When did I claim moral authority?

    No, no. You guys don’t get to claim it, we get to decide that.

    It’s all there in the by-laws.

  6. 6.

    Billy K

    July 11, 2007 at 10:39 am

    If Darth Cheney was on the list, the list would’ve never seen the light of day. And Palfrey wouldn’t have either.

  7. 7.

    jrg

    July 11, 2007 at 10:41 am

    Dear Balloon Juice,

    I’ve always read about this sort of thing in magazines, but I never thought it would happen to me.

    He was dressed to the 9’s in a $3,000 Dolce & Gabbana suit. When he snarled at me across the bar, I knew something magical was going to happen. Little did I know, within a few hours, I would be covered in his light, sweet crude, well screwed like a detainee, and experiencing my umpteenth mind-blowing palpitation of the evening…

  8. 8.

    Jake

    July 11, 2007 at 10:48 am

    Laugh? Scream? Vomit profusely?

  9. 9.

    Rusty Shackleford

    July 11, 2007 at 11:09 am

    Well, if your wife was a lesbian like Lynne Cheney wouldn’t you seek services elsewhere?

  10. 10.

    The Other Steve

    July 11, 2007 at 11:18 am

    I don’t believe it for a minute.

    Everything I’ve read about Palfrey, she lined up high-class women with high-class men.

    Not once has anybody talked about her running a pedophilia ring.

  11. 11.

    The Other Andrew

    July 11, 2007 at 12:28 pm

    Should an elderly, overweight man with a heart-condition be engaging in something like that?

  12. 12.

    ThymeZone

    July 11, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    Should an elderly, overweight man with a heart-condition be engaging in something like that?

    Hey, I resent that. I’m six feet and 165 lbs. Hardly overweight.

  13. 13.

    Rome Again

    July 11, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Hey, I resent that. I’m six feet and 165 lbs. Hardly overweight.

    I don’t consider you elderly either, I don’t think you were the subject of that post TZ.

    It’s okay, you’re “good to go”. ;)

  14. 14.

    Jake

    July 11, 2007 at 1:10 pm

    Should an elderly, overweight man with a heart-condition be engaging in something like that?

    If it leads to the following headline:

    “Cheney at Bethesda Naval after Pleasure Pit mishap”

    Then the answer is an emphatic YES!

  15. 15.

    Dreggas

    July 11, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Jake Says:

    Should an elderly, overweight man with a heart-condition be engaging in something like that?

    If it leads to the following headline:

    “Cheney at Bethesda Naval after Pleasure Pit mishap tens unit connected to buttplug malfunctions”

    Then the answer is an emphatic YES!

    Fixed

  16. 16.

    Jake

    July 11, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    tens unit

    Yes? No? Do I wanna know???

    Other supplies, including but not limited to the following, will not be separately allowed: adapters (snap, banana, alligator, tab, button, clip), belt clips, adhesive remover, additional connecting cable for lead wires, carrying pouches, or covers.

    Hmmm. No mention of ball gags or leather hoods. But that might explain why DC doesn’t understand all of the fuss about torturing prisoners.

  17. 17.

    ThymeZone

    July 11, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    It’s okay, you’re “good to go”.

    Woo hoo!

  18. 18.

    Dreggas

    July 11, 2007 at 4:36 pm

    Jake Says:

    tens unit

    Yes? No? Do I wanna know???

    Other supplies, including but not limited to the following, will not be separately allowed: adapters (snap, banana, alligator, tab, button, clip), belt clips, adhesive remover, additional connecting cable for lead wires, carrying pouches, or covers.

    Hmmm. No mention of ball gags or leather hoods. But that might explain why DC doesn’t understand all of the fuss about torturing prisoners.

    Yes. Thus further proving the “If you think it we can kink it” theory.

    And yes many “toy” stores sell the tens unit as well as items designed to be used with it.

  19. 19.

    jake

    July 11, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    Yes. Thus further proving the “If you think it we can kink it” theory.

    Holy shit. I only knew what it was because I write about Medicare. And now I can’t get the words lymphedema pump out of my mind. [Pours bleach in ear]

    There’s a reference book for ya: Fun with Medicare Covered Medical Equipment.

  20. 20.

    Dreggas

    July 12, 2007 at 10:50 am

    jake Says:

    Yes. Thus further proving the “If you think it we can kink it” theory.

    Holy shit. I only knew what it was because I write about Medicare. And now I can’t get the words lymphedema pump out of my mind. [Pours bleach in ear]

    There’s a reference book for ya: Fun with Medicare Covered Medical Equipment.

    I think one like that has already been written.

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