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You are here: Home / Politics / Republican Stupidity / Abortion 4 Ever

Abortion 4 Ever

by Tim F|  July 19, 20079:37 am| 27 Comments

This post is in: Republican Stupidity

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Surprise, GOP hopeful Fred Thompson either has a crappy memory or he lied when his campaign denied that he ever lobbied for abortion rights. Honestly, I’ll never get why the Thompson camp denied these allegations. Everybody involved seemed to remember him there. Sooner or later someone would find the box with the contracts in it. Is it really that hard to say sure, I occasionally lobbied for things that I didn’t believe in. Lawyers represent people whom they would rather see in jail, doctors cure cop-killing thugs who might or might not deserve it. It’s part of being a professional.

Instead Thompson denied it and the story lives to harrass him another day. The difference is that the headline last week read, “Thompson did some mildly embarrassing lobbying work almost twenty years ago.” Today it reads, “Thompson campaign lied last week.” Amateurs.

Every day I remind myself that somebody has to win the GOP nomination.

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27Comments

  1. 1.

    Zifnab

    July 19, 2007 at 9:52 am

    Everybody involved seemed to remember him there. Sooner or later someone would find the box with the contracts in it. Is it really that hard to say sure, I occasionally lobbied for things that I didn’t believe in. Lawyers represent people whom they would rather see in jail, doctors cure cop-killing thugs who might or might not deserve it. Senators in diapers get nookie from paid professionals while trying to impeach the President over an immoral blowjob. It’s part of being a professional.

    Fixed.

    Between John “Amnesty” McCain, Mitt “Multiple Choice” Romney, and Rudy “Closet Liberal” Guilaini, the Republicans are looking really hard for a pol that actually believes in the (R) Party Platform of gay bashing, brown-people hating, and torture. Hollywood Fred doesn’t want to disabuse them of the notion that he’s just acting the part of sanctimonious wacko.

  2. 2.

    Justin

    July 19, 2007 at 9:53 am

    I don’t think this is an outright stupid strategy. The single issue abortion voters are also the ones most prone to dismissing evidence from the reality-based community as “liberal lies”. It doesn’t matter if a picture shows up with Thompson sticking the vacumn hose between some single mother’s legs–it’s all “liberal lies”. And how can you tell it’s Thompson in those pictures anyway, the guy has a mask on. Oh, the nametag? Photoshopped in. The affidavits from everyone else in the room, including the now pulped fetus? Bought off with DNC money. The after-procedure videotape showing Fred laughing and waving around the bloody vacumn hose with the blade attachment, giggling about the amazing blowjob he gave that baby? Totally out of context, doesn’t mean what you think it means. It was a halloween costume.

  3. 3.

    Nicholas Weaver

    July 19, 2007 at 9:58 am

    Well, isn’t None of the Above winning in the polls right now?

  4. 4.

    ThymeZone

    July 19, 2007 at 10:05 am

    B-b-b-b-but, Fred Flintstone is their savior!

    He’s got that camera presence that made Reagan a great president!

  5. 5.

    Jake

    July 19, 2007 at 10:12 am

    Justin nails it. Forgive and forget, love the sinner hate the sin, judge not lest ye be judged. Provided we’re talking about a nice-smelling Republican.

    And if he took a Shop-Vac to a single mother, who cares what happens to that hussy or her baby? She’s the real sinner! And Clinton got a blow job!

  6. 6.

    Punchy

    July 19, 2007 at 10:14 am

    I’d hate to be Tommy Thompson. All this negative Thompson publicity and it’s not even his fault.

    I think Fred ought to just go all-out crazy to win back these constituents and claim if elected, he will ban all blenders in an effort to stop the rabid liberal consumption of abortion milkshakes.

  7. 7.

    Dreggas

    July 19, 2007 at 10:17 am

    Jake Says:

    And if he took a Shop-Vac to a single mother, who cares what happens to that hussy or her baby? She’s the real sinner! And Clinton got a blow job!

    It could be argued that so did the single mother…

  8. 8.

    Tim F.

    July 19, 2007 at 10:22 am

    Well, isn’t None of the Above winning in the polls right now?

    Sure, but I doubt they will nominate him.

  9. 9.

    canuckistani

    July 19, 2007 at 11:05 am

    Makes you yearn for the days of Kang and Kodos, doesn’t it?

  10. 10.

    Dreggas

    July 19, 2007 at 11:10 am

    Tim F. Says:

    Well, isn’t None of the Above winning in the polls right now?

    Sure, but I doubt they will nominate him.

    Well from what I can tell Mr. Above doesn’t have many negatives about him. Seems he has positions that the wingers can agree with (especially since they make them up) and though he might be an empty suit it’s most assuredly better than the other choices and that includes what we have now.

    The debates could be tricky but so long as they have someone who can throw their voice real well Mr. Above has a shot.

  11. 11.

    Davebo

    July 19, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Fred has decided to delay the announcement of his candidacy till September.

    Wasn’t some other thingy supposed to happen in September?

  12. 12.

    ThymeZone

    July 19, 2007 at 11:20 am

    Wasn’t some other thingy supposed to happen in September?

    Yes, that’s when the Iraqi government comes back from its vacation.

    Seriously, they are going on vacation.

    Thompson wants to be sure he doesn’t look too silly supporting the war while the Iraqi officials are in Italy sipping Chianti and having some great conversation about Sunni versus Shia. Which as we all know is the great contest upon which civilization rests.

  13. 13.

    RSA

    July 19, 2007 at 11:26 am

    I don’t think this is an outright stupid strategy. The single issue abortion voters are also the ones most prone to dismissing evidence from the reality-based community as “liberal lies”.

    If Rove were running Thompson’s campaign, he’d be spreading the rumor that Thompson didn’t do any pro-choice lobbying at all. What he actually did was take the money of the abortionists, raise their hopes, and waste a good deal of their time, all the while working against them in secret.

  14. 14.

    jrg

    July 19, 2007 at 11:29 am

    I think Fred ought to just go all-out crazy to win back these constituents and claim if elected, he will ban all blenders in an effort to stop the rabid liberal consumption of abortion milkshakes.

    Good point. How can Thompson be a leader of men if his support for genitalia legislation wavers?

    Every Republican knows that the purpose of government is to sniff around in underwear drawers, bash gays, force pregnancies, and spread the good word of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. They get a state religion Iranistan, why can’t we get such basic government services here?

    Anyone who disagrees with this (Thompson?) really just hates Christians, and wants to put them in concentration camps. He probably believes all that liberal claptrap about “separation of church and state”, too.

    But seriously, the 28%ers have been whipped up into such a self-righteous, reality-denying, whining victim mentality, there is no sane-sounding fine that line Thompson (or anyone else) can walk that will still satisfy Republican primary voters. The abortion milkshake strategy might actually be a real winner.

  15. 15.

    norbizness

    July 19, 2007 at 11:35 am

    It’s just like Brewster’s Millions!

  16. 16.

    ThymeZone

    July 19, 2007 at 11:36 am

    Every Republican knows that the purpose of government is to sniff around in underwear drawers, bash gays, force pregnancies, and spread the good word of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

    Hey, don’t knock it. Jesus has The Power, amigo.

    (Nod to N.E.)

  17. 17.

    Dreggas

    July 19, 2007 at 11:54 am

    jrg Says:

    Good point. How can Thompson be a leader of men if his support for genitalia legislation wavers?

    SOUTURES ON EVERY VAGINA AND A CB2000 FOR EVERY DICK!

  18. 18.

    ThymeZone

    July 19, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    A CB2000 FOR EVERY DICK CHENEY!

    Improved.

  19. 19.

    Dreggas

    July 19, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    ThymeZone Says:

    A CB2000 FOR EVERY DICK CHENEY!

    Improved.

    considering what the CB2000 is meant for it wouldn’t do much to dick. Now a tens unit wired to clamps (3) placed on his nipples (I know bleach for the brain time) and his ticker would cook.

  20. 20.

    Jake

    July 19, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    SOUTURES ON EVERY VAGINA

    David Souter on every vagina? I don’t think women would like that. Although it would be much better than Scalia on every vagina.

  21. 21.

    Dave

    July 19, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Lawyers represent people whom they would rather see in jail, doctors cure cop-killing thugs who might or might not deserve it. It’s part of being a professional.

    Problem is the people he is courting are the same people that refuse to fill birth control prescriptions. Professionalism and nuance isn’t something these people understand.

  22. 22.

    Dreggas

    July 19, 2007 at 12:27 pm

    Jake Says:

    SOUTURES ON EVERY VAGINA

    David Souter on every vagina? I don’t think women would like that. Although it would be much better than Scalia on every vagina.

    Come to think of it….Scalia does sound like some new VD, then again I bet good ol’ Clarence Thomas would be pissed if Scalia hogged all the action.

  23. 23.

    Psycheout

    July 19, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    If Thompson is some great pro-life guy, it seems like he’d remember advocating for baby murder. But he’s not exactly been making pro-life statements. Hannity had to cut him off recently to prevent him from championing the “right to choose” and sticking a fork in his evangelical support.

  24. 24.

    Tax Analyst

    July 19, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Scalia DOES sound like some sort of nasty STD…in fact, I believe he is.

  25. 25.

    conumbdrum

    July 19, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    Humorous blogger TBogg put it so well that I am loath to add a word to his analysis:

    For those keeping score at home:

    Rudy Giuliani is pro-baby killing

    Mitt Romney was for baby killing before he was against it

    and Fred Thompson is against baby killing unless he gets a paycheck, making him the only true Republican in the race.

    Oh, SNAP!

  26. 26.

    Krista

    July 20, 2007 at 8:45 am

    SOUTURES ON EVERY VAGINA

    God damn, people!

    Why don’t the women on this site just start talking about swift kicks to the nuts with steel-toed boots? See how you guys like the visceral response…

  27. 27.

    r€nato

    July 21, 2007 at 2:20 am

    Every day I remind myself that somebody has to win the GOP nomination.

    hmm, which cliche to use?

    ‘ah, the soft bigotry of low expectations’

    ‘talk about a race to the bottom!’

    yes, someone has to win… it’s kind of like the race for the 8th playoff seed in the NBA… whichever team ends up with it, more or less backs into it rather than winning it…

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